A/N: It's your friendly neighborhood cactus back at it again bringing you your inconsistent dose of sad gay shit. I know I said this would be out yesterday, but I finished it at 3 am and didn't have any brain space left to edit it, then I didn't have any time today until now. I chose Dizzy by Missio, it's a great song, give it a go if you haven't heard it before and I'd say give Missio a shot as a whole because it's a great band. Alright, without further ado, enjoy this chapter.

Logan barely slept Thursay night, and he'd barely eaten anything for the past week leading up to the art contest. He didn't know why he was so stressed, it was just an art contest, and the odds were that he'd end up losing it anyways. He didn't really think he'd be any better than most of the other contestants, but whatever, Oliver wanted him to do it so he'd try anyways.

He'd finished the painting late Thursday night and he loved it, he was proud of it. He liked that feeling, knowing something he'd made was good, even if he couldn't call himself an artist, he could call something he'd made art. There was a part of him that didn't want anyone to see it, it was too obvious, too raw to show the world, or the little art museum that was hosting the contest anyways.

He got out of bed, running his fingers through his knotted curls. He couldn't believe he could be so stressed so early and still have to go to school. He just wanted to spend his time curled up, stressing, and probably sitting in a state somewhere between non-existing and existing. He shouldn't have been as anxious as he was, but he was always anxious for no reason anyways, what was the difference?

The redhead threw on a long sleeve shirt and a yellow hoodie over another sweater. He was always cold, it didn't matter much what he wore, and he wasn't sure whether to feel proud of himself for being so strong or hate himself for being this way. He picked up his pack of cigarettes and swore under his breath when he realized it was empty. He pulled on his jeans and left himself a mental note to go to the gas station before the contest. He couldn't buy them himself, but usually there was someone willing to pick him up a pack if he'd just forgotten his ID and offered to pay them for it.

He grabbed his phone and stuffed it into his hoodie pocket, dropping a pill from the prescribed bottle into the jar that would be slid back under his bed next to his journal. He grabbed his backpack and walked downstairs to get to the bus stop a few minutes early.

---

When lunch came, Logan didn't have any reason to sit in the library and hide from Sy any longer because the painting was finished, so he went through the lunch line and walked over to his usual table with all the hesitance of a boy entering a space he didn't feel he belonged anymore, clutching the tray like it was the only thing that would keep him from falling through the scuffed linoleum floor.

"Can I sit here?" He asked, looking at Sy who glanced back at the boy, setting down his sandwhich. Logan knew if Sy didn't want him there, he wouldn't feel comfortable staying even if everyone else did want him.

"Yeah, whatever." Sy said, taking a long sip of his soda. Logan nodded and sat down next to Ivy who was smiling a little.

"Thanks." He said quietly and Sy took a bite of his sandwich.

"Oh, hey, Mrs. Abernathy said we're going to start having rehearsals Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays until 5 after school now that we're only a month away from the opening, starting next week." Ivy said and Logan nodded.

"Yeah, the set painting is almost done, I'll just need another couple weeks to get done with the Queen's court room." Logan said, trying to suppress a smile as he saw Oliver walk in and sit down next to Grace.

"I think we're going to have an excellent production this year." Tyler said.

"Assuming you can get the mics to work." Ivy said with a little grin.

"We have new ones ordered, they'll be here and set up by the opening."

"I just hope I remember all my lines." Ivy said, taking a bite of her salad.

"Oh please, you're going to do amazing." Grace said. "And nobody would be able to tell anyways, they'll all be too focused on how adorable you look in that blue dress." Ivy giggled at the comment.

Logan spent most of lunch playing with his salad, taking sips of his water, almost as quiet as Sy was.

---

Logan quietly set his painting up on the wall where his name was. His hands were shaking and he couldn't get them to stop. He felt naked with his painting hung up there on display under his name, everyone would know he painted it, and while he wouldn't want anyone else to take the credit for it, it felt too personal, too open, like a secret that he was blasting to anyone who would listen.

The watercolored painting was a skeleton, flowers growing mostly from the middle of it's ribs and abdomen but also reaching down to it's legs, through and around the bones of it's arms, the skeleton pulling out the vines and flowers in a panic, desperate to be empty, a snake curled in one eye-socket and out the other, coming to rest on the skeleton's shoulder, the snake being black with white, blind eyes. Flowers bordered the canvas and tried to surround the skeleton. Simply titled: Disordered By Nature.

He didn't know how to explain it, he just knew that it hurt, but it also felt relieving in a way. He wasn't sure whether the enemy was the snake or the flowers. He wanted to run away, but his family and friends were going to be there soon. He wondered if Sy would come, maybe if he saw it he would understand, maybe that wouldn't even matter. He didn't want his dads to see it, or Oliver, or Ivy, he wasn't ready to go back to worrying everyone again, but maybe they wouldn't think it was anything more than a skeleton, maybe he could tell them it was a commentary on society.

"Hey! I'm early, I know, I just wanted to see it before everyone else." Oliver said and Logan couldn't help but smile a little at that. He anxiously played with his sleeve and stepped aside a bit so Oliver could see it. It wasn't a huge canvas, but it wasn't small either.

"It's kind of messy and confusing, I know, I just-"

"No, this is..wow." Oliver said, and Logan's heart skipped a beat at how surprised and amazed Oliver sounded. He blushed and Oliver stared at it for a long time before looking at the redhead. "It's beautiful." Oliver said and Logan shrugged with a little shy smile.

"Thanks." He said and Oliver chuckled quietly.

"You still good with going to the overlook after you win this thing?" Oliver asked and Logan nodded, nearly beaming. All he wanted was to be laying next to Oliver talking and laughing and maybe he'd even eat a hotdog without the bun.

"Yeah, my dads said it would be okay as long as we're not like, drinking or doing drugs or anything." He said and Oliver smiled, shaking his head.

"They probably don't have to worry about that, I gave up drinking with friends a few months ago, it never ended well." Oliver said and Logan wondered when he'd started drinking.

"What happened?" He asked and Oliver seemed to consider the question for a minute.

"I'll tell you later." He said and Logan nodded.

Logan's dads, Ivy, Grace, and Ty came in with the crowd, but it wasn't long before Logan saw them and he stepped a bit closer to Oliver, glancing from them to the painting as if he wasn't sure whether it was acceptable or not.

"Logan, this is amazing, absolutely gorgeous, I love the flowers." Matthew commented and Logan smiled as Ivy stood there like a proud mom and Grace stared at it for a few minutes

"I should have dragged Sy along for this." Ty said, looking to Logan with a little smile.

"It's okay, I don't want him to be here if he doesn't want to be." Logan said, clutching his arm and Ty nodded.

"That's understandable...I'm sorry about what happened between you two, I never heard your side, but he won't stay mad forever, he never does." Ty said.

Anxiously, Logan watched the four judges walk around the room with their clipboards, writing a score for each contestant. He wanted to puke, or run, or die, but he just played with his sleeves, digging his nails into his palms hard.

He felt Oliver take his hand and noticed just then that everyone else had walked off to go check out other artworks. He could feel his best friends rough palm against his, and Oliver gave him a small smile.

"You alright?" He asked and Logan took a breath before he nodded. Was he okay? What is okay? Probably wanting to die isn't.

"I'm good." Liar. Oliver still kept his hand and Logan didn't want to pull away. He loved how Oliver's hand felt against his, how warm his skin was and how comforting he always seemed to be.

"It's going to be at least an hour before they announce the winner, how about we go look at some of the other paintings?" Oliver suggested and Logan looked at his painting like it'd run away if he didn't protect it. He thought about it for a minute before he nodded, walking around the room with Oliver, glancing over all of the work around him. There were a few other watercolor paintings and many good candidates for the winning spot. He felt almost as at home as he did at the art shop, looking at all the creations made by people different from him but much the same, people who understood his love of art.

He stopped at an oil painting of a girl curled up in the corner of a small room, a wolf staring her down with hatred, the wolf's shadow a tall man. His eyes flickered over the details. Oliver gently squeezed his hand after a moment and Logan moved his gaze away from it to look at other pictures. He wondered who'd painted the girl.

"Hey, check this one out." Oliver said with a little smile, referring to a beautiful landscape with a few trees and a sunset over the waters.

"This is what happens when you grow up on Bob Ross tutorials." Logan said with a little giggle and Oliver chuckled.

"Have you ever tried landscape?"

"Yeah, I used to love doing landscapes, I guess it just didn't end up being my thing. I still like doing plants though, flowers especially."

"Really, I couldn't tell." Oliver said in a tease and Logan laughed quietly, rolling his eyes.

"Come on, let's go look at the one over there."

---

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen, the judges have picked three winners, each can come up and collect their ribbon when they are called." The host, a grey haired man with wired silver glasses, announced. Logan pulled Oliver back to his painting, taking his hand out of Oliver's to play with his hoodie sleeves. There was a ball of tightening strings somewhere in his stomach, he could hardly breathe as the host held up the ribbon for the third place.

"Alice Clark with Perfect Home for third place." He announced and a girl walked up, smiling brightly as she held the ribbon up and then walked to the side of the stage.

"We have Nat Simmons with In the Details for second place." He said and a girl with short green hair walked up, smiling a bit as she took her ribbon and walked to the side next to the other girl.

"And finally, for first place..Logan Pierce with Disordered by Nature." Logan just stared for a moment, not quite believing it.

Oliver leaned down to his ear, whispering quietly. "I knew you could do it, Bear." Logan smiled brightly as he glanced to Oliver and he walked up to take the first place ribbon.

"Good job to everyone who participated, this concludes the contest, the museum closes promptly at 10, you have four hours, prizes will be emailed to the winners and in the case of a scholarship, arrangements will be made over the phone."

Logan walked off stage, his hands still shaking as he held onto the ribbon.

"I...can't believe I won.." He said quietly and Allen hugged him.

"Logan, we're all so proud of you." He said and Logan could feel his eyes filling with tears, though he wasn't sad.

"I would've been pissed if you didn't win." Ivy said and Grace nodded.

"There was so much emotion in it, I'm not surprised it got picked." Grace said.

"I told you so." Ty said in a matter of fact way and Logan laughed, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

"I love you guys, thank you for coming." Logan said, playing with his sleeve.

"I had a blast coming here, seeing all the art, getting to see what you've been working on. Thank you, sweetie, for inviting us." Matthew said. "Are you sure you're going to be okay away for the night?" Matthew asked and Logan smiled.

"Yeah, dad, I'll be fine-"

"You're going away for the night?" Ivy asked and Logan blushed, pulling his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah, Oliver and I are going camping." He said and Oliver nodded. Ivy gave him a little knowing smiled and he just shook his head with his own small smile.

"Speaking of, I'd like to head out while there's still some light out so we can start a fire." Oliver said and Logan nodded.

"Yeah, let's go."