To say he was nervous was an understatement.

Jeongguk usually wasn't like this. But then again, the last time he even considered going out with a girl his age was roughly two years ago, and his last relationship ended up with the poor girl getting traumatized for life.

Surely he wasn't going to vomit all over someone and drop the cancer bomb again, but it was reasonable to say that Jeongguk was also pretty scarred too. Plus it wasn't cancer anymore. It was a "hey I'm gonna die in five months" bomb, and he knew had to drop it just so he wouldn't lead the poor girl on.

Don't get him wrong: he wasn't that cocky enough to claim she'd fall for him right off the bat. He wasn't exactly quite the eye-pleaser anymore (maybe not as bad as Prince Philip), but that was beside the point.

Telling her was the right thing to do in case she did want to meet him again. He just couldn't do that to someone else. Leaving Sae was hard on its own, and Taehyung was a whole different story he wasn't going to analyze at the moment.

There simply wasn't enough room in him to care for another person.

Although Sae somehow agreed with Taehyung when Jeongguk brought it up to her the other night. As long as he knew not to drag it on and was one hundred percent honest with her, he could go on the date. It wouldn't hurt to have fun and feel normal for one evening— which were Sae's exact words.

Fun. Normal. Dating. Jeongguk snorted at the idea of being able to experience that again. It felt too good to be true, like this wasn't happening, and it was all some cruel, cruel dream. At this point, he believed there was a good chance he was already on his deathbed, making this all up in his drug-hazed mind.

Fortunately, it wasn't a dream when a tiny body collided right into his, nearly sending him forward if it wasn't for his decent reflexes that grasped onto the wall to keep himself from knocking over. Ow. At least that reminded him he was definitely awake.

"Crap, I'm so sorr— oh my god Jeongguk! It's you!"A familiar voice perked his attention. Jeongguk turned around, brows furrowing when Park Jimin came into view.

Jeongguk wasn't really friend with Jimin, but they did talk from time to time during group sessions. He didn't know much about him besides his brain tumor and his never ending social battery. Jimin never shut up, but he guessed it was charming.

As charming and kind as he was, he didn't really see the point in talking to him outside of the group. Having Taehyung as his buddy was already way more than he could possibly handle— adding Jimin to the bunch wouldn't be as appeasing.

Maybe in another life they could've been best friends, but Jeongguk didn't really spend his time entertaining the possibility any more than he should.

"What's got you in a rush?" Jeongguk asked, leaning against the wall as Jimin's round cheeks flushed pink.

"Oh, well, uh, I have an appointment today," Jimin explained, scratching the side of his neck. "Got another x-ray. Tests. Labs. All that jazz, y'know."

"Yeah, the jazz," Jeongguk nodded, carefully eyeing him up and down. He would've believed him, except in Jimin's tiny hands was a yearbook. Not exactly something someone would bring to an appointment.

"Are you sure it's the jazz?" His eyes narrowed. He stared at him for a few seconds, the two engaging in a wordless stare down.

However without putting up much of a fight, Jimin groaned and gave in first, "Fine I'm sneaking up to Yoongi's room. I heard he got readmitted, so I wanted to come over and show him my yearbook even though I don't really remember much."

"Then why are you showing him it?" He frowned.

"Because Yoongi likes it when I talk," Jimin's face grew an even deeper shade of rose red. "He says it makes him forget things... so I talk to him. He's been in a lot of pain lately, and uh- I guess it's the only thing I can really do."

"You talk to him," Jeongguk repeated slowly. "I see. Well, sounds like you're getting along with your buddy." At that, Jimin seemed to perk up again, the smile that faltered on his lips quirking upward.

"Yeah," He beamed, "I really think he's cool. I'm glad Dr. Kim paired us together! I never thought I'd be able to relate to someone else, even though we're both going through very, very different things."

"You relate to him?" Something along the lines of confusion and curiosity edged his words as the crease between Jeongguk's brows deepened.

Jimin nodded, "Yeah, I know it sounds far-fetched. A brain tumor patient and an anorexia patient go through incredibly different situations, but in the end, there's always something we can both mutually understand so I think that's why we get along so well. Dr. Kim really knows what he's doing."

Really now, Jeongguk almost said, though he bit the words back with his teeth. "That's nice."

"Mhm," Jimin grinned, "I think it's probably the most important thing in having a friend. Even though you could be opposites, at least someone understands you to some degree. Even if they can't, it's nice, comforting even, to know someone is trying to."

"You sound like Taehyung." The words this time slip from his mouth, completely uncensored. Regret hit him like whiplash, and the innocent smile on Jimin's lips transitioned into a cheeky smirk.

"Right, you're Taehyung's buddy," Jimin hummed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jeongguk muttered. Jimin merely smiled brighter. Screw people with blinding smiles.

"Nothing!" He chuckled softly. "I wanted to ask you too about how everything's going. I haven't heard from Taehyung in awhile, that's all."

"It's going fi—hold on, you talk to him often?" For some reason Jeongguk couldn't fathom the idea of Taehyung having any other friends. He just seemed so annoying and overwhelming to keep up with.

"Yeah, we're best friends. Don't you remember?" He didn't say anything. Jimin snorted and added, "Glad to see you pay attention to him."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you think every little thing I say is meant to offend you, you silly goose?"

"No," Jeongguk scowled, "and don't call me that. Now you really sound like Taehyung."

Jimin tossed his head back, letting out a hearty laugh. "Please," He nudged Jeongguk, ignoring thw dirty look he was giving him, "It's a soulmate thing."

"Soulmates?" Jeongguk's head was spinning from all the info. How come he didn't know these things? He knew Taehyung had a whole life outside of the hospital, but Jeongguk supposed he didn't really know much about him after all.

"Soulmates. Y'know. Our souls are like meant for each other but in a platonic way!" Jimin beamed. "Gosh, doesn't Taehyung yap about these things?"

"No?" His eyes narrowed. Jimin blinked at him, his own lips curving into an oval. "He doesn't."

"Do you even know anything about Taehyung?" He raised an eyebrow at him.

"He plays hockey? He likes kit kat, and his divorced parents reproduce like bunnies," Jeongguk said after scouring his brain for the pieces of Taehyung trivia he could be bothered enough to remember.

"That's all you know?" With some more careful consideration, Jeongguk eventually nods. "Geez."

"What? Is something wrong?" He asked. Jimin shrugged, drumming his fingers over his yearbook.

"It just sounds... I don't know. We're almost two months into the program. Since you spend so much time together, don't you think you would know more?" He chuckled uneasily. "I'm sure you have your reasons but..."

"Do you even want to be his friend, Jeongguk?"

Jeongguk tensed, not quite expecting that as a question. He glanced down at Jimin, the frown he wore sitting heavy on his lips as he studied his face close. It wasn't like he was being rude or anything. No matter how hard he tried to find an excuse for his question, all he could come up with was pure concern for another friend. Goddamnit.

Did he want to be Taehyung's friend? Well, he did bother him a lot about it, and most of the time he would shoot him down. It was a light-hearted thing, so Jeongguk never thought too hard into it since it felt like a joke.

A joke. Was their friendship really a joke? Even he wasn't sure. Was it even worth it to be friends with someone, even though you knew they were going to leave you? Well, Taehyung thought it was worth it.

Jeongguk knew this only because he was so damn insistent. Taehyung's gave him every reason why he wanted to be his friend. He put the time and effort to make Jeongguk's last few months worth living, all because he wanted to— not because a program was telling him to.

If Taehyung really didn't care about him, Jeongguk knew he would have walked out already. He would have given up, just like the others.

But Taehyung wasn't like the others. He hasn't given up, and he was still here, fitting (somewhat forcing) himself into Jeongguk's life like he still had all the time in the world. Like there was a spot for him all along, and Jeongguk simply didn't know because nobody ever really tried.

Taehyung tried for him, and maybe Jeongguk was being a little unfair for not returning the energy.

If he was trying, and if he really meant what he said, shouldn't he be putting in some effort too?

"Well, we are," Jeongguk whispered, voice thick as a realization lodges itself into a lump in his throat. "I think we are." I think we're friends.

"Alright," Jimin was back to smiling again, though he noticed how it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Maybe I'm wrong. Taehyung really likes you, so I'm sure it's mutual." Oh, he does?

"Yeah," Jeongguk felt his chest squeeze, glancing down at the floor, unable to meet Jimin's eyes when a wave of embarrassment washes over the skin on his nape. Jimin simply chuckled.

"Well, I hope you enjoy whatever you're doing today. Taehyung's over there," Jimin said. Oh yeah, his date with— who? At that, Jeongguk's head whipped up, eyes widening.

"Taehyung's here?" He wasn't supposed to be here. Taehyung said he was busy, so he wouldn't be able to see him. Plus it wasn't like he was driving him anywhere. The girl was meeting him at the hospital.

"Yeah? Isn't he supposed to be? He's over there," He pointed a tiny finger over Jeongguk's shoulder. Confused, Jeongguk whipped around to see what was up— this wasn't part of the plan.

Taehyung was standing by the entrance, and it didn't take long for him to notice who was with him. His hands were in his pockets, shoulders hunched as his head hung forward. There was a smaller girl standing in front of him, so short that Taehyung was able to stoop over her.

He was frowning. The thing about Taehyung was that he couldn't miss it whenever he frowned. It just didn't fit him right, and on the rare occasions that he was, Jeongguk could feel the weight of it on his chest. He watched as Taehyung whispered something to her, his features distorted with irritance.

The mystery girl was beautiful— breath-taking even. She had long, wavy blonde hair that fell over her shoulders, delicate features, and fair skin that paled in comparison to Taehyung's. She didn't look too happy either when she whispered something back.

"Who's that?" Jeongguk asked, watching as Taehyung gestured angrily at the girl who just now rolled her eyes back at him.

"You don't know her?" Jimin murmured. He shook his head. "That's Taehyung's girlfriend. Han Haewon." His girlfriend.

Haewon shoved Taehyung back, though she wasn't strong enough to really make him budge. He was staring at her with such hate, disgust even, and when she tried to push him again, he snatched her tiny wrist into his massive hands and whispered something into her ear. Her shoulders dropped, but the anger in her features remained.

"They don't look happy," Jeongguk said without realizing it. Thankfully, Jimin hummed, agreeing with him.

"Everytime I see them, they're always arguing over something," Jimin sighed. "It's a thing between them. Taehyung still loves her, regardless if she's really stupid."

"Stupid?" Jeongguk watched as Taehyung laced their fingers together. He swung them between them, somewhat easing the irritation on his lover's face as he continued whispering to her.

"She's really difficult," Jimin said. "Well, I have to go meet Yoongi. See you later Jeon!" He barely waved goodbye at him, his attention still fixed on the feuding couple standing not too far away from him.

Taehyung wasn't lying about having a girlfriend. Out of all the jokes he's made, whenever he brought her up, Jeongguk knew it was serious. He just didn't think they'd be like this— at all. The arguing, the hate. Jeongguk might've not been in a relationship in a while, but this wasn't how a couple should be, right?

But even so, it wasn't his business to assume things. He only knew of the bad, and there was bound to be some good things that made Taehyung want to stay, to love her. Eventually they stopped fighting, and Haewon got on her tip toes, kissing him right on the lips.

Jeongguk's skin prickled. Maybe he shouldn't be watching this like a creep, but at this point, he couldn't bring himself to look away even if he wanted to. Haewon lingered on his lips, and when she pulled back, smiling up at him, Taehyung's face remained indifferent.

It didn't bother Jeongguk that Taehyung had a lover, but something about that just didn't sit right with him.

When Haewon left, Taehyung ran a hand down his face, shoving his fingers through his silver hair with a ragged exhale. It didn't take much to convince him to walk over to his side. Although, Jeongguk decided it was probably best to pretend he didn't see anything just in case Taehyung didn't want to talk about it.

"Oh, hey," He sounded tired. Jeongguk's gaze flitted to his lips, which were bright red— swollen just a little bit. His stomach tugged. "You ready?"

"Ready for what?" Jeongguk asked carefully, watching as he ran his hand down his face again.

"For the bucketlist— aren't we doing that today?"

"I... have a date, remember?" He swallowed.

Realization hit Taehyung in seconds. "Oh, right. Shit, sorry. I-I just— I'm sorry Jeon. I didn't forget, I just had— it's whatever."

"I could," He swallowed again, not really giving it much thought before blurting out, "Cancel?"

"What? No!" Taehyung's eyebrows shot up on his forehead. He shook his head, "No, no. Don't. I'm flattered, but I'll be okay. Go have fun with her."

"Are you sure?" He asked, stomach churning.

"I-I'm sure," Taehyung smiled weakly at him. "I should probably get some sleep anyway. I'll bother Joon to let me into some on-call room."

"Taehyung?" Jeongguk noticed Eunhwa passing through the front doors of the hospital behind him, but he couldn't leave. He didn't want to. Not yet.

"Yeah?" He looked up at him, weary-eyed.

"You alright?"

At that, Taehyung chuckled dryly, "That's a first."

"I mean it," Jeongguk shifted his feet. You try so hard for me. Why aren't you letting me try for you?

"Well, I'm fine. Thanks for asking," He said. "You should really get going to your date."

"If you need anything, text me, okay?" Jeongguk supposed it wouldn't hurt to be nice, to tell him the things Sae would whenever he seemed upset. It wasn't much but it was something. Maybe it wasn't trying hard, but it was his attempt at trying.

Something flickered over Taehyung's face. "I will. I'll text you, if I need anything. Have fun, okay?"

"Yeah," Jeongguk nodded, giving him a brief smile. He brushed past him, sucking in a breath. He turned around right before Taehyung could get out of ear shot and said, "I'll see you after?"

Taehyung whipped around, eyebrows arched over his tanned features. Eventually, the surprise faded into a small smirk, "Of course, Jeon. If that's what you want, I'll see you after."

He saluted at him with a goofy smile before walking off, leaving Jeongguk alone once he boarded the elevators probably to head over to Namjoon's floor. Jeongguk chewed at his bottom lip as he stared at the spot Taehyung once occupied, Jimin's words lingering in his mind.

Do you even want to be his friend?

Yes, Jeongguk's mind suddenly answered for him. I want to be his friend.

Before he could dwell on it any longer, someone touched his arm. "Jeongguk?"

"Oh hey, Eunhwa," He resurfaced from his thoughts, though his neck remained weirdly hot. "You ready?"

"I'm ready," She smiled at him. Jeongguk smiled back at her, part of him wishing Taehyung smiled— no. No, he wasn't going to think about him anymore. Taehyung was fine, and it wasn't his business to dwell on whether or not he smiles.

"Great, let's go," Jeongguk said, forcing aside all of the thoughts of Taehyung away from his head. But as much as he tried to forget, his chest still ached, knowing that a piece of him was hurting out there. Somewhere.

And he couldn't do anything about it.

alright i had to put this out here

to get the ball rolling LMAO

i realized there hasn't been much

taekook moments, and I KNOW ITS A

TAEKOOK FIC DW! it's coming...

anyway hoped you like this, regardless

if it was a filler or not (; you got to meet

tae's gf! she's real! any thoughts so far?

love you guys lots!💛💛