Kaz limped after Inej, his cane thudding on the cobblestones. She raced for her parents, her braid streaming out behind her.

When he reached her side, she was crying into her mother's shoulder, her body wracking with her sobs. "I missed you," she whispered, "I missed you, Mama."

She broke away from her mother, embraced her father, and fell back to Kaz's side. Though she was finally reunited with her parents, she almost seemed... wary, uncertain.

Inej's calloused fingers laced with his, and said, "Mama, Papa, this is Kaz."

Mr. and Mrs. Ghafa finally turned to examine him, gazing over him with inquisitive, wise eyes.

"Kaz," Mr. Ghafa murmured. "You wrote us the letter. You're a... businessman?"

His spine stiffened and he glanced at Inej for help, but she didn't offer any. But then, he saw Wylan and Jesper striding for them, Wylan finally looking comfortable in his own skin.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ghafa!" He said with a smile. "Yes, Kaz isn't exactly a... businessman per se, but he helps me run my business."

"How wonderful," Mrs. Ghafa cried, hugging Wylan tightly. "Did you take care of Inej all these years?"

"Kaz did," Jesper put in. "He took her in, helped her."

Kaz glared in Jesper's direction, loathing the attention that was now pointed at him. Mr. and Mrs. Ghafa shouldn't be thanking him; he'd only ever given Inej a knife and taught her to fight.

Mrs. Ghafa embraced him, the scent of pine and lavender surrounding him in a haze. He'd once wondered how Inej had completely erased her scent and wondered if she had carried the scent of the forest at one point. "Thank you, Mr. Kaz. Thank you very, very much."

When she broke away from him, Mr. Ghafa extended a hand to him. "I owe you a life debt."

Kaz choked on the air. "What?"

"You took care of my daughter and now I owe you something in return."

Kaz shook his head. "I don't need you to repay me."

"This is a debt I'll be glad to carry," the man insisted. "Tell me what you want and I'll get it for you."

Kaz glanced over at Inej, at her pretty face, her entrancing eyes, her ebony hair. He wouldn't drag her father into anything, and as soon as she was gone... the better.

That wasn't what he wanted, though. He wanted her to stay with him, to realize that they both had issues and they should work through them together. Perhaps they could try to fix Ketterdam together.

"The only thing I could possibly want is for you to take good care of Inej and make sure she's happy."

Inej squeezed his hand and moved closer, her shoulder brushing his.

"Won't you see each other again?" Mrs. Ghafa asked.

Before Kaz could reply, Inej said, "Yes, Mama, we'll be seeing each other again."

When Kaz met her gaze, he read the promise there. She wasn't going to give up on him, on them.

"Should we go back to the house?" Wylan asked, ducking under Jesper's arm. "It's frigid out here."

The Ghafas murmured agreement and followed after Wylan and Jesper, but Inej stayed behind. "I'll be right over," she called. "I have to do something first."

She turned back to Kaz and met his gaze. "Are you coming?"

And Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the deadliest boy in Ketterdam, smiled widely and nodded.

****

The Slat was alive with chatter and conversation, but Inej dragged Kaz through the din. They made their way to his room, not even pausing to talk to Anika.

Kaz hadn't released her hand and he hated to admit that he was almost afraid to let go. He couldn't lose her.

But Inej smiled up at him and said, "I think they like you."

"They won't like me once they realize how terribly I've treated you."

Inej placed a caramel hand on his cheek and stroked the scar on his chin. "Please, just let go of what happened before the heist. It's different now."

He swallowed, afraid to speak. He couldn't ruin this, wouldn't ruin it. He wouldn't even give Inej away, even if it would make him the richest man in the world.

No, because Inej... Inej was worth more than every single cent combined, worth more than every job or fight or brawl.

He leaned into her touch, closing his eyes, fighting the memories that wanted to drag him under.

"I'm sorry that I'm not... what you want," he rasped. "I'm sorry that I'm not perfect or rich or good. I'm terrible, I have so many issues, Inej. I wish that... I wish that I could fix myself for you. I... I want to be better if it means that... that you will understand."

Tears glimmered in Inej's chocolate eyes. "I... I didn't mean it like that when we were in Djerholm. We both have our issues and... we should fix them together." She took a step closer to him, close enough that he could see the faint scar on her cheek. He traced it with his thumb.

He took a shuddering breath as she stepped closer once more, their chests pressed together.

He could see every detail, from the tiny beauty marks on her cheeks to the gold in her eyes.

Inej stretched up on her toes, resting her forehead against his. After an excruciating second, she leaned closer.

Their lips brushed together, hers soft and smooth. Kaz wished it could have lasted an eternity.

He didn't even notice that he was crying until Inej kissed the tear on his cheek. "It's okay, Kaz."

He wrapped his arms around her, savoring her warmth. She smiled, tracing his cheekbones, his eyelids. Blindly, Kaz leaned forward once more, aching for that sense of comfort, of safety.

She embraced him after she pulled back from the kiss, resting her head on his shoulder.

Kaz hated everything. He hated this stupid world that had taken so much from her. He hated the fact that she could never be happy with a man like him. He hated how he'd treated her, what he'd said.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Inej ran her hands through his hair. "I know, Kaz."

Everything that he was was falling apart. Wearing that mask of a cold, mysterious boy was much easier than standing there, Inej in his arms. But he knew this could help him. This could make him a better man. Perhaps that aching in his chest wasn't another piece of his heart fracturing but... healing instead.

He was not his brother and he didn't have to let Jordie's mistakes ruin him. He could best this, move past this.

It had been nearly eight years since that night in the harbour. Eight years he'd been cruel and cold and unwelcoming.

His shoulders shook as tears streamed down his cheeks. Eight years worth of bottled up pain and sorrow.

Inej started whispering in Suli, a soft phrase she repeated over and over. Kaz rested his head in her shoulder. Now so close to her, he found her scent.

Hidden in the shadows, he could find her on instinct, without the help of sounds or scents. But in his room, holding her close...

She smelled of the wind and the mist and salt-spray of the sea. She smelled of apple syrup and freshly baked goods. But beneath all of that... she smelled like home.

"I'm so sorry," he sobbed. "I am so, so sorry."

Inej placed two fingers beneath his chin and tilted his face up so he was forced to look at her. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Kaz. You saved me from Heleen. You saved me from that place and I will always be grateful for that, for you. We will do this together, you and me."

He lifted a shaking hand up to her face, hesitating before he brushed a strand of hair from her face. "You and me," he whispered.

Inej wiped a tear from his chin. "You and me," she repeated.

****

Inej hated to admit that she was worried about Kaz. But a part of her felt... good at being able to see this side of Kaz.

As he sobbed into her shoulder, she stroked his hair, whispering the same thing over and over in Suli:

I will never leave you, I will never give up on you. You are my home.

When he calmed enough to ask her what she was saying, she replied, "I'll tell you one day when I know in my heart that it's true."

Kaz just nodded and kissed her forehead.

His lips were soft against her skin, his breath warm. Against her better judgment, she pulled him back in for another kiss.

"Tell me what's wrong," she whispered against his lips. "Tell me why you're sad."

He didn't respond, just stood there, holding here.

After a long, long while, he kissed her forehead and said, "We should go see your parents."

She nodded, stepping back to take his hand. His face with streaked with red, his eyes bloodshot.

"If you don't want to go, you don't have to," she murmured, idly drawing patterns on the back of his hand. "I'll tell them you don't feel well."

He shook his head. "I'll come."

Inej held his hand the entire walk to Wylan's mansion. She wouldn't let go, not if she knew he would go back to that... void of sadness. She wouldn't watch him crumble.

That kernel of hope and perhaps affection had grown. She felt... more. She didn't think herself indebted to him, not at the way he seemed to glow when she was around. But she felt the need to do something for him.

They walked down the alleys without saying a word until the silence became unbearable.

"You know," she started, "some nights I would look out at the night sky and wonder if I would ever escape her. When I was fifteen, I had almost given up completely."

That sorrow in his eyes...

"I wanted to throw myself out the window. And the next day, you showed up and saved me."

Kaz squeezed her hand until her knuckles cracked.

"You saved me from the things that tortured me day and night and you kept helping me, kept giving me every opportunity to help myself. You saved me, let me save you. Please."

Kaz hugged her, resting his chin on her head. "You really think that I saved you?"

Inej stretched up to kiss his jaw. "I am thankful for what you did every day of my life."

****

As they entered the mansion, Jesper was in the middle of telling a story about who-knows-what. Kaz didn't care to listen as he took his normal seat beside Wylan.

The boy's eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, his cheeks gaunt and his skin pale. While the Ghafas talked to Jesper, Kaz leaned over and murmured, "Are you well?"

Wylan let out a soft, pained noise. "I've... been stressed."

"I can stay to help you with your business if you should need it."

Wylan nodded and said, "I'm glad I met you."

Kaz patted the boy's shoulder. "The feeling is mutual."

With a glance over at Inej, he saw her smiling, her brown eyes glowing with adoration. As he remembered what had gone on in his room... his cheeks flushed and he glanced away.

"How are you and Inej?" Wylan asked, pouring Kaz a glass of water.

"What does that question mean?"

Wylan rolled his eyes. "You guys have been pining after each other for so long. It's obvious to the rest of us."

Kaz just shrugged. "We're good. We're... really good, I think."

****

The harbor was empty, not a single soul waiting on the cobblestones.

Kaz took that as his chance to say goodbye.

It had only been a week since her mother and father arrived, but she had to take them home.

He stood against a brick wall, watching her speak quietly with her crew. When she finally made her way over to him, her eyes were alight, her cheeks flushed slightly from the cold.

Inej extended her hands to him and he pulled her close. "I'll be careful," she promised.

Kaz took one last look around before he kissed her forehead. No wave of nausea, no sickening memories. "Write to me as soon as you can. You'll be back by the beginning of spring?"

Inej nodded, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "I'll write to you as often as I can. Don't get in too much trouble without me."

Kaz pulled her closer, practically picking her up so he could burrow his head into her scarf and inhale that sweet smell of home one last time before she had to go. He clenched his eyes shut against the burning in them, willing the pain to go away.

No gods watched over him, but he prayed to Inej's saints that the weeks she would be gone would pass by quickly.

Kaz kissed her cheek. "Would today be a good day to tell me what you were saying in Suli?"

Her eyes glimmered. "I know that it's true, but... not today, Kaz."

He nodded, running his hands through her unbound hair. "Come back to me."

Inej leaned her head into the palm of his hand. "Always."

He could never get enough of her, never escape this... this feeling that haunted him, that made him rethink everything and make sure that Inej would support him. This feeling... it felt so good, yet so painful. It was as if he had taken a dive for something so important and now he was flying through the air.

Love. Kaz had never known love, had only ever watched it destroy people. At one point, he had wondered why people would fall apart for something so useless. But now... now he would do the same in a heartbeat.

Was it really love, though? Could he call that emotion love? The emotion that made his knees wobble, his heart ache, was that love?

Yes, he knew, yes it was love.

Inej turned to go, but he gripped her wrist. "Iloveyou."

She glanced back at him. "What?"

He released her. "I love you."

Inej's eyes widened, her mouth hanging open in shock. He had only ever been this open with her once when he had cried on her shoulder. "You love me?"

Not trusting himself to speak, Kaz nodded. Heat filled his face and shame washed over him. Inej was going to walk away and never come back.

"Well, that's good, because... I love you, too."

He'd never reached for something so quickly as he tugged her back towards him, pressed his lips to hers. They stayed like that for an eternity until someone coughed behind them.

Kaz glanced over his shoulder to see Wylan and Jesper, the former's face bright red.

"We came to say goodbye," Jesper explained. "Sorry we interrupted."

Kaz scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

He stepped to the side and ignored their goodbyes. When Inej stood before him again, he took her face in his hands. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips before he whispered, "See you in the spring."

Inej hugged him and started walking towards her ship.

Yes, Inej was leaving Ketterdam, leaving him.

But she would be back in the spring and they were going to be happy.