I curl my hands around the cup of hot chocolate and study the face of the man in front of me.

He barely has wrinkles, and his hair is dark. His youthful eyes are grayish, just like mine.

The paper from the laboratory I tucked into my purse says Eric Langley is my dad.

We are equally shy and awkward. It's not easy to learn it all about a person in one afternoon, but we try to get to know each other.

Eric loves bikes and nature. He's been abroad several times and is doing well now, living in the city and working for one of the biggest motorcycle manufacturers in the country.

He tells me stories about his life and his job and asks me tons of questions as if he were eager to make up for all those years he missed. He probably is.

"I'm sorry for what happened to your and Brian's friend," Eric says.

"Me too."

"What do the doctors say?"

"Not much," I whisper, staring into my mug. "They can't promise anything, but each day he spends in a coma decreases his chances at a normal life later. It hasn't been that long yet, but there are no positive changes, either."

"Does he need money? I could help."

"Thank you, but no." I smile. "Brian's brother Jimmy made sure Mackenzie gets all the help he needs. Now we can only wait and hope."

"The guy who did it deserves to rot in jail," says Eric.

I sip my chocolate and nod. Tears burn the back of my eyes when I think about everything that happened on that fateful day.

Bella came to the police station to testify willingly. Apparently, Gavin told her he was going to celebrate the graduation with his friends in the city. She was alone and, knowing about the party at the Temple, Bella decided to go there.

She saw Gavin in the woods near the clearing. Gavin told her to keep quiet. He only wanted to see what the delinquents were up to.

Bella was Gavin's ticket to the Temple. Thanks to her, he could go there and learn everything about each of us. He knew we would have a party when we graduated, and he planned everything thoroughly.

Thanks to Bella's statement, his arrest happened fast.

But the innocent boy fighting for his life in the hospital bed didn't benefit from it. None of us did. Gavin will go to jail, but nobody can tell if Mackenzie will be healthy. We don't know if he will be able to walk or talk. We have no clue if he is going to wake up.

All we have is hope.

Eric reaches across the table and gives my hand a little squeeze. Sympathy fills his gaze, and I can tell it's genuine.

We hug when we say goodbye, and I promise to call him later and meet for lunch again.

On the way home, I call Annie.

"Any news?" I ask.

She sighs. "None. Doctor Morris tries to lift my spirits, but I can see he and doctor Sawyer are concerned, Leah."

"You have to eat and sleep a bit," I say.

Annie lets out a sad chuckle. It's nothing like her usual infectious laughter that tinkles in the air and makes people smile, but at least she's not crying.

"My mom is here with me. She makes sure I eat. And Leah..."

"Yeah?"

"Tell that idiot it's not his fault. Brian had nothing to do with what happened, and if Kenzie...if Kenzie wakes up, he will beat the crap out of Brian for blaming himself and not Ferdinand."

"I will try, Annie, but I can't promise he will listen."

We hang up. I bite my lip as I walk the remaining distance to my house.

Brian slept in my bed every night since the accident, except for the last three days he spent at his brother's.

He swallows pills and hardly eats, and I've never seen him smoke so much. The boy who told stupid jokes and made me blush is gone. I worry, and so do Brian's parents, but nothing helps.

Brian's dad fixed his bike. It looks new, and although I know how much Fat Boy means to Brian, he seems to avoid all things that have to do with motorcycles. Even his job.

I decide to talk to him tonight. I have to pull him out of the well of despair he's drowning in because I love him too much to lose him.

Once I am at home, I wait for Brian anxiously, pacing the length of my room.

He climbs into my bedroom through the window at night.

"Hey," I say and hug him to me. Brian looks tired and pale, and I can't help frowning at the smell of cigarettes clinging to his black shirt.

"Hey," Brian says and kisses my lips. "I'm sorry you had to wait for so long. Jim and I talked, and his chauffeur drove me home."

"Did you go to see Mac?"

"Leah..."

"Annie asked me to tell you it wasn't your fault. She is right, Brian."

"Kitten, please. Let's just sleep, okay? I'm so damn tired. I need my girl. Can I be with you?"

"You know I can't say no to you. Come here."

I unmake my bed and take Brian's hand in mine. We lie down next to each other. His heartbeat is frantic when I rest my palm on his chest.

"You have to stop smoking so much. If you are punishing yourself, you have to stop, baby. It's not making things better for you, and it makes me worry about you, too."

Brian nods. My heart breaks when I see the tears on his cheeks.

I wipe them off and wrap him in my arms. He puts his head on my chest, and I kiss his forehead, caressing his dark hair.

Brian's lips seek mine. He kisses me slowly, and then fast, tenderly, and then rough.

I help him get rid of his shirt and take mine off. We are skin on skin.

Brian looks into my eyes before lowering his head to my chest and placing tender kisses all over my hot skin. I touch him through his underwear and undress him completely.

I need him. Everything is falling apart around us, but we have hope and each other. I want to be Brian's strength. I want to love him and show him I do.

I am the one to put the condom on him this time. He eases into me, with his eyes glued to mine, and one of his hands cupping my cheek. We move slowly and hardly make any noises. I raise my hips to feel him better and kiss his lips desperately when Brian's fingers caress me.

Wrapping my legs around Brian's hips, I make him move faster and love me harder. My palms glide over the sweaty skin on his back, and he moans softly when I suck at the skin on his neck.

We fall apart in each other's arms, and Brian doesn't move at first.

"This fire, baby," he whispers, caressing my hair, "don't let anyone smother it. Ever. You are brave and beautiful and fierce. You are everything, Kitten."

"In your eyes," I whisper, kissing Brian's chest.

He says nothing, but his kisses do. He is tender and gentle, caressing and kissing me until I fall asleep, feeling safe and loved in his arms.

***

It's late when I wake up. Brian isn't next to me, and I grab my phone to check if there are calls or texts from him or Annie.

Annie tells me there's no news.

I walk up to the window and notice a piece of paper on my desk. Brian's handwriting is on it, and I sit on the floor because my legs give out.

I read the words over and over again and sob, refusing to believe what I see. The three lines crush my heart, and the pain is excruciating.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

Brian