Van Eck was in prison, Kaz was rich, he was free. So why was Wylan still nervous?

"Come on, Sunshine. We should head home."

He glanced over at Jesper and said, "Home?"

Jesper scooted closer to him in the booth at the Crow Club. Kaz sat across from them, unusually happy. Maybe that was because Inej was curled up and asleep beside him, a small smile on her beautiful face.

"The mansion," he conceded. "Unless you don't want me to stay with you."

Wylan smiled and squeezed Jesper's hand. "Of course I want you to stay with me. I just..."

Jesper gave him a half smile. "I get it."

Kaz clinked his glass against an empty one. "I'm going to get something to drink. You guys should probably go."

Jesper took Wylan's hand and they slid from the booth and hurried outside. The wind lashed at Wylan's face and he pulled his scarf tight.

The mansion loomed dark and forbidding on the corner of the street. The only lights were lit in the main foyer, but it still cast out a gloomy vibe.

Wylan's face was hot, sweaty. WhatamIdoingherewhatamIdoinghere?

Jesper released his hand to wrap an arm around his waist. "He's not here anymore, Wylan."

Wylan nodded, even as his heartbeat increased in speed. "I know."

They walked up the dark path, gravel crunching beneath their feet. Wylan had the sharp urge to search the entire yard before setting foot inside.

The door squealed on its hinges and echoed throughout the domed foyer. It was so silent, so still.

All Wylan could remember were his own pleas, his own screams. In every single inch of this house, he could see his father's disappointing scowl, his hand lashing out whenever Wylan did something wrong.

He realized he had frozen when Jesper kissed his head. "You're okay, merchling."

He forced himself to nod, forced himself to follow Jesper through the house. There was still a hole in the ceiling above the dinner table, but he would deal with that later.

"Where... where should I stay?" Jesper didn't meet his gaze, his stormcloud gray eyes downcast.

Wylan wanted to ask him to stay with him but he couldn't find the courage. "You can pick a room."

Jesper nodded and hugged Wylan tight. "If you need me-"

"I'm fine."

Jesper didn't argue, didn't push. "If you say so. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

Wylan stretched up to kiss him before he turned towards the room that had been his father. As the owner of the house, he should stay in the master bedroom, but his heart ached at the thought of it.

The room reminded him so much of his father. Everything was dull, the sheets black, the walls brown, the floors gray. The bed felt wrong beneath him, the air felt stuffy in his lungs.

When he finally fell into a restless, aching sleep, his father stood before him, spitting angrily about how useless Wylan was. He remembered that day, only a few months prior to the heist, before he left home.

Wylan cried out as his father's fist connected with the side of his face, surely leaving a purple bruise behind.

It was one of those days when his father was so angry that he could hardly breathe- and he was taking it out on Wylan.

His father shoved him to the floor. He didn't try to fight back or call for help. It would have been useless.

So he took the pain and didn't fight the punches and kicks. He sobbed silently, ashamed of his tears, of his weakness. If only he weren't so stupid-

Before his father's boot could connect with his head, he woke to an unfamiliar room. His throat was raw as if he had just gotten done screaming. His hands were sweaty- or was that blood because of his fingernails?

There were hurried footsteps in the hallway and the door slammed open to reveal Jesper.

Thank Ghezen.

Wylan practically leaped from the bed as he rushed to Jesper's side and collapsed into his arms. He tried to speak but the words ran together and he broke down sobbing.

Jesper stroked his curls, murmuring softly in his ear. "It's alright, Wy. You're okay."

"I can't stay here," he gasped, pulling back to look into Jesper's eyes. "All I see is him."

Jesper brushed the tears from his eyes. "Van Eck cannot get you here."

Wylan shook his head and pressed his hand to Jesper's cheek. He had to know that he was real, that Jesper was actually there. "Stay with me."

Jesper nodded, tangling his hands in Wylan's curls. "I'll always stay with you, Wy."

Wylan kissed him and didn't care that he had tears all over his face or that it was the middle of the night. He could have stayed in Jesper's warm embrace for hours, could have held him and never let go.

He finally had to break away for air but wished he didn't have to. He wanted to hold Jesper and never let go.

When Jesper dragged him over to the bed, Wylan slid up against him and held him tight, afraid that if he would let him go, the whole world would fall apart. And a thought brighter than that one hit Wylan- Jesper was his world, not Kerch or Ketterdam or the Dregs or the mansion. Jesper was his everything, his support, his friend.

"Y'know, I don't think four million kruge was the real prize," he murmured blearily.

"What was?" Jesper breathed, his lips like velvet on Wylan's forehead.

"You were."

He laughed. "Don't get philosophical again, merchling."

Wylan kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

****

Sleep came easily after hours of talking and hugging. Wylan didn't have another nightmare and he woke refreshed. He stretched, kissing Jesper's nose in the early morning sun.

"You're up early, merchling."

"That leaves more time for us today."

Jesper smiled and flicked Wylan's nose. "I don't think I'd mind staying in this bed all day. If anything, your father is alright at picking out mattresses."

Wylan snorted. "It felt like I slept on a pile of bricks."

He rolled on top of Wylan and smiled. "I love you."

"You love saying that."

"Only for you, Sunshine."