I sunk into the mattress, feeling the silk sheets beneath me. My breathing was still heavy. The whole world was seeming to spin.

Staring at the white ceiling, i tried to ignore the feeling that I had in my stomach. That ridiculous blooming feeling.

But i was sure the only thing blooming here was hate. The misery.

What am i going to do?

Suddenly, i heard a strong knock on my door.

I was not answering. I did not feel any will or power to do so.

And seconds later, my brother stepped into my room quietly.

"Amanda."

My eyes shifted to him as i brought myself up and sat down properly, my back resting in between the fluffy white pillows.

He sat down, his brown eyes seeming to warm up the cold room.

"Tell me."

I sighed.

How do i tell him that i found my mate, who is also our enemy of a lifetime?!

"I don't know what to tell you." I said, a nervous and obvious chuckle escaping me.

His eyes hardened, he was now getting impatient. He sure did have a short temper.

His jaw twitched and i finally gave in to my mind, letting the words spill.

"I found my mate."

His eyes lit up, his lips stretching out in a wide grin. He was about to wrap his arms around me and probably tell me how happy he is for me. But, i pushed him back.

I did not dare to look him in the eyes.

"Its a Diamond Pack Alpha..." i said quietly, like i wanted those words to disappear, along with my thoughts.

I finally looked up.

His eyes now held the fire that i never saw. It looked like a damn wildfire.

"Come here." He whispered and engulfed me in a strong, almost deadly hug.

But that was exactly what i needed.

I did not sleep that night, i did not even feel a small need to. My eyes were wide open, my mind wandering and my mind racing two hundred miles per an hour.

I hope this turns out well, i hope i never have to see him again. Reject him.

My wolf howled in misery, wanting to push away those thoughts out of my head.

She was craving his wolf. His smell. His touch. His mark.

I pushed her away as far as I could, in the back of my mind.

Moon Goddess, why?