It had been two weeks since Wanda left.

Two weeks since I felt my heart get taken out of my chest and it got played with.

I hadn't been going to work, I didn't even get a new phone to reach out to people, I didn't want to hear a single voice that wasn't hers.

Her voice.

The voice that scared me the first time I met her, but the same voice that calmed me down whenever I needed to feel safe and understood.

It was either one thing or the other with Wanda, there was nothing in between.

Good or bad. Happy or sad. Everything or nothing at all.

I was happy that she was able to give me the good parts after showing me part of the bad ones, but was I really expecting it would be like that forever? Was I really expecting our relationship to have ups and never downs?

It was too good to be true and I should've known.

I should've known something was going to ruin it.

I turned on the news every day at every moment I could, hoping to get even the slightest news about her, but nothing.

Every day I hoped for something, and it always turned out to be nothing but my imagination.

Sometimes I even thought I could hear the doorbell ring, but when I went to open the door there was no one.

There were though a few times when I heard people knocking on the door and it was real, I saw Morgan and Jules a couple of times from the peephole. Some of Wanda's friends occasionally, but I didn't let them in.

Not because I didn't want to, but because they probably knew something about Wanda that I wasn't ready to hear.

I didn't leave her house, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I even packed a suitcase with all my stuff to take it back to my apartment, but every time I tried to go I felt something pull me back in.

Her scent was still everywhere in the house and I couldn't decide whether I wanted it to be gone or not.

That was the difference between Wanda and I: she knew what she wanted. She knew where she was headed every time she did something. I didn't. Not even for the silliest situations, I always had to think, think and think.

Sometimes I wouldn't even end up acting on my decisions, I would just act as nothing happened.

I had to leave but I didn't want to.

I hadn't had contact with anyone in two weeks, and to be honest, it felt nice.

It felt nice to not have people reaching out to you, even when you know they're worried sick about you. You get trapped in your own little world that fits your needs just perfectly, no one could ever understand how you were feeling anyways, so why even bother trying?

Maybe that was what Wanda was feeling. Maybe she liked it too. But why is it that we're okay with something we do, but then when someone does the exact same thing to us, we are hurt by it?

Why doesn't everything just fit our own goods?

It would be all too easy, wouldn't it? There is no happiness without pain and there is no pain without happiness, as one day, no matter which one you're feeling first, someone is going to take it away from you and you'll be forced to feel the other.

My train of thought was interrupted by a knocking on the door, but I had to listen to it multiple times to make sure it wasn't just my imagination.

When I realized it wasn't, I looked through the peephole to find the one person I hadn't seen yet, and from their expression, they looked like they had something to tell me.

I slowly opened the door, her eyes went wide when she saw my face.

"Y/N..." Natasha whispered, she was looking at me with pity in her eyes.

"Hi, come in." I let them in and we both went into the living room, sitting down in front of each other on the couch.

"How are you?" They asked, knowing it was such a rhetorical question.

"I'm eating, I'm drinking, I'm breathing...I'm alive." I blurted out. "What about you?"

"I'm holding up decently, I think."

An uncomfortable silence fell upon us, and I knew Natasha wouldn't come here just to check up on me, we weren't that close. They were very caring, and they always have been to me, but I knew she had something to tell me.

"Let's just get to the point, Nat." I told them, and even though they looked surprised by my words, they nodded.

"Has she reached out to you?"

The question made me laugh: why would she? She didn't even come back to pack her stuff and it had been fourteen days.

"She left everything here, I think it's safe to say I won't hear anything from her."

Natasha's face lowered, her hands were now in their hair. This was affecting her as much as it was affecting me.

"She came to me." They stated after staying silent for a few moments. "She came to me before she left. She just gave me a hug without saying anything and she handed me a piece of paper." She continued, reaching for something in her pocket.

Nat handed me a folded piece of paper that had "for Y/N" written on it.

I held it in my hands as if the most precious thing in the world was in my hands, because at that moment, it was.

"I waited to give you this because I thought you needed some time to process everything, I know building up thing by thing is not good. I haven't read it, by the way, so I can't tell you what it is about." They explained, and I appreciated them pointing that out.

"Thanks, Nat."

"Of course."

I looked at it over and over again, battling if I should open it or not.

"Nat?" I called out, getting their attention.

"Yeah?"

"I haven't reached out to anyone because my phone is broken...will you come with me to go buy a new one?"

I saw her smile, they probably weren't expecting that.

"Yeah, of course. Let's go."

I set the letter aside, leaving it on the couch, I would read it later. I needed to let everyone know I was doing fine, or at least I was trying to.