'Why would you save me? I'm not worth saving'

I know today is the day that Tyson is meeting with The Lost Souls again. I tried to keep myself busy, but the agonising questions in my mind would still torment me. I give up and head to his house after three in the afternoon. I know that he will most likely push me away again, but I need him to know that I can still be here for him. That we can get through this together.

He isn't home as I pull up to his, but I can wait. I knew I would be doing the same thing from my home too, and this way I can be here as soon as he does get back. I scroll aimlessly through social media, before falling to sleep in my car.

I wake disoriented to the sound of his bike pulling up beside me, I quickly wipe my mouth and look for my phone. 5:06pm. Why did that take so long? He doesn't look at me as he hops off his bike, removing his helmet as he heads for the door. My heart sinks.

He doesn't even want to see me, how bad was today? I fumble for my car door, and quickly make my way after him. "Tyson," I call a little urgently.

He doesn't turn around as he unlocks his apartment.

"Tyson, I want to be here for you, can you tell me about today?"

"You shouldn't be here, I told you to leave," he says and it scares me how little emotion there is to his voice.

"You should be learning by now how stubborn I am."

He leans his head against the door with his hand still on the key. His other hand is holding the helmet, how desperately I want to reach out and touch him. To hopefully dissolve some of his pain with that touch.

"It's not safe for you to be around me."

"Can you at least look at me?"

He slowly turns around, and as he does; I can see his white shirt splattered with blood. "What happened?" I whisper.

"Please, please will you just go," he says defeated. One tear slides down his cheek, and my heart slides with it.

I reach for his face, but he pulls back. I reach again, and this time he doesn't stop me. "Tyson, you need me here. Don't you get it? I'm the one that can pull you back when things are lost, the one to hold your hand when you feel alone. Tyson, let me be the light in your darkness," I keep my hands on his face as I bare my heart to him.

"To save me?" He chokes.

I nod my head.

"You won't like the cost."

"I will never stop reminding you that your soul is worth saving," I breathe.

He sucks in a quick breath before rushing his lips to mine. I take them gratefully, opening my mouth to his desperate need for me, and I for him.

It had only been a week since we had last been like this, but a week is like a lifetime when it feels like you have lost a part of yourself.

He pushes his door open, dropping his helmet on the ground as he continues to kiss me, he keeps walking me as his lips move greedily from my mouth down to my neck. He bumps into his bed and I giggle into his smiling mouth. No obstacle would stop us, as my hands urgently remove his shirt; he quickly does the same for me and unclasps my bra with one hand.

He leads us to his bathroom, where he breaks away from me to turn the shower on, we both take in each other, left in nothing but our skinny jeans. His fingers begin to unbutton my jeans as my hands do the same for his. I shimmy mine down as he places a hand under the stream, making sure the water is warm enough, before stepping out of his jeans and briefs.

He pulls me into the shower with him, pinning me against the wall as the water falls over us. I move my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he supports me with the help of the tiled wall. He pushes inside me slowly, both of us groaning loudly. One week without him is too long.

"Bella I will always need this," he breathes as he moves in and out of me.

I hum my approval.

I love the feeling of the warm water running between our kissing.

His fingers dig into my ass and I realise he is getting close, "It feels so good like this."

I also realise it's the first time we haven't used a condom.

"Are you on any contraception?"

"Yes," the word getting caught on a moan.

"Let me cum inside you?" He asks. He stops moving as his coffee eyes stare into mine. Both of us breathing heavy as he waits for my answer.

I nod my head slowly, hypnotized by the way he is looking at me.

"You sure?" He whispers.

"I want to feel all of you," I say as I bring his mouth back to mine.

He continues to move inside me as our mouths taste one another, he goes faster and the pleasure is too much to keep kissing. Instead, we breathe and moan together as my orgasm builds. "Tyson," I cry out. He groans loudly before slowly stopping his movements.

We rest our heads together with closed eyes as our chests rise and fall rapidly. He lowers me back down after some time and then washes my body. I can feel the remnants of him sliding down my legs as the fear begins to prickle my heart.

We shouldn't have done that.

"Hey," he grabs my face to look at me. "What are you thinking?"

"About her," I whisper, the tears itching the corners of my eyes.

"Are you worried about it happening again?" His eyes are so soft with concern.

"No, last time I wasn't on anything, we were at a party and..."

"It's okay, I understand; do you want to talk about her?" He asks cautiously.

I shake my head.

"Okay," he whispers before turning off the tap.

We dry ourselves and head to his bed, I had become so use to sleeping in his shirts now, even when we didn't see each other for a week. It is now my comfort; kind of like poetry is for Tyson. He lights up a smoke straight away, and I know that is something we will have to work on when the time is right. Now, I know that he needed them.

"Tell me about today?" I nuzzle into his side and stare up at his roof.

He blows some smoke into the air. "I had to beat up a guy for no reason," he says painfully. I know that he is reliving his day. "Then I had to clean all the bikes, stuff like that will happen until I am patched over."

I sit up to look at him. "You need to promise me that you won't just push me away every time it gets hard."

He stares at me sadly with his cigarette hanging from his lips. Then he taps his chest over his heart twice.

"What was that?" I whisper.

"It's how my family say I promise."

"Okay," I smile; thinking how much more I liked that than a pinkie promise. "Also promise me that you will always be safe," I beg.

His eyes well with tears but they don't spill over. Slowly he taps his heart twice.