'Well you could lock me up in your heart

And throw away the key.

Won't you take me out of my head?'

Jessica's messages wake me up from my deep sleep, I stretch my back above the couch. Tate had asked me to move in for a bit to help with Jace and his nightmares. My phone reads 3:04am. I sigh, what the shit is wrong with this chick? I block her number before anymore crazy texts can pop through.

It had been just over a week now since I have seen Bella. She won't answer my texts or calls, I definitely felt a little bit empty without her, and those giant eyes that could see all of me. The abortion news was slightly shocking but it didn't bother me.

Her body, her choice.

She must think that I hate her now, but I don't. If anything, it's nice to know that maybe she is a little fucked up like me, not that I would want her to suffer; but it's like we could understand each other better. Unfortunately, she isn't giving me any chances to talk about how I really feel.

Just as my eyes begin to grow heavy, Jace's scream force them to rush back open. I rub at my face, and make my way to his room; turning on lights as I go. I heard Tate sneak out to see Charlotte at some time, so I knew tonight would be on me.

It's not easy seeing Jace this way, squirming above his bedsheet like he is in agony. Jace and Tate are like my brothers, if they are hurting, so was I. "Jace!" I yell but he doesn't wake.

I sit beside him, shaking his body and quickly moving out of the way as his fist attempts to collide with my face. "JACE!"

He wakes up confused. "Fuck, did I hit you?"

I shake my head, "you tried though."

"I'm sorry," he says shakily.

I place my hand on his sweaty shoulder. "It's not your fault," I say reassuringly. "What do you want to do now? Gym or scroll through pointless shows?" Jace was the same as Tate, neither of them could go back to sleep after a nightmare.

"How about a drive with metal blasting?" He rubs his eyes before looking at me.

"Sounds good."

I drive Jace's car with him in the passenger seat. I plug my phone in and let my most recent playlist run. We all like heavier music, I grew up with hard rock but metal came to us when we were in the orphanage together, at around thirteen.

A fast riff fills our ears before a hefty growl and drums blast through the speakers. "Who's this?" Jace asks numbly, but also slightly interested.

"This new German band called Buried Alive, the lead singer is a girl, she's a total boss."

"Heavier than some guys we listen to," I nod my head back even though Jace can't see me.

"Have you heard from Lillie at all?"

Jace sucks in a deep breath, "no; I can't reach out to her though. She needs to move on from me, I don't deserve her," his voice cracks at the end.

"Any girl would be lucky to have you, fucked up or not; you are a good person Jace."

The next day at rehearsals, Chantelle is finally back. She has a bandage on her nose and bruising under both of her eyes, so I'm guessing Bella took her friend stabbing her in the back well. In my opinion, she got off lucky. She makes no attempts to talk to me, and I also stay out of her way; I no longer wanted anything to do with her. I would be professional and that was it, she ruined something I thought I would never experience, and now her face is a constant reminder of what she broke.

That night after hours of practice, Jace and Lillie have a fight when Lille came to get the rest of her stuff, so Tate and I watch movies together while we wait for Jace to get home. I hoped he had just gone to the gym, but the look on his face said otherwise.

I decide to send Chantelle a message, saying that if she wanted to try and make things right could she please give me Bella's address. I think I have checked my phone fifty times waiting for a reply. A friend that could do what she did, wasn't a friend that cared to make things right.

Jace comes back beaten, and Tate and I watch as he confesses to seeing and fucking Roxy again. Little by little, he is self-destructing in front of us, and without Lillie; I wasn't sure how to fix it.

The small vibration of my phone quickly has my eyes darting down, Chantelle has sent me the address! Seriously did not see that coming, but I wasn't going to complain.

"I'm going to go to bed," Tate says.

"You do that and I'm going to see a girl." I get up swiftly and send Bella a quick message.

The ride to hers is only seven minutes from Tate's house, but every second was painful. It is really late and she is probably going to slam the door in my face, but at least I would get to see her.

The apartment looks bigger than mine, not that it was hard for any house to be bigger than mine. A sensor light comes on as I get to the front door, I knock nervously five times.

A girl with messy silver hair and baggy pyjamas opens the door.

"Hi," I cough.

Her eyes go from tired to shock. She must know who I am. "Christ you're even hotter in person," she rubs at one of her eyes.

"Umm thank you?"

"It's fucking two am, what the shit are you doing here?"

"I need to see her."

She sighs while leaning on the door. "You can try, she is going to murder me though for letting you in;" she opens the door more for me to fit through. "I'm Anna by the way."

"Tyson," I shake her hand.

"Her room is that one," Anna points to a closed white door.

"Thanks," I mumble.

"Don't thank me yet, you need to convince her that she is worth loving," Anna says before walking to an open door.

Love...I wouldn't say we are there yet. I pretty much only love Tate and Jace, and that is years of friendship.

I knock softly on her door before walking in, her room is dark as my eyes begin to adjust, she turns on a lamp. Sitting up in her bed, with wavy dark hair and a loose-fitting shirt, her eyes watch me like she is trying to figure out if I'm really here.

I have also thought I had seen her ghost several times over the past week. "This is real," I say. "I'm here."