A/N: Hey, look at me writing 2 chapters in 1 day. I wanted to write this one right away. I went with It's Alright by Mother Mother, it's a beautiful song, check it out. Also, just a disclaimer, this chapter might be triggering to you, I tried to make the actual event pretty vague and short for that reason, but you can skip the chapter if you need to, it talks a lot about suicide and I don't want anyone being put in a bad place because of it. That being said, enjoy the chapter and have a great night or day.

Logan wasn't sure what he was doing, what he was going to do. He paced around his room for a few minutes, his head felt foggy and scattered. He thought maybe he could call Oliver. You think he'd back you up? Really? He's against you just like everyone else. He wants you gone. There was nobody else who knew, nobody to tell or talk to.

He slid down against his bedroom wall, balling his fingers into fists, his head hitting against the wall quiet enough to not be heard. He needed a way out of this. He couldn't run away, they'd find him, he didn't know how to live on his own anyway, he couldn't go to Oliver's house, he couldn't go to Ivy's house, her mom would call his dads. There was nowhere to go or hide, he was trapped.

He bit his lip, looking to his bookshelf. He got up, searching through books, trying to find the one he'd hid his razor in, finally stopping when he flipped through the pages and saw the glimmer of metal. He grabbed it, tossing the book to the ground, rushing to the bathroom, closing the door and getting in the shower. He wasn't really thinking he wanted to kill himself, he just needed to calm down, he needed to feel better, there was too much going on and as much as he'd worked to stay clean, he needed this.

His hands were shaking but the blade felt so cool and familiar in his grip, so controlled. What happened next was a blur, once he'd started he couldn't seem to stop until he realized how light-headed he felt and he turned off the water, trying to stop the excessive bleeding but it wouldn't stop and he let out a shaky breath, realizing how terrified he was. He couldn't die yet, he didn't want to die yet. It'd destroy his dads. What would happen to Oliver? Would his friends be okay? He couldn't think straight, his head felt fuzzy and heavy, he couldn't get up. He took a breath, wiping a tear off his cheek.

---

Matthew sighed, running his fingers through his hair. It'd been a long day, he'd planned to come home late but had dropped work to deal with the current situation. When he'd heard that Logan had been collecting pills, meaning he obviously hadn't been taking them, he'd been concerned, but nothing could have prepared him for the moment he flipped through the journal and saw the weeks and months of numbers listed. He knew he hadn't been paying very close attention to Logan's eating habits, but he didn't know he should have been. He spent so much time sitting at the table, flipping journal pages, wondering what he could've done about any of it. Then Allen had come home and they'd talked about it, coming to the conclusion that Logan should be sent back to therapy or hospitalized because it'd worked the first time, well, he thought it'd worked the first time.

He drank his tea, setting his glasses on the table to rub his eyes. He had no idea how to fix this, how to keep his son safe. Leaving it alone and letting Logan deal with it by himself like he seemed to want to wasn't an option, he needed real help.

The door opened and Allen walked in, seeing Matthew and the empty chair next to him.

"Where's Logan?" He asked and Matthew looked up at him, looking exhausted.

"He went upstairs to get ready for bed." He said softly and Allen's face fell.

"You let him be up there alone?" Allen asked and it seemed to register to Matthew and he got up, but Allen was already running upstairs, throwing Logan's bedroom door open, trying to force the bathroom door open, calling Logan's name. "Call 911." He said to Matthew who pulled out his phone, typing in the number quickly.

"Hello, what's your emergency?"

"Hi, I-I think my son tried to kill himself, he's locked in the bathroom and he's not responding, he has a history of self harm-"

"Where are you?"

"9386 Foxdrive road, L-Lakeview." Matthew said, trying to get his words out though he felt like he couldn't breathe.

Allen finally got the door open, his breath catching for a moment when he saw Logan, but he quickly wrapped him in a towel, picking him up.

"How soon can you be here? We got the door open." Matthew asked, voice strained, holding back a sob when he saw Logan.

"Two minutes. Is your son still awake?"

Matthew glanced at the boy lifeless and limp in Allen's arms.

"No."

"Okay, take him out to the driveway if you can, we'll want to get him in the ambulance as soon as possible."

"Thank you." Matthew whispered, sniffling.

---

It was about ten minutes later when they'd gotten to the hospital and were asked to stay in the waiting room. Matthew sat on the plastic chair, his face dropping into his hands as he finally let himself cry and Allen gently pulled him into a hug.

"Hey, he's gonna be okay." Allen said softly and Matthew pulled closer to him, his breathing stuttered.

"I-I could've do-ne something, h-he could be dead b-because of me." He said, glancing up at Allen whose eyes were soft and pained.

"It's not's your fault, Matt, you didn't know, I'm sorry if I made you feel like it was." He said, gently kissing his head and Matthew led his head fall to his husband's shoulder.

"I'm scared, Allen."

"He's going to wake up, then the hospital will know where to send him, he'll get better again."

"He said he doesn't want to be hospitalized, he said it didn't help the first time."

"What are we supposed to do then? It's not like we can watch him constantly, we don't have the time."

"Well maybe we should make the time, Logan's been starving himself for months and we didn't even notice."

"That's not our fault-"

"We could have been there for him, we could have at least fucking noticed, but we didn't, Al, we let him stop going to therapy and we trusted him when he told us he'd eaten even though he looks like a goddamn skeleton. We are not going to just send him off if he doesn't want to be, we can find another way." He said and Allen looked at him, nodding a bit.

"You're right." He said after a moment. "You're right, we should be home more, whether that means one of us taking off more or configuring time into the schedule, we need to find time to be with him more than we have been." Allen said and Matthew seemed content with that answer, resting his head back on his shoulder. "Well get through this."

"I know." Matthew said softly, staring at the floor for a while. "Do you remember when we met him for the first time at the center? He was sitting there in the corner playing by himelf but he looked so happy, and then they brought him over and he was shy but so excited too." Matthew said softly, sniffling.

"And when we tried to leave and he was scared that he was going to have to leave his stuffed animal behind because it technically belonged to the orphanage so I said we'd get him a hundred of them and his eyes went wide as saucers." Allen said quietly with a sad chuckle.

"Oh my god, after his first day of school when he came out to the car practically bouncing up and down telling us about all his new friends and what he'd learned." Matthew said, holding Allen's hand.

"Didn't he bring Oliver over the next week?" Allen asked and Matthew nodded.

"They were always so cute together. You're gonna owe me fifty dollars when Oliver proposes to him." Matthew said with a giggle and Allen rolled his eyes with a small smile.

"Matt, we're married, we have the same money."

"A bet's a bet, Allen. I'm going to spend it on a spa day." Matthew said, then his smile faded just a bit. "If he makes it out of here." He said softly and Allen shook his head.

"Don't say that." He said. "Have you called Oliver to tell him yet?"

"Not yet, I want to wait for Logan to be stabilized first, I don't want him taking off work and waiting here if he won't be able to see Logan." Matthew said and Allen nodded.

---

It was another hour before a doctor came out to the waiting room and Matthew's hands were shaking, he wanted to cover his ears up and stay in a state of just hoping forever. Coming to a point where they'd have to hear whether Logan was actually okay or not, it was terrifying.

"As you probably guessed, he's lost a lot of blood, but at the moment we have him stabilized and bandaged up and he hasn't woken up yet, but it looks like he's going to pull through." The doctor said and they sighed in relief, Matthew felt a tear slip down his cheek, quickly wiping it away.

"So he's okay?"

"Yes, he is. But he's extremely malnourished, has he been eating?" The doctor asked and Matthew took a breath.

"Well, he eats very little, he's always been like that, but..it was tonight we found out how serious it was and tried to address it with him. I think he has some kind of eating disorder." Matthew said and the doctor nodded.

"I'd like to have some tests done, some more bloodwork and bone density and a few others to figure out his general state of health."

"Can we see him now?" Matthew asked and the doctor nodded.

"That should be fine." He said and Allen was already dialing Oliver's number.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Oliver?"

"Oh yeah, hi Mr Peirce, what's up?"

"You might want to come to the lakeview general hospital, Logan's stabilized but he hasn't woken up yet."

"What happened?" Oliver asked, the worry clear in his voice. Allen took a breath.

"He..made an attempt earlier this evening, he'll be fine, the doctor said he's very likely to wake up and recover just fine, but he's going to want you there when he wakes up."

Oliver was silent for a long time. "I'll be there in five minutes."

---

Oliver finally found Logan's room, opening the door quietly to see Matthew and Allen sitting in chairs beside the bed, Allen with an arm around him.

Logan was dressed in a thin hospital gown, his arms thickly bandaged, he looked so weak and Oliver could barely look at him laying there looking almost dead. He could have been dead. Oliver let out a soft sigh, gently moving a lock of hair away from Logan's face, kissing his forehead.

"Did the doctor say when he'll wake up?" Oliver asked.

"Anywhere from a few hours to a couple days." Allen said and Oliver nodded, sitting down and running his fingers through his hair. "Are you alright?"

"Well I just found out my boyfriend tried to kill himself so I don't know, you tell me." Oliver said, glancing over at the man and then looked to the floor.

"He'll be okay."

"What about when he wakes up?" Oliver asked, looking at him again. "He hasn't been okay for a long time, what, suddenly he's going to wake up and be peachy keen and happy?"

"We're going to change some things." Allen said, glancing at Matthew who was now asleep on his shoulder. "He needs support and we haven't been able to give that to him as much as we'd like, but it shouldn't be your responsibility." Allen said and Oliver nodded, his hands folded, thumbs tapping against eachother, biting his lip to keep from crying.

"I don't know what to do for him." Oliver said.

"You've done more than enough for him, you've given him someone to rely on, things to get excited about, there's nothing you could have done better." Allen said, but Oliver knew that was wrong. He could have told them, he didn't, he let Logan keep his secret even if it was killing him, Oliver let it go on.

"If you'd like to go home and get some rest I can call you when he wakes up." Allen said and Oliver shook his head.

"I think I'd like to stay here."