《Lost & Insecure》Fifteen - ...Fight For It
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Ashley was there for Katie. She wanted Katie to be happy, and she knew that Jesse could never be the cause of that happiness. Watching her best friend put on a fake smile and brave the world was enough to make Ashley just as unhappy as Katie. It had been less than a week since Katie told Ashley, and already Katie both loved and regretted that she told Ashley the truth about her. Granted, Ashley always knew, but Katie liked to at least pretend she could have been straight. Or at least pretended to be.
Only two days had passed since Katie and Dana spoke last, but to Katie those two days felt like an eternity. She attempted to send Dana messages, she even called her, but Dana wouldn't reply or pick up her phone. So after school on Friday, Katie walked across the street and rang Dana's doorbell.
Katie's false smile faded when Eddie opened the door. Katie asked for Dana, but Eddie apologized, "Sorry, Katie. Dana isn't here. She had to be at work tonight."
"Work?" Katie assumed Eddie had lied to her. She knew Dana, and she knew Dana didn't have a job.
"Yeah. She applied a little over two weeks ago and started about a week ago. She works at some theater or stage or something a little more than half an hour from here."
Katie was wrong. Eddie hadn't lied. She had neglected to realize how long it had been since she and Dana actually spoke. Really talked. Katie couldn't recall the last time they spoke like they weren't complete strangers. "Thanks, Eddie." Eddie nodded and closed the door gently after Katie began to walk away.
Katie hung her head low as she slowly made her way back across the street. She was only a few steps from her front door when Ashley pulled up and shouted out of her window. "Hey, why so glum, chum?" Katie turned around and couldn't help but smile slightly at Ashley. She shrugged in response to the question. "Well," Ashley parked her car in the street and made her way to Katie, "you better get ready. We're going to a concert." Ashley's beaming smile convinced Katie in an instant to listen to her and fully cooperate.
It didn't take long for Katie to get ready. After grabbing some extra cash, and telling her mom what was happening, Katie climbed into Ashley's car and they headed to the concert. "So..." Katie interrupted the awkward silence between them.
"Katie, no offense but I hope you know that the only reason I'm taking you to this concert is because of Dana. She's a stagehand at the venue and got us backstage passes."
"You knew about Dana's job?"
"Well yeah. She still likes me," Ashley teased. Katie resisted the laugh that played on her lips, but she couldn't stop the small smile that appeared.
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Ashley and Katie were backstage for fifteen minutes before someone they knew finally walked over to them. Marissa's smile sent Katie into a downward spiral. Marissa could make anyone feel happier by just smiling. That didn't work with Katie. Marissa's smile made Katie think of Dana. Thinking of Dana meant thinking of Dana's smile. And laugh. And sarcasm. And captivating eyes. And the way she could look at Katie and see everything she was hiding. And the way Katie wanted her.
It only made sense that Katie didn't enjoy Marissa's smile. Katie felt terrible that she couldn't even look at Marissa, but it hurt her too much. Katie had known Jesse for as long as she could remember – which meant she knew Marissa as well. Over the years of knowing Marissa and eventually dating Jesse, Katie did grow to care about her. However, all that caring went downhill when Dana moved in. Katie felt something towards Marissa that she never had before. She was resentful. Katie was jealous. She was jealous of how close Marissa and Dana seemed to become. She was jealous that Marissa was often the one making Dana laugh. She was jealous that Marissa was most likely the one making Dana happy when no one else could. She was jealous that Marissa was, and had, everything she could have wanted.
Ashley could see the expression on her best friend's face. She could tell from a mile away how unhappy and uncomfortable Katie was. Luckily, Ashley also knew how to bring Katie back down to Earth and cheer her up – even temporarily. She managed to focus Katie back on the incredible situation they were in and to have fun with what could be a once in a lifetime experience.
After the first band got started on their set, Dana made her way to Marissa, Ashley, and Katie. She smiled at them; all of them. "So how's being backstage?" The trio all nodded their heads in approval and spat out random reasons why they were enjoying themselves. It wasn't long before Dana was summoned by the stage manager to get ready to set up for the next band that would be playing. As much as she wanted to stay, she knew she had to leave the group. "I'll be back soon," she smiled. "Hopefully." Dana corrected herself after hearing another request from the stage manager.
Ashley soon got thirsty and went searching for a drink, leaving Katie and Marissa by themselves. Ashley was well aware of how Katie felt towards Marissa, and she wanted the two to be able to talk about it. Sneaking off to get a beverage was a bonus. The two simultaneously turned to one another and attempted to speak after Ashley left them. They stopped after seeing the other one attempt to say something. Katie was, surprisingly, the first to apologize and offer to let Marissa speak.
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"I just wanted to say sorry. I know it's been awkward between us lately and we were never the closest, but you're my brother's girlfriend. And I thought that we were at least friends. I figure we at least need to be civil now. Right?" Marissa smiled, wiping the smile off of Katie's face.
Katie swallowed and nodded in agreement. "Look, I don't know what Dana or Jesse might have told you about me, I don't know what you might have heard, and I know that people can change a lot so I may be completely different than what you think, but," she paused and sighed, "I'm not as much of a pain in the ass as I come off to be. I promise." Marissa laughed, discouraging Katie. "What?"
"Nothing." Marissa attempted to stop laughing. Marissa wasn't laughing because she thought Katie was a jerk. It was just that Katie thought everyone hated her. That everyone had something bad to say. That wasn't true. Sure, everyone had something to say, but it was rarely negative. "Despite him being an asshole half the time lately, Jesse really does care about you and practically worships the ground you walk on. And Dana? To be honest, she doesn't really say much about you." Marissa and Katie both let out a small chuckle. "But when she does," Marissa half smiled at Katie, "it's only ever good things."
Katie smiled at the thought of Dana's positive comments. Katie looked towards the stage and saw Dana standing in the wing. Dana looked up and made a funny face. Katie looked back at Marissa who was now laughing at Dana's goofiness. "I see the way you look at her." Katie, for once, wasn't attacking Marissa. She sounded sweet for the first time in a long time. "It's like the way Mason looks at Ashley, or the way I imagine Romeo looked at Juliet except more. Like," Katie searched for the right words, "like-"
"Like the way she looks at you?" Marissa looked at Katie with saddened eyes.
Katie stuttered, shocked at Marissa's comment. "I-I-"
"Don't worry. Dana didn't say anything about you." Marissa reassured her. "But when you like someone," Marissa's eyes dropped to the ground, "you tend to notice when they're interested in someone else."
Katie could feel a chill run throughout her body. She didn't know why, but she felt goose bumps pop up all over her skin. Marissa picked her head up, and Katie sighed then tried her best to smile at Marissa. "So you're-"
"Very."
"And Jesse-"
"Doesn't know. But I'll tell him. Soon."
"And I'm-"
"Not subtle at all." Marissa joked, making Katie laugh. "Maybe to most people you are, but from one lesbian to another, it's pretty obvious."
"Right..." That was the first time anyone had called Katie a lesbian. She felt like a turtle, and all she wanted to do was retreat back into her shell. But that wasn't possible.
Marissa noticed the look on Katie's face. "I won't tell. I promise. That's your own business." She reassured her. "Just promise not to hurt my brother. I get being unsure, but I can tell you don't want to be with him. I know you want to be with Dana and, as weird as this sounds coming from me, I don't think you should just let her go so easily."
Katie was still lost in what Marissa had said earlier. "What are you suggesting I do?"
"Dana is an amazing person." Marissa said, stating the obvious. "She's not going to be single and waiting for you forever. Other people are going to be interested in her. Believe me. So my advice? You better fight for her. It's either that or let her go forever and leave her the hell alone." There was a moment of silence before Marissa spoke again. "Just know that if you do decide to fight for her...well you got yourself some competition." Marissa teasingly nudged Katie who found herself genuinely laughing at Marissa.
It was weird to Katie to have the one person she had been secretly loathing being so supportive and sweet to her. Katie knew that if she was in Marissa's position, she wouldn't have been any bit of nice to her. If she was in Marissa's position, she would have probably done something twisted like blackmailed her into backing off of Dana. Maybe not to that extent, but Katie knows that she would've been more resentful. And well, she was. Although her affection didn't appear to be unrequited, Katie knew that she would've done anything to keep people away from Dana if she were in Marissa's shoes.
That was the clear difference between Marissa and Katie. Marissa was genuine and kind and cared for everyone she met. Katie, on the other hand, had trust issues and was apprehensive around new people. Katie didn't command a room like Marissa did. Katie knew how different she and Marissa were. She knew that no matter how hard she wanted to pretend, Marissa was the good girl, and Dana deserved someone like Marissa. They would have been perfect together. But Katie knew something else too. She had an advantage.
She had an advantage because although Marissa deserved Dana, Dana didn't want her. At least not as much as she wanted the pain in the ass that was Katie Torres.
And that? That was enough to make Katie fight.
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The Simulacrum
"He who fights with harem tropes should see to it that he himself does not become a harem protagonist. And if you gaze for long into a narrative, the narrative gazes also into you." --- Friedrich Nietzsche (probably?) How would you react if one day you woke up inside an environment running on tropes and clichés? For allegedly average high-schooler Leonard Dunning, this question became quite relevant when one day he woke up in a pristine city on a strange island in the middle of the Atlantic, without any memories, surrounded by classmates who are barely more than characterless placeholders, and with a classic indecisive harem protagonist and his impossibly beautiful love interests for friends. That would be hard to deal with already, yet his investigation into the tropes governing the world, trying to avoid harem shenanigans, and his odd blend of outside-context knowledge, unique abilities, and a penchant for causing trouble wherever he goes ends up dragging him into the center of the action anyway. Disclaimer: This is a tongue-in-cheek, slice of life romantic comedy, with occasional sprinkles of combat and mystery to spice things up. Please do not expect a straight up deconstruction beyond some in-universe meta-commentary by the characters.
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