LUIS

You're only going to do her more harm than good.

You're only going to do her more harm . . . than good.

The words kept replaying inside my head since the day they were said.

I could drown the sorrow into a glass and the burn of the liquor down my throat would be no match for the ache in my chest. She looked at me, eyes moved over with no other emotion but regret over how far we came. And I curse each day I live with the guilt of knowing her aim to repudiate me was only a reaction to the past.

So here I sat once again for the third night in a row on the couch- in the dark. Powerless and unsure of what to do. There was no point it seemed to keep pushing and she was right, I had lodged myself into her life without her permission.

Why couldn't we have met in a different place and time or be in a world that was colour-blind,

A world which didn't care about the contents of skin

and judged a person for what was within.

She'll probably despise me more when she sees what I did with her brother's book.

In the hate we will prosper

That phrase had been drummed into me by my father since the moment I began to talk. Began to comprehend more of what was around me. He used my small stature against me once going so far as to coerce me to turn against my own mother's will. Those were the very words that propelled me into my early days of youth to behave a certain way.

Lifting up my hand I trace the outline of a scar that sat on the side of my neck that nearly touched the edge of my face. I often found myself tracing this scar more often now. I used to cringe anytime I saw it staring back at me in a mirror considering the story behind it still too grim to recall. The night Tiana traced it with her fingers I was nervous and nearly collapsed in relief when she didn't ask me the story behind it.

But now. . . I wished she had. May be I could have used that moment to finally tell her.

Leaping up in surprise, I felt my heart beat erratically against my ribcage at the light switch being turned on. Turning abruptly in my seat at the intrusion I felt myself relax at the face of none other than my father and Rita.

"You know I'm almost disappointed that your body isn't in a ditch somewhere," my father lightly joked taking a seat on the chair directly in front of me. His warm, brown eyes meeting my gaze and despite the fact I was generally out of touch from my usual good mood, a small smile cracked along the edges of my lips at seeing his face. I knew that he didn't deserve any anger or contempt from me.

"Nice to see you too dad."

"Well I wish I could say the same. But knowing I have to go above and beyond to see my own son is a little fucked up, don't you think?" he inquired eyeing me carefully. Now that I thought about it, I felt bad for neglecting him a little. And now that mom had left, I knew I should have done a better job being around but there had been so much going on.

"Ease up on the kid, dad," Rita mumbled leaning against the wall smirking," it's not his fault he's got a social life."

"So just because he's been getting some action, that's his excuse for being so silent."

"I don't kno-"

"Save us the bullshit, Uncle Logan told us about you and Tiana," Rita replied shuffling further into the room to take a seat. I was floored and didn't know how to respond and settled on annoyance at Uncle Logan's inability to keep his mouth shut.

I could never count on him to keep anything to himself.

"Before you throw a fit, know that I saw this coming eventually. But having to find out about you two from Uncle Logan . . . of all people is a little much. I thought we were close," she muttered looking slightly disappointed.

And I could feel her judgment of me. I felt like such a child right now, so much so the only excuse my mind could conjure up was," I didn't think it was a necessary fact to disclose."

She gave me an incredulous look before rolling her eyes. My father remained silent narrowing his eyes on me. He was always observant of people's behaviour and though he was a man of few words. However, whenever he spoke- you felt it. At first I did everything in my power to chase him away from my mother, however, his persistency which now that I think about it, I picked up remained by her side. And instead of treating me with animosity, he gave me care. And in that time, all the evil words that once held me captive loosened around me to see there was more to the hate.

In the process of getting closer to him, I wound up avoiding my father like the plague- a plague that resurfaced years back only to destroy another family's lives.

I looked away from his penetrating gaze in shame at the wrong done." Whatever you're thinking about has really messed you up, huh?"

"There's no need to sugar coat the obvious, dad," she giggled lightly and when I looked at her I found her eyes beaming with amusement," you look like shit by the way."

"Gee thanks," I muttered acrimoniously to which she responded with a simple wink.

"Mind telling us why you're sitting here in the dark like some creep?" he asked stretching casually on the seat.

"Just some minor problems . . . nothing to worry about."

Rita began coughing profusely and I couldn't help rolling my eyes at how dramatic she was being whilst at the same time exposing me.

"Try that again, son."

Releasing a heavy sigh I rubbed the side of my neck, grazing the scar wondering where exactly to begin. There was a lot to say to him. Though we were close I had kept the reason why I came back home vague- leaving out the part that I returned to offer an apology.

"Just come clean, Lu," Rita groaned throwing her arms hysterically in the air. He gazed in her direction in question before he landed his orbs on me.

"I-I just . . . don't know where to start. . ." I chuckled humorously realizing that there was no other way to escape this," do I begin by giving a detailed account of how I planned on simply giving an apology wrapped in honesty only to fall for a woman," I swallowed hard to reduce the chances of my voice trembling in fear," a woman whose bound to hate me if she found out the truth."

He pursed his lips standing up to his full height to tower over me and came to sit beside me patting my shoulder lightly," You know when you told me you were finally coming back- I had a feeling it had something to do with the incident. In as much as we try to push the past down, it's affected our future in a way."

"I just wish we could go back in time," I sighed staring at the ground in defeat of what I should do.

Wished we could go back, where instead of giving that sad excuse of a man the time of day. .

I could have gone to the police- o-or seen the gun he had hidden away

If I had known that he had it on him- I could have taken it

If only I had been there when he was about to commit that crime

I found myself landing back to earth at the feel of a hand giving my shoulder another gentle squeeze," That's not how life works, son."

I know, but there's nothing wrong with thinking about it.

"I understand your need for closure with them. But why do you think she'll hate you. You weren't there when her brother was killed."

"But I should have never taken my dad's call; I'm the one who was an idiot to believe he had changed. . . "

I felt my armour crack.

Felt the tears fill my eyes.

Knowing I had a chance to change the outcome.

It surprised me when he called wanting to discuss something with me.

I was a fool to still hold hope within my frame- was a fool to go see him in the hopes he had changed.

Only to see- I was wrong.

And in a fit of anger that blinded me I left vowing to never see his face again. Only for that vow to be broken when the very next day his face was splayed across every screen

Stating his sins.

"It wasn't your fault. And I refuse to allow you to think that his actions were yours."

"Bu-"

"Listen to me," his voice came out firmer as he eyed me carefully and I felt compelled to look him in the eye. Meeting the fiery brown orbs that only ever burned that way when he was furious," It. Wasn't. Your. Fault," he stressed each word.

"Lu," Rita breathed,". . . you're not that same hateful kid we met all those years back. The love and care you now have for not only your family but for others- that's something that would take others a long time to ever fully grasp. Yes . . . we still live in a world that believes in inferiority and one of said people just happened to be your father. But it doesn't mean you are anything like him."

"You better stop beating yourself over this. It's been years but I won't lie. . ." he paused briefly, jaw clenched in unabashed rage given the way his shoulders tensed," it hurts when people are so blinded by prejudice they go out of their way to bring pain to others. It's like they believe in our mother's womb we were all given a choice to choose which shade best fit us. I never chose to be born the colour I am."

"You know, he used to say to me' in the hate we will prosper'. . . but after you opened your arms to me and didn't turn me away despite how hard I tried," I chuckled not bothered in the least by the tears making a silent path along the surface of my skin as my gaze switched between their faces," I realized . . . it's only through love. Sounds corny I admit but there's a beauty in us being different, a kind of magic if you will in the different shades."

"And if you think about it," Rita smiled shifting forward," a rainbow wouldn't be as breath-taking if it was made up of the same colour."

"May be that's the vision God had when he made humanity," my dad laughed shaking his head before he nudged my arm causing a smile to form once again on my face.

The comfortable, warm silence sunk in. People could say what they want, criticize all they wanted but I loved them. When I felt like rubbish they were there to pick me up and provide solace to the dark thoughts.

"You need to stop moping around in the dark and go get her," he mumbled. I looked at him taking note of his smirk along with the odd look Rita was giving me and felt myself dying to cower away.

"I wasn't moping," I replied weakly, both were unconvinced and no longer able to bear their looks I stood up prepared to leave the room when another voice in my head ridiculed me for trying to appear unaffected by the thought of her when I was losing my mind.

"That denial isn't going to take you anywhere. And overthinking isn't the best option. Especially when it comes to the person your affection prefers to lay to itself to rest with in this life. And when you find someone who can make even your worst days seem okay, is a gift"

"She wants nothing to do with me, dad."

"If all that Rita told me was correct, when she hated your guts that didn't seem to stop you. You've come all this way- hell nearly risked getting arrested for the stunt you pulled in your car," he smirked and I had to bite the inside of cheeks to disrupt the smile begging to make its across my lips and probably tint my cheeks at the blush dying to creep in. "Take my advice if you like, but no relationship is without its flaws. The only thing that will matter is the strength you have to fight and if she's managed to affect you this much then that has to tell you something."

I nodded my head. No words seemed appropriate to say at the clarity he had offered. He had basically revived the hope in me. That maybe . . . just maybe if I fought a little more to show her just how willing I was to be understanding and keep nurturing her fears that we could make it. That love could rescue anybody- it certainly rescued me.