I went home after my talk with James, I knew he didn't only care about my future, there was something else, he liked me, I'm not an idiot, I could see that clearly in his attitude, but I can't, I can't like him, we are not made for each other, we are worlds apart.

I went home, took off my hijab, had some lunch on my own, and I went upstairs to my room to study, this Zayn Ahmed proposal thing didn't allow me to study well in the past days, but after speaking to James, I felt at ease.

My mum came into the room.

" Your brother is here, he wants to speak to you" she said.

" Why?!!" I asked indifferently.

" It's about Zayn" she explained.

" No need to, I'm not marrying him" I said seriously.

My brother suddenly rushed into the room, I didn't know that he was listening to the conversation, he freaked me out.

" What...why?!!" He said.

" I have aspirations after school" I explained.

" What aspirations?!!" He asked.

" I want to go to the university" I said.

" No, that's not the real reason, I know the real reason" he said.

" Oh, really, enlighten me" I said sarcastically.

" Your white boy, James, isn't it?!!!" He said smiling like the devil at me.

I was shocked, I didn't know what to say, how did he know?!!! Did he spy on me at school?!!!

" And that's why exactly you are marrying Zayn " he continued angerily.

" Are you gonna force me?!!!" I said in challenging tone.

" Yes, if I have to" he said sternly.

" No, you can't " I said.

" Do you want to bring disgrace on this family" he said.

" You have already brought disgrace on our family" I said challenging him.

" What did you just say?!!!" He asked angerily.

" You have heard me " I said.

He started approaching me and started putting his hands on my shoulders to fix me in my place, as a way of frightening me.

Then he looked into my eyes.

" Say it again to my face " he said challenging me.

" You have brought disgrace on this family, Hassan, all your partying and addiction, you have let our father down, you have abandoned us, you have left us alone, and if my father were alive today he would have disowned you" I shouted at him.

" Shut up, you are the disgrace, running free with a white boy" he said.

" Allah only knows how much barriers I put between me and him, he is just a friend, a person who stood up for me when you weren't around" I said.

" I don't care, you are marrying Zayn, I'm the man of this house, and I have the final word" he said.

" You are not the man of this house, you have never carried out your responsibilities, where were you when I was bullied at school, where were you when shahd got sick, where were you when my grandma couldn't walk. I hate you, you are dead to me" I said that straight to his face.

My mother tried to calm us down, she knew how stubborn we are, but she was mostly afraid of how crazy my brother could react,

So she stepped between me and him, her back was to me.

" Hassan, you know Jannah, she is stubborn, give me time to convince her" she said.

Hassan pushed my mother, so she fell to the ground, I tried to help her up, but Hassan grabbed my arms.

" You are marrying zayn" he shouted at me.

" No, and let me go" I said in pain.

His hands started to press on my neck firmly to prevent me from speaking.

" You are marrying him, this is the final word" he said in ordering tone.

" No...you...want...to get.....rid of...our.... responsibility...by making...him....the man...of this...house" I was struggling to speak.

I could feel his hands become more constricted around my neck, I couldn't breath properly, I saw my mother screaming at him" let her go" and trying to free my neck, but it was in vain.

I tried to scratch his hand, but I couldn't move a finger of his, I was getting weaker, I needed oxygen, so I spat at his face, and that was the last straw.

The pressure increased on my neck, I couldn't breath at all.

" You will kill your sister" my mother screamed.

" I don't care, she deserves to die" he said, blinded by anger.

Everything began to become blurry, I let go of his hands and surrendered to my fate.

" So this is the end, ya Allah" that was my last thought before everything went black.

I went into the room, not knowing how I could handle what I would see.

She was lying peacefully on the bed surrendering her body to the control of machines and monitors that were peeping around her.

I watched her ribs moving in when they should be moving out, moving out when they should be moving in.

I listened to the hiss of oxygen supplied directly to her lungs through a tube going through her mouth, to the drip of the iv fluid delivered directly to her viens, to the peeping of the cardiac monitor announcing the her heart is till beating, I watched her fighting for her life, refusing to surrender, my beautiful Jannah.

I looked at her neck and I saw her brother's fingerprints.

" She didn't deserve this type of brother" I said to myself.

I wanted so bad to touch her hand, but I thought she wouldn't allow me if she were conscious, so I decided to respect her principals.

I threw my body on a chair next to her bed, put the cassette player on a table near us, and pressed the play button, a beautiful voice came out, I couldn't understand what it was saying, but it had a very calming effect on me.

I put my head on the pillow next to her head, and closed my eyes.

It was the most peaceful moment I had in my life.