LUIS

Standing here on the pavement thoughts once tightly packed away unfolding. I stuffed my hands into my pockets second guessing this. Once again I fell into the thoughts that as of late made me distraught.

May be we plunged ourselves too soon into the lust into the passion?

To lead us into this phase of awkwardness. Anytime I went to see her mother and she happened to be there she'd vacate the room so fast I secretly wondered if she did track in high school. In as much as I kept the details to a minimum with her mother, she was an observant person. And the way her eyes lit up in question at the way Tiana and I acted; I knew she had an idea. But she wouldn't say anything and if I'm honest her company had slowly become another comfort for me.

The first few days I was patient and understanding. But with each tick on the clock, I found myself lying in the dark facing the torturous heat of that passionate memory. I avoided my car along with Uncle Logan's calls like the plague.

And as of late another thought of fear erupted inside me with the texts I began to receive once again. This time filled with specific details that only my father would know which made me, often in the late hours of the night wonder around in the dark at the endless possibilities that he wasn't in jail anymore. But it just wasn't making sense.

All the things in my life weren't making that much sense except for what I felt for Tiana and yet she wasn't allowing me to be in close proximity to her. She was denying me the chance to express my feelings. That's why with the little sleep I got, I moved on wobbly legs into her path hoping to collide into her and be near her. I stood willingly outside her workplace out of fear of getting into another altercation with the security guard.

May be if I left now, got tipsy and showed up at her doorstep, it'll force her to finally face-

"I thought you said you'd give me space."

I looked up, words involuntarily as if it were upon instinct twisting right down into my gut, making the very act of breathing harder at the sway in her hips. My reaction towards her was always like that and despite having a taste of her the need only intensified.

She came and stood before me, hostility in her eyes. Despite the bags around them they still possessed enough momentum to make anyone scared. But the fire simmering only lured me in further.

And without a thought I yanked her by the arm. Caught off guard by my actions I wrapped my arms around her waist keeping her close enough I could feel her breathe.

"So beautiful. . ." I mumbled lowly into her ear," beauty seductive enough to leave me willing to get on my knees and worship you."

She shuddered at the light peck on her ear and cleared her throat," You think saying sweet nothings in my ear will make me overlook the promise you broke," she breathlessly muttered shifting her head further to the side to grant my hungry lips more access across her neck.

"I never made any promises to you that day Tiana. And now that I think about it. . . I'm glad I didn't."

As if a light switch went off in her head, she moved away to look up at me, making me nearly glower at the reduction in contact." I'm being serious here, Luis."

"So am I. The last time we spoke was days ago- more than enough time for us to get our thoughts in order, don't you think?"

"No," she replied firmly placing her hands on the frame of my chest applying pressure. I knew she wanted me to let her go and given the fact I hadn't bothered to remove my arms from her waist, she frowned.

I had prepared myself for the anger from her. If there's one thing I learnt about Tiana- it was this, she used her anger as a defence mechanism. And I wasn't going to stand for it, not now- not ever. Not when it seemed someone was out there terrorizing me. And I felt now more than ever to say something to her and just be near her.

No one else knew about what happened between us, Rita hadn't said anything to me which means Tiana had kept the details of that night to herself.

But we really have to figure out where this thing was going.

So tightening my hold on her, past the daggers she threw I muttered lowly as if the very words were some secret for us two," Let's talk this out. Figure out where we'll go from here."

***

"This cat and mouse game has gotten pretty old," I said leaning against her doorframe keeping a steady gaze on her profile as she stood before me. She pursed her ruby painted lips making tremors ripple throughout my hands that began itching to pull her in.

And I swallowed down the little resistance praying to my stars that things would flow smoothly in some way.

"You're the one who sees this thing as a ga-"

"I want you in my life, Tiana," I interjected ensuring my voice came out firm. Not feeling the least bit ashamed to display where my thoughts lied when it came to her.

"As what?" she asked crossing her arms as her brow quirked.

She really wasn't going to make this any easier for me, but all along this was the dance we had chosen. It wouldn't be right to depart from it when the stakes were higher.

I had to see this through and the way I had grown attached to her when that wasn't the initial case often amazed me. In my eyes she became a lot more to me.

This little spit fire, past all the anger and pain bestowed onto her path had become. . .

"My woman," I said reaching out to stroke the naked part of her arm not covered by her sleeve and wrapped my hand tentatively in the hopes she wouldn't pull me away.

She looked away to stare at the ground.

Not a good sign- she always did that when she was hiding something

"There are a lot of things I'm trying to figure out," she murmured lowly.

"So let's figure it out together," I responded stepping more into her space. She looked up at me, an innocence radiating off of her that weakened me.

"You've broken me down. Made the dark memories turn into some symphony until all I began breathing was light," were the words she said.

And its official- she's torn me apart and put me back together again

"But. . ." she paused once her voice broke, running a hand through her hair to stare up at me, the exhaustion she seemed to be carrying on her shoulders more evident as her lip shivered," I-I can't. . . forget. Someone- Someone just like you took my brother away."

Tears silently fall down her cheeks, cracking each part to cause an ache in my chest. And I felt my heart increase its pace in guilt.

"You asked me to see you as the good guy," she bit her lip, eyes shining as they bore into mine," and I want t-to- I really do . . . bu-"

"I should have known something was going on between you two," another voice interjected. We both turned to find the man I had met, the one who didn't like me scowling at the both of us.

"Nat-"

"Why are you crying? Did this asshole have anything to do with it?" he marched up the stairs seizing me up. And in as much as I would have done the same, I was in no mood to start any fights.

Especially in front of her.

"He didn't do anything," she muttered standing between the both of us." We were just talking that's all."

"You know I thought if I gave you space that this weird phase would pass. But I knew I should have spoken to you a lot sooner."

"Nathan-" she began only to have her cut him off.

"Nah, Tiana," he shook his head in disapproval," I've been more than understanding of everything. Been understanding of the fact you pushed us out but now- you're moving around as if all that happened in the past. . . was nothing."

She looked away in shame speaking in a small voice," I know."

"Have you even gone to visit his grave?"

That question led to a deafening silence, the shame became more apparent as each second passed in this uneasy predicament. When she didn't reply choosing instead to silently cry, Nathan scoffed squaring his jaw in indifference at her reaction.

Unable to bear seeing her like this I laid a hand on her shaking frame in the hopes of calming her down. However, when she moved away as if just minimal contact from me was enough to scorch her skin- hurt me.

And the hardened look she gave me appealed to the soft side in me, that was ready to plead with her to see that she wasn't at fault in any of this.

"I think you should leave," she mumbled lowly to me setting in motion a surge of panic.

"W-Wait, let's talk thi-"

"She asked you to leave," Nathan snapped advancing towards us up the steps.

"I wasn't talking to you!" I objected allowing my annoyance to show at his unwanted intrusion on our private moment. When he made a move to respond, Tinana raised her hand cutting him off.

"I can handle this Nathan!"

Although he gazed in my direction and glared, the way she was fuming made him keep his mouth shut. I had seen her upset before but this was a whole new level where I was surprised smoke wasn't coming out of her ears. Lips set in a thin line, eyes blazing; I felt trepidation at the look.

"Leave. . ." she breathed squaring her jaw past the tears making her eyes glow further emphasizing the sadness and pain in them," just go."

Please . . . don't do this.

"No," I shook my head profusely as if that would make the words coming out of her mouth seem like some nightmare some dark forces fabricated out of cold satin sheets to suffocate me," I'm. Not. Leaving."

"Damn it, Luis! Why me?!"

I froze.

Stuck as the words I had rehearsed to say failed to slip past my lips as I stood feeling my feet grow more into lead as she stared at me. The more seconds that passed, the more the disappointment began to show in her eyes as she crossed her arms no longer willing to look me in the eye.

Just say it.

Just.

Say.

It.

And all I could do was swallow the painful lump in my throat. . .

"Am I just some fascination for you, huh?" she snapped stalking menacingly in my direction,". . . did you decide to take pity on me. . ."

At first pity- but I swear that's all changed.

"Ohhh the poor lonely girl who has no one else in her life- maybe I can give her just a little attention," her voice came out this time as a whisper, the impact of her words ripping away at me.

"That's not how I see you, T," I replied feeling small under her gaze," I-I . . . just want you."

"Tiana," Nathan cut in giving her a hard scowl, I watched on dejectedly as she glanced in his direction and I wished for the life of me I could understand the silent conversation they were having.

Until her teary eyes turned to me," I'm sorry, Luis . . . this thing goes beyond us two. I can't forget any of it and I can't keep being around you now. . ." she paused prolonging the torture at knowing the porcelain heart I had unintentionally handed her was being stepped on by her heels as she said," but it was a mistake falling for the enemy."

"T-"

"For god sake- for once could you just listen to me!" she snapped pushing past me without another glance to ever consider giving us a chance. And I watch on from a screen defeated as she opens the door and just before its closed Nathan's eyes land on me.

"You're only going to do her more harm than good," he spat closing the door before I could even say anything.

Leaving me to stand on her doorstep making me yearn to go back to the night she allowed me in. . . .