"That concludes today's lecture," The professor declares pulling me out of my empty thoughts.

Everyone rises from their seats around me causing me to sigh before doing the same.

I exit the lecture hall with the group of students before heading back to my apartment.

The walk drags by slowly as I finally enter the cold building.

I hop on the elevator as I click my floor number forcing the elevator to shoot up.

Once it reaches the floor it dings causing me to exit the elevator.

I type in the code on the touch screen lock of the door, causing the it to click.

I push it open as I enter the spacious modern apartment.

I sigh slightly as I enter further into the living area.

Chatter and laughter echo throughout the apartment, and I quickly notice Journee, Eva and Luca all seated at the kitchen island.

I grab a water from the fridge as the room suddenly grows quiet.

I furrow my brows as I turn around from the fridge.

"You can't keep going silent whenever I enter the room. It's weird," I declare.

Ever since the incident in Miami, the dynamic has been off.

I mean I'm not my usual self and I admit that, but their behavior isn't helping.

After that tragic night I haven't felt the same.

I don't feel like me.

I feel like an imposter in my own body.

And I pushed everyone away because of it.

I mean once I got back into town after that night I just randomly decided to move into Journee and I's shared apartment at Duke.

Partially because I didn't want to face anyone.

If I had to face them then I'd have to address the situation. And well... I just- I just can't right now.

Also I wanted to take my mind off of what happened so I used moving as a distraction.

So that day when I arrived home I immediately started packing my stuff up.

I didn't rest. I didn't eat. I didn't take a moment to even breathe.

I just packed as my concerned mother helped me.

She knew I was avoiding what happened, but she let me.

She knew avoiding it was the only thing keeping me sane. Keeping me together.

The group chat was blowing up once everyone got back.

They were concerned considering I left early for Duke.

I just answer with a brief, 'I felt productive so I came early.'

After that, I put the group chat on do not disturb.

I knew I couldn't avoid my friends much longer considering Journee would be moving in a week later, and Luca and Eva would be moving in down the hall from us.

Surprisingly when Journee arrived at Duke for move-in day she didn't mention what happened.

She didn't ask once, "Are you okay?"

Though it was obvious that she wanted to say something.

But I felt thankful anyways. I felt thankful to feel like everything was somewhat normal again.

As of for Jordy.

We haven't talked since the day I left Miami.

I haven't seen her once since that terrible morning.

Apart of me is still avoiding her.

And for some reason, I feel like she's doing the same.

Again I'm not complaining considering seeing her would automatically take me back to that night.

To the dreadful morning after.

To the situation in general.

I think seeing her would be my breaking point.

Seeing her would force me to face everything that I've been trying so hard to avoid for the past few weeks. Everything that I've tried so hard to forget.

It would also remind me of how I disappointed her.

I mean that is why she hasn't contacted me since right? She's disappointed.

"We're just... Worried," Journee says snapping me out of my thoughts.

I sip my water, "There's no reason to be," I shrug and they all narrow their eyes at me.

"Guys I'm fine," I say as I try to make my voice sound somewhat cheerful.

Fine.

There's that word again.

The word that I've used every time someone asks how I'm doing.

It's managed to become a part of my daily vocabulary without even trying.

But I'm not fine.

I'm not even close to it.

But I'll never utter those words aloud.

"Okay well, we should go to the bar near campus tonight," Eva changes the subject, and I instantly thank god for Eva.

Thank god that she knows how to shift the focus.

"I'm down," Luca shrugs as he sips his smoothie.

"I'll go if Bri goes," Journee says smugly.

I know what she's doing.

We've been at Duke for around a month now and I've practically thrown myself into my schoolwork.

I go to school-come back home-then repeat.

I shake my head, "I'm really tired. Maybe next time,"

Journee groans, "You say that every time!"

The idea of going with them passes through my head, but then flashes of the club bathroom in Miami and...

I shake my head quickly, "I really am tired," I add as I quickly exit the room.

I let out a sigh of relief as I enter my bedroom.

I sit my book bag down briefly as I sit on the white bed.

I look at the plain white wall in front of me in boredom.

I never bothered to decorate my room.

All that's in here is a plain white bed with matching white nightstands and a desk.

A knock erupts on my door and I instantly sigh.

I rise from the bed and grab my laptop from my bookbag.

I walk over to the door as I open the laptop.

I swing the door open revealing Journee.

Her concerned eyes hold mine and I briefly turn around as I head to my bed.

"I'm doing school work right now," I lie knowing I just grabbed my laptop.

"Can we talk later?" I hum and Journee's eyes narrow at me.

"Look I know we've been avoiding this topic for a while but-"

"Don't," I snap as I interrupt her.

Her dark eyes widen causing me to briefly shut my eyes as I exhale a long deep breath.

"Don't finish that sentence," I whisper softly and her eyes swell with tears.

"Bri please I'm just worried about you," she says weakly as she wipes her stray tears.

No. No-I don't want to do this right now.

I can't do this right now.

"I told you I'm fine," I say calmly as I push the familiar feelings from that dreadful morning back down.

Journee shakes her head as she frantically walks closer to me, "Please Bri just cry-yell-anything. Just do anything," she begs as she kneels in front of me.

I shake my head quickly as I scoot away from her.

Flashes of Kelsey's blurry face burn in front of my eyes like it's happening right here. Right now.

Stop-Stop.

"I'm fine," I mumble harshly as I push the thoughts away.

I hear Journee sob as she shakes her head in disbelief.

I quickly see Eva's figure enter the room as her soft eyes look from me to Journee.

Eva walks over to the upset girl, "Come on Journee," she whispers as she tries to pull the girl away.

"No, I want her back. I want Bri back!" She sobs into Eva's arms as Eva pulls her out of the room.

Eva briefly shuts the door behind them as I stare blankly at my illuminated laptop.

I take a slow deep breath in before letting it out.

I head over to my desk as I get comfortable in the soft chair.

I then click on my student portal before starting on some assignments.

An hour passes before a knock sounds at my door.

My stomach drops slightly, "Come in," I mumble.

The door opens as Luca walks into the room with a takeout bag.

"We didn't know if you've eaten today so we ordered some food for you," Luca says with a small smile.

I shake my head, "I have,"

Liar.

I yell at myself internally.

But I'm not hungry.

Every time I try to eat I feel like I'm going to throw up.

"But thank you anyway," I reject the food before displaying a warm smile.

He nods in defeat, "Of course Bri," he whispers before leaving the room.

He briefly closes the door behind him leaving me to my schoolwork.

A loud alarm sounds on my phone pulling me out of my sleep.

I rise from the cold white desk in confusion as the laptop displays the assignment I was working on last night.

I groan slightly as my head pounds causing me to search for my phone.

I quickly turn the alarm off before reluctantly getting ready for classes.

"Wow you look like shit," Eva jokes as she sips her coffee at the kitchen island.

"Thanks," I say sarcastically and she purses her lips.

"Bri look..." Her voice turns gentle as she trails off.

Nope, I know where this is going.

I quickly grab a water as I make my way toward the front door, "I'm going to be late for class," I mumble.

Before she can say anything else I exit the apartment.

I sigh in relief as I make my way toward the shiny elevator.

At least I didn't have to face Journee.

Something tells me it's going to be incredibly awkward when I do.

I head to my first lecture quickly as the cold fall air wraps around me like a hug.

I make it to class earlier than I expected as I slump down at my desk.

"At least I'm not the only early one," I hear a warm voice joke.

I turn my head to see a girl sitting her stuff down beside me.

Her beautiful long locs compliment her medium-toned skin.

She flashes me a warm smile causing me to reciprocate it.

"I'm not normally early," I answer smartly and she tilts her head playfully.

Her eyes scan my face, "Oh I know you,"

I don't go anywhere except class and home so I don't see how she would.

I chuckle, "You do?"

She nods with a smile, "You're the quiet girl who doesn't talk or even look at anyone," she says as she stares straight forward.

"See? This is you," she mimics as she stares forward expressionless.

I burst into laughter at the girl's behavior causing her to do the same.

The laughter dies down as she turns to me fully, "I'm Novalie, but you can call me Nova," she introduces herself.

I smile at the girl, "Brielle, but you can call me Bri,"

Her mouth opens slightly but closes quickly as students begin to fill the room all at once.

She sends me one more smile before fully turning to the front of the room.

The clock strikes eight causing the professor to start her lecture.

The lecture blurs by quickly as I find the professor dismissing us.

Nova turns to me, "When's your next class?" she asks as she gathers her things into her bag.

I zip my bookbag, "Not for another hour,"

"Me too. Want to grab a coffee?" she asks and I nod quickly.

I follow her out of the classroom as we walk side by side down the large halls.

"So how do you like Duke so far?" Nova asks and I shrug.

"All I do is go to class and then go home so I guess it's normal," I say honestly and Nova's brown eyes widen.

"So you haven't tried Cloche Coffee yet?" Nova asks in shock and I shake my head shyly.

"Wow, well I'm about to change your life," she remarks and I laugh briefly.

We made small talk as we headed toward the local coffee shop.

I somehow found myself admiring the beautiful trees dressed in red and orange hues.

"What do you major in?" she asks as we walk through the campus.

"Architecture what about you?" I ask.

"Psychology, but yours sounds cooler," she jokes and I shake my head.

"It's not that cool," I laugh and she narrows her dark eyes at me.

"Cooler than mine," she suggests as we walk into the coffee shop.

The deep smell of coffee wraps around me allowing it to calm my senses.

"You grab us a booth and I'll order our drinks," she suggests and I nod.

"What would you like?" she asks as she looks back to the menu.

"Surprise me just make sure it's a fall festive drink," I say with a small smile.

Nova groans slightly, "Are you one of those pumpkin spice lovers?"

I widen my eyes, "Uh no," I defend and her brown eyes widen.

"You so are," she says as a grin slowly forms on her sharp face.

I sigh in defeat, "Okay I am, but more of pumpkin-no spice,"

She chuckles, "It's okay I suppose we can still be friends,"

I make a fake hurt expression, "Suppose?"

"Kidding-kidding," she says as she smiles lightly at me.

I roll my eyes playfully as I walk away from her in search of a booth.

I feel the unfamiliar feeling of happiness tug at my insides.

Nova makes me feel normal again.

Like everything before this... Before Duke.

Never happened.

I'm not the Brielle that got drugged in Miami.

Or the Brielle who everyone's concerned about.

I'm just Bri.

Normal Bri.

Hii everyoneWe have a new character, and she will be a long-term one as well. Her character aesthetic will be down below, also I included an aesthetic at the top of the chapter for the 'college' theme since it is no longer summer in this book. Anyway, my heart goes out to Brielle right now. She's going through it lol. Weekendlustt