I'm bringing back Mother Mother because I love them honestly, the entire Very Good Bad Thing album is a hit. Also, to anyone who's going to bring up Oh Ana by them which is perfect for this book, I have a lot of songs that I'm just waiting to use for the right chapter, so it'll be used at some point, don't worry. Alright, enough rambling, enjoy this chapter and have a good week.

The next day, Logan brought Oliver's jacket to school with him. He thought it'd be weird to wear it, so he just carried it folded up in his arms as he got on the bus. Ivy was, of course, curious about it.

"Why do you have Oliver's jacket?" She asked almost the moment after they'd exchanged their usual morning greetings. Logan smiled a little, remembering sitting on the dock with Oliver.

"We hung out for a bit after the open mic finished, and we talked for a long time, and then I got cold and I tried to refuse it, but he said he was too warm, which was definitely bullshit, but it was nice anyway..and then I forgot to give it back." Logan said, he knew he was rambling, but he couldn't shut up about it, and he could hardly keep from smiling and giggling like an idiot the whole way through it.

"That's literally adorable, I ship it." Ivy said, giggling quietly and Logan laughed.

"You can't ship real people, it's rude." He said, not being serious, at least, not about him and Oliver.

"Well, I'm sorry, it's already done, I've shipped it, that's an irreversible action."

"Well, reverse it anyways." Logan said with a laugh and she crossed her arms with a grin, shaking her head.

"No can do, you guys would be perfect together and everyone knows it." She said, poking his nose and Logan smiled, turning a light pink and rolling his eyes.

"Whatever, maybe he'll ask me out or something someday." He said and Ivy smiled even more.

"Or you could ask him out."

"But what if he rejects me? Then I'd never be able to face him again."

"Okay, 1. He won't and 2. You would, it'd just be a bit awkward for a little while." She said and Logan shrugged a bit before picking up his backpack and Oliver's jacket as the bus was coming to a stop.

He didn't tell Ivy about the camping trip, not because he was scared of what she'd say or because he didn't trust her, but simply because he kind of just wanted it to be a secret, not the bad kind that festered into a ball of self-hatred and guilt and fear, but the nice kind that stayed shared between two or three people to keep whatever made the secret a lovely thing, because it'd all be ruined if the knowledge of that secret was too commonly known.

He walked into school and straight to Oliver's locker of which he'd known the code since he was a freshman and memorized it so he could sometimes put presents in his best friend's locker, but of course, he never did get to do that after that summer before freshman year. He was about to unlock it when Oliver walked up to him and he spun around with a little smile, his face turning red.

"Logan Pierce, are you breaking into my locker?" He asked with a little smile, leaning against his locker, one eyebrow cocked, and Logan looked up at him a bit sheepishly, giggling quietly.

"Well, I didn't see you, so I was just going to put this back." He said, holding out the jacket and Oliver took it with a smile.

"You know, I would tell you to keep it, because it definitely looks better on you, but it is my only jacket and even with the employee discount, it was still like- a hundred bucks, so thank you for unstealing my jacket."

"Is unstealing the new returning." Logan asked with a little grin.

"Yes, I have decided this just now."

"We need to start using that now."

"We do indeed." Oliver said, pushing off his locker and adjusting his backpack. "You wanna head to English?"

"Sure." Logan said and they chatted about the latest reading assignment, All Quiet on the Western Front, while they made their way halfway across the school to get to the English room. Logan wondered why they hadn't walked to English class before, but he was happy they were doing it now anyways. He could imagine them walking together everyday, holding hands and interlocking fingers so it might not be broken before they reached their destination and would have to part. He shoved the thoughts out of his head, reminding himself that they weren't together. but maybe one day they would be.

He hated that he'd so recently broken up with Sy and he already wanted to be in a relationship with Oliver. He wanted nothing more than to spend all of his time with Oliver, cuddling and kissing, and to be called his boyfriend, but..he'd never wanted that with Syrus, which only made him feel all the worse. He couldn't make himself love Syrus, but he still only wanted the best for him even if it probably didn't seem like it to Sy.

---

"Hey, I thought you'd be here, still working on your painting?" Oliver asked as Logan looked up from the canvas and smiled. He'd been having lunch in the library again.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I was just wondering if you had your History textbook, I just realized I forgot to do the textbook reading and I left mine at home." Oliver explained and Logan nodded, rummaging through his backpack until he found it, handing it to Oliver.

"It's chapter 10, it's really just about the American revolution."

"Oh, cool. Alright, I'll head back, I know you don't like people hanging around when you're working." Oliver said and Logan bit his lip, glancing to his painting and then shrugged.

"You can..stay if you want." He said and Oliver smiled.

"Okay." He said with a soft chuckle, setting his backpack down and walking over to look at the painting curiously. "That's really coming along, huh?"

It was about half-finished, the skeleton was nearly finished aside from some shading, and the snake was partly done along with a few of the flowers near the edges.

"Yeah, after I have a solid idea, I'm a pretty fast painter, especially with watercolor." He said, dipping a small brush into the dark purple paint for one of the darker highlights on the snake's head.

"I don't think I even need to see the other competing pieces to say you're going to blow this competition out of the water." Oliver said and Logan smiled a little, turning a bright pink.

"You don't know that yet, I bet everyone's going to have art just as good, and maybe the judges will think it's a cliche concept or they just won't like, maybe one of them will have a preference against the medium, or maybe it just won't be good enough anyways. I know it's a cliche to have a skeleton with flowers, and the only thing separating it from every other painting like it is the meaning." Logan said almost absentmindedly, painting the scales of the snake individually, leaving space for the white highlights across it's back.

"So what's the meaning then?" Oliver asked and Logan pulled the brush away from the canvas, biting the inside of his cheek hard.

"It's kind of hard to explain, which means the judges probably won't care, because what's the point of meaning if even the artist can't explain it?" He said with a shrug, looking over the canvas, taking a breath. "Shit, maybe I should have used gouache for the skeleton to make it stand out."

"Hey, don't stress about it, it looks amazing and it's best to keep going instead of getting hung up on small details." Oliver said and Logan nodded.

"But what if those small details are what cause me to lose the whole competition?"

"So what? You didn't want to do the competition in the first place." Oliver said, his voice calming Logan's inner turmoil. The redhead nodded a little.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I don't even need the scholarship, I guess I just want to..to prove that I'm good enough." Logan said, sighing softly as he dipped his clean brush into a light pink to color the petals of one of the flowers on the edge of the canvas.

"Bear, everyone knows you're an amazing artist-"

"But it's not even about that, it's so much more than just art, art is the only thing I feel like I'm good at and if I'm not even good at this then I'm just nothing." Logan said before he could think about what he was saying. He wanted to take his words back the second he saw Oliver's eyes soften.

"Logan.." He started and Logan just looked away, picking his brush back up and washing it off, dipping it back into the black to work on one of the snake scales.

"Don't do that, don't pity me." he said almost coldly as he continued on painting and he heard Oliver sigh.

"I just care about you"

"I know." He said, and he knew then that he couldn't date Oliver, because Oliver cared about him, and he didn't know how to accept that, he didn't know how to be loved. "I'm sorry." He said quietly, as if Oliver could hear his thoughts.

"You don't have to apologize."

"I know, I just wanted to." Logan said and Oliver smiled, ruffling his friend's hair and Logan couldn't help but crack a tiny smile, then looking to his watch. "Oh, I've gotta go, I need to get this to my locker before lunch ends so nobody bumps into it." He said and Oliver nodded.

"Mind if I walk you there?" He asked and Logan shook his head, so Oliver picked up his bag and followed Logan to the hall. It was a nice day outside. "It doesn't look like it's going to be too cold out this weekend, I checked and it's possibly going to be in the 50's, so pack warm, but we should be okay to not freeze." Oliver said and Logan nodded.

"I'll remember to only wear four sweaters instead of the previously planned seven." He said with a little grin and Oliver chuckled.

"There'll also be the fire so you won't have to worry too much about being cold most of the time. Are you okay if I only bring one tent? It's pretty big and I'm not sure if I'll have room in my car for another one." Oliver said and Logan nodded.

"I mean, we've shared a bed anyways, what's the difference?" He said with a shrug, setting his painting carefully in his bottom locker that was mostly empty aside from a few crumpled up papers that had been used for sketches which he put behind the painting.

"Also, I was thinking about bringing marshmallows and hot dogs, but if there's something else you want me to bring to eat.."

"I don't really eat marshmallows, but I might be okay with a hot dog." Logan said, giving him a small smile, trying to remember the calories in a hot dog, then leaving himself a mental note to look it up.

"Sounds good." Oliver said. "I've gotta get to study hall, but I'll seeya, bear." Oliver said and Logan smiled, nodding and waving him bye as Oliver walked off.

"He calls you bear? That so fucking cute." Ivy said and Logan almost jumped when he heard her voice as she walked around to her locker.

"Yeah, it's just a nickname." He said with a small smile, taking out his math textbook.

"How did that start?"

"I used to wear this bear onesie all the time when I was like 12, I guess the name just sort of stuck." He said with a shrug. "Not at school, just at home, but he was at my house all the time."

"I love every part of that." She said with a grin and walked off to class with Logan. "I can't believe he hasn't asked you out yet. I'm this close to just going up to him and telling him to take his head out of his ass and ask you on a date already." She said and Logan laughed quietly.

"Don't you dare."

"No promises."