《Lost & Insecure》Twelve - Be Here Now.
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Eddie was rambling away as he walked down the hallway on Friday morning with Dana. He was in the middle of telling his dramatized version of something that happened to him a few days prior when he noticed Dana wasn't listening to him. "And then I went swimming with a purple giraffe," he said attempting to get her attention back.
"What?" Dana apologetically looked up at him. Eddie shot Dana a look and she slummed down slightly. "Sorry, Ed. I'll pay attention next time?" She gave him a small smile. Before he could react, Dana's phone buzzed and Eddie saw a small smirk appear of Dana's face.
"Who are you smiling at?" He asked, curious and slightly annoyed. "Katie?" His eyebrow rose.
Dana immediately looked up at him. "Katie? No. It's no one. Just a friend of mine."
"You smirk at just friends' texts like that?" Eddie tilted his head as he interrogated Dana.
"I'm sorry, am I not allowed to enjoy a casual conversation anymore?" She shook her head in annoyance, but decided to humor him and continue the conversation. "I'm texting my friend, Marissa." Dana outstretched the word friend as much as she could, pronouncing nearly every letter. Eddie forced his eyebrow even further upward causing Dana to roll her eyes at him and continue walking.
Eddie relaxed his eyebrow and caught back up with Dana. "She cute?" Dana nodded. "She a senior?" Dana shook her head no. "She swing her bat the same way you do?" Dana stopped and made a face at Eddie. He innocently shrugged. "What?"
"'Swing her bat'? What are you, like seven?"
"So you don't know?"
"She's really hard to read."
Eddie laughed at his cousin and smothered her in a hug. Dana jokingly tried to push him off of her, but it was no use. Jesse walked by and grunted as he saw them. "Get a room." He mumbled, disgusted.
"Get a life!" Eddie called after him.
Jesse stopped walking and turned around to face Eddie. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me." Eddie angered.
Jesse got in Eddie's face, but as he was about to say something a voice scolded him from down the hallway. "Jesse Cornelius Kowalski!"
"That's not my middle name, and you know that!" Jesse squeaked back, whipping his head around to face the voice. Marissa stood at the end of the hallway with a mischievous smile on her face. Marissa shot him a look that told him to knock it off. Jesse grunted again and walked away, and Marissa smiled at Dana before following her brother.
"What? Who? What?" Eddie looked at Dana, unable to form an actual sentence.
"That's Marissa," Dana smiled, "Jesse's little sister."
"Way to go, D." Eddie lightly slapped Dana on her back in a joking manner. Dana shook her head at him, and they continued to head to class.
Dana pulled into her driveway with Eddie after school. They both got out of the car and walked into the house, celebrating the fact that it was Friday. Not too long after they entered the house there was a knock on the door. Dana answered, seeing Katie standing there. "Are you stalking me?" She joked.
"Can we talk?" Katie asked without skipping a beat.
"Ah, three words I should have really learned to hate by now." Dana forced a half smile on her face and stepped aside for Katie to walk in. "So what's up?" Dana asked, closing the front door behind Katie.
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"Okay, well...um..." Katie fiddled with her fingers, not knowing how to get the words she wanted to say out. Dana just stood back and watched her struggle until she could finally form a sentence. "Dana," Katie sighed.
"Katie," Dana jokingly sighed, exaggeratingly mimicking Katie.
"Dana," Katie sighed again, "you know I like you."
"I like you too, Katie."
"No." Katie interrupted Dana. "I mean like I like you." She dragged out every part of the word like. "As in more than a friend. I mean obviously because I kissed you and friends don't just kiss friends. I mean I guess some friends do, but not me. I don't kiss friends that I want to be just friends with."
"Katie, you don't have-"
"No," Katie interrupted her once again, and began slowly pacing in front of Dana. "I need to tell you. Ever since we first met I haven't been able to get you out of my head. And the story you told me, of the other Katie... and the way you felt when you looked at her..." Katie stopped pacing and looked Dana in the eyes. "That's how I feel with you. You're confusing me. Everything I thought I knew? You're making me doubt all of it."
"So what you're saying is that-"
"I want you, Dana. I want to be with you." Katie heard herself finally admit it out loud. Dana attempted to speak again, but Katie stopped her. "And I don't care what your response is. I just had to get it off my chest. And to be honest, I don't know if I'm really ready-"
"Katie-"
"I mean honestly yes, I do wish that I could have told you earlier, or in a different way and I-"
Before Katie could say another word, Dana pressed her lips against Katie's to shut her up. "Katie," Dana stared at her once she pulled away, "I want you, too." Katie smiled at her and let out a sigh of relief. She rested her head on Dana's shoulder, and Dana laughed at Katie.
"So," Katie looked back up at Dana, "I like you, you like me...we got this mutual kind of thing going on...what now?"
Dana cocked her head at Katie's question. "Well, generally, a date would happen."
"Right. Logically that would happen wouldn't it? I mean that's what kids do nowadays isn't it?"
"Katie, are you okay?"
Katie nodded vigorously, "Yes. It's just that...yes I want to be with you," Katie smiled before hanging her head, "but just not anywhere people will see us..." Dana clenched her jaw, holding back the words she really wanted to say. Katie noticed the look on Dana's face. "Dana, I'm sorry. I feel bad, it's just-"
"No," Dana interrupted Katie for once, "it's fine. I get it. I understand."
"Thanks." Katie gave her a small smile and headed for the door. "Most people wouldn't be so cool. Well, I'm guessing most people wouldn't."
"I'm not most people." Dana opened the door and Katie left. Dana closed the door and leaned her head against it.
"Well, well, well." Eddie leaned against the wall with an evil grin on his face as he took a bite out of an apple. "Who didn't see that coming? Am I right?" He gestured to an imaginary audience and began to interact with his fictional fans. Dana rolled her eyes at Eddie and stole his apple, then proceeded to throw it at him before walking away. "Hey! I was eating that!" Eddie complained. "You know, D," Eddie's seriousness stopped Dana in her tracks, "you're not good with the whole secret thing."
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"And your point is?" Dana sent him an unpleased look.
"Just be careful. We both know what happened last time."
☼ ☼ ☼
Dana and Eddie were in their backyard turning on their grill on Saturday afternoon. "Dana?" Karen's voice caught the attention of the two teenagers. "You have a friend here," Karen moved back inside and opened the back door wider so Grace could walk out. Dana and Eddie both looked at each other, confused, and then looked back at Grace who was now making her way towards them.
Grace half-waved and pulled a strand of her hair behind her ear. She buried her hands in her back pockets. "Sorry for just dropping by, I was just wondering if you guys wanted to do something today." Eddie was about to respond when the backdoor began to open again. "Oh, I hope you don't mind. I brought someone along."
A second girl made her way over to the three others. Dana immediately looked at Grace, "You know Marissa?"
Grace nodded. "She's Jesse's little sister, this is a small town, and we go to the same church." Eddie attempted to hold in a laugh after Grace's last point making Dana hit him in the stomach. Grace saw, but decided to ignore it. "So yes, I know Marissa."
"Well it's nice to officially meet you, Marissa." Eddie smiled and reached out his hand, which Marissa politely took. She smiled in reply. "Dana and I were just about to make a few burgers. Would you two like to join us?" Grace and Marissa both nodded, and asked how they could help.
Dana, Eddie, Grace, Marissa, and Karen were all finishing up their food and hanging out when Dana's phone began to buzz. "Hello?" Dana excused herself and walked inside the house and away from the group of others.
"So," Katie's voice sang through the phone, "I think you should walk out front." Dana could feel Katie's grin through the phone. Dana followed Katie's instructions and walked towards the front yard. "How about that date?" Katie was leaning on Dana's car door. Dana and Katie hung up, and Dana walked down to meet her.
"I would love to." Dana smiled, reaching for Katie's hand. "But I can't."
Katie's smile disappeared, and she pulled her hand out of Dana's grasp slowly. "Why not?"
"Follow me." Dana grabbed Katie's hand again and dragged her through the house and to the backyard. Dana released Katie and rejoined the group. Katie looked directly at Grace and slowly made her way to the patio table where the others were sitting. Dana pulled a chair over for Katie to sit right between Eddie and her. Katie avoided Grace and wasn't any less awkward with Marissa. She sat silently and pulled out her phone under the table.
Dana felt her phone vibrate and she pulled it out to see a message from Katie: Maybe we should wait for that date. Before she could type fast enough, Dana's phone buzzed again. Grace and Marissa just make me think of Jesse.
Dana stood up once again. "Sorry, but I just remembered I have to go...reorganize my pants... Yeah..."
Dana was halfway to the door when Katie perked up, "If you guys don't mind, I'm actually going to head back home. I suddenly don't feel so great." Katie rushed inside, hoping she could catch Dana. "Dana, I'm sorry it's just-"
"I don't get it," Dana cut her off with a sigh. "What do we have to do with Jesse?"
"Maybe I'm just rushing into things." Katie blurted out. She stared at the ground. Dana stayed silent, and Katie slowly looked up at her. "I want to be with you, I do. Trust me, it took me long enough to gain the courage to tell you so I'm not just going to bail. But I did just break up with Jesse a week ago. And I'm not ready for any of this. Seeing Grace and Marissa sitting there, all I could think about was what they would say if they found out. What would they tell people? Then I began to think about my mom and what she would do and I-"
"Okay," Dana placed her hands on Katie's arms and looked deep into her eyes in order to calm her down. "I can wait." The two of them stood in silence for a brief moment before Dana spoke up again. "I should probably go back out there." Dana released Katie from her grasp and turned to leave, but Katie's hand grabbed a hold of Dana's.
"I'm sorry," she muttered. Dana nodded with a tiny smile and left the room, nearly running into Eddie as she went back outside.
"Oh good you haven't left," Eddie ran up to Katie who was already halfway through the door. He gently pulled Katie back inside and shut the door, then stood in front of it to block Katie in. He noticed tears welling in Katie's eyes and felt his body slouch downward. "Katie, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," she forced a smile. "Don't worry about it."
"Usually, I wouldn't," Eddie admitted. "But when it concerns Dana, I like to be in the know." He smiled a small smile at her. "So what's going on between you two?"
"Currently? Nothing." Katie answered him honestly. "We're postponing things. It wasn't her, Eddie." Katie confessed. "I told her that I needed time before we could start things."
"And she said?"
"She can wait."
"Damn." Eddie ruffled his short dark hair, and then crossed his arms over his chest with a puzzled look on his face. "She must really like you." Katie gave Eddie a look that told him she didn't understand. "How do I put this?" Eddie searched for the right words. "Do you know Dana's favorite quote?" Katie shook her head no. "'Be here now.' That's her favorite quote."
"I still don't get what you're saying."
"Katie, Dana isn't the I-can-wait-type. She's more like the be-with-me-now-or-I-have-a-right-to-move-on-type. Dana spent most of her life looking towards the future and always making others happy, but plans never worked out and people always left. Recently, Dana realized that she doesn't have to live that way and became the 'be here now' person we all know and love. She doesn't take anyone's shit and she knows that she deserves to be happy."
"Eddie, I-"
"Look Katie, I don't mean this to sound like a threat or warning or whatever but," Eddie looked back towards the kitchen as he heard the others making their way inside, and then looked back at Katie, "Dana's the greatest person I've ever met in my life. I love her more than anything in the world, and I know her. I know her better than she knows herself sometimes. And the way she's been with you? From day one? I can tell that she sees something in you. That she wants to be with you. Any other girl in the world she wouldn't even bother wasting time on."
Katie studied Eddie's face. "Eddie, what are you trying to say? That I need to either give up or give in?"
"I'm trying to say that that's my best friend in the other room," Eddie and Katie both looked into the kitchen where Dana was laughing with Marissa and Grace. Eddie looked back at Katie, "And I'm asking you not to break her heart."
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