Brian is taking me to the place where it all started, and for the next few days, there won't be anything more important than us.

We stopped to buy groceries. Luckily, I kept some clothes of mine at Brian's. His grandparents are away, visiting some friends, and although I wouldn't mind spending time with them, I am relieved we would be alone.

My arms are wrapped around Brian as he maneuvers the bike, dodging traffic. It's still early, and the sun is bright, unlike my dark, miserable mood. I swallow hard when the recollection of what I'd seen in my kitchen makes my eyes water, and rest my cheek against Brian's back.

Fat Boy takes a right turn, and we are riding down a country road, surrounded by trees and stillness. Unlike that first time in winter, the woods around us are painted in shades of vibrant green.

After entering his grandparents' estate, Brian rides straight to the cabin and parks the bike at the entrance.

"Are you okay?" he asks me, furrowing his brows when I shrug and look away.

"Leah..."

"Can I see the beach while you're putting away the food? Please?"

I love Brian to pieces, but I need a moment to myself if I don't want to lash out at him when he's the only person who didn't let me down.

"Sure. If you need to be alone, just say it. I'll give you the space you need."

"I just need a moment. Join me when you're done. Okay?"

Brian nods and kisses my temple. I take the familiar path and stroll toward the beach hidden behind the evergreen trees.

The sea is calm today. The waves caress the shore and retreat lazily. I sit on the warm sand and wrap my arms around my knees, blinking once, twice, three times when the unwanted thoughts break through the state of my fake bliss.

I don't see the ocean anymore. I see myself as a kid, clutching my mom's hand as I follow her around the store. My gaze lingers on the doll I want for Christmas, and Mom shakes her head even before I say the words.

When it's Christmas Eve, she gives me some clothes instead, and I'm grateful. I know things are rough. Mom is always tired and never smiles. Unlike the moms of the kids I go to school with, she doesn't wear pretty clothes or makeup.

I seek her affection like a puppy, clinging to her whenever I can, and asking myself if she is also tired of me. Her tender gestures toward me are less frequent with each passing day, month, and year.

Now, as I stare at the glistening water, I see the teenage Leah, awkward in her shapeless, cheap clothes, bullied by her classmates because, just like her mother, she has no reason to smile. She has no friends and is afraid to dream because she isn't used to getting what she wants.

She didn't get that doll, and she didn't get that pretty pink dress, and she didn't get her mom's hug or a well-done each time she got an excellent grade.

I wipe at my eyes and look at my knees. It is then when Brian sits next to me. He is hesitant as he hugs me, but I don't push him away. Instead, I circle his neck with my slightly cold arms and seek his lips, kissing him hard as soon as my mouth is on his.

"I want you," I whisper, edging forward to make sure our bodies touch.

Brian stills and rests his warm palms on my cheeks. "No, Kitten, you don't."

"I do."

"I'm not going anywhere, and we have time. And you can be mad, but I'm not letting you solve the issues with sex, even if it's with me. I've done it enough times to know it won't help. It might distract you, but you will feel just as shitty after, and I would hate that for our second time together."

I nod and let Brian hug me as I sit between his bent legs.

"Why didn't she give him a chance?" I say into the warm, salty air. "If not for her, for me. It's not about money. It's about me having a family and a dad who probably cared."

"I don't know, babe," Brian answers. "People make shitty choices. Some way shittier than others. It sucks when kids are involved. It wasn't your fault, and you deserved better than the crappy childhood you were forced to have. I'm not the best person to talk about it because I was a happy, careless kid. My parents made sure Jim and I had it all, and you've met my family, so you know the way we are. But you know what? Now you have the O'Briens, and that has to make everything a bit better, right?"

I give Brian a small but genuine smile and let him embrace me tighter. We stare off into the distance, at the vast sea and infinite sky, sitting on the deserted beach till sunset.

Brian helps me up and kisses my hand before lacing his fingers with mine as we walk to the cabin.

"We have some liqueur," says Brian. "And food."

"Sounds like a plan."

"But the boy isn't touching your girl if you're buzzed, so drink wisely."

I halt and pretend to be looking for something around me. "Hello? Has anyone seen my walking cliche, bad boy boyfriend? The one with tattoos, muscles, and his big, pierced boy?"

"Walking cliche? Give me that ass, Kitten."

Brian grabs me by the waist and lifts me easily, throwing me over his shoulder as he keeps on walking. I wiggle my butt, and Brian slaps it, laughing while I'm trying to tickle him.

"Easy there, Princess, or the boy will show you who's the boss."

"I am the boss. I say jump, and the boy asks how high."

"Right now, very high, Kitten. Why do you have to be such a turn-on?"

Brian manages to kiss me as he climbs the steps leading to the cabin and puts me down next to the table in the small kitchenette. He's already made some sandwiches, and I help him carry everything to the bedroom we will share.

"You unmade the bed," I say, looking at the white linen.

"Your cliche bad boy boyfriend only thinks about sex, Kitten."

Brian wiggles his brows and takes off his shirt and jeans.

"What are you waiting for? Undress," he says to me.

I do. We are both in our underwear when we get in bed and grab a sandwich each.

"So, by sex, you meant food," I say, taking a bite.

Brian smirks and says nothing while we eat. It goes on for a while, and only after we've eaten everything does he pour the liqueur in shot glasses.

"Here you go, Kitten. I can show you the boy after if you want, and my cliche good girl girlfriend might even kiss him."

"Such an ass, O'Brien."

"My ass does look good, Kitten. So good, you can't help checking it out."

"I'm not."

"Drink, babe," Brian nods at the glass in my hand. "Then we can bicker some more, or I can kiss you."

"Cheers to the family I didn't get to have," I mumble and down the shot that tastes of my tears more than it does of plums.

Brian's gaze is soft, and so is his touch when he caresses my cheek after drinking his liqueur.

"Come here," he whispers and leans against the pillows, pulling me onto his lap and drawing his arms around me.

"Let it out, baby," Brian says into my neck, touching the skin with his warm lips. "Let it out now because I don't want to see you sad anymore."

The dam breaks, and the tears flow, soaking my cheeks and Brian's skin as I press my forehead to his naked shoulder. Brian caresses me as he holds me for what could be an hour.

I calm down, and my body stops shaking. I say nothing to Brian, but it's different in my head. There, I give myself the promise I fully intend to keep: I, Leah Mitchell, won't be like my mother, bitter and unhappy, victim to her circumstances caused by her decisions. I will study, get a degree and a job that will allow me to be independent and buy the things I want to buy- the pretty, girly things I like. I won't give up on my dream and won't settle for less, and I won't let anyone walk over me anymore.

I put some distance between Brian and me and look at him when my cheeks are dry.

"Are you sure?" Brian asks quietly when I reach behind me and unclasp my bra, pushing the straps off my shoulders. The thin fabric slides down my body, and just like that, my chest is bared to him.

He puts his hands on my waist and edges forward almost too slowly, shortening the distance between us after I nod. I close my eyes when Brian touches me, moving his hands until they are on my breasts, cupping them. He caresses my nipples with his fingertips, and I kiss his lips, moaning into his mouth when his caresses become rougher.

"Say the words, baby," he whispers, sliding one of his hands down until his fingers skim the edge of my underwear.

"I want it. I want you," I say against Brian's mouth, parting his lips with mine and kissing him deeply.

He gets rid of my panties and his boxers. The feeling of Brian's skin on mine sends jolts of pleasure to my core. The room is almost dark, but I see the desire bordering on desperation on his face as I move on his lap, and my sex touches his hardness.

Brian covers my neck in wet kisses and grabs a condom from the drawer.

"Stay like this," he tells me when he's ready.

I nod just barely and stare into Brian's darkened eyes when I feel his fingers on me, caressing me slowly and then faster. I capture Brian's lips with mine and moan when he removes his hand and fills me inch by inch.

"It's deeper this way," Brian whispers, cupping my behind. He raises his hips, and the feeling of him inside me makes me gasp. I try to adjust to the new position and almost lose it when Brian lowers his head to my breast.

The instinct propels me to move, rocking my hips following the rhythm Brian set with his lips and hands. He licks my skin and bites my breasts softly until I move quicker.

It sets him off. His eyes darken even more, and Brian changes the pace of his thrusts to a much faster one. His lips wrap around my nipple. One of his hands finds its way to my core, and a gasp leaves my mouth when I feel the pressure starting to build.

Everything ceases to exist but us. My wet mouth finds Brian's, and I kiss him, tugging at his hair. My sleek, sweaty skin glides against his, and I feel him grow even bigger inside me. Bold, I move up and then down, making Brian curse. I know we feel the same thing - the need and the passion and the wild, untamed desire toward each other.

Brian presses his forehead to mine. Our breaths mingle, and I can't help the noises that leave my lips when Brian cups my behind and guides my movements. The frenzied rhythm is what makes me lose it. I cry out and fall apart under Brian's scorching gaze.

It takes a couple of quick, measured thrusts for Brian to do the same. His beautiful body shakes with the intensity of his release. His chest rises and falls fast, and his heart rate doesn't slow down until several minutes have passed.

I let Brian move out of me and watch him go to the bathroom. He wraps me in his arms as soon as he's back in bed.

Our eyes, hands, and lips do the talking. We smile at each other after yet another kiss and stare at the fake stars dotting the bedroom ceiling.

They seem to glow brighter, and I let go of my worries, if only for tonight.

I manage to forget about everything. Everything but us.