《Beating the Buzzer | Book 1 in USC series》thirty-one
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This hurt.
Seeing her cry hurt. The fact that I made her cry hurt me to the core.
"Kyler no." Jora gripped at my hoodie, her head pressed against my chest as I held her shaking body.
Clenching my eyes shut tightly, I did everything in my power to pull away from her. I didn't want to, but I had to for the both of us.
A sob wrecked through her body at the loss of our connection.
" I have to let you go," I gripped her freckled cheeks as her hot tears collided with my palms.
"I don't want to but we have to, Jo." I sniffle as she shakes her head, her bottom lip quivering as she tries to hold it in.
" I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have. You don't deserve that Jo. You deserve the whole fucking universe and I can't give you that right now."
As much as it hurt to say— it was true. I wasn't ready to give her everything she needed and wanted in a partner.
" I don't want time apart, Ky," she whimpered as she scooted away from me. " The thought of you with someone else is sickening to me... it makes me feel physically sick, Kyler. I don't understand what I can do to make this better ?"
The pain in her voice only insured me that I was doing the right thing. Our relationship was slowly growing toxic with every time I fucked up.
I was so selfish with wanting both Jora and the attention of everyone else that I didn't realize how badly she was hurting.
I didn't want her to hurt anymore— not because of me.
" You treat me like shit but when it's good— it's good. I- I don't understand how you expect me to be okay with this. How am I— fuck."
Jora broke down, her brows sinking in as she covered her face with her palms. " Why couldn't you just treat me right? That's all I ever wanted."
My heart cracked as I reached for her, pulling her body into mine as her cries filled the dimly lit room. Having her in my hold felt right, even if it would be the last time for a while.
I knew that she was meant to be held by me. She was meant to be loved and protected by me.
Just not right now. Not when all I managed to do was hurt her at any given turn.
" It's not forever Jo. It could never be for forever, baby." I pressed a kiss to her forehead as he cries died down to sniffles.
" I want to be the guy who makes you laugh 24/7 instead of being the cause of your tears. I want to be the guy who gives you the fucking moon and stars instead of treating you like shit. I want to better myself for you, and if that means we have to do it apart, then that's what has to happen."
We sat in silence for a while, the only sounds filling the space being Jora's sniffles and our breathing. She sat up from my hold, turning to face me. " Don't leave me for too long," she sniffled, her thumb stroked my cheek as she cupped my face.
I searched her eyes, finding only pain and sadness filling her beautiful brown irises.I hated myself for hurting her— I hated myself so much for the pain I had caused.
" I won't. I promise."
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Her eyes studied my face, memorizing every inch of it before she leaned forward, pressing her lips to mine in a soft kiss.
It didn't feel like a goodbye kiss. It felt like see you later kiss.
She pulled away from the kiss, leaning her forehead onto mine as she took in a deep breath.
" Good bye, Kyler."
" Good bye, Jora." I whispered, kissing the corner of her lips one last time.
She removed herself from my lap, curling up into a ball as I stood up. It took all of my self control to walk away from her, to leave her.
" Kyler," she calls out.
I pause my hand movements on the doorknob as she speaks, " Promise me that you won't stop coming around. I can't lose you as a friend either, Ky. I can't have you cut yourself completely out of my life because that would destroy me."
Releasing a sharp breath, I leaned my head against the door as her words recycled in my brain . I could be her friend, we could just be friends for right now.
"I promise, Jo."
Looking back one last time, I hoped that I made the right decision for the both of us.
I love you, Jora Sanchez
"How is she?" Sade handed me a cup of coffee as I entered the kitchen. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before grabbing the steaming cup of coffee and adding creamer into it.
"She cried all night," I sighed as I stirred my coffee, shaking my head as I remembered comforting Jora as she dealt with her heartbreak. She was so hurt and upset over something that frankly should've been done a long time ago.
But at the same time, I feel like she is taking this much worse than all the times he's treated her like she was a second option on the side that he could go to.
" This sucks ass," Elizabeth mumbled from her spot on the kitchen counter. " They would've been so cute together. I just wish that Kyler could've pushed being an indecisive asshole aside and chose her instead. She deserves the world, especially with what she went through with Ximena."
Ximena was Jora's ex girlfriend.
When I first met Jora she was very close guarded and a little bit of a bitch. She didn't know how to trust people due to being used for her family's connections and taken advantage of because of her wealth. At first I was a little hurt, but then I realized that she was a lot like Rhegan was in the early stages of our friendship.
Rhegan and I knew each other for five years before we became best friends. She never had friends in middle school because she was so stand-offish towards people. But I quickly learned that that was a defense mechanism of hers.
When we finally became friends she told me the real reason why she didn't want people getting too close to her. I was just glad that when we got to college she opened up a little bit more to our group of friends.
When Jora and I met she was also in a toxic relationship.
Her ex-girlfriend was at a different school across the country. She would always pick fights with Jora over the littlest things. She didn't like Jora going out with us or the fact that she was making new friends that she hadn't met.
Ximena was very controlling.
I remember our first party that we had went to together as a group, Jora spent the majority of the night on her phone arguing with Ximena. Rhegan had to steal the phone away from her but she somehow got it back.
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That night resulted in Jora dumping Ximena. No less than thirty minutes later, she was led into a pantry closet by none other than Kyler McKay for a round of seven minutes in heaven.
Let's just say they played for longer than seven minutes.
Her first time playing Dirty Jenga ended with a bang— literally.
" That bitch," Skylar spat before sipping her coffee." Kyler may be an asshole but he is nowhere near as bad as her when it comes to Jora."
I couldn't imagine being in Sky's position right now. She was clearly upset with Kyler over this, but that was also her brother and she loved him.
Stupidity and all.
" My brother is just lost. I honestly think that this break will help push him in the right direction." Sky chewed her thumbnail as she slumps her shoulders." I just— he seems truly happy when he's with her. I don't understand what goes on in his head most of the time."
" Maybe instead of bitching at him, I should take a neutral approach the next time I see him," she concluded as we heard footsteps approaching the kitchen.
Jora walked in fully dressed and her skin flawless. The only signs of her crying last night were the bags under her eyes and the slight puffiness to them. She smiled brightly at us as she grabbed a to-go cup and poured her some coffee.
We all watched her carefully as she poured in her creamer with a content smile.
" Goodmorning!" She chirped as she put the lid on the tumbler. " Goodmorning." We responded back, a little taken aback by her demeanor.
" Where are you headed to, Jora?" Sade asked as she spoke behind her coffee mug, trying to hide the look of shock that was no doubt written on her face.
" I made a last minute hair appointment," she answers." I'll see you guys in a couple of hours."
We watched Jora's figure disappear behind the corner and waited until the door closed before speaking amongst ourselves.
"I thought you said she had been crying all night." Rhegan squeaked as heads turned to me.
"W- well she was," I stammered in self-defense.
Audrey leaned against the counter, her palms braced against the edge as she let out an amused huff. " I could barely tell she'd spent the night in tears if it weren't for the slight puffiness to her eyes."
Jora did have a strict skin-care routine. I could hardly tell when she was hung-over or had a restless night due to her routine.
"Are we just going to glaze over the fact that she's getting a post breakup, non-breakup hair do?"Elizabeth brought to our attention.
" Dear lord, I hope she doesn't get bangs again." Sky mumbled.
Everyone except for Audrey cringed as we recalled the bitch attempt at bangs she tried to give herself in freshman year. With the help of a professional they looked... better
Yeah.
" They couldn't have been that bad," Audrey smiled optimistically. We stared blankly at her as her smile started to fade.
"Right?" With a quick scroll through the camera roll, Sade had presented Audrey with a before and after picture of Jora's handy work.
"Oh." Audrey tried her hardest to maintain a straight face as Sade locked her phone. " Well it looked much better after she went to the salon," she winced as she sugar-coated the situation.
" Let's just hope she doesn't make the same mistake twice. Those Anastasia steele bangs were not working in her favor." Rhegan's words are muffled as she presses her lips to her coffee mug.
Sade finishes off her coffee and puts the mug into the sink. " We should take her out to karaoke tonight. You know, to cheer her up."
The girls and I exchange like before agreeing. Jora did love herself a good karaoke night filled with shots and mini sliders. Hopefully this night would cheer her up along with her post heartbreak look.
" That sounds like a great idea," Elizabeth clapped excitedly as she slid off of the counter.
" This should be fun!" With that, we all dispersed to our rooms. Audrey left, promising to come back to meet us up for tonight's plans.
We waited patiently throughout the day, cleaning and fixing up the house while time passed. We had already gotten showers out of the way, only having to get dressed when Jora arrived.
It was well past six o'clock when Jora waltzed into the door.
Her hair was a few shades darker, a few strands of hair were dyed a deep red color. She did a 360 turn with a beaming smile on her face as we took in the newfound glow that she sported.
It was as if she didn't just go through a heartbreak the night before.
" Do we like?" She questioned, placing her hands on her hips. " We fucking love!" I gawked as I stood up to get a closer look at it. " This suits you much better than those bangs, Jo."
Jora's face morphed into one of horror as she slapped my hands away from her hair. " Don't remind me! That was a spur of the moment decision that went all the way left, okay. Let's just pretend the bang era never existed."
She gave us all a pleading look.
" It's gone. Already deleted from my memory."
" What bang era?"
" You had bangs?"
" That'll be hard but I can try."
" Thank you," she smiles appreciatively as she makes her way onto the couch. " What are the plans for tonight?"
Rhegan hops onto the couch next to her, feet tucked under her legs as she grabs a fluffy pillow. " We were thinking about karaoke at your favorite place." Rhegan cheesed as Jora's eyes lit up.
" Yaaay!" Jora cheers. " Maybe I should get my heart broken more often so that you bitches can be nicer to me."
The girls and I bater her with cries of outrage. Jora runs up the stairs giggling, almost tripping over one in the process." That's why your ass almost fell." Skylar cackled.
" You see this," Jora panted." This is what I'm talking about. You're laughing instead of checking up on me, I could've died Skylar."
I bit on my inner cheek, trying my hardest not to laugh as she scolds Skylar. "And you didn't," she shrugged unapologetically."And you're still pretty so what's really the issue?"
" You're not going to compliment yourself out of this one, McKay!" Jora points her fingers as she turns on her heels to match up the stairs.
" Love you, baby girl."
" Fuck you and your shrimp dick twin!" Jora yelled as a door slammed.
My mouth dropped as the girls let out hoots and hollers. "Now according to the noises that I heard in New York, it was anything but a damn shrimp." Sade cackled as we made our way up the stairs.
According to half of the girls on campus it was anything but a shrimp. And with the way Kyler held himself that night when Jora said it to his face, told us all that the rumors were in fact true.
" I don't want to hear this shit." Skylar gagged as she slammed the door to her room. Rhegan, Lizzie, Sade, and I laughed all the way into our rooms as we prepared to get ready.
Once in my room, I checked my messages to see that I had just missed a facetime call from Carson. I sat down at my vanity and propped the phone against the border of the mirror. Within the first few rings he had picked up, looking sweaty and fine as fuck.
" Hey beautiful," he grins at the screen as I feel my cheeks heat up. I lean out of the camera to grab a hold of my hair ties to hide the flustered look on my face.
" Aht!" He clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth." Get your sexy ass back into the frame right now, Ayanna Heart."
I roll my eyes as I slowly come back into frame, a satisfied smile on his face as he finally sees me.
" There's my beautiful girl."
He's getting fucked good the next time I see him.
" Stop it, Carson," I whined as his smile grew bigger.
" Never." He chuckled as I waltzed towards my closet, his low whistle following as he no doubt followed the sway of my ass.
" Stop being a perv!" I shout over my shoulder as I grab a few clothing options. " What is the girl power crew up to tonight?" He questions as I try on a few tops.
" We're going out tonight to cheer Jora up," I answer as I turn in the mirror, liking the look that this off-white sequined, spaghetti strapped cropped tank.
" You like?" Carson hums in approval as I adjust the middle top. The top holding my cleavage up surprisingly well.
" I love it." I keep on the top as I go through skirts and pants, settling in a pair of white flared pants.
Carson and I chatted as I did my makeup.
" How's Ky?" I question as I close the cap to my lip liner. I took my hair out of the braids they'd been in all day, releasing my curls for the night. I added some moisture and product to it before feeling satisfied with it.
Carson let's out a sigh as he runs his hand over the peach fuzz growing on his chin. " He's been moping around all day. The guys and I are planning on taking him out a little later to maybe cheer him up but he isn't having any of it."
I felt bad for him, but this was something that needed to happen in order for him to realize what he wanted.
I paused my motion of dusting on highlight, a heavy sigh leaving my body as I slouched in my seat." They'll get through this right? This is just an obstacle in their relationship, right?"
" They will," Carson assures." It's Jora and Kyler. They always find a way back to each other." I felt lighter at his reassurance.
He was right— even though they weren't a real couple yet, they had always seemed to attract each other like magnets.
"You're right!" I shake off my worrying as I put in my earrings.
It's silent for a moment before I catch him admiring me, a content smile on his face as my breath catches in my throat. " What?" I asked as I adjusted my necklace in my reflection.
" Nothing," he sighs dreamily." I'm just so fucking in love with you."
Alright— it was time to hang up before I changed my plans for the night.
" I love you, too." I blow a kiss at the phone as I reach for it. " I have to go before I go rogue and visit you instead."
Carson pipes up at this," That sounds like a better plan to me." I roll my eyes," Of course it does. Bye Carson!"
" Bye Angel!"
I grabbed my jacket and purse before leaving the room. Looking over my shoulder I made sure that everything was in place before dimming the lights.
When I come down the stairs the girls are all waiting for me. " You guys look hot!" I compliment my friends as I join them in pre- gaming.
Skylar wore a green halter top that had an outline of boobs and a torso in black. She paired in with some low rise black leather pants and some platform boots. Her hair was in a messy bun with a few curled pieces framing her face.
Sade stood beside her in an oversized orange cardigan with pale yellow detailing, a periwinkle cropped top that could pass as a bra. She paired it with some light washed jeans and her orange dunks. Her hair was pulled back into a slicked middle part with her natural hair in a braided ponytail.
Audrey was wearing a little black dress paired with an oversized leather jacket. She wore black doc martens and her hair was parted down the middle, flowing straight down her back.
Elizabeth wore a zebra printed crop top, the strands of the shirt wrapping cross-crossed around her waist. Her back was exposed, showing evidence of the fact that she was going braless. She paired the top with some black denim flare jeans and some heels. Her hair was in a high ponytail, the ends flipped and a swoop going to the side.
Princess Rhegan wore a knitted long sleeve cream dress that had a cut out that emphasized her hourglass figure. The dress exposed her back as well as a small sliver of her sides. She paired it with faux brown crocodile skin boots and her newest birkin to match. She had put two braids in the front, sections them off with a part down the middle and left the rest of her straight down her back.
And finally the lady of the evening.
Jora was dressed in a white, sheer lace corset. The corset was cropped, only a sliver of skin showed on her stomach due to the high waisted leather jeans she wore, The corset showed her cleavage off nicely even though an oversized leather blazer hung off of her shoulders. She had on open toed heels to match and her hair was curled to perfection.
" The uber is here!" Sky announced as we downed our drinks. We grabbed our purses and jackets before heading out of the door.
The karaoke place wasn't too far from our place but it wasn't walking distance either. After spending a gracious amount of time in L.A. traffic before reaching our destination.
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