Druscilla's muffled scream followed Ashley into the abyss.

She woke on her back atop Mount Dolorem, beneath a purplish-gray sky, ice pummeling her face, wind whistling so loud, her ears throbbed. On the plus side, the Essence d' enfant had made a difference with the effects of the transport spell. She had none of the usual side effects—nausea, feeling of displacement, headache. The bottles she'd stolen remained safely, though uncomfortably, stuffed in her soggy bodice.

Ashley turned on her side, dragged in a breath so cold it seared her lungs, then clamped her hands over her ears to warm them and ward off the wind.

She vowed that the next time she went questing, she'd head for a balmy, island with flat topography, silly cocktails, grass skirts, and fruits so otherworldly and exotic, that one might think they'd been grown on Venus. Surely there were people in need of rescuing in more temperate climes.

But Ashley had no time to dilly dally with rumination: she had a quest in progress, which required several more steps. 1. Ascertain that it was only the voice part of Druscilla that followed them into the abyss. 2. Take a headcount to make sure no child or royal had been left behind in the garden. 3. Destroy the magical circle so they could not be easily followed. 4. Summon Ruth, who would have Gerald and the other men with her. (Ashley refused to think anything bad happened to any of them.) 5. Help the children climb onto Ruth's back. 6. Fly to safety.

She gave a passing thought to number seven: investigate Gerald's arms/chest/other regions in a private setting, but it was premature to plan romantic interludes, at least in any great detail.

Completing step one would require a better vantage point, so Ashley worked her way into a seated position and looked around.

Her heart stuttered.

A hundred yards away, visible despite the onslaught of snow, were her friends, with the added plus of no evil stepsister within view. She'd done it! Odd that she'd overshot the target herself. Perhaps she'd uttered the magical word with a little too much enthusiasm. Magic was not only annoyingly invincible; it was also annoyingly picky.

Derek, Tressa, Kai, and Sadira remained asleep, but Layyin, Derek Junior, and the children were a blur of motion. With the authority of a ship's commander and the energy of a wind tunnel, Layyin had begun work on step two—destroying the circle.

"Over here. We missed a spot," Layyin barked. "Who wants to make the last snow angel?"

"Me!" said a tiny girl, bony knees protruding from her threadbare "clothing." Giggling, she lay on the snow, stretched out her arms and legs and flapped. Ashley wanted to chastise Layyin for using undernourished, underdressed children to destroy the magical circle, but watching them laugh and scream with unbridled freedom gave her pause.

After the little girl finished, the snow angels lined the perimeter of the circle wing-to-wing, exposing remnants of the squiggly runes beneath.

Derek Junior flew around the circle, flaming the rune remnants.

Hilda Mae glanced over at Princess Ashley and waved. "Hi, Princess Ashley!"

Ashley smiled and waved back. "Hi, Hilda Mae."

Layyin put her hands on her hips. "Finally! Here I am doing all the work while everyone else sleeps on the job."

Ashley did not point out that it was the children doing the 'actual' work. "Why didn't you wake us?" Ashley said.

"I tried to wake up Sadira, but that sweet, kind, lovely princess bopped me in the chin before rolling over and snoring super loud."

"Sadira snores?" Ashley said.

"Apparently."

"Can we build that snowman now, Princess Layyin?" Hilda Mae said, obviously bored with the discussion between the grown-ups.

"You earned it," Layyin said, patting Hilda Mae on the shoulder. The kids ran off toward some fresh snow not far away, Derek Junior on their heels.

Ashley rose, trudged through the snowdrift, and hugged Layyin. "You're brilliant, you know?"

Layyin nodded. "Yes, I know. Because of you, Ash."

"What do you mean?"

"You helped me learn to live life to the fullest. Take chances. Not be afraid. Eat gluten. You're my role model. Even if you do oversleep."

"Oh, my gosh, Layyin, I am nobody's role model. I have pretty much messed up everything since we started this crazy adventure."

"What do you mean? We're here. We found the children. We're about to escape the clutches of an evil magician. Your stepsister looked like an overcooked lobster last we saw her. You made this all happen."

"Nope. We did," Ashley said. "We all did. Together. Uh, except for the lobster part. She did that quite on her own." Anyway, no time for compliments. Druscilla may be thwarted for now, but she'll figure out a way to get here if we stay too long. "Any sign of Ruth or the guys?"

"Honestly, I was too focused on wrecking the circle to think about anything else. But now I'm rather ashamed. I should've been more proactive about getting my Terry-poo back."

"That's okay. One step at a time." Ashley blinked up at the sky, hail pelleting her face and eyes, sticking to her lashes. "Ruth!" Ashley cried in Dragon. "Can you hear me?"

The wind picked up, whipping Ashley's hair into her face. Could it have been caused by the beating of dragon wings? Spinning, she tried to peer through the gathering mist for a sign of Ruth and the men.

She had no idea what direction they may have gone or whether they'd flown or walked from here. If there had been claw/footprints, they'd been long covered by the snowfall.

For the first time, Ashley feared for Gerald. Her chest tightened. Would she ever hold him in her arms again? Would she ever see his fine torso?

"Gerald!" she yelled.

"Terrowin!" Layyin added. Then closed her eyes and cupped a hand behind her ear. "He's not far."

"How do you know?"

"I reached out with my feelings and picked up a vibration in the metaphysical plane," Layyin said in an ethereal voice that sounded like the Ever After town hag after she'd had a few too many meads and started telling fortunes to anyone unlucky enough to cross her path. Her predictions were always wrong, but once she gave you one, you had bad luck for seven to ten working days.

"How does that work?" Ashley said. It sounded way too close to magic, which she already knew wasn't her strong suit.

"I was just trying to sound mystical. The truth is, it's only logic. Terry-poo would never go far without me. We have big plans. We're going to open Mattress and Battle-axe World for Underprivileged Children—a playtime haven."

"Is that safe?"

"That's hardly the point."

"Look, Princesses," Hilda Mae called.

The kids had constructed a remarkably-accurate Marveloni-shaped snowman and a pile of snowballs.

"Excellent work, kids," Layyin said.

"Look," said a little boy, lifting a snowball and hurling it at snow-Marvy. The other kids joined in, and Hilda-Mae threw one with such force and accuracy that it caught Marvy hard in the crotch. The children cheered.

It's the little things.

But Snow-Marvy reminded Ashley about Real-Marvy, which caused her adrenaline to spike. They needed to get out. Even if it might be hard for Druscilla to find them without the circle, Ashley had no doubt Marvy would have no such trouble. And it was a reliable theory that Real-Marvy wouldn't be happy about his daughter being roasted. Where was their transport? Where was their dragon? "RUTH!" Ashley thundered so loud, that the ogre community would've been impressed.

Derek popped up. "No need to yell like a unicorn in heat."

The others scrambled awake. "Was that a banshee?" Tressa grumbled.

"I think my ears are bleeding," Kai said. "Are they bleeding? Could someone check?"

"Stop being a baby," Layyin said.

Derek stood, eyes wild as fireworks. "Where's my son?"

"Right behind you. He's fine," Layyin said.

"Derek Junior!" Derek said. "Come to Mommy."

Whoosh, woosh, woosh, said the wind.

But it wasn't the adorable breeze-like woosh you'd expect from the beating of a baby dragon's wings.

Another sound keened across the frozen landscape. "Rawr," came the beautiful cry of a pissed-off dragon.

"What's that? What's going on?" Derek said.

Ashley pursed her lips. "All I can say is you better not tell Ruth you planned on stealing her child. I mean, if you want to live long enough to see this rescue through to the end."

Derek gulped. "Ruth, she's, I mean, she's alive?"

Ashley wanted to tell him, 'I told you so,' but she held back because when you call attention to others' mistakes, you can be assured they will at some point return the favor.

"Rawr," Ruth said, rising straight up from behind the edge of the mountain like a Sikorsky.* There she was, with Gerald, Terrowin, and the guards—their bright red tunics dotted along her back like glazed strawberries atop a strudel. Ruth circled in for a landing, setting down in the center of the destroyed circle.

The kids stopped their snowball assault and pointed at Ruth, their eyes as wide as, well, snowballs. In the meantime, Derek had picked up Derek Junior and tiptoed away from the scene.

Before Ashley could revel in a joyous reunion with Gerald and the others, Ruth caught sight of Derek and roared so loud, it might've caused an avalanche of snow to crush them if they weren't already at the top of the mountain. The dragon continued to telegraph her displeasure by rearing up, then breathing a stream of fire in Derek's direction. The men on her back clutched Ruth's scales and tried not to scream too loud in fear because 1. It wasn't manly. And 2. Never piss off a dragon, especially when you're sitting on her, and she could toss you off and sit on you or flame you or claw you into a million pieces and serve you for breakfast.

The little dragon looked up at Derek. "Who's that scary dragon?"

"Rawr!" Ruth slapped her tail, shooting globs of snow everywhere.

"What's going on?" Gerald said, his voice cracking.

"I'm pretty sure Ruth wants Derek to hand over her offspring," Ashley said.

"Just give Ruth her baby!" Gerald squealed.

Derek sighed. "It's your mom, dearest," he admitted. Not that he had any choice with an eight-thousand-pound fire-breathing female dragon breathing down his neck.

"But you're my mom," Derek Junior said. "I'm a human, not a dragon. All these familial relationships are very confusing, and I'm at a critical emotional stage in my life."

"I shall explain dragon neonatology to you, son," Derek said. "When I'm not being fire-roasted by your bio mom."

"Bio mom?"

"Later, okay? "Go say hi to her. And could you vouch for me? Tell her I'm a nice guy, and not to eat me? Maybe mention that I'd make a terrible meal. Very stringy due to low-fat content." He set the baby dragon onto the snow and pushed his tail end, nudging him toward Ruth.

The little guy flapped his wings like a flustered chicken, turned, and stuck his moist snout between Derek's legs. "Mommy!" he declared.

"Give me back my child, thief," Ruth roared.

"Ashley, can you please ask Ruth to let us down?" Gerald begged, albeit in a very manly tone.

"Ruth, you're scaring the children," Ashley said.

"Rawr!" Ruth sent another stream of fire in Derek's direction.

"Ruthie, don't be angry," Derek said, pushing Derek Junior behind his legs before the stream of flames got to him. Derek had to know that dragon fire wouldn't affect another dragon, but his parental instincts had kicked in. He held his hands in front of his face to protect himself as if this would be enough to fend off the blaze. But here's the surprising thing. When the flames enveloped him, he didn't scream in agony.

Layyin wrinkled her brow. "Doesn't that hurt?" She sounded crestfallen.

"Very odd," Derek said, straightening. "But no. Hardly felt it."

"Hand over Junior," Ruth demanded.

"His name is Derek Junior." Derek cleared his throat. "I mean if it pleaseth the court. I mean the beautiful, sleek, powerful, quite hot (and I mean that literally and figuratively) dragoness." Even if her fire didn't work on Derek, she could still stomp or claw him to death. She had other tools in her killing repertoire.

Ashley translated for the non-Dragon-speaking members of the group.

"Does he have a death wish?" Tressa said out of the side of her mouth.

"He wouldn't be the first one," Kai said, glaring at Layyin.

"I am not pleaseth. Not at all," Ruth snarked, then blasted Derek with some more serious fire.

Yet still, miraculously, Derek did not burn to a crisp. The fire bounced off of him as if he had dragon skin.

"What have you done?" Ruth yelled. "You, lying, cheating, handsome, toad prince!"

"Frog," Derek corrected. "I mean a lot of people confuse them, so no need to feel stupid or anything. But toads have dry, bumpy skin, and frogs are smooth and well-moisturized."

"That matters not, swine. My child hatched and imprinted on you! That's why you're immune to my flames and why we can now speak to one another.

"So, you think I'm handsome?" Derek preened.

"That's not the point, you child-stealing rogue."

"You think I'm a rogue!" Derek puffed out his chest.

"You are impossible."

"Not the first time I've heard that," Derek conceded.

"Hey, could you please let us off? It's hard to stay seated while you're writhing around like a lovesick unicorn. Gerald said. Ashley translated the request for the others leaving out the unicorn part.

"Wusses," Ruth huffed. She settled to the ground in an apparent sulk. "Junior, please come to Mama," Ruth said.

Derek Junior looked up at Derek.

"It's okay; go see her. She won't hurt you."

Derek Junior scuttled over to his bio-mom, who licked his cheek. "Ew, Mom."

"You had something on your cheek." ***

The men disembarked. Layyin and Terrowin slammed into one another and landed in a pile of limbs, giggling.

Ashley and Gerald executed more of the romantic slo-mo reunion. When their bodies met, they had a make-out session so prolonged that your dear author doesn't want to stop the action to tell you the details.

Let it be said that it was one of those "get a room" type situations.

Derek turned as red as a Christmas turnip. "Enough! Too much kissing," he griped. "There are children present. And I, for one, will not stand for the corruption of our youth."

Gerald broke the kiss at last. "That's only because you weren't the one doing the kissing."

Derek puckered his lips. "Is that an invitation?"

Ashley, still breathing hard from her ... uh ... exertions ... rolled her eyes.** "Guys, let's get out of here before our "friends" arrive? Okay? We destroyed the circle, and Druscilla's probably exhausted from expending so much magic earlier. But that doesn't mean we can spare any more time." We have more to worry about than just Druscilla.

"I'll remind you that you were the one making out while the rest of us had to watch," Derek groused.

"Jealous much?" Tressa said.

Ashley decided to stay above the fray. "Ruth, you sure you can manage all of us?"

Ruth snorted. "Do Vikings wear underpants?"

"Uh, no idea. And I don't want to know by what means you know the answer to that question."

The kids backed away from the dragon.

"You want us to what?" Hilda Mae said.

"You're going to fly the dragon," Layyin said. "Isn't that fun?"

"Aren't dragons fire-breathing monsters who believe they ought to eradicate all of humankind for their unjust behavior toward the planet and mother nature in general?" Hilda Mae said.

Ashley knelt beside Hilda Mae. "Dragons are noble and kind, and Ruth wants to help us. You'll be safe. Just hold on tight. And we're coming too, you know?" Ashley said. "Gerald? Terrowin? Can you go up first and help the kids get settled?"

Once the children were seated, Gerald reached down to help Ashley, but the wind whorled, knocking her off her feet. The sky darkened. The misty air quivered and reeked like burnt custard. Ashley's stomach acid curdled.

"We have to go. Immediately," Ashley whispered.

"Now, all of a sudden, you're in a hurry?" Derek scoffed.

"Uh, yeah," Ashley said, pointing to a spot behind Derek. Her eyes grew wider as the sky blackened and the wind whipped into a frenzy. Her hair whorled around her head, snapping like a windsock.

Derek spun around in time to see a vortex of swirly inky dark magic, spinning faster and faster until it coagulated into the one-eyed, beak-nosed, evil, pompously-named magicianThe Marvelous Marveloni. With the grand gesture of a cheap vampire, heswept aside his dragonskin cape and tugged back his frilly sleeves.

You're all dead," he said matter-of-factly.

"Well, that's just not true," Derek said. "Can a dead person do this?" He waggled his middle finger at Marvy.

"Here, take yer weapons, men," Terrowin ordered, tossing the weapons they'd left atop the dragon down to the red-tunicked guards.

The men charged, swords raised for battle. Two of them took positions with the crossbows, aiming down the sights, perfect textbook tactics. Unfortunately, Marveloni had written the textbook, and before the men could fire, he had raised his hands, blasts of black lightning striking the men with crossbows. In an instant, they exploded in a spattering of blood and charred flesh.

Bile rose sharp and acrid in Ashley's throat. The air smelled like BBQ, but not the good kind.

The children screamed.

Oh, wait, that was Ashley screaming. "My men!"

The charging men were catching on to the gruesome fate of their comrades-in-arms. Panic spread through the ranks, but too late. The Magnificent Marveloni seemed determined to show them how horrifically marvelous he was. They would feel his wrath, even if it killed them. When it killed them.

He posed dramatically with each blast, naming them as he went.

"Fireball!"

"Lightning blast!"

"Lightning bolt. That one is similar to the lightning blast but has more of a tingle at the finish. A nuance if you will."

"Power slam!"

"Photon torpedoes!"

With each, the sky glowed the bloodred and the sulfurous odor of dark magic burned Ashley's nose and throat.

"And now the grand finale," he said, going up on his tippy-toes like a dancer. "I call this one dance like puppets. Dead puppets!" He sent a stream of lighting that struck all of the remaining men and forced them to dance while he laughed. Finally, once he'd had his jollies, he blew them up one at a time.

The cacophony of screams from the children was his applause, and he bowed deeply, sponging up the praise.

In summary, I can say with great sadness that the Magnificent Marveloni made short work of the red-tunicked soldiers. I could go into more gruesome detail, dear readers, but I will spare you. That is how thoughtful I am! is how thoughtful I am!

Marvy blew on his fingers as if he was extinguishing a flame. "Anyone else want some? I've got plenty more. But if you don't desire instant death, I suggest no one move."

"Why?" Gerald said, still atop Ruth. "So you can kill us slower? I don't see how that benefits us."

Out of the corner of her eye, Ashley saw movement. One guard had evidently been hiding behind the Marvy snowman and was tiptoeing away. Ashley silently cheered for his escape.