《How to Write Stories People Will Love》Question 37: Phone conversations
Advertisement
asks: How do I write a phone conversation?
How a phone conversation is handled depends on the point of view we are in. If the POV character is the one on the phone, then it's easy to treat it like any other conversation. You would put the dialogue in quotation marks as usual. It would also be helpful to drop in reminders that this person is on the phone, like shifting the phone to the other ear during the conversation, or pulling the phone away when the other person is shouting.
It gets trickier when someone else is on the phone. When the POV character is not party to the conversation, they only hear one side. There are different ways to handle this.
The trick here is to have the person that we can hear say things that help us understand what the conversation is about, but not like they're strangely paraphrasing the other person. I recently read a story called Blind Date by that clearly demonstrates what I'm talking about:
---
"Sorry, babe," she says to me as she pulls out her phone. Her grin tells me she's not actually sorry. "Gotta take this." She pokes the phone. "Lou! What's up? ...What do you mean why am I not at the bar? I'm on a date!" She winks at me. "Of course I put it on the calendar. It's not my fault you're blind. Yeah, I know this is our busiest night, but you can handle it. Uh-huh. Calm down, Lou! Just tell the asshole to make an appointment like a normal vendor. What? Yeah, I know. Uh-huh. For crying out loud, I know! I own the fucking bar, of course I know!"
---
The way this is handled, we have an idea what's going on, but it's still kind of mysterious what the problem actually is. It feels natural, like we really are eavesdropping on the conversation.
Advertisement
This is when the person we are watching (who is on the phone) reveals practically nothing during the phone conversation. Like all we hear is "uh-huh" or "yeah, okay." Like maybe they're being lectured at or something. Then after they hang up, they can tell us what it was all about. I'll demonstrate:
---
I watched as Jane frowned at her phone.
"What is it?" I whispered, like whispering my question wasn't actually interrupting her phone call.
She held up a hand to shush me.
I crossed my arms and waited.
"But why?" she whined at the phone. "Don't you think--" She sat down. "Uh-huh. Okay, I get it. Yes! I get it! Geez!" She ended the call and threw the phone to the other couch.
"What happened?"
She fixed me with an unhappy stare. "Mom says you're a bad influence on me, and I can't go."
---
If you really want the POV character to be privy to the entire conversation, then you can always have the person with the phone put the call on speaker. Or if you prefer more eavesdropping than sharing, the person on the other end of the call can just be a naturally loud talker. I know people with loud booming voices who are easily heard everywhere they go, even through closed doors. Their voices just carry without trying. I don't think those people have indoor voices.
Regardless of which conversation style you choose, remember to leave cues here and there to remind the reader that it's a phone conversation.
Advertisement
- In Serial138 Chapters
Damien Nightshade The Villainous Vampire
Vampires are creatures of the night that fulfil their desires from dusk till dawn. Inhabiting the dark caves of the Kazimir mountains, the other races mostly disregard the unintelligent bloodthirsty creatures. Damien Nightshade, third in line to the vampire throne, a descendant of an S rank existence, is ostracized by his siblings and forced to leave the comfort of the caves. How will this germaphobic, lazy, bloodthirsty vampire fit within the human realm? This is Damien's dilemma as he finds himself transmigrated as a vampire inside a familiar room, one belonging to a Villain in the popular VR game "Throne and Awakening". Damien considers himself a veteran of the game; he knew the game's storyline better than anyone with five years of experience and thousands of hours. Yet the internet wouldn't agree with him. A true veteran must complete the game as the character "Damien Nightshade", the vampire prince hated by all living existences. After five failed attempts, Damien still has never completed the storyline while playing this character. Will Damien be able to survive this time with knowledge of future events? But he will have to adapt quickly as the world's rules have changed, as it becomes more than just a simple game. But first, maybe he should deal with his maid, who silently plots his murder while he sleeps. Read chapters ahead on Patreon This tale is set in a magical world with a heavy emphasises on Kingdom Building, Twisted Nobles, and Gruelling Politics with sprinkles of Magic, Mystery, and the occasional Action Scene. Throne and Awakening is a world packed with danger around every corner, join Damien as he attempts to navigate this terrifying world with knowledge he should not possess and atypical powers that have no business belonging to a Vampire.
8 471 - In Serial28 Chapters
Damsel of Distress
Victoria Bright is a Wife. No, she isn't married. "Wife" is the Class the system gave her. She has to fight Demons to get stronger? Then she will become the strongest Wife of all! She can only learn Fashion and Household Skills? No one said you can't fight in High-heels! The gods made her best friend a Hero? First, she has to beat some sense into him for betraying his own beliefs. Accompany her as she survives in a dangerous world, a world that has secrets even the gods don't know about. __________________________________________ Warning!!The second half of "The Wave 07: The System" and the first half of "The Wave 08: Heroes and Knights" contain a lot of exposition that most other stories would consider "secrets of the world" that those stories would uncover over the course of a long time. There are two reasons this is revealed so early and directly. One: Not revealing that information quickly and not asking questions about it would be completely OoC for the characters involved in that scene. Two: It's information you, the reader, need to know before the main story can really get started. Namely, the "secrets not even the gods know about".
8 331 - In Serial9 Chapters
Erika's musings
Erika: "My name is Erika Tempest. I'm a beautiful and talented enchantress that is trying to rebuild her magic shop after it was destroyed by Ilomathians."
8 98 - In Serial50 Chapters
The Other Granger- COMPLETED
Elaine Granger: a name no one took the time to know. That all will change when she discovers who she really is.
8 172 - In Serial9 Chapters
BlackClover OneShots[Requests Closed]
A collection of ideas that I came up with or that people request I will do lemons and any ship that you request or idea I do not promise my writing is any good but I hope you enjoy none the less
8 165 - In Serial11 Chapters
Manberg (Fundy x Dream)
Some of the story will be part of what happened in the actual L'manberg. It might be spoilers if you did not watch some of the videos.
8 154

