Endless Bonds Copyright © 2016-2018 xXMopelXx All Rights Reserved.

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A water drop hits the center of my palm.

My eyes fasten on my ceiling. I take a second to really look at the crack. We can get it fixed, but...

I guess it's time to move on.

The green bucket Wyatt has laid out beneath is halfway full already.

We had planned to move into a bigger place anyway. Now we've got no choice but speed up the process due to the leak. With no other dorm room available, we've made the conscious decision to move into the place we've been checking out for a month, two blocks away from campus.

It is time to move on.

So why is it that my eyes can't help but roam around the place I've called home for the last three years? My gut's tight and my chest feels thick.

When I close my eyes, I can remember how Wyatt and I first moved in here when I joined the football team. The first party we hosted in the cramped space with the rest of our team plays before me.

I even see Tara jumping up and down on Wyatt's bed like a monkey, the morning she and I had breakfast for the first time in college.

I can vividly see the times Jared and Oliver would get piss-drunk and play COD on our couch.

Nat's there, too. I'm seeing her and that one time she came to visit me. We're on the floor playing cards and she's laughing and I'm losing the game, but I'm the happiest.

I look at my bed and I see Rose lying there, smiling and disheveled, her face contorted in pleasure. I see our last fight and how she walked out on me. The dent left in the wall when I hurled my clock is prominent and jagged.

Then there's Teagan, fixing me and Jared cups of coffee quietly as she hums under her breath. The one I can't erase is when I found her by surprise and she cried in my arms because she claimed that no one else could know.

The one that haunts me the most is when I told Quentin I got accepted into college and that I'd have to start looking for a place. His beaming smile is etched in my memory. I got accepted, too. Maybe we can room together, Trent?

I'm flooded with a myriad of memories.

We're leaving. I'm leaving.

I hear Jared huff behind me. "Jesus Christ. I used to think Nat had a closet filled with too much shxt. You're just as bad."

His words are enough to snap me out of my daze. I feel an odd sense of heat creeping up my neck and it hurts to breathe a little. My eyes sting, too.

Jared's carrying two heavy boxes packed with my clothes. Behind him, I see Oliver and Calvin dismantling a piece of furniture as they joke about something. Wyatt's hollering that he's knocked his head under the vanity, as he emerges from the bathroom, box filled with toiletries.

"Bro, are you going to make yourself useful or just keep staring at the ceiling? It ain't going to fix itself magically."

I smirk bitterly, glad for the moment of relief. "Yeah, shxthead. Talk to me when you're done packing your makeup kit. I've already packed five boxes without your help."

Wyatt gives me the middle finger as he kicks our football gear to the side to make room for his massive frame.

Jared's the only one who comes up next to me. He places a hand on my neck and wrings me a little. "You okay, man?"

I look away. "Yeah."

"If it's about her, then forget it."

"Her?" My eyebrows furrow.

"Rose."

I glare at him.

Jared simply shrugs. "I'm going downstairs to the truck to load up these boxes. Do yourself a favor, Trent, and empty that shit from your wallet."

I inch him a careful look as I bend down to grab a few boxes myself. "I don't know what the fvck you're talking about, Roy."

"Her picture. I know you have bits of it in your wallet. I saw it the other day. Get rid of it and start anew."

Ahh. He's talking about that time I went home, threw out everything Rose gave me, but kept the picture of us I ripped into tiny pieces.

I know he's right, but for some reason I can't let him be. "I'll do that when you get rid of that collage of pictures you have on your wall, the one you made for my sister."

I ignore the wretched expression I leave Jared with. It kills me, but I do it anyway. It's the only way I know how to cope with my pain, by throwing his own in his face.

I step out of my place and into the hallway with only one thought: I'm fucking moving forward.

* * *

It takes about five hours for us to load everything from my old place and bring it to our new place. My boys and I worked hard, and now there are three haphazardly placed mattresses, dismantled furniture, a coffee table and a fvckton of closed cardboard boxes with our shit lying in the living room. Despite the mess, the TV has been installed and the sofa is intact.

Rent is expensive but split three ways - Jared has abandoned his roommate to come live in an actual apartment with Wyatt and I - it's easily affordable. I'm glad our campus is walking distance from our place and, on days when we are lazy, about three minutes of a drive.

Wyatt and Oliver are lounging on the floor with beers in their hands, chatting about upcoming football games. Calvin is fiddling with the stereo, blasting loud EDM music. A couple of other friends and their girlfriends are buzzing around with pizza slices and drinks in their hand. There's a whole celebration happening, but my muscles feel drained and I'm too tired to socialize with anyone.

All I can think is - we fucking did it. The move's happened and we're finally here. The place is on the 7th floor, but it's spacious with big windows and fresh air.

I grab the nearest chair and plop down on it, wiping my sweaty forehead with the hem of my jersey.

Something cold touches my damp neck and I jerk with a curse.

It's Jared. There's a pensive look on his face as he nudges a cold one in my direction. "You look beat. Have one, you stupid fvcker."

Stupid fvcker. I take it from him and crack it open. Then I send him my best apologetic look. "You still mad at me?"

My best friend acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about, as he maneuvers a chair next to me and sits down. "Yeah, I am. I can't believe you made me lift more than half of your boxes."

I lifted more than half of our boxes. "I'm sorry."

He knows what I'm apologizing for.

Jared sighs and cracks open his beer. "I know."

"Jared..." I feel at a loss for words as I stare down at my drink. The words are climbing my throat, but releasing them is a feat. "I'm an asshole. I just...you know how I am, but lately everything feels like it's been weighing down on me. I'm just...Maybe there's nothing and it's all in my head but I feel like my head is spinning most of the time. And...you're right about the picture. I have too much pride so I shot it in your face."

Jared nods but I see the smile curving his mouth. "Trent, you're not an ass. I've practically known you my whole life. You're selfless, but you just act like one because it's easier. Don't apologize to me. You're also right about my, you know, wall. I should take it down."

He's got such a serious face now and he looks like he's really considering it. I don't know if I could forgive myself if Jared took down those pictures - endless rows of sunsets, sunrises, greeneries, skies, rivers, and Natalie - the one's that are so beloved to him.

Plus, Jared doesn't really take pictures after Jayden's death. I went into his room once and was stunned when I saw that his Nikon was gathering dust in his drawer. I felt saddened.

"Jared, no. Look, you spent months on that project. Hell, wasn't it a year? It doesn't matter that Nat is in them, because you keeping that wall means something more than a measly picture Rose and I once took. You snap pictures because it's your passion. Don't listen to me. Now is the time to hit me for saying dumb shxt."

Jared laughs and cracks his knuckles like he's actually considering it. I don't wince because I deserve it. If anything, I'm relieved he's laughing. "Don't tempt me. Football player or not, I'd win this one."

I laugh because that's not true. Jared and I got into a quarrel a couple of years ago and it was a tie. But, if anyone would have won, it would have been me.

"Let's just call it truce, Roy."

"Water under the bridge, Reynolds. But you should still throw away that picture."

And just like that we start conversing about his psych classes and my issues with Lance Campa. The conversation shifts to his current girlfriend, or the girl he's "seeing" - Sara Aiko with three other names I can't remember.

"Yeah." He rubs a sweaty palm over his forehead. "I can't stay too long because I'm seeing her tonight."

"You don't sound so excited."

"I am; she's a nice girl."

I finish off my beer and reach for the bowl of chips Jared stole from my teammates. "Look...not to throw this in your face, but Nat's going to be in town for her birth day soon. I just want to give you a heads up. We're going to celebrate it with the whole gang. It's been two years. Will u come...or?"

There's a hopeful look entering Jared's eyes. "You think she'll want me there?"

I'm contemplating it because honestly, I'm not certain myself.

" I...I fvcked up with Nat, Trent. I wasn't right in the head I was younger and stupid, too. I know my mistakes - the ones I made with her and you."

"Water under the bridge, Jared." It's true. Jared and I had gone through a rough patch when I found out he went behind my back and started seeing my sister. It took me awhile to come to terms with everything but tell that to an eighteen-year-old Trent.

Jared looks miserable again. "It's been awhile, but I don't want to ruin her night."

"Jared, you're different and she's different." And I say this with certainty. "You've both, you know, grown up. Nat's okay with everything and I think you are, too." I know she's okay, but I don't know how she'll react to seeing him. But I don't want to leave him out if we're all gathering. It just doesn't feel right. "Trust me, I think it'll be fine. There's no more bad blood between you guys, right?"

"None on my part," he mumbles, but I can tell he's nervous at the prospect of seeing here again. "We'll see how it goes. Anyways, I should head out. I promised Sara I'd pick her up."

Jared leaves after saying his round of goodbyes. I've joined Oliver on the floor, where we're eating bread and barbecued kabab skewers that my teammate Mo prepared outside on the balcony. There's a distinct air of smoke floating inside the apartment, but it's not bad.

My phone is far away,so when it lights up, I nudge Oliver with my foot. He's sitting opposite of me and it's closest to him. "See who's texting me?"

Oliver glances down at my phone then freezes a little. His throat works with a difficult swallow.

"Oli, pass me my cell." What's gotten into him?

With a look that screams disdain, Oliver tosses my phone in the air like it's the plague and he can't get away fast enough. It's strange really... how he's gone so pale.

My eyebrows knit as I unlock my screen. It's Teagan. Oh.

I'm about to press call, when I catch Oli watching me from the corner of his eyes. Three years later and he still has the audacity to call her a bitch. To act entitled with his shitty opinions of her.

Is he mad that I'm being the best friend to her that he can no longer be? Or is it more than that?

I'm so sick of Oliver acting this way in regard to Tee. I get it, she broke his heart as he calls it, but it was all so unintentional and a stupid as fvck misunderstanding. Moreover, it was three years ago. She's not his best friend anymore and she fvcking crossed borders to put distance between them and the hate he gave her. Oliver and I have always seen eye-to-eye on things - movies, games, politics, and you name the rest - but not when it comes to his treatment of her.

"You got Inga now?" I hear myself asking him.

Oliver snaps his head my way and everything goes quiet and slow. I'm seeing Oliver's golden eyes looking sad and angry because his mind is on the text he just read. I'm seeing the quality of his mussed black hair because he's just tugged the strands mercilessly out of frustration. He's so fvcking transparent.

"What?" he snaps, his jaw muscle popping.

"You have Inga now, right? Your girlfriend?" I ask again, trying to drive my point home. I'm suddenly annoyed at him, along with the usual - the rest of the world.

"What are you getting, too, Trent?" he spits.

I get up from my position on the floor and brush away at my jeans, pinning Oliver with a slight glare. And, because I'm so mature, I smack him in the back of the head as I make my way towards the kitchen. "This is for calling Teagan a whxre, you piece of shxt."

If I thought Oliver was frozen before, now he's as impeccably pale and immobile as a roman statue. He whispers with a haunting quality, "I never called her a whore."

Then why does Teagan feel that way?

"You think it," I shoot back, before shaking my head at him disappointingly "That's just as bad."

Then I proceed to walk down the hallway and ring Teagan up. She answers on the second ring and breathes a sigh of relief. "Hey..."

* * *

Tara and Cher promptly arrive after I've ended my phone call with Teagan.

When I walk back out of the privacy of my room, there's a lot more people and alcohol involved in the whole thing. There's even a lingering scent of weed. I think about going to Wyatt and asking him to keep a close eye on everyone. These people may be my friends and peers, but I wasn't about to have them fvck shit up on my first unofficial day in my new home.

As always, I catch Cher's long bronze mane. My heart rate kicks up. She's walking aimlessly into the kitchen with another girl and I want to see her. I want to talk to her. I want to be near her.

I don't know if it's going to be awkward after that time she stayed over. I sure as fvck hope not.

I thought we were harmlessly napping. But maybe it wasn't so harmless since I had a handful of her butt and she was unknowingly grinding her pvssy against my leg and driving me crazy.

She left too quickly for my liking. I barely got a word in and she was gone.

My plan to go after Cheryl is ruined when Tara plants herself in front of my face and start waving her arms in the air like a maniac, doing her little victory dance. "Treeennnnton. Congratu-fvcking-lations. My boo bought his first home."

"I'm renting, Tara, and it's my second place." I don't try to correct the boo part - Tara loves this charade we have going on. She claims it's "funny as fvck".

There's a wicked gleam in her eyes. "Semantics. Same shxt."

Tara looks beautiful in a tight black dress, the short kind that ends near a girl's knees and accentuate every damn line in their body. Tara's been toning up with me at the gym for years now so she's in perfect shape. Her blond hair is straightened, and she's had the time to change her neon yellow nail color to neon orange since the last time I've seen her.

"Where's my kiss?" she demands.

I groan. Not this again. "Tara."

I try stepping around her.

She blocks my exit like a five-year-old and the proceeds to wrap her arms around my body like they're vines. She's hugging the life out of me. "I'm waiting."

Rolling my eyes because I know this is the only way, I squish her jaw with my hand so her lips are pouty and she looks like a blowfish. She's wearing red lipstick and I know it's going to be all over my mouth.

Well, great. Fvck.

Tara and I have made out several times over the last few years, not that anyone knows. We agreed it would stay between us. Anytime we kissed, it was out of pure boredom. Hell, she was my first real kiss. We both wanted to experiment and become better kissers so at thirteen and fourteen, we sat in the back of my treehouse and made out like sloppy idiots for an hour. None of our friends knew. Shxt, not even Nat who would have a coronary. Suffice to say it was weird... doing it with someone who was kind of like your sibling. Our excuses started off as, "I wonder what it would feel like to kiss someone; does it feel nice or is it gross?", and then morphed to, "Hey Tara/Trent, I've got a hot date, help me practice, yeah?"

She grows her eyes as big as puss-in-boots.

I roll my eyes good-naturedly.

She's crazy but I can't help the smile on my face. Cupping her jaw a bit more gently, I plant a noisy one on her lips. "Mwah."

She laughs mischievously. "You can thank me later. I saw Bat-shxt-crazy-Tonya about two minutes ago. Can you believe she's followed you all the way here? Maybe she'll leave your d!ck alone now that you've got some hot babe's lipstick stain all over your mouth."

I gape at her. "I don't know if I should thank you or strangle you."

She winks. "Thank me. And look over to your right, we have an audience."

When I peak over, I see Tonya with an angry-stricken look on her face, standing with some girl I've never seen before. Oh, she saw Tara's show all right. Aiming another glare at me, Tonya turns around and stomps out of my place.

I know she was getting attached to me every time we fvcked, and that's the last thing I need, so I'm grateful for Tara's interruption. But at the same time, I feel bad. Hurting her isn't something that makes me feel better.

Tara makes another big show of wiping her lips with the back of her hand. "Ugh. I guess I have cooties."

"I gave them to you when you were thirteen. Shut up and grow up," I say. "Now come over here. I'm going to give you a tour of my new place."

Tara sticks out her tongue, but inserts herself in the crook of my arm. I show her around, before bringing her to the dining table where the rest of my teammates are gathered around, eating and drinking.

Calvin is giving us a measured look as his gaze bounces between the both of us. There's an ounce of worry etched into his face lines.

He's still far away, so he can't hear me when I bend down to whisper in Tara's ear. "What's his problem?"

Is it just me, or is he looking at Tara appreciatively and giving me a slightly fearful look?

She smiles seductively at him and gives a two-finger wave. "I'm seeing him."

Suddenly I put two-and-two together and finally fvcking get four.

Calvin's been missing practice because he's been preoccupied with this new chick he's screwing. I never gave him shxt because I can't be one to judge, but now... "You're the girl he's fvcking?" I roar, pulling us apart. "You're fvcking Calvin?"