《How to Write Stories People Will Love》Question 38: Not sounding forced
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asks: How do you make a scene (like snow falling,) seem elegant without forcing it too much? I'm trying to write the prologue for my story, but writing the opening paragraph doesn't seem right (it starts with a wolf hunting in the snow) it feels like I'm forcing it.
When our writing feels or sounds forced, it's usually because we're trying to write in a style that doesn't suit us. It may also be you're trying to discover what your writing style is, and the only way to do that is to experiment with writing in different ways. Here are a few suggestions for writing in an elegant manner, and hopefully avoiding sounding forced.
I have an entire chapter called Use Strong Verbs, because they help paint a stronger picture. Compare these two sentences:
The snow fell, and everything was covered in white powder.
The snow fluttered to the ground, blanketing everything in white powder.
In the second example, "fluttered" and "blanketing" are much stronger verbs than "fell" or "was". Our minds can imagine the snowflakes not just falling down, but wafting about as they fall. And then the snow doesn't just settle on the ground, it cozies up to everything like a blanket. We don't get those impressions in the first example.
Snow itself doesn't have emotions, but we can attribute emotions to them. Snow can be happily fluttering. Or it can be bone-chillingly severe. Or covering everything in a soggy layer of depression. Adding emotions adds a subtle elegance to a scene that might not have been there before.
An analogy is when you describe a thing by comparing it to another. "She laughed like a hyena" is an analogy. The feel of an analogy can give a story different vibes. They can be funny, unusual, foreboding, whimsical, or even cliche, if it's an overused one (like my hyena analogy). Here's how I come up with analogies...
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In my story, Siena, I wanted the forest to seem like an inviting place to escape to, rather than a dark, scary place. So I thought about things that protect us. Guard dogs. Bodyguards. Guards. Soldiers. Hmm... soldiers could work. I thought of what strong verbs I could use, and came up with "the trees sprang from the ground like protective soldiers."
Watch how different analogies can give the reader different impressions of snow:
- The snow formed swirling patterns, like ripples in a pond.
- The wind battered snow against my face like icy bullets.
- The snow was slushier than my mom's terrible homemade ice cream.
- The snow was an icy pall, weighing everything down like the sadness in my heart. (Double analogy!)
Try to come up with some interesting ones. For me, some of the most memorable lines from books have been analogies I'd never seen before.
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Adventurer - Sunrise Over Sunset
Thrust into a world governed by tabletop RPG rules, Cire seeks out a place to belong, protect, and thrive. The allure of community is strong when you have nothing. He will strive to prove himself worthy of acceptance, while struggling to hide a dark secret. He wasn’t chosen by the gods. He wasn’t granted unique or powerful skills. He definitely wasn’t gifted good fortune. With a motley band of friends, remote starting location, and questionable prospects Cire will endeavor to survive in Elysium. Series – Dice rolls, quests, and intriguing characters are only the tip of the spear. The Adventurer series includes playable game mechanics, maps, and more! Thrust into a world governed by tabletop RPG rules, Cire must survive an onslaught of wondrous and horrific challenges. His peculiar race, charismatic personality, and talent for turning negative situations sideways might just be the tools he needs to achieve his goals, or they may lead to his ruin. Adventurer Book II - Dawn of an Empire Short story prequel- The Lurking Lair: An Adventuer Series Short Story Summary for the LitRPG savvy reader: Looking for a LitRPG that is more tabletop traditional role playing game and less MMORPG? This is probably your cup of tea. Long term progression with a heavy slice of life element. Strong mix and inclusion of ancient Greek life, values, and myths. Hence, the world can be a bit more harsh and brutish than modern sensibilities. The system is tangible and knowable beyond the MC's insights. The MC is more of an everyman than someone specifically chosen for the experience. Author's Note: This is my debut novel. Up until this point, the only thing I have written of comparable length has been non-fiction and related to history. I am immensely grateful to all the folks who have given me feedback and helped me improve my writing.
8 133Mc's not part of the story
WARNING: Early chapters are shitty. Mikael was a graduating student when a global summoning transported him inside a forest full of monsters. Inside this place, he met people that would help him reach his goal: to return back on Earth and meet his family. (note: this is my first novel. If you see any errors just tell me and I'll edit it. English is my second language so expect some mistakes. Please support me if you like the story) (Rate one-star only, since this story deserves it.)
8 122Dangerous Love
|Book 1 in Dangerous Mafia Series| Please read this first|A girl who has secrets and thoughts darker than most. A boy who will be the leader of the most powerful Mafia in the world. A past of heartbreak and pain. Brooklyn Lilac Russo grew up learning how two kill a man in hundreds of ways. She never feared death she embraced it. She knows more languages than you can count on your hands. Killing people has never been a problem. But falling in love? That is something she tried but did not work out. Now, will she be able to find love with a man who rivals herself in death and destruction?Mason Enzo Morelli grew up knowing what his role is in the world. Be the greatest Mafia empire known in every town and city. He built his own gang at 14 and at 21 he has to prepare to take over his family's empire built on fear and death. But a young woman who is blessed with the beauty of the gods but rivals the devil comes into his life and messes up his plans. Can they fall for each other while Brooke's past catches up to her? or will the past take the one thing, Mason loves more than life itself?
8 207The Saga of Erik the Unyielding
Erik was only an average farmer, work in the fields was everything that he knew. Resigning to a monotonous existence, he gave up the dream of becoming a knight. That life ended long ago. When a witch burned his village and tainting his soul with a demon. He would have ended it all if not for the fact that he would end up in hell, forever stuck and tormented with the demon.He had long lost all faith, when a mysterious individual approached him and offer him a chance to redeem his soul. He would have to sail to an uncharted land, full of mysteries and abomination in a suicidal mission to contact the gods of old.Will he be able to lift his curse? Or will he be condemn to the hell fires forever? --------------------------- Inspired by Shadow of the Colossus, Shogun and Berserk. Most of the story takes place either in surreal lands or on wastelands of ice.In hiatus until the author doesn't figure a schedule that works.If you have a piece of feedback or an opinion on the story, don't hesitate to comment or message me.
8 617My Ruthless Mafia | TAEKOOK
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8 86Dominating The Alpha {KookV}✔
"Hey, dudewhy you are nudeIn the woodI can see.......your fruityou shouldget changed in the hoodohh shootwas I rude?it fucking rhymed"Jeon Jungkook the soon to be alpha of dark crystal pack. He is arrogant, possessive, over protective over his property, dominant, sometime ruthless ,gets dominated by a ordinary but savage, sassy, cocky human ,his mate Kim Taehyung a KookV werewolf fanfic .Top:KookBottom :Taeit's obviously a boy×boy bookStarted: november,2018.Completed:21 may,2019#100k reads "11th may,2019 " Taenk u all 😘😘#200k ,june 19,2019 ❤❤
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