•• ••●•• ••

, the ground thawed, and for the very first time, the land around them could truly be described as beautiful. With time, the air felt more crisp than freezing; the snow something to be adored, not something dreadfully inescapable. Still, the landscapes did nothing to soothe their boredom.

Days had passed since they were attacked by the drugged Grisha soldiers. Two or three, Lianna wasn't sure anymore. Matthias and Nina had buried the bodies and returned changed people completely – they didn't fight anymore, rarely even spoke to each other. After all of their insufferably loud arguments, it was strange how annoying the silence devoid of those shouts became. Lianna was sure the endless cycle of waking up at dawn, walking (tripping in the snow and almost getting lost) until dusk, setting up the camp and sleeping until they had to wake up at dawn again would eventually lead her to insanity.

"I wish I had appreciated our card games more," she said. "Winning got boring after the hundredth time, but nothing could be less exciting than this endless walk with our Fjerdan guide."

Jesper and Wylan were walking in silence on either side of her, had been for a while. Somehow, the three of them always managed to end up a little behind the rest, often earning themselves words of disapproval and threats from Kaz, though such words didn't worry Lianna anymore.

"You heard that, Wylan?" Jesper's long arm extended above Lianna's head to pat the other boy. Wylan only grunted in response. "I never would have hoped to live to the day of Lianna Andersen being nice to people out of the blue. Thank the mercilles northern air for making you soft and nostalgic."

"This is exactly why I don't ever compliment you," Lianna answered.

"I feel the same as you, Lianna," Wylan said. "Had I known this would be our reality I would have loved and appreciated every second on Ferolind."

Lianna nodded. "I'd rather go back to looking at the sea all day long and barely catching any sleep at night due to the waves."

"One thing that stayed terrible is the food." Jesper made a gagging noise.

"Saints, I miss pancakes," said Lianna.

"The alcohol," Jesper responded.

"Fresh water," added Wylan.

"Let's all take a moment to think about how glorious our lives had been before Kaz walked into them." Jesper faked wiping a tear away. "And how tragic it is that we'll never again know such simple existence."

"Because we'll die before getting a chance to?" Lianna said.

Jesper looked at her with mock disappointment. "Because we'll go back as millionaires, Lianna. When will our ill fated optimism finally infect you?"

"It's difficult to stay optimistic around men like Kaz. I think demanding that he pays us back for our effort in his portion of the money is only fair," she said.

How much time had passed since the night Kaz came to her for the first time? How long since she had agreed to take the job? It felt like centuries. She looked around, barely registered Jesper's joke and Wylan's deadpan response, noticed Matthias leading the crew far ahead and Nina talking with Inej. After all they've been through, it was difficult to remember they had only met less than a month before. She never would have predicted she'd end up crossing Fjerdan wilderness side by side with people any sensible person would consider bad company.

"This is not the time for gossiping!" Kaz shouted from way ahead. Lianna didn't even notice how far behind she, Jesper and Wylan ended up.

"Saints, since when is he the active type," Lianna muttered. Thank god the sunset is nearing, she thought. If they were to walks hours more, her legs might have given out.

"What a blessing this trip has been so far," Jesper said as they all obediently quickened their pace.

The thing with Kaz was, he never tried to pretend like he was some god sent saviour who appeared to make their lives easier. They all knew he had things to gain from all this, that he was not above doing anything to achieve his goals. There was no point in pretending they would have been noble enough to rely on a leader guided by the goodness of heart.

"It's more of a curse, if you ask me." Lianna slowed her pace once she walked up to Nina and Inej. Jesper snickered in response.

"What curse?" Nina asked.

"What? I didn't say anything." Lianna didn't miss the Seriously? gaze Kaz cast her way. She opted for the easiest change of topic available and pointed ahead, where Matthias was walking alone. "How is it going with the madman?"

From this perspective, Matthias looked like a painting came to life. A tall, unbeatable warrior, alone against the world, bringing glory to his land. What was he thinking about? When and how to finally betray them, probably. Was he hoping Djel would forgive his most devoted son for returning to his homeland only to let the enemy in?

"According to plan, just like everything else," said Kaz.

"Was us getting caught in an explosion also a planned incentive?" Nina questioned.

"Which one do you have in mind, Nina?" Jesper asked, then looked at Wylan. "There's been quite a lot of those lately"

"The one back at the harbour," said Nina.

"I did have another ship ready, didn't I?" Kaz brought a gloved hand up to his temple and tapped it once with his index finger. "Plan."

"Of course, the race to our backup ship," Nina said. "When all the fun began."

"You're saying that as if Jesper and I didn't have a blast running around with murderous animals back in Hellgate," Lianna deadpanned.

"True that, I loved the adrenaline rush," Jesper agreed.

"Did you really? I'd never have guessed." The words earned Lianna a shove from Jesper and a quiet laugh from Inej. It was good to hear it; the Suli girl looked even more exhausted than the rest of them combined.

"I'm glad I wasn't there." Wylan shivered. "From the stories I've heard, the place sounds like hell."

"Well, it is called Hellgate after all," Jesper didn't hesitate to point out.

"Named after hell and yet brought us an angel," Nina remarked. "Matthias, ever the unproblematic ally."

"Helvar is not as unmovable of an object as he'd like to believe," said Kaz. "A little convincing and look how far we've come."

"Some people call it blackmail," Lianna answered.

Kaz's smile was sharp and quick. "It's not blackmail if he was given a choice."

"Follow orders or return to Hellgate, what a mighty choice that is," Jesper said.

"To be fair, Kaz did give him the ticket back home in return," Nina joined in. "So I'd define it as more of a bribe."

"Right, though to be granted freedom he's forced to commit treason first, that kind of complicates things." Jesper cracked his knuckles in a restless tick. "What do you think of the name forced surrender with an award included?"

"Catchy," Lianna jibed.

Kaz huffed dissmisively. "In the end it was a mutual agreement. Anyone can be bought."

The conversation went on, but Lianna zoned out of it. She couldn't not focus on the pain in her back and the more she tried not to think about it, the more uncomfortable her clothing felt. Kaz would probably murder her were she to ask for a break and after the terrible sleep she had that night, Lianna wasn't in the mood to deal with him. Judging by the sun they still had around an hour left until sunset. The last sunset before Djerholm. Hopefully Fjerdans cared about comfortable beds at least half as much as they did about killing Grisha.

The snow crunched in synch with Wylan's quick steps as he struggled to get closer to Lianna. She looked at him expectadly as he was visibly searching for the right words.

"It's one thing to buy someone's loyalty but another to make it last, right?" he said to her, and though Lianna was certain everyone else heard it, no one let it show.

She blinked. "What?"

"Weren't you listening just now?" Wylan questioned.

"No, not really." She scrunched her nose. "This backpack is really uncomfortable, you know."

Wylan stared at her as if he regretted even starting the conversation. "What?"

"Just say outright what you wanted to talk about." Lianna waved her hand. "Before I lose focus on the conversation again."

"I meant Matthias," Wylan responded, a new seriousness to his tone.

He slowed his pace and Lianna followed suit, which led them to disconnecting from the crew again. Lianna looked at Kaz who was already glancing at them with annoyance and Lianna knew it meant something along the lines of I'll kill you both if this slows us down. She rolled her eyes and nodded once. Yes, we'll catch up soon. Maniac.

"I share your worry," she said to Wylan. "Kaz is too proud to admit it and Matthias might be too dense to realise it, but if he at any point chooses Fjerda over us, we've no chance of making it out alive."

It would not be the first time in history when a stupid man was responsible for the collapse of great plans.

"Precisely," the boy answered with relief. "And the way Nina..."

Lianna stopped in her tracks and prodded Wylan's arm. "What does Nina have to do with any of it?"

Wylan raised his hands in defeat. "It's obvious they still care about each other, that's all."

"It doesn't mean she'd betray us for him."

"She could," Wylan insisted.

Lianna furrowed her brows. "You're full of nonsense, Van Eck."

Wylan flinched at the mention of his surname. "I just think we have to be more careful. I know Kaz has it under control, but I don't want to relay on him only."

"Neither do I," Lianna agreed. "But what other choice do we have? We can't just... just kill Matthias, or something. He's crucial to the plan. That's the worst part of all this, that we need him."

"If there's anyone able to stop her from cooperating with Matthias, it's you."

Lianna considered the boy's words for a minute as they began walking again. She wished to believe Nina would never betray them, but as terrifying as it sounded, that was not always the case. If saving Ravka meant treason, Nina was not above that. And jurda parem definitely qualified as a threat to their country.

"Fine," she said at last. "I'll talk to Nina about this."

Wylan nodded and smiled shyly. "You wouldn't actually kill Matthias, right?"

Lianna sighed. "No, Wylan, it was a joke. People make them sometimes."

"It's often hard to tell if you're joking," he answered.

"Well, it's hard to believe you're not joking sometimes," Lianna retorted, raising a brow. "Like when you defend your passion of playing the flute when Jesper teases you about it."

"It's a useful skill," Wylan groaned.

"I'm sure people go crazy over it," she said with a roll of her eyes. "The only time my brother is heard playing the piano is when he has someone over he wants to impress."

Wylan's eyes went wide. "You have a brother?"

"Well, not in the strict sense of the word, I suppose." She shrugged. "There are just other kids that live in Ford's mansion. The oldest one is Cassian, he's the one I just mentioned. He gets annoying, but other than that it's like he has no flaws whatsoever. You'd like him. Then there are the twins, Anton and Andrei, and the youngest one's name is Milana. She's a little peculiar, but all great people in history were considered weird once, right? And then there's me."

When Lianna stopped talking, there was a split second when she worried Wylan would consider this little story of her domestic life too much, but then he said:

"Sounds like you mean a lot to each other."

"If I didn't consider them family, I'd have nothing in Kerch to call mine," Lianna responded.

Wylan went quiet for a bit. Lianna wondered if family was a sensitive subject. Then again, there were thousands more unhappy homes in the world than happy ones. It'd be foolish to assume Wylan's life was a bed of roses just because his father was a rich man.

"I wish I had siblings," Wylan said after a while.

Lianna smiled and patted his shoulder a little awkwardly. "You'd be a good brother."

"And do your brother's tricks work?" Wylan asked suddenly.

"You mean the piano?" Lianna asked, to which he nodded. She gave a brief shrug. "It's not like he needs any tricks, to be honest. People love him unprovoked. Besides, I don't know if you could replicate the effect a piano has with a flute. Flutes are undeniably less romantic."

Wylan scoffed. "Who said anything about trying to replicate it?"

Lianna sent the boy an unimpressed stare with a tilt of her head. Then, she looked at Jesper and back at Wylan. "Doesn't take a genius to figure this one out."

Wylan tried to argue with her and in the end Lianna accepted his explanations, just so they could change the topic.

In the end it took only a little over an hour for them to reach a point Matthias deemed worthy for a camp. Setting up the settlement took some time and effort, mostly on Jesper's part – the boy was surprisingly good at this craft, as it turned out. After the sun went down, with the bonfire keeping them warm, by Nina's suggestion, they played a game Lianna remembered from her days back in Ravka. Everyone was to say two false and one real information about themselves, leaving the rest to guess which one was true. Lianna supposed the game would, by default, have little to no sense, seeing as they were all fiddlers and would serve merely as a way to pass some time, but surprisingly, it ended up bringing them genuine joy.

Matthias and Kaz refused to partake in the activity, which came as a shock to none of them; Wylan, after having been persuaded by Jesper to play, came up with the most riddiculously obvious lies, although they weren't wilder than Jesper's and Inej's truths, all taken from their years lived as criminals from the Barrel. The great lying skills Nina owed to her spy training granted her the victory. Over the course of all the rounds, Lianna learned, amongst other things, that Jesper once captured a living wildcat for Kaz to sell it to a rich, unsuspecting man who was looking for the rarest possible breed of cat to give to his daughter as a pet, and that Wylan used to believe every country in the world was an island similar to Kerch when he was little – the concept of continents shook him greatly when he found out about them.

Not long after setting up the camp they all headed off to sleep, exhausted from the miles they travelled that day. That was how Lianna found herself tossing and turning in the dead silence of the night, unable to fall asleep. She had no way of telling the passage of time, but every waking second brought her closer and closer to the brink of exploding from annoyance. The night before their deciding day, perhaps the most important one of her life, and there she was, sabotaging it. What good was she to them if at the constant risk of passing out from fatigue?

Lianna trashed around again, only to be interrupted.

"Quit it already."

She froze and sat up. Kaz was sitting by the campfire, wide awake and with an unimpressed look on his face.

"I didn't hear you get up," Lianna said instead of adressing his remark. "Are you keeping watch?"

"I congratulate your deducing skills."

She looked around and saw absolutely nothing other than snow. They purposefully chose a path rarely travelled by people and even considering the Grisha soldiers they encountered earlier, there was little to no reason for him to be this wary. Especially when he should be resting well, before the next day's heist, being the mind of the operation and all.

She tapped her fingers on the ground, considering, then at last said: "I can switch with you, in this case. I'm unable to sleep either way, for some reason."

"You're afraid," Kaz answered swiftly, leaning back on the log he was sitting on. "We can all try to mask it with playing silly games and telling jokes, but the truth is that the only emotion we'll know from today until it all ends will be fear."

"Excuse me?" Lianna exclaimed, feeling like something heavy was beginning to weigh her down. "Do you think I'd be here if I were a coward? You think I would have agreed to come here with you?"

"You're actually quite a bit braver than what I had expected. That doesn't make you a rock."

"So you're scared, too, by that logic?"

Kaz's grin spread wide, showing a glimpse of his teeth. "Oh, Lianna, dear. You should know by now that I am a rock, nothing like the rest of you. The only thing I'm truly worried about is that one of you won't be able to handle the pressure and it will cost all of our lives. My money is on Wylan."

Lianna huffed, annoyed by his little speach. "Then you'll lose your money. It's going to be Matthias, if anyone at all."

Kaz huffed a breath that turned into mist in the cold air. "You'll be the deadweight if you don't get enough sleep."

Lianna ignored his remark. She brought her knees up and put her arms on them to rest her chin there. Her eyes were fixed on the flames dancing before her, the burning pieces of wood so much smaller than when she first lay her head on the pillow that night.

"I think my parents wouldn't believe it if someone told them this is how I ended up," she muttered finally.

Kaz didn't respond. She wasn't expecting an answer, but Lianna still glanced up to have a look at his face – it betrayed no emotions. She briefly wondered if mentioning her parents in front of someone she could safely assume was an orphan had been a mistake, but Kaz wasn't the type to hold grudges over such things. The Bastard of the Barell could not possibly be soft enough to break down because of a mere mention of family.

"You will only know for sure if you're there to see their reaction," he said. His cold, methodical gaze caught hers, all ice. "So don't even think about dying. Think about your family, if you must. In moments of panic, remember the people you'd leave behind."

Dumbfounded, she only looked at him in disbelief. At the mention of family, the people who invaded her mind were not her parents, but the kids she lived with back in Ketterdam. If she died in Djerholm, would the information of her passing spread far enough to reach them? And what was it that scared her more – the prospect of Cassian and the rest knowing she left them with lies, or the idea of them never really learning what happened to her here?

"I never would have guessed you the type to give motivational talks," she said at last. "But I return the sentiment, I guess. Don't get yourself killed tomorrow."

The answer never came. And when Lianna finally lay her head on the ground, this time, slumber overtook her with no refusal.

•• ••●•• ••