Blurred headlights obscured by steadily flowing tears filled my line of sight, and while the hand on my thigh was comforting and reassuring, Eli's presence didn't eradicate what I'd just learned. I hadn't spoken a single word since he'd helped me into his car at the party.

It wasn't like I was catatonic, though that might've been the better option considering the destructive force of the truth that had volleyed myself into oblivion just minutes before Eli had found me.

The catharsis that would've come with a complete catatonic state would've shredded my mind and everything that came with it-all the lies, the pain, the truth...something I both wished I could never remember yet never forget at the exact same time.

"Are you cold? You're shivering."

I hadn't noticed, I was too wrapped up in wishing things that would never come true.

Almost half of my life, I'd blamed one man for my mother's death, and he was sitting in a jail cell serving a life sentence for vehicular manslaughter and murder one, because he had been a drunk driver. But had he?

Had my father somehow figured out a way to game the system and pay off the entire legal system surrounding my mother's death and his paralysis, all while in the hospital?

Eli's hand squeezed my thigh as I realized I hadn't responded to his question.

"No, I'm fine," I said, wincing as I took in the raw gruffness of my voice.

"We're almost to the dorms. You can stay with me, if you want? My roommate won't be there and-"

"Yes, please." There was no way I could've faced Hazel and Bea in the state that I was in.

Pulling in, the beam of headlights illuminated the imposing dorm structure, and it was an entire blur from Eli's towering figure opening my door and ushering me inside to him opening the door to his room and following me inside, locking me in.

At first, all I could do was take in the small squat room, similar to my own despite the fact that instead of three beds there were only two, a futon sofa in place of the third twin bed space.

Standard issue light oak desks matched the frame of the twin beds, and while the area screamed that a guy lived there, it wasn't overtly messy with week old pizza slices stuck to the ground or questionable socks stuck to the wall.

Instead, a large brown bookshelf occupied the back half of the wall, a lone basketball hoop strapped to the back of the door and UCM garb splashed across the walls.

Eli gravitated towards the bed on the right, and I took his lead and sat at the edge, glad that he'd only turned on a nearby lamp instead of the harsh overhead lighting that would've flooded the room in fluorescents.

"Do you want to talk, or...?"

Standing there dressed impeccably and smelling even better, I wondered what the hell I was doing. Just a few minutes before my breakdown, he'd not only proven that he'd broken my trust, but that he'd told Maddie about what had been happening with my father, as well.

"I- this is a mistake. I shouldn't have come here." I stood up, hands in my hair as I contemplated how far the walk would take back to my dorm on the other side of the campus.

"Wait," he stopped me, a hand on my elbow, green eyes pleading with me. "Please."

Why did that damn gravitational pull have to occur right then and there, when I was still so angry with him but so exhausted and ready to spill over and explode?

"Why should I? After what happened earlier? I know you told Maddie what's going on with my dad, and you knew that he was going to report my car stolen, and you didn't tell me? This- whatever this is between us, I don't know, I can't do it. Not after that."

I yanked my elbow from his grip, desperately wishing the tingles his touch left in its wake would disappear, but just before I made it to the door, suddenly he was standing in front of it, blocking me from leaving.

"Just hear me out, please? I didn't tell Maddie anything, she was listening in on my call with your father. And he didn't tell me anything about reporting your car stolen, just that you wouldn't have your car for a while, so I thought he'd already told you not to drive it or something, I swear!"

The deep baritone of his voice did nothing to stop the quell of butterflies that rose in my gut as hope grew inside of me, the hope that maybe what he was saying was the truth. But I'd been hurt far too many times to trust the first thing out of someone's mouth.

"And why should I believe you? I barely know you. Why don't we just cut our losses and go our separate ways? Maddie clearly wants to be with you, why don't you-"

"I don't want to be with Maddie! I don't even want to say her name, let alone think about her. You're the only one I can't get off my mind."

My lips parted as a breath got lodged in my throat.

"And I don't care about how long we've known each other. What I do care about is you, and I'm not afraid to tell you that. Are you? Is that why you're running?"

"I am not running," I argued defiantly, jutting my chin out at his accusation as he stepped ever closer, our breaths mingling as he dipped his head down low to my level.

"That's not what it looks like to me. What are you so scared of?"

His nose brushed mine, and I could barely suck in a breath deep enough to inflate my lungs. He was so close, too close. His fingers reached down and tangled with my own, so gently that it was as if his were only feathers brushing lightly along my skin.

"That you're lying," I ground out breathlessly. "Just like everyone else always does. Why would you want- why are you even here with me? What's the point?"

"What's the point? Did you seriously just ask me that? The point, V, is that I like you. Maybe a little too much, already, but that's the damn truth and I'll stand by it. But what's your truth? What's got you so scared?"

My chest rose and fell rapidly, trying and failing to pull in the deep breaths that would clear the smoke from my vision and the static from my head but all I got was a swarm of angry locusts in my stomach and a case of vertigo that could knock an elephant off its feet.

I swayed and Eli reached out, hands encircling my waist, his large hands fitting perfectly, almost like they were always meant to hold me there.

"I- I'm not scared," I tried, but the truth got lodged in my throat, much like the air I was trying to move past my lips but never made the trip.

"Then why are you so freaked right now? You can talk to me."

Soothing circles were painted delicately across my skin with his hands, his fingers artful brushstrokes while the panic subdued from his touch.

"What if we don't talk, and do something else instead?"

His features darkened, pupils expanding to fill out almost his entire iris and the gentle soothe of his hands were replaced by something with a more lustful intent, his hands gripping the sides of my hips possessively whereas before they'd been comforting.

"What did you have in mind?"

Even the lilt of his voice had changed, and while I knew the conversation would need to be had sooner rather than later, the fact of the matter was that I wanted him and he wanted me, and I just wanted something, one damn thing, to be uncomplicated in my life and I would will that one thing to be Eli.

Even if my dad was his coach. Even if he was talking to my dad. Even if what had happened with Maddie was a misunderstanding...

My hands were around his neck before I could finish my last thought, lips pressed against his as a murmur of approval hummed out of him in response.

The electric feel of his skin on mine was a welcome distraction from the pain of the night, and while I knew I wasn't using him, a part of me still felt guilty for denying the inevitable facing of my past, but then his fingers pushed past the barrier of my shirt and his skin was on mine and all thoughts of the disastrous night faded to the background until all there was room for in my head was Eli.

Eli, as he filled my senses with that delectable strong cologne that danced along his clothing until it rubbed off on me, turning my foggy mind into a damn cloud bank that even a jet liner couldn't fly above.

Skin singing his praises as his hands skittered along my hips underneath my top, the callouses on his hands left a trail of chills in their wake and while he was once the one against the door, our positions suddenly changed as my back hit the door, reaching desperately to grasp onto Eli.

One leg, then the other became wrapped around his waist, and then his weight pushed me up against the door while my fingers got lost in his hair and my mouth on his lips.

Tugging, teasing, searching, his mouth was warm and crushing against mine, not a light and gentle kiss I'd have expected from him just moments after his attempts to calm me down. He realized my need to chase away the demons, if only for a few moments, and he decided to help.

Maybe we shared a few demons, too, I wondered idly as my fingertips once more traced the raised edges of his scars on his back, noting that in our flourish his shirt had already left him.

Rugged and cut, his muscles dipped and curved as skin laid over the sharpness of his shoulder blades, muscles tensing when my pointer finger brushed over a particularly jagged scar, and then his hands were at my hemline, tugging my shirt up and over my head.

Lips dragging down my neck, teeth grazing skin as they made their way down to the curve of my chest, I squirmed in his hold to help him reach his destination and then my hands were behind me, trying to help him unclasp my bra, and when it did finally fall away to the ground, his mouth parted and eyes widened as he took in the sight of my completely bare chest, something he'd yet to see as the last time we'd been this close, I'd kept the bra on.

And then his lips were plump against my skin once more, dragging down until they encircled over their destination and I let out a strangled cry as his teeth ever so gently landed over the most sensitive part of them, tugging and nipping at the skin while I whimpered and withered to his pleasure pain.

My head fell back against the door as he did the same to the other, but then it was time for his hands to do a little wandering.

My own slid down his chest to the waistband of his jeans while his found the top button of mine. While his was obstructed by a belt, mine were not, and he was easily able to slip his hand inside the front waistband and what followed next could only be described as sheer torture of blissful proportions.

Eyes hooded and crinkled at the edges when his lips turned up in a half smile, Eli held me in place while his hand did things I had no idea hands could do, swirling, pinching, and thrusting in and out while all I could do was hold on and ride out the wave that was ready to topple over me.

I fumbled with his belt until finally it came open and my hand slid down into his pants, not surprised when I found him hard and at the ready when I did so.

He hissed out a breath through his teeth when I began to stroke him to the same rhythm that he was working over on me, and wordlessly we both brought our lips together, mouths in a battle of wills of who would fall first to the other's touch.

Desperate to reach the peak of my own pleasure, I ground my hips to the staccato beat of his hand against me while Eli groaned into my mouth when my hand found its own rhythm that he seemed to deeply enjoy, and the moment I broke away from his lips and pulled his signature neck kissing move, he stiffened, fastening his pace against me as his orgasm overtook him.

Just as he fell over the edge of his own release, he didn't let up on me, and the sheer force of his hand against me and those damn skilled fingers, I arched into his touch, pressing him harder, deeper, until a shuddered breathy moan left my throat and my nerves exploded, stomach clenching, body stiff and coiled as the ripples expanded throughout my body until I grew limp and boneless in his arms.

Wordlessly, he carried me in long strides to his bed, laying me gently on his pillows that smelled of him and disappeared in the connecting bathroom before emerging with a clean rag and grabbed one of his shirts from his dresser.

Climbing onto the mattress beside me, I was about to make a joke about how much he hung off the end of the twin sized bed before he scooped me up in his arms and cleaned us both up, the act so endearing my eyes burned.

With Jared, it had always been sex and then goodbye, no cuddling afterwards and definitely no foreplay, and this was something he never would've done.

Rag thrown through the basketball hoop on the door, because, why not (?), Eli sat me up and helped me tug his enormous t-shirt across my frame and then I was back in his arms once more, the weight of the world suddenly back on my shoulders.

"I know that was a damn good distraction, but are you ready to talk yet? I'm pretty stubborn, so you know I'm not letting go how upset you were tonight. You don't have to talk to me, just someone. I need to make sure you're alright."

His words while whisper light, did nothing to stop the racing of my heart and panic that threatened to rip through and destroy everything we'd just done.

I turned over to face him on my side, finding him in a similar position.

"Or maybe you want to hear me talk first? We've got all night, you know."

I cracked a smile.

"Oh, so you want me to talk? Okay, I guess I'll go first. We can compare traumas."

"Traumas?"

"I guess we can start with my real dad. He died when I was five, and then my mom remarried a few years later to my step dad. He's the one who gave me the scars that I don't really like you touching."

He found my fingers beside me and pulled them to his shirtless back, drawing them over the scars he'd been talking about.

He didn't allow the sorrow or grief to wallow in his eyes, but I saw it, then, the mask had finally dropped and he was showing me him, the real him, and my heart absolutely broke, because somehow in the short time that I'd grown to know him, I'd realized that a piece of my heart already belonged to him.

I loved him, and that terrified me.

But my feelings were irrelevant, because he was telling me, and soon it would be my turn to tell him, so I listened, and I would be ready when it was my turn to do the same.