I woke up in my bed, the first thing I felt was an arm over my chest under the covers. After Kelly left and Jay and I kissed we had both come to my room and well...had some fun. I smiled to myself remembering our time last night. I didn't want to wake him up so I slowly lifted his arm off me and made my way to the shower.

I came out with a towel wrapped around me and Jay was still in bed except now he was awake. "Morning." He smiled.

"Morning." I smiled back.

"Can we go for round two?" He asked me.

I laughed. "We have to go to work," I told him getting closer to the bed.

He reached for me, grabbed me, and pulled me next to him on the bed. He gave me a kiss "Voight gave us the day off yesterday." he told me.

"Mmm." I hummed. "So you just wanna stay here all day?"

"Wouldn't be the worst thing." He smirked, leaning back down to kiss me.

____

We had now showered...again. And we were going out to have some breakfast. I was still hurting about Nadia but I had to say that Jay's company was really helping with grieving, not only because he helped me keep my mind off things but because he knew not to ask if I was ok every second.

We decided to go to a coffee shop near my apartment. We walked hand in hand to breakfast. We ate and Jay made us laugh, sharing funny stories and telling me a little bit about his family.

"Have you seen your dad?" I asked him after he had finished another story.

His smile dropped slightly. "No, not in a long time." He replied.

"It's none of my business but I think you should visit him..."I gave him my opinion.

"Maybe one day." He forced a smile then gave me a kiss on my forehead.

His phone then rang. "Hello?" He answered. "She what?" He asked. "Ok, I'll see what I can do." He finished and hung up.

"Is everything alright?" I asked him.

"Uhmm...Erin quit, she's gone off clubbing, Alvin called asking if I could talk to her so-" He started explaining.

I didn't want to sound insensitive but this was exactly what I knew would happen, and why I was afraid of starting anything with Jay. I sighed. "I see." I interrupted him trying to sound neutral.

"Look this doesn't mean anything I just-" He sat down next to me again.

"You just need to go save her...again...I get it." I pulled out some cash from my purse and dropped it on the table then I tried to get up but Jay stopped me.

"No. Look, she's still my friend and I have to at least see if I can help her...but I want this to work, I want us to work." He tried explaining himself.

"Jay, this is my fault. I was the one who kissed you last night, I told you to talk to me once you were ready and you obviously aren't so it's ok...I just want to get home now." I told him calmly shoving him lightly so I could get out of the booth.

"y/n please"

"Jay, please stop. I'm not mad. I just...I..." I wasn't sure what to say. "I can't do this right now. But go help her...honestly, I'm fine, we're fine." I tried to force a smile while walking out of the café. I turned and Jay was sitting back down with his head between his hands frustrated.

I took out my phone and dialed Kelly.

"Hey Bear, you alright?" he picked up.

"Yep, I was wondering if I could come to the firehouse? or if you wanted to come over? I-" I was gonna explain myself.

"No need to explain I'm on my way." He said and then hanging up.

I walked back to my apartment and went upstairs thinking about breakfast. I knew that it wasn't Jay's fault for wanting to help Erin, I mean he was right, they were still friends and no matter what happened he cared for her. My issue came in the fact that it always seemed to be Jay solving Erin's problems and some part of me couldn't help but feel she did these things on purpose, knowing that he would always run back to help her.

I was sitting on the couch swimming in my own thoughts when I heard a knock at the door. "It's me, Kelly." I heard his muffled voice from the opposite side of the door.

"Come in, it's open," I shouted back.

He opened the door and came to sit with me on the couch straight away. He said nothing and simply smiled at me. "So?" he said after a few seconds.

"Jay and I might have slept together last night." I smiled slightly.

"Oh...Alright." His smile grew bigger.

"But just before I called you we were having breakfast and Alvin called Jay because Erin quit and she's back to her old habits." I started explaining.

"And he said he was going to find her?" I had talked to him about this before so he knew what I was afraid of.

"Yep. He tried reassuring me that it meant nothing but I told him I couldn't do this right now and left." I explained.

"Well, if he's as smart as you've told me I'm sure he'll realize he's making a mistake." He tried to comfort me.

I smiled at him. "I mean is he though? I feel like I'm the bad guy here."

"Y/n it's perfectly ok for you to feel like this. Look I hope Erin will find her way back but she has to learn how to deal with traumas differently, she can't always rely on others to pull her out of a bad situation. She makes the same mistakes over and over again, You grew up without a mom or a dad but you learned from your mistakes." Kelly talked to me.

"Mhmm, I guess you have a point." I smiled.

"How are you about Nadia?" He then asked me.

My smile dropped slightly. "It still hurts obviously." I started tearing up. "Still can't help but feel like it should've been me." I let a few tears fall. "But I know she would've wanted me to carry on so that's what I'm trying to do. I think that's a good way to honor her." I wiped my tears.

"I think she would be proud of how you're handling things." Kelly lifted his hand up to wipe my tears.

I then heard another knock at the door. I got up to answer it. I opened it and saw Kim, Sean, Antonio, and Adam.

"Woah, hi guys, come in," I told them all still wiping a few tears away.

"Hey, sis." Adam hugged me before lifting up a pack of beers. "We brought these." He smiled.

Kim, Antonio, Sean, and Adam greeted Kelly. "Aren't you guys supposed to be on shift?" I asked them.

"Hank told us to leave early, said he would take care of anything that came up," Antonio told me.

"We thought Jay was here?" Kim asked.

"Uhmm, he went to find Erin," I told them all.

"Well, his loss, we're having fun tonight," Sean told me passing me a beer.

"To Nadia." I lifted my beer after everyone had one.

"To Nadia!" Everyone replied after me taking a sip from their beers.

After everyone began chatting I went over to sit next to Adam. "Hey, thank you for being there for me in New York," I whispered to him.

"Always Sis." He kissed my cheek and brought his arm around my shoulder giving me a side hug.

About an hour and a half later there was another knock at the door, Antonio was closest so he opened the door. Jay was standing there, he was surprised to see everyone.

"Ayyy!" The guys were happy to see him there pulling him in and shoving a beer into his hand as he sat down on the couch.

He turned to look at me and I gave him a faint smile, he did the same but I could see he had something on his mind.

That night no one got drunk but we had fun sharing stories of work, of Nadia, making each other laugh. The whole night though I could feel Jay's gaze on me, despite this I had fun. It was nice to know we all knew we had a family we could rely on through tough times.