《How to Write Stories People Will Love》Question 37: Phone conversations
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asks: How do I write a phone conversation?
How a phone conversation is handled depends on the point of view we are in. If the POV character is the one on the phone, then it's easy to treat it like any other conversation. You would put the dialogue in quotation marks as usual. It would also be helpful to drop in reminders that this person is on the phone, like shifting the phone to the other ear during the conversation, or pulling the phone away when the other person is shouting.
It gets trickier when someone else is on the phone. When the POV character is not party to the conversation, they only hear one side. There are different ways to handle this.
The trick here is to have the person that we can hear say things that help us understand what the conversation is about, but not like they're strangely paraphrasing the other person. I recently read a story called Blind Date by that clearly demonstrates what I'm talking about:
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"Sorry, babe," she says to me as she pulls out her phone. Her grin tells me she's not actually sorry. "Gotta take this." She pokes the phone. "Lou! What's up? ...What do you mean why am I not at the bar? I'm on a date!" She winks at me. "Of course I put it on the calendar. It's not my fault you're blind. Yeah, I know this is our busiest night, but you can handle it. Uh-huh. Calm down, Lou! Just tell the asshole to make an appointment like a normal vendor. What? Yeah, I know. Uh-huh. For crying out loud, I know! I own the fucking bar, of course I know!"
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The way this is handled, we have an idea what's going on, but it's still kind of mysterious what the problem actually is. It feels natural, like we really are eavesdropping on the conversation.
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This is when the person we are watching (who is on the phone) reveals practically nothing during the phone conversation. Like all we hear is "uh-huh" or "yeah, okay." Like maybe they're being lectured at or something. Then after they hang up, they can tell us what it was all about. I'll demonstrate:
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I watched as Jane frowned at her phone.
"What is it?" I whispered, like whispering my question wasn't actually interrupting her phone call.
She held up a hand to shush me.
I crossed my arms and waited.
"But why?" she whined at the phone. "Don't you think--" She sat down. "Uh-huh. Okay, I get it. Yes! I get it! Geez!" She ended the call and threw the phone to the other couch.
"What happened?"
She fixed me with an unhappy stare. "Mom says you're a bad influence on me, and I can't go."
---
If you really want the POV character to be privy to the entire conversation, then you can always have the person with the phone put the call on speaker. Or if you prefer more eavesdropping than sharing, the person on the other end of the call can just be a naturally loud talker. I know people with loud booming voices who are easily heard everywhere they go, even through closed doors. Their voices just carry without trying. I don't think those people have indoor voices.
Regardless of which conversation style you choose, remember to leave cues here and there to remind the reader that it's a phone conversation.
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