《Have Faith》Chapter 27
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"Many lives are wasted by just waiting for something good to come from the horizon instead of going to the horizon and finding something good over there!" Mehmet Muran ildan
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Chapter Twenty – Seven
Faith had been the mistress of Norwood Cottage for near a fortnight since Cassian had left for London. It felt very odd to be in charge of a household that she had once worked for, but then, as Hattie kept reminding her, she was never much of a servant. No housemaid needed to dust a study for as long as she did. It was always clear that Faith and Cassian were meant to be more than servant and master.
The sheer size of Norwood Cottage made the name truly ridiculous. It was not a cottage, but a castle, only without a moat and towers. The enormity of the building made it quite impossible for Cassian's once small staff to keep it in order, and so more servants were sought from the village.
Faith had left that job for Mr Wade. She had not yet ventured into the village. She had not dared to. Not even the quiet little village of Norwood was exempt from the city newspapers. Her story had flown across the country, and surely each and every one of these people knew her dirty little secrets too.
Would they accept her? Faith was not game enough to ask, not while she was still unmarried. Faith knew that she had broken about half a dozen society rules with how she and Cassian had conducted themselves. To an outsider, it would be scandalous. But only they knew the truth.
Faith supposed she was just as wary of another's opinion of her as they next person. Cassian was so determined that Norwood would be the fresh start that they needed. He was so excited for Faith to stretch her legs and get out into the community. Faith was nervous.
So, instead she had busied herself with making this big house her home. By comparison, her home in Leicestershire with George was bigger, but it had always felt like a prison. This house felt so full of opportunity. Lucy would grow up here. Kit, God willing, would grow up here. Any future child she might be blessed with would grow up here.
Faith often found herself wandering into Lucy's new bedroom, which Cassian, or rather Mr Wade, had had filled with gorgeous toys. This would be the bedroom where Faith would one day tuck her into bed for the last time, on the night before her wedding.
Faith had never before had thoughts like these. Her focus had always been on the present. Where would their next meal come from? What would happen if Mrs Berwick could not watch Lucy and she could not work? Faith had never before entertained thoughts of the future because it felt taboo. Things could always go wrong.
Things could still go dreadfully wrong, but Faith had reason to hope.
Shortly after Cassian had departed for London, Faith had taken the bulbs he had collected for her, and a pail of water, and had gone for a walk about the garden. Faith could not comprehend the gratefulness she felt to Cassian for this simple gesture.
Whether or not it would feel the same as before, she did not know, but Faith currently felt as though she had a piece of her son's resting place, and a way to make a place for him in her new home.
The grounds of the Norwood estate were extensive and glorious. They most definitely were well tended to. There was not a lake, as there was on George's estate, but there was a pond deep into the garden, protected by pussy willow trees. The furry catkins were in full bloom, and it looked as though there were small snow balls on the branches.
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The pond was shallow and still, and she could hear the noises of the creatures who resided there. It was a very peaceful and natural place. It was the perfect spot. Faith knelt down at the base of the tree nearest to the pond and placed the pail of water and the bulbs aside as she began to shift the grass and dirt with her hands.
Dirt quickly caked underneath her fingernails but she did not mind. Once an adequate hole at formed, Faith placed the bulbs, root down, in the dirt, and then covered them back up again. She poured water over the site slowly, and stood back up again.
"Happy fifth birthday," she whispered.
This would now be Sky's place. Faith would bring Cassian here, and when Lucy was old enough to understand, Faith would bring her here. Faith said a silent prayer before leaving and making her way back up to the house.
For the rest of the time while Cassian was away, Faith got to know Finn Kelly. Because Cassian was not there to tell her, Finn detailed to Faith exactly how he had met Cassian.
"I had to throw his drunk backside in one of my cells. We met formally when he woke up the next morning," Finn had said jokingly, all the while being serious.
Finn told Faith or his childhood in Ireland, and his family's move to England for better opportunity. His father had made his fortune in farming land, and had left the business to Finn upon his retirement. Mr and Mrs Kelly now loved comfortably in the Irish countryside.
Finn had become a magistrate after the last one had retired. Finn presided over Derbyshire as one of its four magistrates, having been deemed by the people as having good sense, mercy, integrity, and an unbiased ability to achieve justice and keep the peace.
Finn was not paid as a magistrate. He was a volunteer, but he enjoyed the office, and the new connections he had made through it.
Finn also got to know Faith, and Faith found herself divulging her tale.
"I think you do yourself a disservice by hiding from the people in Norwood, Faith," Finn declared. "You are not so different. Believe me, I know. I hear everything. It just so happens that your story was aired publically, but you will find likeminded and sympathetic people. Standing up for one's child is nothing to be ashamed of."
Faith smiled. "Why have you not married yet, Finn?" she asked curiously. Finn was very handsome, and he had a very kind and intelligent head on his shoulders. He would make a fine, decent husband.
Finn shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose I have not met the right woman yet. I desire the kind of woman Cassian has been so fortunate as to have found. The kind of woman who always puts others first, so that I may put her first."
Faith's heart melted.
"A fine face and a lovely figure wouldn't hurt, either," he added jokingly.
Faith laughed. "Well, I shall keep an eye out for you."
"In all seriousness, the way I see it, Faith, is that if I am going to marry someone, I want to really love her. Marriage is for life. I have no desire to marry the prettiest girl in the village just because she is pretty. I want a partner, and I do not mind waiting for her."
"She will be a lucky woman," Faith told him honestly. She only prayed that Finn did not have to wait too long for her.
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Cassian's carriage arrived back in Norwood two weeks to the day that he had left.
Faith and Lucy both raced out to meet the carriage. Mr Wade and the new footmen he had taken on ventured out as well. When the carriage pulled to a stop, Mr Green climbed down from his seat as the first footmen went to open the door for the passengers. He assembled the steps and Cassian was the first to climb out.
Faith held her tongue to stop a gasp from escaping. Poor Cassian looked dreadful. He was pale, and he had dark shadows underneath his eyes, so dark that he looked as though he had been punched twice. His movements, as well, were slow and careful.
Travelling so soon after such a horrific injury had not done him any good. But the smile on his face just as soon as his companion jumped out of the carriage to help him made it clear that Cassian had no regrets.
Kit! Kit was here! Oh, all had gone well. Faith was relieved.
Kit wrapped his arm around Cassian's waist and supported his weight. Cassian accepted the help and leant on Kit. Faith quickly abandoned her post and went to Cassian's aid, collecting his other arm.
Cassian placed no weight on Faith, much to her chagrin. "What happened? Is it your wound? Is it infected?" Faith asked, concerned. "Sit down," she instructed, as they came to the steps.
Kit helped Cassian to sit down on the steps of the house. Cassian shook his head. "I am fine," he promised. "Just tired."
Faith did not take his word for it. She immediately pressed her palm to his forehead and thanked God when she felt there was no fever.
"Faith," Cassian said firmly, "I promise I am well. It was just a tiring journey and I did not sleep very well."
That would not stop Faith from sending for a doctor just to be sure. She wanted that wound inspected.
"Do you think she missed me?" Kit whispered to Faith, nodding towards Lucy who was standing at the top of the stairs.
Lucy stood with her hands in fists by her sides, with the biggest grin on her face. She was shaking with excitement.
"No," Cassian said, looking to Lucy over his shoulder, "that reaction is for me, of course."
"Are you happy to see me, Goose?" asked Kit.
Lucy squealed and bounded down the steps into Kit's waiting arms. Lucy arms wound tightly around Kit's neck as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Kit returned the hug.
Kit had grown even taller since Faith had last seen him. He was taller and lankier, and he looked like he needed a decent meal. His blond hair was longer; his curls almost reached his shoulders now. But his face was the biggest change Faith noticed, particularly his smile.
Faith had never seen a happier boy.
Faith had no idea how to be a mother to a fourteen year old boy. But she knew she could only start with loving him, and that would not be a hard task at all.
As soon as Kit put Lucy down, she wrapped her little arm around his thigh, as though she was afraid he was going to go away again.
Kit looked to Faith, and Faith could immediately see his nervousness. Kit had nothing to be nervous about. Faith was the one who was nervous.
Kit took a deep breath and placed his hands in his pockets. "What do you think of me?" Kit asked Faith anxiously.
Faith smiled. "I think you belong right here," she said confidently. Kit visibly relaxed. Faith stood up on her toes, but even then she was not tall enough. Sensing what she wanted, Kit leant down so that Faith could place a kiss on his cheek. The nervousness disappeared as they both laughed. "Will you be a good older brother to Lucy?"
Kit tugged on one of Lucy's curls playfully. "The best," he promised.
Faith knew that Lucy would benefit from having a strong older brother. She might need protection in the coming years. People could be cruel, particularly to those who were different from them.
"And I will be the best mother that I can be for you," promised Faith. She suddenly paused. "Oh, do not feel any pressure to call me "Mother" or anything like that. I understand you may find that uncomfortable." Faith did not want to tread on the toes of Kit's natural mother, whoever she may be. She did not yet know of Kit's feelings towards his natural parents. That would be one of the many things Faith looked forward to learning about her new son.
Kit chewed on his bottom lip awkwardly. "Well, I would like to call you that, if you don't mind. I never had a mother before. I would really like one."
While Faith could have said something as equally enchanting, she promptly burst into tears and let out an unladylike sob. Faith wiped her eyes with her sleeve as Kit placed his arm around her shoulders. "Now, now, Mother. There is no need to cry."
Mother. That was Faith. She was hearing it and it was real. She felt a wave of maternal protection flow over the tall boy who was standing next to her. This child was hers, just as her other two children were.
"Wade, can you send for Mr Carne and have the other carriage brought around? And the cart, if the servants would like to go," instructed Cassian.
"Go where?" queried Faith. "Surely you are not going out again. You need to go upstairs to bed."
"I will. Later," replied Cassian. "Right now I have another affair to attend to. Is Finn here? Finn!" Cassian cried over his shoulder.
Kit was grinning sheepishly. He was in the know.
"What is going on?" Faith demanded to know.
Finn appeared at the door and descended the four steps to stand with the party. "Welcome back, Cassian," he greeted. "You must be Kit," he said to Kit. "A pleasure to meet you. I am Finn Kelly." He extended his hand.
"You, as well, Mr Kelly. I am Kit Kensington," he said proudly.
"Fancy attending my wedding this afternoon?" Cassian asked casually.
"A wedding. How grand!" Finn grinned. "Absolutely. I will send for a bottle of my finest champagne."
"A wedding to who?" Faith asked sarcastically. Surely he was not serious. Cassian looked so tired he could faint. Faith was a blubbering mess. Today was not the best day for a wedding.
"To you, of course," replied Cassian. He furrowed his brows. "Why not? We have three Kensingtons in residence. I would like to make it an even four."
"A wedding takes planning!"
"Best man." Cassian pointed at Kit. "Bridesmaid." He pointed at Lucy. "Witness." He pointed at Finn. "And most importantly, the bride and bridegroom."
Faith looked down at her plain blue dress. It was by no means a wedding gown, and not nearly as fancy as the gown she had first been married in. "But I look awful. Nothing like a bride."
"Faith, you are beautiful. I have been in love with you ever since you looked into my eyes and saw me and not the pauper I looked like. I have waited a very long time to marry you. You could be wearing a potato sack and I would not care. I do not want to waste another minute. If the last few months have taught me anything, it is that life is far too precious to deny ourselves happiness."
Faith stared down at Cassian and saw the sincerity in his dark eyes. He loved her. He really did. Faith felt as though she had paid her dues ten times over during her marriage to George. She had struggled and she had suffered, and somehow, through all that darkness, she had found her way to this man. She would love him for the rest of her days.
"Well, at least let me do something with my hair!" Faith cried as she ran up the stairs with the biggest smile on her face. She could hear the men laughing behind her as she excitedly cried, "Hattie, I need you help!"
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