Losing sleep over a girl is a first for me.

I sit on the windowsill chain-smoking and staring at Kitten's house, wishing she were in my bed.

I contemplate climbing into her bedroom through her window and sleeping with her, but then smack my stupid head. It would make me look clingy. We spent all day together, and here I am, wanting more.

What the fuck has she done to me? Her girl must have bewitched my boy cause I can still feel Kitten's kisses on my neck and her heat on my fingers.

The dudes who invented Viagra should consider coming up with an anti-boner pill because the boy got more than one night rub, and that did very little to satisfy him. After what Kitten and I did in the woods, my hand is a poor substitute for the real thing. And fuck if it wasn't real.

I think about how beautiful she looked coming for me and how she went from hating me to trusting me enough to allow me to touch her. I was the first guy who did that, and I hope it was great.

What if it wasn't?

The other chicks could have lied. What if Leah said it was amazing to make me feel good?

I suck at dating, and now I owe Jim, who saved my ass by suggesting the hot-air balloon shit. For a guy who's never dated, my big bro is resourceful. I wanted something special Leah would remember because what Bella did still makes me feel guilty. No guy wants the girl he likes to hear about his past hookups, and least of all from a chick he used to screw.

I groan and toss the half-burned cigarette into the ashtray by my side. I should quit as Mac did. It was for Annie, but that crap is bad, and I admire the dude for having enough willpower to stick to his decision not to smoke.

What if Kitten doesn't like the smoke and is disgusted by my kisses? She said they were average so many times it makes me wonder.

I slide off the windowsill and go to bed. Leah's on my mind when I close my eyes. I imagine her naked on my bike with her legs wrapped around me and her lips on my neck like today.

That's how I know I won't be able to sleep.

After my fifth attempt to stop thinking about Kitten and fall asleep, I gave up, got dressed, and decided to do Pops' paperwork at barely eight a.m.

Dad's one hell of a mechanic, but the mess he creates on his desk out of nowhere is impressive.

I shuffle to the garage like a zombie, clutching a mug with steaming coffee.

At first, I think my eyesight is playing tricks on me, but what I see is real — a dude is at the entrance, leaning against his motorbike and yawning. It's oddly comforting to know I wasn't the only sleepless one last night.

"Can I help you?" I ask.

The guy jolts upright and stares at me. "Yeah, please. If you're a mechanic. Are you?"

I nod and take a few steps toward him to see his bike better. Dry dirt coats the wheels as well as the front and rear fenders — he must've ridden a lot without giving his Harley much rest.

"We open at nine, but since you're already here, I'll take a look at your bike. Come with me."

I unlock the shop and stroll in, flicking the light switch on the go. The man follows me, dragging his bike along with him.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Sorry, what's your name?"

"Brian."

He extends his hand. "Alec."

"Nice to meet you," I say, shaking it. "So, the Harley won't start, am I right?"

"How did you know?"

I chuckle. "Why else would you be here so early? Don't worry; I'll check it and tell you what the problem is."

Alec nods. He's quite young, probably in his thirties, but the shadows under his eyes and his wrinkled clothes make me wonder where he's going and where he came from.

I go to get the things I need to diagnose the problem. My lack of sleep makes itself known — the heavy box full of metal tools falls off the shelf, and wrenches and screwdrivers clatter as they hit the floor.

Immediately, Alec throws himself onto the ground, palms pressed to his ears, and I rush to him.

"Hey, are you okay?" I say, putting my hand on his shoulder as I crouch down by his side. My eyes roam his body, looking for injuries.

Alec pants and nods, scrambling to his feet. "I am. I'm sorry."

Seeing my puzzlement, he adds, "I suffer from PTSD. Sorry if I scared you."

"It's okay," I say, throwing the scattered tools into the notorious box. "Army?"

"Yeah. I spent too many years in war zones, but I'm not a soldier. I'm a doctor. A surgeon, to be exact. Well, I used to be."

"And now?"

"Now, I'm back home for a while. I'll travel again soon, but not with the army anymore. I decided to do something different for my mind's sake. There's an organization that sends doctors where they're needed — areas hit by natural disasters, developing countries — you name it. It's not easy, but our job never is."

"I see," I say, inspecting Alec's Harley. "You fix people; I fix bikes. Well, I know what's wrong. The push start is broken, but it shouldn't take me too long to repair it. "

Alec lets out a long breath. "Thank God. And thank you, Brian. By the way, you're college age, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I'm turning nineteen in a week."

Alec scratches his chin. "You were fast figuring out the problem with my bike. We need people who are good at mechanics and logistics. Who knows, maybe you'd like that. I'm going to give you my card just in case."

He extends the small rectangle to me. I take it not to be disrespectful and smile. "I'm good where I am, but thank you."

***

Alec leaves close to noon. I also cleaned his Harley and did basic maintenance so he could ride to the city without any problems.

When Pops arrives at the garage, I go to see Mac because he doesn't have lots of clients at lunchtime today, and we can chat.

Someone I'd rather not run into is at the gym when I arrive. Although Bella is a member, she hardly ever goes there to work out, but today is an exception.

She sees me at the same time I see her and walks up to me, swaying her hips more than necessary. My blood boils, and I spin on my heel, eager to get the fuck out of there.

Bella grips my arm. "Brian."

"What the fuck do you want?" I say through gritted teeth, facing her. "Do you really think what you did was okay, and I'd just ignore it?"

"I told the truth."

"It wasn't yours to tell. Now fuck off and get out of my way."

"All because of the goody-two-shoes virgin, huh?"

I laugh, looking at the gym ceiling. "You're pathetic. You have Gavin, so move on and stop making shit hard for Leah."

Bella smirks and cups me through the gym shorts I'm wearing. "Your Leah doesn't know how to handle this. She's not gonna give you what you need."

I swat her hand away and step back. "Have some dignity. I feel nothing for you, and I'm in a relationship. Accept it for once."

Bella rolls her eyes. "I get it— she's a shiny new toy."

Rage clouds my vision. "Get. The. Fuck. Out."

"Okay, okay." Bella raises her arms. "You're not relationship material anyway. Don't fool yourself thinking otherwise."

As soon as she leaves, I press my forehead to the wall, my breaths ragged. The ringing in my ears becomes louder, and my temples throb.

Mac drops the dumbbells he was rearranging on a rack and rushes to me, concern etched into his expression.

"Come on, Bri. Why don't we get out of here?"