I wipe a tear from my cheek, with my knees pressed into my chest. I'm looking out the window in my room at the city, it's a bay window...always loved those. Everything has just been so hard for the past three weeks. Ever since Jay broke up with me I've been a complete mess. Not that I'd let him know that but it still hurts. He's probably doing fine without me as I sit here in pain, watching the rain fall harshly outside my bedroom window.

Memories, well more like flashbacks, flashed through my head of the two of us and how happy we were. It confused me why he would want to break up when I thought we were doing fine. All the "I love you's" just seem so empty now.

Flashback

Semi loud laughs escapes my mouth as Jay spun me around in the darkness of his kitchen, the only source of light coming from the moon shining in through the window. He chuckles when seeing how happy he saw me. He has been working late every night this week and wanted to make it up to me with a surprise date night.

He made us dinner then we started dancing around the kitchen while music plays from his phone. My heart started beating quickly when he spun me around then pulled my body tightly into his. Our faces were inches apart as he looks down at my lips. We've been together for four years but my heart always beats fast for him.

Without any warning he crashed his lips onto mine in a heated kiss. Happily, I kissed him back as my arms wrapped around his neck. His hands are gripping tightly onto my waist. Nothing seems important right now, other than us and this moment right here.

End of flashback

I could feel more tears stream down my face and tried wiping those away too. All that's left of him at this point is the ghost of what we were. I've never felt heartbreak like this before and I've been through breakups before. Something is different about Jay. He makes me happy and laugh every time we were together. Now there's just a hole in my chest were he used to be.

I suck in a sharp breath when there's a knock at my front door. It's loud and consistent. Rolling my eyes at whoever it is, I get up and answer the door. To my surprise it's Will Halstead. Jay's brother. "Hey," I mumble while wiping my cheeks. "What are you doing here?"

"I need you to come with me. Ever since the breakup Jay has been out of control. He's at Molly's right now trying to drunk fight everyone that crosses his path." Will tells me.

I frown but nod and go with him to the bar where we see a drunk Jay, just like he said. I sigh and walk over to him. As soon as our eyes meet, his go sad. "Why are you here?" He asks, his voice darker than his facial expression.

"Let me take you home." I suggest and he shakes his head no. "Jay please." My eyes plead with him. He gives in and I take him home where he immediately collapse into his couch. "Goodnight Jay and don't try fighting guys half your size anymore." I glare.

He calls my name as I start heading to the front door. My whole body slowly turns and faces him. "Please stay, just for tonight." He begs. I felt hesitant but reluctantly agreed. He slept on the couch and I took the bed.

The next morning after waking up I made some coffee knowing he would want some. Half an hour later he wakes up and I hand him some coffee with an aspirin. He thanks me and takes it. Cautiously I sit next to him.

"Do you remember last night?" I ask. He shrugs his shoulder while sitting his cup down and rubbing his eyes.

"Sort of. I remember you taking me home and me asking you to stay." He says. After that it was silence for a while. It started to get uncomfortable until he spoke again. "Listen y/n, I owe you the truth of why I broke up with you."

"What do you mean? You told me it wasn't working out anymore." I frown.

"I lied." He admitted. "I had to go undercover as the boyfriend of a...of a sex worker and it felt wrong to do that while also being with you. It felt like cheating. I'm sorry. I know that I should have talked to you about it but this is my job and i-" he stopped when seeing my confused face.

"Your right, you should have talked to me. I understand what you do for a living and I wouldn't have been angry with you but...Jay you lied. You put me through hell for weeks on a lie!" I began to feel my anger building and calmed myself. There is no need for a fight.

"I know y/n and I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I miss you so much. I...I love you."

I sigh and stand to my feet. He stands too and looks at me worriedly. "I love you too, more than anything but I need time first. Just to think." I say. He nods and tells me to take all the time I need. And I do as I walk out of the door and think about our relationship and how much I love him.