"Alright, do you want strawberries or mangos in your smoothie?" Oliver asked as Logan sat at the table, resting his cheek in his hand. It'd been a week of this and it wasn't getting any easier. Oliver helped prepare his meals because Logan had a hard time not just throwing things away. His eating had to be monitored to make sure he actually did eat. At least he had more energy than before. He wasn't sure exactly how much he weighed, he wouldn't be weighed for another couple days, but he knew when he left the hospital he'd gotten down to something like 75 pounds.

"Strawberries." He said, messing with his sweater sleeve. He didn't want to think about it, but he had to. "How many?" He asked quietly. Oliver dumped a handful into the mix, starting the blender.

"Take your vitamins." Oliver said and Logan glanced down at the glass of water and small pile of pills in front of him: supplements and his new medication. His anti-depressants had been changed, it was helping a little being on them, the doctor said it would work better after a few weeks. He swallowed the pills one at a time with water. Oliver took out a glass, pouring the smoothie into it, setting down the plate of avocado toast (260), almonds (200), and a small bowl of yogurt (100). Logan glanced up at his boyfriend. It was the same battle every meal. Logan could tell Oliver was getting a bit annoyed with Logan constantly being stubborn about it.

"I'm not really that hungry." Logan said softly and Oliver rested his palm on the table, taking a bite of his own toast.

"Eat anyway." Oliver said, glancing at him over another bite and Logan touched the glass, not wanting to pick it up.

"Gluttony is a sin, you know."

"Well it's good we're not Christian then, isn't it? Do you want a straw for that?" Oliver asked and Logan just nodded a bit. Oliver walked over to one of the drawers in the kitchen, picking out a yellow straw, walking back over and sticking it into the smoothie. "Now drink it, I'm not getting yelled at by your dads because I didn't make you eat." He said and Logan took a hesitant sip. It didn't taste bad and he was dying to eat something, he just didn't want it.

Logan slowly worked through his breakfast, glancing over at Oliver every now and then. Obviously things had changed since the start of Logan's recovery, things had become more difficult between them, though that conversation with Jace still etched at Logan and he hadn't talked to Oliver about it, it was just a sort of distrust and anger that had grown and now he couldn't even take it out on himself so he just had to live with it and bottle it up.

"You're meeting with your doctor tomorrow for another check in, right?" Oliver asked and Logan nodded.

"Yeah, every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday." Logan said and Oliver nodded. "I'm getting my stitches out tomorrow, though."

"That's good. How's catching back up on homework going?"

"Good." Logan said softly. "I'll have a couple tests to take when I get back."

"What do you want to do today after breakfast?" Oliver asked. Logan shrugged a bit, glancing away. Half his breakfast was eaten, he'd have to finish it before he got up.

"Could we just like..hang out, I don't really want to go anywhere." Logan said softly. He didn't want anyone to see him, he felt bloated and disgusting and couldn't stop thinking about the comments he'd get from everyone else. They'll know you're fat, everyone will know.

"Of course we can." Oliver said with a small smile, gently tapping Logan's plate. "How about we play a game of Monopoly after you finish?"

"Or we could just play Monopoly now."

"Logan."

"Fine." He said softly, going back to eating his food.

---

They spent the day mostly the same as every other day. They played a board game, watched a show, did a bit of homework, and then had lunch. About an hour after lunch they were laid on the couch, Logan cuddled up in Oliver's arms.

"Are we okay?" Oliver asked after a long period of silence. Logan looked up at him.

"What do you mean?" Oliver sat up a bit and Logan shift his position slightly.

"I mean, doesn't something feel..off between us to you?" Oliver asked and Logan shrugged.

"All relationships have problems." Logan said softly.

"Yeah, but what are they?" Oliver asked, looking down at him. "Are you mad at me for some reason? I know I've been making you eat, but you have to get better, I'm just trying to help you get better-"

"It's not that." Logan said, his voice quiet.

"Then what?"

"It's just like.." He shrugged, biting his lip. "It's nothing."

"Well now I know it's something. Come on, bear, we need to talk about things."

"It's really nothing." Logan said and sighed when Oliver gave him a knowing look. "It's..it's just that, I mean, it's not even a big deal or anything, I just overreacted I guess, I'm not even that mad about it anymore- I mean, not mad, just like, kinda upset-" Liar "It's just that like, I was talking to Jace, and he said he'd wanted to apologize because he felt bad about it after you told him stuff about me, like about my childhood and shit." He said and Oliver sat for a moment.

"I didn't know you weren't okay with me telling him." Oliver said softly.

"W-Well it seemed kind of obvious, I mean, I wouldn't tell all my friends about your dad."

"Like you also wouldn't tell all your friends that I'm gay?" Oliver asked with a raised eyebrow and Logan didn't know what to say to that, because he hadn't really thought about it at the time, and he knew he'd made a promise not to tell anyone...but Ivy and Sy and Tyler weren't just people, they were his friends, he'd been excited after finding out.

"I guess I didn't really think you'd care." Logan said.

"Well I asked you not to tell anyone, and you told me you wouldn't."

"But..but they're not the same."

"Aren't they?" Oliver asked and Logan knew Oliver had every right to be just as mad at him as he was at Oliver.

"But you..you told Jace." Logan said, feeling slightly deflated.

"Your friends disliked me, they could have used that information against me if they wanted." Oliver said, crossing his arms.

"But they wouldn't-"

"But I didn't know that."

"So what, I'm just not allowed to be mad then?"

"I didn't say that, I just think we both have things to apologize for."

"But yours was worse, it's not like I went blabbing about your childhood trauma to a person who'd abused you." Logan said, sounding defensive about it and Oliver nodded.

"Logan, I'm sorry. I didn't know it'd matter so much to you, I know now I shouldn't have done it, I was trying to defend you at the time but I should have just told Jace to fuck off." Oliver said and Logan sat, just staring at him for a moment, not sure what to say. He wanted to keep being mad, to blow up at Oliver and storm out and feel justified about it, but he couldn't.

"I-I..I don't- what am I supposed to say to that?" Logan asked, not knowing what to do about any of it. He couldn't take it out on himself, he couldn't take it out on Oliver, so he sat there on the brink of tears, his fingers balled into fists.

"You could forgive me." Oliver said softly.

"I don't want to."

"You don't have to."

"Why do you have to be so fucking nice to me? I'm mad at you, I just said I wouldn't accept your apology, why aren't you upset?!" Logan asked, his voice raising slightly as a tear slipped down his cheek and Oliver reached up to wipe it off but Logan shoved his hand away.

"Hey, hey, I know it's a lot right now, but you need to take a deep breath and talk about this, this is what happens when you bottle it up, you need to-"

"Don't tell me what to do, I don't need to talk about it or take a deep breath, it's your fault."

"Bear, I apologized, what more do you want me to do."

"I don't know." Logan said in a whimper, sniffling as tears rolled off his cheeks and Oliver pulled him closer as Logan hid his face in his boyfriend's chest, hating to feel so weak, but it was so comforting having the feeling of Oliver's hand against his back, gently rubbing circles in his skin.

"I'm so sorry, bear, I never meant to hurt you." Oliver said close to Logan's ear. "but we need to talk about this so we can avoid it happening again." He said and Logan glanced up at him with teary eyes. If there was anyone who was good at getting him to talk, it was Oliver, but it still seemed impossible sometimes. "Why didn't you tell me after it happened?"

"I-I didn't know how to.." He said, playing with his sleeves. "I thought I couldn't trust you anymore." He said and it sounded stupid now that he was saying it out loud, that he'd lose his trust for Oliver over something like that, but it was true.

"If it makes you feel better, I'll promise to try my best to never do that again." Oliver said, gently cupping Logan's face.

"I'm also sorry I outted you." Logan said softly, looking away from Oliver. "I guess I didn't think you'd care if it was just the group, I mean, I knew they'd be supportive and I was just so excited after I found out you could possibly like me back that I told them and I didn't think about it, I'm sorry." Logan said.

"You liked me back then?" Oliver asked with a small smile and Logan nodded.

"Well yeah, I mean, you're you." Logan said with a giggle and Oliver grinned.

"You're adorable and I forgive you."

"Were you mad at me for it all this time?"

"No, I let it go after a few weeks, it's was just a bit..offputting, I guess."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Logan asked and Oliver sat for a moment, seeming to think about his answer for a long time.

"Well, the thing is." He sighed softly. "You just..sometimes you do this thing where instead of taking blame you justify your way out of situations and it kind of makes it hard to criticize you because you just deflect it. I would have told you, but I didn't want to drive a wedge in our friendship when we were only getting to know eachother again." Oliver said and Logan wasn't sure what to say. He's wrong, he just wants to hurt you, why are you still listening to him?

"But I..I always try my best, it's not like I want to hurt people, I never tried to hurt you or Sy or anyone, I just want to keep everyone happy. It's not like I had a great example of how to treat people growing up."

"What about your dads?"

"They're different."

"Logan, you can't blame everything on your trauma." Oliver said too quickly and they both sat for a moment. "Look, I just mean you went through awful shit with your parents and with Jace, but that's not an excuse to hurt yourself or other people, you need to learn to express your emotions in a healthy way and be okay being in the wrong sometimes." He continued and Logan was a bit unsure of how to feel, he thought over Oliver's words for a moment and all he felt was complete and utter guilt. He looked up at his boyfriend, his eyes wide and teary.

"I'm so sorry, Oli." He said in a whisper. "I've been awful to you." He laid his head on Oliver's shoulder.

"You don't have to hate yourself because of this, I just want you to grow and be the best you can." He said softly, stroking through Logan's hair. "I want what's best for you and I know for a fact you hurting yourself and beating yourself up is not what's best for you." He said, tilting Logan's chin up to make him look at him.

"I love you." Logan said softly with a small smile.

"I know." Oliver said with a cocky grin and Logan laughed.

"Oh fuck you." Logan said playfully.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's the other way around."

"You're such a dick." Logan laughed and Oliver kissed his nose.

"I love you too, my cute little teddy bear."

"I'm not cute." Logan said with a slight pout and Oliver began peppering kisses all over his face. "Oli!"

"Shush, I'm not done." Oliver said with a grin before continuing, kissing all over his face, his nose, his cheeks and forehead, and finally his lips.