Endless Bonds Copyright © 2016 xXMopelXx All Rights Reserved.

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marzyopal

 Happy Reading! xo

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t's not working out, Trey."

How many times have I heard those same exact words leave her mouth over the past three years? How many times have I tried to make it work by telling her what I always tell her? How many times have I said that I love her – that nothing can change that?

Way too many fucking times. 

Rose gives me a half-smile as she straightens her glasses and gets up from my bed. A sense of panic creeps over me, instantly washing away the feeling of bliss we've been floating in for the past couple of hours. She throws on her clothes as fast as possible, and fixes her long black hair by combing her fingers through the dishevelled mess.

A mess I made, when just a mere moment ago, I was running my fingers through those thick strands as I made love to my girlfriend.

Her neck sports a couple of hickeys and her lips are still red and swollen from my kisses. And she's saying that this is over? Fuck, no. She can't just rock my world, only to throw me off my axis again.

I swing my legs over my bed and get up in a haste to catch up with her. "You can't say that every time things don't go your way, Rosie," I say, trying yet failing to keep the malice out of my tone. "You need to stop running away."

My words have her back stiffening ramrod-straight.

Good. That means the wheels in her head are turning. And if they are turning, then my smart cookie is actually thinking and weighing my words. I bend down to retrieve my discarded jersey and boxers from the floor when Rose suddenly whirls around, exasperation blanketing her features.

I'm trying to be angry with her, but her naked top isn't helping my issue. Another flare of lust travels through me at the sight of her bare breasts just waving in front of my face like a white flag. I'm seconds away from gathering her into my arms and throwing her onto my bed, just to show her how much I care for her all over again. To show her that we can make this work out. To show her that this is the real deal once and for all.

Our eyes lock and hers cloud over. I can tell my words won't elicit the kind of answer I'm looking for.

"I'm not running away." Her murmured words hang in the air between us. She picks up her peach blouse, but doesn't bother putting it on. "I'm serious, Trenton. It's really over this time... It's got to be."

"Why?" Fuck, now I'm reduced to begging. I round the corner and slip into my briefs. "Why is it that every time things are going well you always find some stupid excuse to break things off. Again. Tell me, damnit. "

She gazes at me long and hard, and much to my horror, water wells up in her blue eyes. I feel like the biggest asshole in the world. A tear springs free and runs down her cheek. I wince, taking another step toward her.

"Rosie," I whisper. I close in on her and wrap my arms around her. She folds her tiny frame against my much larger one as I rock us back and forth for a couple of seconds. This feeling right here - utter elation - is all I need. "Baby, I'm sorry. Don't get upset."

"It's for the best," she chokes out, tightening her arms around my waist and hiccupping quietly. "Trent, you know it and so do I. We're too different. We want different things from life. It's just not meant to be."

"How can you say that?"

We've been on a break for two months and only two weeks ago did she come running back into my arms. I'm getting tired of this on-and-off, push-and-pull war we have going between us. "You aren't even willing to give it a try."

Rose flinches, as if my touch is scalding. Taking a couple of steps back, she fastens her sandals and quickly throws on her bra and blouse. When she wipes under her eyes, my chest constricts. I hate seeing her like this. I hate being the one to make her feel like this. It seems that lately I can never bring her any kind of fucking happiness.

My eyes wander back to my rumpled bed and I feel like something pierces through my heart. Fuck, she's killing me. After everything that's happened, how can she just leave like that? We've been through thick and thin. I fought with my sister relentlessly over trying to gain a chance with her best friend and I get jackshit for all the effort I put into my relationship.

Suddenly, the thought of my sister saddens me. I haven't seen Natalie in three months after she'd enrolled in Julliard University. New York wasn't too far away, but even our Skype dates and phone calls didn't suffice anymore. I miss talking to her. I miss her and my crazy as fuck mother.

I wonder if Jared and Natalie had ever fucked up as bad as Rose and I did in their brief relationship. Was it easy falling in love for them? Was it hard to stay together?

A thought that instantly has me grinding my molars occurs to me then. You'll always be the dysfunctional kid of the family, Trent. Fucking admit it. Can never do anything straight. Can never please anyone – not your mom, not your dad, not your sister and certainly not the one fucking girl you claim to love.

"That's fucking it, baby?" My chest is now splitting open as I follow her to my dorm door, hands tightly hanging on to hers. I can tell that Rose is trying to hold it together. She fixes her glasses again – glasses that I haven't seen on her since high school. She loves wearing contacts now. "You're just going to let it be?"

Her gaze shoots skywards and her bottom lip trembles. "You think this is easy for me Trent? I love you. You know I do... But this isn't working out. It hasn't been working out for two years now. We're not in high school anymore. We have real lives, real goals and real things to do."

Anger washes over me and I rip myself away from her. I thump my chest twice. "This is as real as it gets, Rosie. Just because we're not in the same programs doesn't mean anything. Our careers may be different but that doesn't mean we can't be in each others' lives. Our paths can be the same."

I'm yelling now and I can tell that it's scaring her. But fuck it, I'm being torn apart here. She presses herself against my door and I cage her in my arms. She exhales sharply and when her eyes rise to meet mine, I know whatever decision she's made in her mind is already set in stone. Done.

"I'm going to Australia, Trent. I'm leaving."

She's managed to push me off my axis.

Bewildered, I take a step or two back.

Her face blanches and she curses, squeezing her eyes shut as if she wasn't supposed to say anything. "I-I'm sorry, I was going to tell you but –"

"When?"

"– It was a last minute thing. My uncle asked me to come over and I want to pursue journalism there and–"

My nostrils flare and I smack my fist on the door. "Fucking when, Rose?"

Her blue eyes glimmer with tears. "In seven weeks."

I inhale a little brokenly and bite my lip before something like a stupid whimper escapes my mouth. Don't show her how much this is physically tearing you apart. I clench my hands a couple of times and keep my gaze on her. She guiltily avoids it.

"When were you going to tell me?"

"I wasn't."

That's the final blow. A punch right to my fucking guts. My heart aches now. "You never planned on telling me."

"I didn't."

I close my eyes, counting to five under my breath. Even now she can't take any pain to fight for what we have, what we could still have. And I was the fucking idiot trying to make this work out when her mind was already made up.

I was hanging on when she was ready to let go.

"You weren't even going to give me a chance to make amends," I say, backing away from her. An unreadable emotion flickered on her face and she tries to reach out for me, before dropping her hand midway. "I don't know how I feel about that."

Liar. It's fucking killing you. Dad left. Mom left. Natalie's gone and now Rose is leaving, too. There must be something really twisted about my fucked-up self if the people I can't live without can live without me. Dad didn't want to be a part of our family. My mother didn't want to have anything to do with us after his departure and even Natalie left me to go to a different university, even though I'm the one to encourage her to pursue her dreams.

"Trent, just hear me out–"

If Rose's mind is made, then so is mine. I'm done playing this game. Tired of the constant push and pull. I want some kind of guarantee – something that assures me that this right here is the real deal. If she's in my life for good, then I want to know. Except she's not. She's said it countless times in the past. I only understand now.

Chin jut out, I jerk my head in the direction of the door, trying to project as much hatred in my eyes as I possibly can. "If we're really done Rose, get out. I swear I won't come running back to you anymore. Have a great time in Australia."

I have more pride and dignity than that. I'm not going to be her little toy. Rose's face crumples before she sucks in another reassuring breath and leaves my dorm – my life. Maybe for good this time. 

I fall back against my bed, cradling my face in my hands. The eerie silence in the room stills for a beat, before it breaks as I haul my digital clock against the opposite wall with all the strength I can muster. It breaks and clatters against the wooden flooring.

My eyes prickle and my chest feels heavy. 

I gave everything I had and it wasn't enough. It never would be.

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