"Breathe, I'm right here," Jordy comforts me as her arms are wrapped tightly around me, and I try to steady my breathing. I try to push the beautiful memories of her away, but it only makes my stomach drop further. "Elle talk to me, what's going on?" Jordy asks concern laced in her voice before she pulls away, her brown eyes analyzing mine. 

"I just-" I try to explain, but I cut my sentence short. I don't want to talk about her, especially not to Jordy. What will she think? 

"Elle you can tell me anything, you know that right?" she questions me her eyes still searching mine. I look into her eyes contemplating telling her, but I just can't. I can't find the words, and my stomach twists every time I try to find them. 

"Just say a couple of words that describe what's wrong, and we'll start from there," she suggests gently and my heart lightens causing me to nod at the idea. 

"My ex," I say but it comes out as a whisper and Jordy nods quickly. Her fingers caress the sides of my arms allowing me to feel more comfortable.

Now another word," she encourages me and I take a deep breath before releasing it. 

"The memories" my voice cracks and my fingers pinch the bridge of my nose as I look up to the ceiling to stop the tears from falling. 

"I know that it's hard Elle, but sometimes people don't stay in our lives for a reason," Jordy comforts me before pulling me back into an embrace. Her comforting scent fills my nose as her arms rest on my waist.

I nod agreeing with her statement, and she continues, "Sometimes we deserve better, and if you really think about it; everyone in your life right now most likely won't be in your life ten years from now," she whispers and I shake my head.

"Way to make me feel better," I joke and she chuckles, causing vibrations to radiate through us.

"No, It's not a bad thing Elle, life is all about experiences and just enjoying that you got to live them," she clarifies and I smile to myself. 

That's a good point. 

"So just enjoy the moments you have presently even if you know they won't last," she says, her tone lightening.

"Detach and know that everything will be okay no matter what and that this is life, don't take it all so seriously," she explains before pulling out of the embrace and I nod feeling better. "Besides this world is so big Elle you're gonna meet so many people, so stop worrying about just one" she assures me and my lips pull into a smile. Her chocolate eyes hold mine as my heart rate steadies again, and the anxious feeling in my stomach leaves. 

"Thank you" I whisper and she tilts her head. 

"For?" she questions me, her fingers caressing the sides of my arms. 

"Being here for me," I say softly and she smiles gently at me. 

"I'm always here for you Elle," she says warmly and I nod feeling my heart warm at those words. 

"I feel like you're the only one who really knows me Jor," I admit and her eyebrows raise gently at the nickname.

"I do?" she questions and I nod. 

"Well for starters, Alex told me you knew about me being gay," I say hesitantly causing her eyes to widen. Her body visibly tenses.

"I-uh what all did Alex tell you?" she asks as her hand rubs the back of her neck. 

"Just that she was interested in me and asked you if I liked girls, and you said I did" I inform her before continuing, "Which how did you know that?" I ask her as my dark eyes analyze her and her eyes curiously wander my body. 

"I just knew," she says as her eyes meet mine and I furrow my brows.

"But how?" I ask and she shrugs nonchalantly. 

"The question is why don't your friends know?" she asks calmly and I freeze before looking to the white tile floor beneath my feet. 

"I didn't want to make anyone feel weird," I breathe out and she tilts her head slightly. 

"Or you're scared of being judged," she suggests and my eyes narrow.

Am I scared of being judged? 

No. No. I'm not, Journee would totally accept me. I just don't want to make her feel weird because it might make her uncomfortable. Wait.

 What if I am scared? 

"I just don't want to make Journee uncomfortable, but maybe me being scared of her reaction has halted me from telling her in general" I admit looking back up to Jordy who gives me a comforting smile.

"Look I'm not trying to rush you, I just wanted to put things more into a perspective for you," she says calmly and I nod knowing she wouldn't pressure me into coming out to my best friend. 

"Plus when you drunkenly blurted out that I was pretty, and then blushed it seemed pretty obvious that you weren't straight," she teases and my cheeks warm up as I narrow my eyes at her, causing a laugh to escape her. 

"Well lets talk about how you ignored me for weeks on end, wanna discuss that?" I smart mouth and she stops laughing before her face turns into a serious look. 

"That's probably another discussion for a different time, and we should probably go back down," she suggests and I tilt my head as my eyebrows furrow. I step closer to her slightly causing her to back up slowly.

"Elle what are you doing?" she murmurs using my nickname as her eyes read mine. 

"You know you're the only one who's called me that?" I ask as I inch closer to her and her lips tug upward slightly.

"I am?" she questions as she raises a brow. I nod not uttering another word as I keep moving closer to her. 

I want to see If she feels what I feel, or if it's all in my head. When I asked her why she avoided me her reaction put it all into perspective for me, especially when earlier she said she didn't necessarily want to. At some point, her back is against the tall bathroom door as our chests touch, and our eyes are holding one another. I hesitantly reach my hand up to her arm touching her soft skin before sliding up her arm to her shoulder and landing on the side of her neck. Her eyes flutter shut at my actions causing me to caress the side of her neck, and I hear her breathing quicken. 

I should stop because this was all to prove if my theory was right, but I don't want too. 

"We probably shouldn't," I whisper and her eyes flutter open at my statement searching my brown eyes. 

"Tell me to stop touching you Jor," I whisper as my eyes hold hers, and she licks her lips causing my eyes to avert my gaze to them. 

"What If I don't want you to?" she murmurs and my eyes look back up to hers, seeing that their darker than usual. 

Her hooded eyes look towards my lips, and I suck in a breath. She hesitantly wraps her arms around my waist, settling her hands on my lower back. She leans in closer to me and my eyes flutter shut as our noses touch. 

"We'd be bad people Jor," I whisper, but it almost sounds like I'm trying to convince myself. Our heavy breathing aligns as I feel her soft nose on mine.

"If this makes me a bad person then I don't want to be a good one," her raspy voice says allowing her minty breath to fill my nose. 

"Jor..." I say but it comes out as a plead and her grip tightens around me. 

I allow my other hand to roam from the side of her muscular arm up to the side of her neck before attaching my hands together at the back of her neck. One of her hands moves further down my back to cup my ass causing my stomach to tighten, anxious for a release.

"We can't," I whisper pushing back from her, and her eyebrows furrow, "We can't do this to Journee," I whisper but a loud knock on the door interrupts us, pushing us to opposite ends of the bathroom.

"Hey are you guys in there?" 

I hear Journee's voice say from behind the door that Jordy is pushed up against. We break apart quickly and Jordy mouths "Follow my lead" and I give her a quick nod. I pray that this isn't how Journee finds out that I'm gay. 

Jordy clears her throat slightly before speaking, "Yeah I was just calming Brielle down, since the ex topic upset her," and I hear Journee say a faint aw. 

"Okay well we're all gonna get dry and watch a movie" she suggests and Jordy nods looking at me. 

Maybe I should tell Journee now... 

I have the urge to do it; probably the biggest one I've ever had. Before my doubts swarm my head I'm reaching for the door and twisting the silver doorknob. 

"Actually, Jour could we talk?" I say as my eyes meet hers and her eyebrows furrow at my question, and she looks behind me at Jordy. 

"Sure," she says confused and I nod before following her to her room. 

We enter her room, and I sit on her bed as she picks out some pj's before turning to give me her full attention. 

"So the whole ex topic did trigger me because my ex really hurt me," I say cautiously and 

Journee gives me a sympathetic look before kneeling before me, "I'm so sorry Bri" she says solemnly and I nod quickly. 

"No no you couldn't have known because I never told you" I assure her and she nods before giving me a small smile. 

"But I didn't tell you for a reason," I breathe out nervously and her head tilts slightly. Her hands gently touch the tops of my legs.

"Why not?" she questions sadly and my hand reaches for hers that's resting on my leg. 

"Because well..." I trail off, realizing what I'm about to say. Her hand squeezes mine as her eyes meet mine.

"Bri you can tell me anything" she encourages me and I nod quickly. 

"My ex is a girl,"