《Lost & Insecure》Twenty - Last First Kiss
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It was Sunday afternoon and Dana was sitting in her desk chair with her feet on her windowsill, plucking her acoustic guitar. She started playing a song, and neglected to notice Eddie standing in her doorway with Katie standing beside him.
Eddie forced a cough in order to announce his presence. Dana leaned the back of her head onto the back on the chair and groaned, "What do you want?"
"I didn't know you played guitar," Katie's voice caused Dana's eyes to shoot open. Dana sat up straight and looked at Katie.
"I don't really. I mean I'm no Orianthi," Dana shrugged. Dana looked back to her doorway where Eddie proceeded to send her a look before leaving.
"What song was that?" Katie asked, sitting on the edge of Dana's bed.
"Uh, nothing. You probably wouldn't know it. It's kind of embarrassing, to be honest." Dana said, rubbing the back of her neck. Katie laughed at Dana and then asked her if she would play it again. Dana nodded then began playing the same song, but stopped only after a few seconds.
"Are you going to sing it?" Katie asked Dana with a smile.
Dana shook her head, slightly laughing, "No. I do not sing. I'll play guitar, but I won't sing the lyrics. Not around you at least." There was an awkward silence between Dana and Katie before Dana spoke up again, "What I mean is...I'm not trying to embarrass myself in front of you." Dana scrambled in search for a piece of paper. She found the paper, which contained the song lyrics and guitar chords, and handed it to Katie. Katie laughed, seeing the song and artist, and Dana pouted slightly. "I told you it was embarrassing, but the guitar in this song sounds really good and-"
"I'm not laughing because of the artist." Katie interrupted her. "I'm laughing because I do know part of this song. It just sounded different with only the guitar."
"Great," Dana smiled, "that means I don't have to sing it."
"Why this song?" Katie asked randomly. "Does it mean anything special to you?" Katie held her breath awaiting Dana's response. Dana paused, her eyes drifting between Katie's eyes and lips.
She nodded finally, "I think it does."
"Do you realize how cliché you two are right now?" Eddie asked, leaning against Dana's doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest.
"Yeah well," Dana gathered herself, flustered from her own thoughts. She quickly thought of a way to shut him up, sounding harsh in her response. "I'd rather be cliché and cute than desperately seeking Grace's attention like somebody I know."
"Hey!" Eddie uncrossed his arms and defensively pointed at Dana with his eyebrows furrowed. "It is not desperate, it's adorable!" He corrected her. "I came up here to tell you that dinner would be ready in a half an hour, and just for your rude comment, I'll call Grace and ask her to join us."
"She was already coming. She told me this morning, goof ball." Dana laughed slightly at Eddie.
Eddie grunted out of frustration. "Whatever, I have to set the table. Katie, are you staying?"
Katie shook her head, unsure, but Dana looked at her and joked, "Please stay. I need a witness to help me survive through his painful longing." Katie laughed at Dana and agreed to stay for dinner.
Katie and Grace were surprisingly civil with each other throughout dinner. They didn't act the exact same way that they had used to with each other, but considering Katie went through a phase of hating Grace and not talking to her at all, it was quite the accomplishment for the two girls. They were still close friends; just not the best friends they once were, but Grace hoped that would change.
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After dinner, Dana, Katie, Grace, and Eddie went downstairs to watch a movie in the media room. Dana and Katie sat next to each other on one side of the L-Shaped couch while Eddie and Grace sat on the other side.
Dana laughed to herself halfway through the movie, noticing Eddie. Dana tapped Katie, who was lying down with her legs resting on Dana's lap. Katie looked up at Dana who pointed at Eddie. Katie looked over and chuckled slightly, seeing Grace asleep with her head on a pillow on Eddie's leg and Eddie's awkward face clearly not knowing how to react to Grace. Eddie looked like he was struggling to decide whether or not he should move.
Katie looked back up at Dana and whispered, "He likes her so much it hurts. It's so cute."
Dana chuckled quietly, "It actually is really adorable. I've never seen him like this before."
"Has he ever seen you like that?" Katie raised an eyebrow at Dana.
Dana awkwardly laughed and jokingly pushed Katie's face away. "Watch the movie, you nerd."
Dana couldn't help but steal a glance or two at Katie throughout the movie. Dana didn't want to care about Katie as much as she did, but she couldn't help it. As much as she liked to deny it, Dana loved the sound of Katie's laugh and the glimmer in Katie's eyes whenever she smiled. She could lie to herself all she wanted, but Dana couldn't resist Katie's smile or the way Katie's hand fit perfectly with hers.
Dana kept thinking about what Katie had told her a few days beforehand – that Dana gave Katie killer bees, not butterflies – and Dana couldn't help but hate the fact that she felt the same way towards Katie. Dana hated seeing Katie with Jesse. She could handle it, but it still hurt. Seeing the person you want to be with end up with someone else is one of the worst pains, and Dana had no idea but she was experiencing exactly what Zach had told Eddie about. They were all dominoes.
By the end of the movie, Eddie wasn't as obviously uncomfortable, Grace was still sleeping, and Katie and Dana were holding hands under a blanket. The movie was almost over when Grace's phone went off and woke her up. She answered it with a hazy voice. "What? Yes. No. Yes. I just am okay? Yeah, yeah." Grace hung up and apologized for the interruption.
Only a few seconds passed before Katie's phone began to buzz. She groaned and rolled her eyes before climbing off of the couch and taking the phone call in another room. Katie walked back into the room a few moments later, still on the phone. She walked over to Grace and mouthed a question that Eddie and Dana couldn't see and Grace hesitantly nodded in response. Katie gave a thumbs up to Grace before leaving the room again. After a couple minutes, she walked back into the room one more time and groaned in annoyance, and collapsed onto the couch.
"Was it Jesse?" Dana asked Katie. Katie groaned into the couch, signaling a yes. "What did he want?"
Katie sat up and pouted. "Me. Because he can't have Grace."
"I'm sorry, Katie." Grace frowned slightly. "I promise that I haven't even looked at Jesse since-"
"It's fine, Grace." Katie cut her off. "I'm not upset with you. I mean no shit he's attracted to you. Who wouldn't be? I'm upset that I'm my own boyfriend's third choice."
"Third?" Eddie, Dana, and Grace all asked in unison.
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Katie nodded. "I guarantee you he's at a party right now, struck out with some random girl, struck out with Grace, and then decided to call me." Katie shook her head, "I mean honestly I'm over it. I don't feel anything towards him, and I'm tired of us pretending like we're okay." There was a silence before Eddie spoke up and redirected the conversation.
"Hey, he struck out with you too. And in bowling, three strikes is a turkey!" Eddie proudly pointed out.
"Ed," Dana's eyebrows furrowed, "how the hell does that have anything to do with what we're talking about?"
Eddie shook his head, "It doesn't. But it was a fun fact and fun facts always make people feel better. Right?" The three girls laughed at him.
"Come on." Dana said to everyone, making her way up the stairs.
"Where are we going?" Grace asked.
"I'm in the mood for froyo."
"Your what hurts?" Eddie asked, confused.
"Frozen yogurt," Dana clarified. "Now shut up and get in the car." Dana ruffled Eddie's hair and shoved him out of the door. Dana told her mom where they were going before they left.
A few minutes later, the four climbed out of Dana's car and made their way towards the frozen yogurt shop. "Hey," Eddie stopped and pointed towards a car in the parking lot, "Isn't that Jesse's jeep?"
Dana, Grace, and Eddie sat at a table next to the large window in the frozen yogurt shop in silence and gawked at the scene that was happening in the parking lot. Katie had waited impatiently for Jesse by his car until Jesse showed up with a stranger on his arm. Almost instantly after that, Katie and Jesse started fighting in the middle of the parking lot. And it looked ugly. After several minutes, Katie stormed into the frozen yogurt shop.
"And that's why penguins can't fly!" Dana said the first thing that came to her mind, and Grace and Eddie played along. Katie couldn't help but smile at them as she took a seat at the table. There was an awkward silence among the group. Everyone watched Katie, unsure of what to say.
Katie finally broke the silence. "We broke up."
Without skipping a beat, Dana, Grace, and Eddie all clapped and cheered and shamelessly made giant fools of themselves in the middle of the shop. Katie just laughed at them. Eddie lightly placed a hand on Katie's arm and asked, "This time it's for good though right? Because if you two get back together tomorrow, then I owe Dana twenty bucks."
Katie laughed again shaking her head. "No, we're really over." Katie found herself smiling at Dana, and Dana smiling right back.
"Well!" Eddie interrupted. "We should get going, shouldn't we? It's getting late." The girls agreed with Eddie and followed him out the door. A few minutes later Dana pulled into her driveway and the four teenagers exited the car. Grace followed Eddie up the stairs and to the front door.
"It's late so I'm going to go." Katie said.
"I'll walk you." Dana volunteered. She saw that Eddie and Grace looked like they had something to say to one another, so she figured she should get out of their way. The two crossed the street and walked up to Katie's front door.
"Thanks Dana, I had a good time tonight," Katie smiled. Dana returned her smile and told Katie that she had a good time as well. They exchanged uncomfortable small talk before Katie shook her head and said what was really on her mind. "Dana, now that Jesse and I are broken up for good-"
Dana cut Katie off. "Wait," Dana sighed. "Look Katie, I want to be with you, believe me I really want to be with you, but I think that maybe we shouldn't just jump into it. We kind of, sort of tried that before and it didn't work. Maybe we should just keep our distance and be friends first. I don't want to just kiss you and call you my girlfriend." Dana shook her head slightly. "Actually, that is what I want to do." Katie chuckled at Dana. "But my point is, maybe we should just...ease into it."
Katie lowered her head and then looked back at Dana and released a small sigh. "Okay." She agreed. "We're friends. For now." Dana nodded and said goodnight to Katie.
Dana walked back across the street and made her way to her porch where Grace and Eddie were still standing. "Oh Grace, do you need a ride home?"
"No. My dad is actually coming to get me." Grace answered. "Thanks though." Dana looked at Eddie and patted his shoulder before making her way inside to leave the two alone to talk.
Eddie and Grace ended up sitting on the railing of the porch while waiting for Grace's dad to pick her up. They talked for a while until Eddie said something idiotic as usual and made Grace laugh at him. Eddie stared at Grace for a moment before he found himself leaning in to kiss her. Grace kissed Eddie back at first, but pulled away from him shaking her head, "I'm sorry."
"What's wrong?" Eddie's brown eyes saddened. Eddie had become great friends with Grace. He fell for her harder than he could have admitted. He wanted to be with her as much as Dana wanted to be with Katie, if not more. He loved that he finally made a move but hated that she stopped him. He was terrified that she wouldn't feel the same, and he now had to face her decision.
"Eddie..." Grace looked forward and avoided Eddie's eyes, knowing that they'd make her weak. "This, whatever this is, it can't work. There is no way it can. I wish it could but it can't. I can't hurt you more than I already have. I won't let myself. We can't get our hopes up because we both know this will never work. It's better just to stay friends because we're both going to end up heartbroken in the end. I'm sorry but I just can't. It's better for you if we're just friends. I come with too much baggage and cause too much heartache."
Eddie felt his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. "Grace...we were never together. There's nothing t-to stop."
Grace saw a car coming down the street and got up to walk away, still avoiding Eddie. "I have to go."
There was a silence at first until Eddie realized what was happening and called after Grace. "Wait," Grace turned around to face Eddie, but remained silent. "I can't." Eddie walked towards Grace. "I can't be just friends with you."
"We can't be anything more." Grace said dismissingly. "It's not worth the hurt."
Eddie shook his head and furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't care. I've been hurt before, you have no idea the beating my heart can take."
"I can't. I only cause pain. Eddie please, this won't work." Grace pleaded. Eddie could tell Grace had tears forming in her eyes.
Eddie took another step closer to her. "Give me a real reason." He begged her with a low voice.
Grace stared into his deep brown eyes. "I'm toxic." She answered him. "I won't let myself hurt you."
"I want you, Grace."
"No. Eddie stop." She gently pushed him away. "You can't like me. Please, you just need to get over me."
"You're right. I don't like you," Eddie grabbed Grace's hand that she used to push him and moved closer to Grace once again. "I love you, Grace."
"Eddie, I-"
"Please. I'm not giving up. I know you feel the same. I can tell you want me as much as I want you."
Grace hugged him with water filled eyes. Eddie felt his heart churn in his stomach. "I'm sorry," Grace whispered. She pulled away and stared at him once more before kissing his cheek and whispering again. "Goodbye Eddie." And with that, Grace left. Eddie held onto her hand for as long as he could before he had to let go. He watched as Grace's father's car disappeared.
Eddie, sluggish and heartbroken, made his way into the house. He walked into the family room where Dana was seated with her face in her palms. Eddie collapsed next to her on the couch and leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling. Neither one of them said a word.
A knock on the front door caused Dana and Eddie to sit up and look at each other confused. They both stood up, still not speaking, and walked to the front door. There was another knock and Eddie and Dana looked at each other before Eddie opened the door slowly. Eddie and Dana both had their own prayers at who could be at the door.
Once the door opened, Katie swiftly made her way inside saying quickly, "Fuck it. I never wanted to be just friends with you." Katie grabbed Dana and pulled her into a kiss. Katie pulled away. "Okay, that's all I wanted to say. I'll call you tomorrow. Night." Katie ran out of the front door and pulled the door closed behind her, leaving Dana and Eddie speechless.
Dana looked at Eddie who was already looking at her, still wearing his desperate and heartbroken eyes. Eddie tried to smile at Dana, but couldn't manage it. All he could get out was a quiet and forced "At least one of us got the girl."
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