《Lost & Insecure》Eighteen - Maybe
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Dana tiptoed into her house a little after eleven. She slouched when she heard the TV in the family room. She rounded the corner, dropping her keys on the end table. The sound of Dana's keys startled Eddie awake. After catching himself on the couch, he stretched and rubbed his eyes then looked up at Dana who was looking past him. Karen was sitting on the couch across from Dana. Eddie looked between the two of them before yawning and running up to bed.
"Sorry," Dana quietly apologized for being out so late on a Monday.
"It's fine." Karen stood up and walked across the room. "At least you came home." She pecked Dana's forehead goodnight and then continued up the stairs.
Dana smiled at her mother and made her way upstairs to her room. Karen wasn't always so calm when it came to Dana being out so late, but after experiencing what the both of them went through last year, Karen knew she had to trust Dana and as long as she came home, not to get too angry or punish Dana too severely.
If anyone was the one to worry about and scold Dana for disappearing, it was Eddie. As bad as it sounded, he had gotten used to worrying about Dana. Dana wasn't the type of person to really face her problems. She was an extremely passionate person, but she was also the type of person who walked away when they got angry or too upset. It doesn't sound that terrible, but when someone who experiences very strong emotions on a daily basis is the type of person to walk away, you find yourself with someone who tends to go missing – a lot. And considering the condition Dana was in when she began disappearing more frequently a year ago, Eddie's worrying was more than justified.
Dana climbed in bed and couldn't help but fall asleep with a smile on her face. She was clearly the kind of person to live in the moment, and this moment just happened to be a really good one.
Dana was awoken by Eddie running into her room and jumping on her bed like a kid on Christmas morning. "Eddie..." Dana's drowsy complaints were muffled through the pillows. "What are you doing?"
"Waking you up." Eddie said, pulling a pillow away from Dana and throwing it across the room. He smiled at her and she slapped her hand onto his face, pulling his nose and pinching his cheek. "Uh, D?" His smiled disappeared as he became confused. "What are you doing?"
"Looking for the snooze button."
Eddie laughed at her before jumping on the bed in an attempt to wake her up. Dana eventually rolled out of bed, and onto the floor. She pulled herself up and gave him an evil glance. "Why are you so abnormally happy this morning?" She ran her hands through her wild and tangled hair then turned to walk toward the bathroom.
"What? I can't just be in a good mood?" Eddie's radiating smile nearly blinded Dana.
"Either tell me what the hell shoved a coat hanger into your mouth to cause that smile or keep your happiness to yourself and leave." Dana pointed towards her bedroom door for a split second then continued on her journey to the shower.
"Okay well I'll tell you, but once you're dressed. I don't want us becoming those overly attached, creepily close cousins that everyone runs away from because one wrong move and we're famous serial killers."
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"Just go." Dana laughed at him, pointing towards the exit. Eddie threw a pillow at her, bounced off of her bed, and then continued out of the door closing it behind him.
Dana ran downstairs twenty-something minutes later, fully clothed and ready to go, only making a pit stop for a Pop-Tart. "Come on, Edward. Can't be late!" Dana grabbed Eddie by the hood of his sweatshirt, forcing Eddie to shove the rest of his waffle and orange juice into his mouth. He grabbed his backpack on the way out of the kitchen and followed Dana out the garage.
Eddie made his way to the passenger side of Dana's car. He glanced across the street, waiting for Dana to unlock the car door. Just as he looked up he witnessed Katie exiting her house and send a smile in Dana's direction before entering Jesse's car, causing Eddie's suspicions to rise. "What the hell was that?" Eddie asked, getting into Dana's car.
"What the hell was what?" Dana asked innocently. "And don't change the subject!" She scolded him. "You said you'd tell me why you were so chipper this morning."
"Well, if you must know," Eddie's voice was perfectly dramatic and caused Dana to chuckle at his stupidity, "Grace has been really upset since Jesse and Katie are now back together because Jesse is now pushing her away."
Dana's eyebrows wrinkled. "One: You talk to Grace? Like regularly? And two: Why is her heartbreak the cause of your happiness?"
"Yes, I talk to Grace. Don't sound so surprised. And to answer your other question, it's because Jesse pushing Grace away means that Grace will soon force herself to get over him which means she'll need a shoulder to cry on and I plan on being that shoulder." Eddie explained with a smile on his face.
"I'll never understand the power Jesse has over women."
"And I'll never understand the power you have over women." Eddie teased her. "I guess the world is just full of mysteries."
"Oh please," Dana scoffed, "my power over women is completely understandable." She quipped back at her cousin.
They pulled into the school parking lot and swung their bags over their shoulders as they exited the car. Eddie scanned the parking lot, spotting Jesse and Katie once again. Jesse had his arm draped around Katie's shoulder and Katie stole a glance at Dana. Eddie's jaw dropped as he looked at Dana then at Katie then back at Dana.
"Seriously?" Eddie's voice cracked. "I'm so confused!" Eddie's eyes widened as he met Dana's side while walking towards the school building. "Wait! Is she the reason you were out so late last night?"
"In a way." Dana half answered him.
"What. Did. You. Do?" Eddie glared at Dana and attempted to keep a straight face.
Dana laughed at Eddie and innocently shrugged. "Nothing happened, I swear. We just hung out and talked."
"You monster."
"Eddie," Dana laughed again, "I did nothing wrong." Dana's smiled faded as she saw someone waiting for her by the entrance. "Oh crap," she sent a smile towards Marissa who eagerly smiled back. Eddie gave Dana a suggestive face and caused Dana to slap his stomach in return before he escaped inside.
"Hey," Marissa walked up to Dana. Dana was afraid Marissa was going to be upset with her or confront her, but Marissa seemed like her normal self. She acted the same towards Dana that she would have any other day. Somehow, that scared Dana more.
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"Hey," she awkwardly returned Marissa's greeting. Dana felt too guilty to pretend like nothing happened. That just wasn't her. Dana sighed before speaking, "Look-"
"I'm sorry." Marissa interrupted. "I could tell by the immediate look in your eyes that you don't feel the same about me that I do about you. It's cool." She smiled at her. "To be completely honest, I'm not really ready to tell anyone, especially Jesse, about me yet. And I know you have feelings for Katie. So don't worry about it, I understand. Besides, I was probably reading into things way too deeply."
Dana's jaw nearly hit the ground in awe. "Please don't take this the wrong way but - marry me." She blurted out. Marissa just laughed at Dana and pushed her inside. "Seriously though, anyone else would have yelled at me and slapped me and told me to go screw myself."
Marissa shrugged smiling, "So I'm not like most people." Marissa walked into the school with Dana and noticed an awkward Katie standing on the side of the hallway. "It looks like someone wants to talk to you." Marissa turned to Dana with saddened eyes, but kept her smile. Dana half smiled at Marissa before she walked away and Dana walked over to Katie.
"Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend?" Dana smirked lightly at Katie.
"I told him to walk to class without me." Dana raised her eyebrow at Katie, surprised that she would actually speak to Dana in public, let alone blow her boyfriend off to walk to class with her. But she did. Katie walked to homeroom with Dana, not focusing on anything but the conversation she was having with Dana.
☼ ☼ ☼
It was now Friday afternoon and Dana was at home, mindlessly surfing the Internet attempting to occupy her time. She and Katie had spent their mornings together on their way to class for the last few days. It was just small talk, but it made Dana happy.
She looked at her phone and sighed, and then proceeded to have a staring contest with it until she gave in. She picked it up, and rolled her eyes at herself before calling Katie's number. It rang only a couple of times before going to voicemail.
Dana knew that it should have rang longer if Katie just didn't see the call. She realized that Katie ignored it and suddenly felt slightly disappointed by the fact. She attempted to push the thought out of her mind, but for some reason couldn't. Then her phone began to buzz and she nearly fell out of her seat to answer it. "Hello?" She attempted to keep her tone calm and hide her obvious excitement.
There wasn't a response at first. Dana almost repeated herself but stopped when she heard a sniffle through the phone. Without any thought, Dana's smile was disappeared from her face as she asked Katie, "What happened?"
She heard another sniffle from the other line. "Dana..." Katie's voice never sounded so vulnerable to Dana.
"Are you okay?"
Dana could almost feel Katie shake her head. "No," she whispered. "Jesse thinks I've been acting weirdly when he's the one who keeps blowing me off, and I had practice today but it was raining so normally we would move into the gym, but there's some event going on so it was cancelled but no one told me, and Jesse was supposed to pick me up but I keep calling him and he's not answering and-"
"You're at school?" Dana glanced out of the window and saw that it was pouring outside.
"Yeah..." Katie couldn't help but sniffle once more through the phone. Dana attempted to cheer Katie up and get her to at least stop crying.
They talked on the phone for several minutes before Dana interrupted Katie mid-sentence, "If it's any consolation-" Dana stopped herself from continuing. She was now standing on one side of the small parking lot at the back of the school, staring at Katie who was across the parking lot. Dana was now drenched from the pouring down rain.
"Dana?" Katie asked her, confused as to why Dana stopped talking. "If it's any consolation what?"
Turn around... Dana thought to herself. "Nothing... Never mind. I forgot what I was saying." Dana's eyes saddened as she watched Katie climb into the black jeep that Dana had spotted as she rounded the corner and cut herself off.
"Okay well Jesse finally showed up. I'll talk to you tomorrow?"
"Yeah. Tomorrow." Dana hung up and stood still in the rain for a few moments before a familiar voice called out her name. She sluggishly turned around and spotted her friend. "Grace? What are you doing at school so late?"
"Well as much as I'd hate to admit it, I was getting help with one of my classes."
"You want a ride home?" Dana slightly laughed at her own helpless self. Grace smiled in agreement and the both made their ways to Dana's car.
"Wait, why were you here? And why were you standing in the rain?"
Dana explained to Grace that Katie was waiting for Jesse who wasn't picking up his phone and that she had grabbed her keys and ran to pick Katie up as soon as Katie told her what was wrong. Dana pulled up to Grace's house just as she finished telling Grace what had happened.
"Damn. You're the greatest person ever. I don't know anyone else that would do that." Dana laughed at Grace's comment. "So," Grace changed the subject, "Halloween is tomorrow and I'm having a party at my house. You better be coming." Grace smiled at Dana.
☼ ☼ ☼
Saturday night came faster than Dana had expected and she was now panicking, trying to find a costume to wear to the party. "Edmund!" Eddie leaned on the doorframe of Dana's bedroom but she was too deep into her closet to look at him.
"You rang?"
"Do you know what you're wearing to the party? I have no idea and I'm freaking ou-" Dana cut herself off as she turned and faced Eddie.
He smiled and gestured to himself, "You like?"
"How the hell did you find a costume so fast?" Dana whined.
"Oh I didn't. Grace told me about the party awhile ago and told me that she was going as Juliet, so I appropriately searched long and hard to find this costume to become her Romeo."
"That's cute Ed, but I have no idea what I'm supposed to wear."
"I do." Eddie shot Dana a look and she shook her head in disapproval. "Oh, come on! You know you love that costume! And you only wore it once! What's the problem?"
"The problem? You know the problem. The problem is a who that I wore that costume with last year and I'm not about to wear that costume again. There are too many angry feelings there." Dana sent a grumpy look towards Eddie, but he just smirked at her.
Before they knew it, Eddie and Dana were standing outside of Grace's house. "I can't believe you convinced me to wear this."
"Oh stop being such a baby." Eddie teased Dana before dragging her to the front door. They let themselves inside and gawked at the party around them. It seemed like everyone at their high school was in Grace's house, all dressed up in amazing Halloween costumes.
Grace walked into the room and Eddie couldn't help but smile at his gorgeous Juliet. She smiled back at him and laughed when she noticed his costume. "It looks like you might have some competition for Romeo tonight." Eddie's smile faded as he asked who the other Romeo was. Grace pointed across the room to another handsome Romeo making his way towards them. Eddie rolled his eyes when he noticed the other Romeo was Jesse.
"Please tell me there's another Juliet." Eddie pleaded. Jesse shook his head no with a smirk and Eddie did his best to stop himself from punching Jesse just for being Jesse.
Dana excused herself from the awkward trio and headed to get herself a drink. She looked up and spotted Ashley and Mason heading towards her. She couldn't help but spit out her drink because of her laughter. "We know," Ashley proudly smiled. "We're the best costumed couple here. I'm a sleazy gentlemen's club owner,"
"And I'm the star stripper." Mason finished Ashley's thought. Dana's eyes gawked at the two of them. Ashley had somehow managed to style her hair into a disturbingly realistic comb over, found a perfectly oversized corduroy suit, and added the perfect touch of a bulky costume gold chain. Mason's costume consisted of a firefighter themed stripper outfit complete with booty shorts, suspenders, a helmet, and no shirt. His outfit displayed his perfectly sculpted body, but no one dared to steal a glace at Mason – especially with Ashley around.
Dana busted into laughter at the two. She stood and talked with them for a few minutes, still occasionally chuckling at the sight of them, before she couldn't help herself anymore and asked where Katie was. "I honestly don't know. Sorry," Ashley shrugged.
"Nice costume." A voice from behind Dana spoke up. Dana turned around and saw Katie standing there. She felt her eyes widen at the sight of Katie.
Dana was about to speak up, but Grace ran over and spoke up instead. "Hey, you're both here! Oh Katie, did you ever thank Dana for what she did yesterday?"
Katie looked at Grace with a confused look. "What do you mean?"
"She drove all the way to school to pick you up, but Jesse was already there." Someone complaining that the dip for chips was running low and the punch needed refilling had pulled Grace away before saying another word. Katie and Dana were left awkwardly staring at each other.
"Do you want to-" The both of them spoke up simultaneously and then shared a laugh. Mason leaned down to Ashley's ear to whisper something to her before the two of them quietly exited the room.
"Do you want to get some air?" Katie offered. Dana nodded and followed Katie outside. Dana went to sit on one of the seats on the deck, but Katie surprised her by climbing onto the low roof next to the deck. Dana looked at Katie with confusion, and Katie shrugged. "What? I thought you had a thing for roofs?" Dana followed Katie and they both sat on the roof in silence for a brief moment. "Did you really do that? Drive to get me." Katie's voice was low, and cut through Dana like a sharp knife in her gut. Dana nodded, not knowing what to say. "That's what you were going to say when you said 'if it's any consolation' isn't it?" Katie felt terrible once she realized what had happened. "Why were you standing there though?"
"I thought pulling up in my car wouldn't have been as romantic as walking around the corner in the rain." Dana jokingly confessed.
Katie laughed slightly at Dana and then looked into her eyes. "You really do look amazing tonight."
"Thanks." Dana smiled shyly, her cheeks reddening slightly. She was dressed as Zorro, in a simple black dress, cape, hat, and of course mask. "You look amazing too." Dana said, referring to Katie's feminine take on Robin Hood. They both relished in the fact that their costumes essentially came from the same idea, and Dana found herself happy Eddie pressured her to pull the costume out.
"Hey Dana,"
"Yeah?"
Katie hesitated, but then reached slowly to lower Dana's mask off. Dana felt herself catch her breath in anticipation of what Katie was going to do next. She found herself studying Katie's every slow movement, and then Katie's lips collided with Dana's. Katie reluctantly pulled away from the kiss after a moment, her heart sinking into her stomach. "Thank you. For almost being my knight in shining armor," Katie whispered. Dana smiled again at Katie and then pulled Katie towards her again. In that moment, neither one of them cared if anyone walked out and saw them.
Dana just wanted to be with Katie, in that moment, for as long as she could. She knew that Katie wasn't going to let them be together, but Dana couldn't stop her feelings for her. And kissing Katie was almost as perfect as actually being with her. It gave Dana a feeling of hope. Like someday, they could be together.
Someday,
Maybe.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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