"A person's most useful asset is not a head full of knowledge, but a heart full of love, an ear ready to listen and a hand willing to help others" — Kotaku Wamura.

I pulled a face, excitement deflated at his subtle rejection...

You'll find out soon.

Yes. It felt like a rejection.

But then, it's not easy to just spill out all your secrets. That's why none of his closest friends nor his family knew about it. It's a restricted territory, story and I should wait until he's ready to share it.

But it left my mind bugged with so many questions.

Did he murder anyone?

Was he doing something illegal?

Does he have a child from previous affairs?

Cut it out, Clara Bell!

I heaved a deep sigh, scratching out all those unpleasant thoughts whirling in my brain.

It couldn't be.

Alex chuckled, breaking through my ugly thoughts.

Lifting one hand, he ran his index finger across my lips, with my bottom lip forward.

"Sorry, babe. But not right now..." he drawled. His eyes glinted with amusement and I sighed, a little exasperated.

That curiosity buzzing deep within me increased. Or perhaps his warm fingers that still touching my lips, with his eyes that was staring at me intensely with hunger. Raw and dark.

It's probably why I'm getting that buzzing inside of me.

No. It was the curiosity. And it's killing me right now.

"How about you? Do you have any secrets?" he pulled back his hand but his eyes still locked on mine. Mirth flitted over his serious features.

I fell into silence.

I do have a secret.

If anyone would hear it, whatever respect they held for me will surely die at the same time.

Alex cocked his head to the side, his lips tugged into an amused smile.

"I conclude, your silence means yes," he drawled sexily, the corner of his lips quirked into a roguish grin.

I can't say it. I'm gonna break a contract. But then he's my love. I know Brittany made that non-disclosure contract so it won't leak to the press and that's because she's very thoughtful of me, of my reputation.

She wanted me there, the very reason of that non-disclosure contract, which everyone who was present signed it.

I leaned back, and Alex quickly took one cushion from his side and placed it on my back, and I smiled.

He's so thoughtful.

"If you're not ready to tell, I won't pressure you," he smiled and I thought about it.

But then, there's this nagging feeling that he's probably wondering how I learned how to give a man, a head properly.

Thank goodness for Brittany's quirk and bluntness, not to mention her interest on pleasing a man. That thought made me smile unconsciously.

"What's so amusing?" I heard Alex asked, now his eyes was filled with curiosity.

I opened my mouth but no words came out. My mind still battling, should I share it?

I'm sure some of those quest on Brittany's 20th birthday blast had somehow shared to someone but it hasn't leaked yet.

I felt the heat creeping to my cheeks upon remembering that night.

It was the first time I had let go of that shy and reserved Clara Bell. It was the first time I enjoyed life to the fullest.

It was wild and crazy but fun.

"Go! Go! Go, Clara Bell!" The crowd cheered.

I was smiling unconsciously, cheeks red unknowingly and Alex's curiosity intensified.

It was Brittany's 20th birthday, and she rented an exclusive waterfront transient house in Malibu.

The party kicked off after sundown.

Brittany was with a lady lawyer at the entrance of the huge two story house (almost as big as a mansion) facing the water. Holding a stack of papers which was a Non-disclosure contract.

Each guest, had to sign it before entering the house. And all the guest was female models and her friends from University and cousins.

I find it odd but I didn't say anything.

I know she wanted me to be there. And she promised me what will happen on her birthday will stay between us and the guests.

It was also surprising knowing Brittany likes to study men. As she always said, men is like a mystery to her.

Which was absurdly funny.

And there's not a single man present. Even the caterers she hired was all females.

At first, it was all drinking and eating. Nothing seems odd until past midnight.

All of the guest, if not all was nearly plastered excluding me.

I was drinking too, slowly sipping so I wouldn't get wasted before the night ended.

Twizzled and out of my character, I laughed with Brittany's funny stories. Some danced with the non-stop music. And I did too, I danced freely with some of the girls, enjoying the party with cocktails.

We were at the upper floor of the huge house, on the balcony that could easily accommodate 50 people.

There's perhaps 30 or more guests.

"Alright, ladies!" Brittany suddenly stood on a chair, drawing everyone's attention to her.

Miraculously, the music stopped and all we could hear was the sound of the waves which was refreshing in my ears and relaxing.

"LET THE PARTY BEGIN!" she hooted and everyone hollered and hooted in excitement.

And there I thought the party was about to end, Brittany's cousins( Sidney, Katelyn and Joyce) appeared with a bunch of dildos of different hues on their hands.

"Meet our friends tonight," Brittany got off the wooden chair laughing.

The crowd broke into boisterous laughters while chanting 'give me some'.

Brittany walked over to her cousins, her shimmering, sleek mini dress clung to her curves like a second skin. She looked like a goddess destined to bewitch any man she comes across.

She took one long and large dildo, and I felt that flush settling on my cheeks once again but laughing, finding it hilarious at that moment.

I doubt I would feel the same if I'm not under any alcohol influence.

I was at the very front, I could hear the giggles and cackling behind me. One of them was Nemiah.

Brittany's eyes met mine, her eyes sparkled with mischief and I didn't like the glint of mirth sending my way.

"Clara Bell," she sing-song and I shook my head profusely but she just walked closer to me and took my hand.

"Tonight, you will be the enchantress Bell, and you my dear will be entertained with Mr...." she bit her lip as she paused.

I half frowning half smiling.

"Call him whatever you want," she winked at me, then handed me the nude coloured dildo.

My eyes wide as I stared at the thing on my hand. And the dildo felt like a real skin on my palm.

Holy Moly!

I freaked out inside but also excited at the same time.

But then, I was plagued with so many questions as what am I to do with that embarrassing yet tempting fake cock on my hand.

Brittany finally handed the ten dildos to ten guests. The rest will act as the judge.

Brittany explained the rules and as she finished her speech, I picked up nothing other than just give the lifeless cock a head.

Like how would I know?

But then, I remembered Brittany talking about how to please a man, getting them rendered powerless is through their penis.

Through a good head.

A soul-sucking technique.

I don't know what that means.

"If you think that the way to the man's heart is through their stomach, which maybe true in the 18th century, but it was really through their cock. Give them a good head and I'll tell you, they will follow you like a lost pup!"

"One main rule you need to remember, always show eagerness. Excitement it what thrilled them. Next, lick like it was the most delicious frosted chocolate ice cream or candy you've ever eaten, then wrap your lips around it, sucking him like a vacuum but subtle suction until the very back of your throat, then find a rhythm that he likes and do it again and again. And don't forget his very balls. It's the key to his coming..."

Yes, Brittany corrupted my mind, but it works.

"Now you got me. I must know what made you blush so profusely," Alex's determined voice dragged me out of my reverie.

My palm shoot out and pressed my cheeks and true, they felt so hot. The heat of embarrassment flowed through my palm and raced throughout my body.

I palmed my face, trying to hide the humiliation that suddenly enveloped my whole being.

"Babe, whatever it is, I won't judge you," he cooed and I couldn't help but laugh. I dropped my hands on my lap and then met his eyes.

"Please don't say it to anyone. I signed a Non-disclosure contract," I started, unable to look into his eyes.

Alex thumbed my chin and gently tugged it to face him. My eyes found his again.

Alex's forehead scrunched up into a curious frown, but there was an amusement flitted over his overly intrigue features.

"Promise?" I said with a serious tone.

"Yes," he replied, nodding his head.

I hesitated, still unsure if he will betray me, but then Alex hasn't done anything but protecting me.

I heaved a sigh, trying to find the courage to speak.

"It was during Brittany's 20th birthday," I started holding his eyes as I relayed what happened that night.

From frowning to widening of his green eyes, then bursting into a fit of laughters.

"I can't believe it," he laughed.

I don't know if I should be embarrassed or amused.

"You won the blowjob contest?" he reiterated, then again, he laughed harder.

His face lit up, his green eyes sparkled and I was smiling while watching him laughed so hard, I haven't seen it ever since we were kids.

A laugh that is free of stress, no restraint.

"I did." My cheeks burned from embarrassment yet again.

"I'm glad you were enjoying that most embarrassing moment of my life," widening my eyes at him, then folded my hands over my chest as I glared at him good-naturedly.

"I wasn't making fun of you," Alex curled his hand around my shoulders and then pulled me into his embrace. His lips touched my forehead with a brief kiss.

"I am over the moon that you chose me," he said so tenderly, tone like a warm, silky hand that caressed my heart, it felt so full with happiness.

I leaned into him and took pleasure in his warmth that seeped through me, it sent me a sense of security and of comfort.

"I feel so lucky, Babe."

I smiled. I felt him leaned his head against mine. Silence took over as we both watched the scene playing on the screen, both contented in each other's arms with full hearts.

Not long ago, our dinner arrived.

Alex ordered my favorite curried chicken. Mom and I shared the same special dish.

He pulled a chair and I sat murmuring him 'thanks' and he served me like a queen. His tenderness, caring and thoughtfulness just made me fall harder for him.

My mouth watered as soon as Alex served me the curried chicken on a bed of white rice.

The familiar aromatic smell of rich and complex mix of spices wafted through the air.

It reminded me of our kitchen with dad's back, whistling his favorite tune while cooking his specialty.

"How did you know?" I asked, beaming at him tenderly as I took the fork and knife.

"Claire mentioned once," he responded, shoulders lifted in a half shrug.

"And you remembered it?" I teased and he chuckled.

"Everything that concerned you... yes." He winked at me then he dipped his head and kiss me on the forehead before he took the chair across me and sat.

He also ordered some fried seafoods, and he was having a sirloin steak with loaded potatoes.

"Would you like some of my steak?" he asked and I shook my head.

"This is a lot," I said pointing at my food in front of me. I don't think I could even finish this" I smiled at him and started digging with excitement.

Alex poured some white wine after he ate a few bites of his steak.

I thought about Tammy. What happened to her brother and sister after their father's death. There could be more kids like her siblings who wanted to go to school, dreaming big but poverty ended it.

I know I'm not going back modelling again.

I want to help people.

Maybe I could work with charities.

I quickly looked at Alex and met his eyes. He was watching me and my face heated up. The intensity of his gaze made my stomach fluttered.

I ignored that delicious tingling sensations erupted in the pit of my belly.

I quickly tamped it down.

"I know what I wanna do now," I revealed.

He sat upright, dropping his utensils gently on either side of his plate while his eyes perusing the seriousness of my face.

I smiled. "I'm going to work with charities!" I declared with passion.

The thought of helping people made me feel like my life has a purpose.

"A social worker?" he specified, one eyebrow cocked up.

My eyes lit up. "Yes! That's correct! A social worker," I agreed with such conviction.

"If it makes you happy, you have my full support," he nodded his head in agreement, in a voice soft with affection.

I ate my food with renewed passion.

"I know a few people whom you can start to associate with," he earnestly said after a while.

"Really?" I beamed at him. "My father can help too, and I'm sure Dedushka (Grandpa in Russian) will not gonna turn his back on helping unfortunate kids. He had built a charity institution back in Pushkin, and maybe he can extend his charity works here," I said.

"I'm sure His Grace won't resist you," he smiled at me and I chuckled.

I know he can't resist us but he has his own ways to get what he wants without our knowledge.

My grandpa is a very cunning duke.

"Oh he can never resists us," I snorted and Alex frowned but chuckling.

"Thats sounded like not a very good thing."

"He's a very cunning man, I tell you," I remarked.

"So I heard," he replied and I laughed softly.

"But seriously, I'm so proud of you," Alex murmured and I smiled at him. The way his eyes staring at me so tenderly, it made my heart flutter.

He always does.

......

The next morning, I woke up with a cold bed next to me.

I peeled my eyes open but quickly snapped it close when the sun rays hit my eyes, then slowly opened it up, adjusting to the very bright room illuminated with the bright sunlight.

I grunted as I looked away but the windows where the bright sun lights spilling through the glass windows.

I remembered I slept on his arms with our legs intertwined after a few trips to pound town.

It was the best night of my life.

A sudden hollow sensations slashed through my heart, but then I mentally shook it off. Maybe he's up and making breakfast like he usually does.

A bright smile broke on my lips.

He's gonna make a good husband and father.

The thought of having little human running around the kitchen with him standing next to the stove, making dinner made me smile like a madwoman.

Reminded me of my dad.

We grew accustomed of him in the kitchen, making breakfast, serving us instead of the staffs that he paid.

He also perfected mom's special dish. Curried chicken and became my favorite too.

I yawned as I pulled myself up, but then I winced. My lower body, specially in between my thighs felt a little sore. I slipped into my slippers and headed to the washroom, all the while stretching my limbs, ignoring the slight soreness of my back and my sex.

After brushing my teeth, I decided to have a warm bath hoping it will ease the soreness of my private.

After a while, I got out of the washroom feeling a lot better. Seemed the warm water had magically untangled the knot on my back.

I ambled to the kitchen exuberantly after getting into one of my lounging pants paired with a blue tee.

I was welcomed with quietness.

No sign of Alex.

My shoulders slumped and all those excitements deflated.

Where could he be?

I headed back to my room and looked for my phone. It was sitting next to the lamp on one of the side table next to my bed.

My eyes glanced up to the time and it was past midday.

What?

I slept the whole morning.

Shaking my head, I scrolled my contacts, deciding to call him.

My phone buzz, and the caller named Boo flashing.

Frowning, I stared at the name I didn't wanna entertain anymore. I should have change that endearment. She doesn't deserve it anymore.

I decided to connect the call.

"Hello," I said, my voice strained.

It was quiet, but I know she's there. I could hear her soft breathing.

"Clara Bell," she started after a short pause.

"What?" I asked with a dry tone.

"I wanted to talk to you in person, but I don't know how to face you..." she paused. I didn't say anything, nor has any comment on that.

My face hardened.

"I called because I wanted to apologize," she continued. "I know I had broken your trust, and ruined our friendship..." her voice faltered. "I am truly sorry," she choked out.

I didn't feel any sympathy. I know she could be just acting. She had managed to convince me that she was the victim.

"You're right," I stated with a brittle tone. "You broke our friendship the moment you plotted against me, and made me an enemy."

My jaw clenched.

"You took advantage of our kindness, You manipulated the people around you for your selfish gain. Was it worth it?" I scoffed, tone dripping with contempt.

"No, and I know that what I have done is unforgivable. I just want you to know that I regretted it. I'm sorry, Clara Bell. I will face whatever consequences of my action. And I hope one day, you'll forgive me. Good bye, Clara Bell."

She had ended the call and I was still staring hole through the wall, phone still close to my ear angry and frustrated at the same time.

It's not fair that they just say sorry and I should just forgive them and forget it.

Why should they deserve an ounce of sympathy?

No!

My hand with the phone dropped mindlessly to my sides, and I slumped down into the bed. I heard Alex's footsteps coming to my direction but it feels my body's muscles had abandoned me.

"Sweetheart?" Alex called and I lazily turned my head towards the door where he appeared after a few minutes.

When his blue eyes saw my state, he quickly scrambled towards me.

"What happened?" he asked, his huge presence looming over me. His handsome face filled with worries. "Are you okay, sweetie? Are you in pain?" he asked continuously. The new endearment made me smile. I like it better. It's turning my insides mushy. It's making me giddy all over. "I knew I shouldn't have touch you last night," he fret over as he sat next to me.