asks: How do you write romance between two characters that people will ship?

In case you're like me, and out of touch with current youngster lingo, to "ship" characters is to root for them to get together in a romantic relationship. It comes from "relationSHIP". Now that we are all up to date, on with the lesson...

One of my biggest peeves in any story is "insta-love", or love at first sight. Maybe it's because I've never had such an experience myself, but I personally think it's hogwash. There is lust at first sight, sure. Some people naturally have chemistry with each other. But physical attraction does not equal love. For actual love to happen, these characters need to actually know each other first.

If two people have gone through the same thing, it gives them an invisible bond that those who haven't experienced it cannot relate to. It could be surviving a plane crash, or losing a child to gang violence, or enduring days as a hostage. It could be positive things, like beating cancer, earning a valedictorian title, or training for a triathlon. Shared experiences give the characters some immediate common ground. They can joke or complain about it, and both will be able to commiserate.

Sometimes two people who have little in common on the surface discover they actually share similar beliefs. In Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope, Han Solo at first seems to be a charming, laid-back, self-serving rogue with few morals. Princess Leia, on the other hand, seems to be a dignified spitfire, battling for her cause. They seem to have nothing in common, and in fact fight a lot during the movie. But eventually we discover them both to be courageous, good-hearted, and in complete agreement that they need to stop the Empire from succeeding. Again, common ground gives them something solid to build upon.

"Opposites attract" used to be a phrase that stymied me. It made no sense, because how would opposites even get along? Then I figured out that, if the two people are able to agree to disagree on some things and maintain respect for each other, their opposing traits can actually work together. One person who loves to talk can carry the conversation when the other person doesn't speak as much. A socially awkward computer genius can partner with a personable salesperson to market a new app. A talented swordswoman can protect a powerful mage while he conjures a spell they need to enter a cave. A balance happens when one person's strengths compliments the other's weaknesses, and vice versa.

Our job as storyteller is to reveal these commonalities as the story progresses. In my story, Nirrin (which is currently an early draft and in need of major revisions), some of my readers were unable to "ship" the romance I intended. In my mind, the two characters had a lot in common. However I did a poor job of revealing one character's motivations, which resulted in a not-very-believable romance. (Yet another example of why beta readers or critique partners are important. I didn't see this problem!) As I rewrite portions of my story, one of my top priorities will be to make that character more likable by showing he cares, and really does have a lot in common with Nirrin.

When I read Obsidian, by Jennifer Armentrout, I couldn't finish the story. The girl kept drooling over this hot guy who treated her like crap. I read at least half, hoping she would discover that he was actually a nice guy worth getting involved with. But he kept right on insulting her at every turn, and I started hating her for liking him. Did she not have any self-respect? What was wrong with her?? A huge part of making the romance believable is to make the two characters involved likable. We can't root for characters we don't like.