《SEDATED, kaz brekker》chapter nine

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, Lianna decided after she jumped off the boat upon having reached the shore. The first glimpse of the coast had caught her attention earlier in the afternoon, but Specht had thought to wait until dusk in hopes twilight would lend them some cover. These few extra hours exhausted her.

"Where do you think you're going?" she heard Kaz call.

"Another second on that damned boat and I will pass out and die in my slumber," Lianna responded. Kaz did not grace her with a response after that, but she could guess he shook his head in disbelief, rolled his eyes or made another gesture of disappointment.

"Precisely what I was thinking." Lianna looked back at the ship to see Inej already climbing down from it, with Nina's help. "What a revelation, one can get sick of being seasick."

Nina rolled her eyes playfully as Inej took her final step onto the ground. "If even our ever so patient Wraith has had enough, there is no person in this world who could have taken another second on Ferolind in their stride." The Heartrender took in a deep breath. "Ah, sweet air devoid of salt and the stench of sardines. Shall we walk?"

Lianna nodded and extended her arm for Inej to hold. If the Suli girl was in pain, she hid it well. They didn't dare wander away from the sea – keeping close distance to the water, Inej, Nina and Lianna walked ahead, towards vague shapes of houses sitting on a hill most probably more than two miles away. They wouldn't dare to reach it, but there was no harm in watching from afar.

"So this is it," Lianna said, absentmindedly observing two childlike silhouettes on the hill from behind which more houses were peeking. She thought about whether the kids were siblings, by blood or heart. "No turning back."

"No mourners," Inej mumbled.

"No funerals," Nina responded with no hesitation.

"If I die," Inej said, "I will do so without regrets."

Lianna watched Nina's face fall. It made her angry, though she wasn't sure at what.

"Me too," Lianna said. Somehow, she believed it. "I've done everything I could have, and some unnecessary things, too."

"But that's life, isn't it?" Inej tripped in the snow. "If this kills me, at least I'll die doing something worth doing. At least it's a choice."

"We can't always make good choices," Nina spoke, then. She wasn't talking to either of them in particular – maybe it was a message to herself, to the endless icelands of Fjerda, to the gods who listen and the hopes that remain unknown. But still, her eyes were on Lianna. "We may only make sure not to regret the ones we make."

Lianna furrowed her brows. Oh, Nina. What wouldn't that girl do, if she believed she had the right to do anything? Where was the line between her loyalty and selfishness? They could only hope it wouldn't be discovered at the expanse of their heist. Lianna looked up, stars peeked at them through the clouds and the moon's face appeared forgiving. She wondered who else was looking up at the sky in that moment.

As they reached the ship, hypnotized by starlight, she blurted out, quietly, "I don't want to die."

The girls had disappeared belowdecks by then, and nobody heard her. Still, she hoped somebody listened.

At dawn the next morning, Jesper and Lianna distributed cold weather gear to every crew member. Later, they played cards once more, with Inej this time and Lianna still cheating, and by the time they bid their goodbyes to the ship's crew, the sky had turned from pink to gold.

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"See you in Djerholm harbour," Specht called. "No mourners."

"No funerals," Lianna responded, in consistent chorus with the others. Jesper and Kaz shot her curious glances, but she just shrugged. "It's catchy."

Brekker had been frustratingly tight-lipped about how exactly they were going to reach Bo Yul-Bayur and then get out of the Ice Court with the scientist in tow, but he'd been clear that once they had their prize, the Ferolind was their escape route. It had papers bearing the Kerch seal and indicating that all fees and applications had been made for representatives of the Haanraadt Bay Company to transport furs and goods from Fjerda to Zierfoort, a port city in south Kerch. That had to be enough.

They began the march from the rocky shore up the cliff side. Spring was coming, but ice was still thick on the ground, and it was a tough climb. When they reached the top of the cliff, they stopped to catch their breath. The Ferolind was still visible on the horizon, its sails full of the wind that whipped at their cheeks.

"Saints," said Inej. She didn't elaborate, but Lianna knew what she meant.

"I've spent every minute of every miserable day wishing to be off that ship," said Jesper. "So why do I suddenly miss it?"

"I thought you like the thrill of danger?" Lianna said.

"Suddenly, settling down with a beautiful partner to live the rest of my days in peace seems much more appealing than whatever we're about to go through."

Wylan stamped his boots. "Maybe because it already feels like our feet are going to freeze off."

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. "Let's go."

"That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?" Lianna almost tripped over in the snow.

Jesper consulted his compass, and they turned south, seeking a path that would lead them to the main trading road. "I'm going to pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what the big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone to ..."

"Alright, I think we get it," Lianna said.

They walked further and further into the overwhelming pearly, frosted white of snow, but each of them cast a final backwards glance at the vanishing Ferolind. The schooner was a part of Kerch, a piece of home for them, and that last familiar thing was drifting away with every moment.

Kaz had left his crow's head cane aboard the Ferolind and substituted a less conspicuous walking stick. Jesper had mournfully left behind his prized pearl-handled revolvers in favour of a pair of unornamented guns, and Inej had done the same with her extraordinary set of knives and daggers, keeping only those she could bear to part with when they entered the prison. Lianna noticed Jesper's uneasiness especially – talismans were nothing but regular items granted power of a kind by their owner, but parting with what you believed made you strong was expected to unnerve. Her power was an inherent part of her, losing or getting rid of it would have been painful like having a limb amputated.

"Brekker." No reaction. "Kaz, are you listening?" Lianna jogged up to him. "Won't the Fjerdans realize Nina and I are Grisha?"

"Don't say that out loud," he responded. "Someone might hear."

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"Right! Such a mob of people here, in the wilderness of ice."

Matthias grumbled behind her. "Do you ever stay silent for more than five minutes?"

"Actually, sometimes I take breaks from talking to focus better when I cook Fjerdan childrenfor dinner," she deadpanned.

"Just usual Grisha activity," Nina said, emphasising Grisha with a smile.

Kaz sighed. "No one will know if you're careful," he said. "Which you clearly aren't. Just because you can't see the enemy doesn't mean they're not there."

"Never too careful, are we," Inej muttered. Kaz said nothing more. They were a wonder, these two, and the dance they kept practicing with one another.

Matthias walked ahead of them and was now in the lead, setting the pace, though Jesper kept a steady eye on his compass. "Put your ... The eye ..." Matthias paused and had to gesture to Wylan's googles. "Keep your eyes covered, or you could damage them permanently."

The first day of trekking was the most exhausting – little talk, barely any complaining, but tiredness obviously there. When the sun began to set, they ate their rations of dried beef and hardtack and collapsed into their tents without a word.

The next morning brought an end to the quiet and fragile sense of peace. Now that they were off the ship and away from its crew, Kaz was ready to be insufferable and dig into the details of the plan. First thing in the morning.

"If we get this right, we're going to be in and out of the Ice Court before the Fjerdans ever know their prize scientist is gone," Kaz said as they shouldered their packs and continued to push south. "When we enter the prison, we'll be taken to the holding area beneath the men's and women's cellblocks to await charges. If Matthias is right and the procedures are still the same, the patrols only pass through the holding cells three times a day for head counts. Once we're out of the cells, we should have at least six hours to cross to the embassy, locate Yul-Bayur on the White Island, and get him down to the harbour before they realise anyone is missing."

"What about the other prisoners in the holding cells?" Matthias asked.

"We have that covered. Once we're out of the cells, Matthias and Jesper will secure rope from the stables while Wylan and I get Lianna, Nina and Inej out of the women's holding area. The basement is our meet. That's where the incinerator is, and no one should be in the laundry after the prison shuts down for the night. While Inej makes the climb, Wylan and I scour the laundry for anything he can use for demo. And just in case the Fjerdans decided to stash Bo Yul-Bayur in the prison and make life easy on us, Nina, Matthias, and Lianna and Jesper will search the top level cells."

"Nina and Matthias?" Jesper asked. "Far be it from me to doubt anyone's professionalism, but is that really the ideal pairing?"

"Matthias knows prison procedure, and Nina can handle any guards without a noisy fight. Your job is to keep them from killing each other," Kaz said. "And Lianna's job is to make sure you do yours."

"Lianna and I are perfect partners in crime," Jesper said. Lianna winced at the memory of chaos they created in Hellgate, then in the Fifth Harbour. Maybe they'd set the Ice Court on fire. "But you think I'll be able to handle Nina and Matthias? Because I'm the diplomat of the group?"

"There is no diplomat of the group. Now listen," Kaz said. "The rest of the prison isn't like the holding area. Patrols in the cellblock rotate every two hours, and we don't want to risk anyone sounding an alarm, so be smart. We coordinate everything to the chiming of the Elderclock. We're out of the cells right after six bells, we're up the incinerator and on the roof by eight bells. No exceptions."

"And then what?" asked Wylan. "We cross to the embassy sector roof and get access to the glass bridge through there."

"We'll be on the other side of the checkpoints," said Matthias, a hint of admiration from his voice. "The guards on the bridge will assume we passed through the embassy gate and had our papers scrutinised there."

Wylan frowned. "In prison uniforms?"

"Definitely not," Lianna argued. "Kaz has a plan for that."

"Obviously." Kaz stretched his bad leg.

"Phase two," said Jesper. "The fake."

"That's right," said Kaz. "Inej, Nina, Matthias, and I will borrow a change of clothes from one of the delegations – and a little something extra for our friend Bo Yul-Bayur when we find him – and stroll across the glass bridge. We locate Yul-Bayur and get him back to the embassy. Nina, if there's time, you'll tailor him as much as possible, but as long as we don't trigger any alarms, no one is going to notice one more Shu among the guests."

"So what I'm getting from this," said Jesper, "is that I'm with Wylan and Lianna again."

"Let's hope this goes better than everything up until now," Lianna mused.

"Unless you've suddenly acquired an encyclopedic knowledge of the White Island, the ability to pick locks, scale unscalable walls, or flirt confidential information out of high level officials, you'll work together. Lianna is there to protect the two of you if everything goes south, and I want two sets of hands making bombs."

Jesper looked mournfully at his guns. "Such potential wasted."

Nina crossed her arms. "Let's say this all works. How do we get out?"

"We walk," Kaz said. "That's the beauty of this plan. Remember what I said about guiding the mark's attention? At the embassy gate, all eyes will be focused on guests coming into the Ice Court. People leaving aren't a security risk."

"Then why the bombs?" asked Wylan.

"Precautions. There are seven miles of road between the Ice Court and the harbour. If someone notices Bo Yul-Bayur is missing, we're going to have to cover that territory fast." He drew a line in the snow with his walking stick. "The main road crosses a gorge. We blow the bridge, no one can follow."

Matthias put his head in his hands in despair.

"It's one prisoner, Helvar," said Kaz.

"And a bridge," Wylan put in helpfully.

"And anything we have to blow up in between," added Jesper.

"Perhaps some casualties among the security workers, if we have time," Lianna was more than happy to promise.

"Everyone shut up," Matthias growled.

"I don't like any of this," said Nina.

Kaz raised a brow. "Well, at least you and Helvar found something to agree on."

After collecting the camp, further south they travelled, the coast long gone, the ice broken more and more by slashes of forest, glimpses of black earth and animal tracks, proof of the living world. They passed the time by asking Matthias ceaseless questions.

"How many guard towers are on the White Island again?"

"Do you think Yul-Bayur will be in the palace?"

"There are guard barracks on the White Island. What if he's in the barracks?

Jesper and Wylan debated which kinds of explosives might be assembled from the prison laundry supplies and if they could get their hands on some gunpowder in the embassy sector. Nina tried to help Inej estimate what her pace would have to be to scale the incinerator shaft with enough time to secure the rope and get the others to the top. Lianna kept voicing her doubts, and Kaz kept dismissing them. They drilled each other constantly on the architecture and procedures of the Court, the layout of the ringwall's three gatehouses, each built around a courtyard.

"First checkpoint?"

"Four guards."

"Second checkpoint?"

"Eight guards."

"Ringwall gates?"

"Four when the gate is nonoperational."

"Yellow Protocol?" asked Kaz.

"Sector disturbance," said Inej.

"Red Protocol?"

"Sector breach."

"Black Protocol?"

"We're all doomed?" said Jesper.

"That about covers it," Matthias said, pulling his hood tighter and trudging ahead.

They'd even made him imitate the different patterns of the bells. A necessity and a pleasure, to watch the druskelle chant like a fool, "Bing bong bing bing bong. No, wait, bing bing bong bing bing."

"When I'm rich," Jesper said. "I'm going somewhere I never have to see snow again."

"I'll buy myself a ship, get away from Ketterdam and burn that ship down, and then never look at Kerch or the sea again," Lianna responded.

"I don't know what I'll do exactly." Wylan looked down at his boots.

"I think you should buy a golden piano—"

"Flute."

"And play concerts on a pleasure barge. You can park it in the canal right outside your father's house."

"Nina can sing," Inej put in.

"Why lie like this, Inej," Lianna remarked.

"We'll duet," Nina amended. "Your father will have to move."

Lianna looked at Nina and saw her as if for the first time ever. She arrived in Ketterdam with nothing to nothing, just like Lianna, only Nina didn't have anyone to hold her hand and guide her through its dirty streets. And yet, she managed to find a place for herself, despite all the odds against her, despite the guilt, despite missing home, she adjusted. Because Nina Zenik was a survivor; she always had been. Lianna looked at the other people around her and wondered how exactly Nina had managed to befriend someone as distant on exterior as Inej, gain the trust of someone as cunning as Kaz, and, even before, someone as dense and as selfish and as cruel as Matthias. Jesper was easy to be comfortable around, but the rest of them were like enigmas, and Nina seemed to have the key to every single one.

She could hear her yammering to Inej somewhere behind, trying to teach her Fjerdan words, or whatever else. Would Nina leave the Suli girl behind for a chance to go back to Ravka? And what was Lianna capable of doing? She felt a shift back in the harbour, and it felt like the beginning of the downfall. Like it triggered the last remains of her conscience to fall apart. So long ago it felt like another lifetime, Lianna's mother had taught her all about courage.

"Bravery is for the foolish," the woman had said then. "People base their worth on it, when in the end all that matters is suvival. You live or you die, so thrive or be defeated."

Back then, Lianna would have trusted her mother in anything – after all the time in Ketterdam, she was no longer sure. If worst came to worst, who was she ready to betray to reach her goals, even if it meant to be the last one left standing? She looked at Nina again. She thought of her parents, and of her real family – the ones waiting in Kerch. Her glance slipped from one crewmate to another, from Inej to Kaz to Jesper. Her mind wandered off to Ravka. She was not sure.

"Hringalah?" Inej's loud exclamation shot through the freezing air.

"Better but – here, it's like Kerch is a gazelle. It hops from word to word," Nina pantomimed. "Fjerdan is like gulls, all swoops and dives."

"What are you even saying?" Lianna questioned. She tripped in the snow, but Jesper grabbed her in time and helped her up.

"I agree, it makes no sense. Kerch is a language far too stiff to be a gazelle," Jesper said.

Lianna looked at him, dumbfounded. "Seriously? What do you both mean?"

Nina laughed at the Squaller's remark. Matthias cleared his throat.

Lianna raised an eyebrow at him. "Yes?"

"Do not eat the snow," he counselled. "It will only dehydrate you and lower your body temperature." He plunged forward, eager to be up the next hill with some distance between them.

Jesper and Lianna made knowing eye contact with one another. It communicated two things: One, the Fjerdan was soon to go insane around them (they were fine with that), and two, if the sad little charade were to continue between Nina and Matthias, Jesper and Lianna would not survive working together with them at the Ice Court. Jesper shook his head in mock disappointment, which made Lianna chuckle. She was about to make a witty remark about the northern air getting to some people's heads already, when suddenly the one in question halted dead in his tracks over the raise of snow ahead of them.

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