I had promised Asa to keep the gaming PC, but that in itself proved to be a challenge for the exact same reasons why my computer going missing was a problem: I didn't have any explanation for it.

Eventually I settled on keeping the carton box with the computer safely tucked away in my closet. And for good measure I completely ductaped it shut. I knew Mom would be curious enough to open the box if it was just sitting there, but she wasn't going to remove layers and layers of tape.

There were questions, but I was a master in making quick getaways in the morning and rushing to school before anyone was up. I could only hope my parents would eventually forget about the mysterious taped shut package in my closet.

I knew for a fact Asa hadn't forgotten about it yet.

Asa had made it to our lunch before me and much to my surprise, he was actually sitting huddled together with Landon, Randall, and Camilla, actually talking with them. Or rather, whispering since they immediately shut up the moment they spotted me.

I shot Asa a questioning look but he only shrugged, not giving any information away. I knew he must've said something about the PC however, because Landon was much less subtle than Asa was.

"Hey, Gabe," Landon greeted me first.

"Hi?" I replied, watching him twist and wiggle in his seat impatiently.

He usually did when he was trying to keep quiet. It never lasted long. Even shorter than my principles lasted when it came to Asa.

"Gabe," Landon said, eyes skirting to Asa before landing on me again. "Camilla, Randall and I are going to try the new multiplayer campaign mode of Double Singularity tonight. We were wondering if you wanted to join... maybe?"

I raised a brow. Granted, this was incredibly subtle for Landon's doing but still way too obvious.

"No, thanks. I think I'm going to skip."

"Oh, okay, too bad then," Landon casually said.

I darted a glance at all the people at the table, grateful they dropped the topic.

But it was too easy and I should have known I wouldn't get away that easily.

Asa was waiting for me in the bicycle shed after school. I found him literally sitting on the baggage holder of my bike. Coming to a halt a couple of feet away, I side-eyed him.

"Is this an ambush?"

"Yes," Asa replied dryly, hopping to his feet. "I want to show you something before you go home."

I sighed as he took out his phone. "Asa.. If it's about whatever was going on at the lunch table--"

"No it's not." Asa paused. "Okay, it is. But just look at this. Please."

Asa offered me his phone. I stared at it, hesitating before finally taking the device from his outstretched hand.

I looked at the screen. Tentatively at first, until I started reading the words displayed. My eyes shot over lines and lines of people commenting online that they were sad I was gone. I even recognised some of the usernames. Chip, Marius, and even Paradox from the tournament at Brown's. The latter was especially mad at the reporters who put that camera in my face and his comment had by far the most likes.

Asa cleared his throat. "What I'm saying is... Why are you letting negative people decide things for you?"

I kept my gaze trained on Asa's phone screen, afraid I'd have tears welling up yet again if I looked up.

"And I'm not just talking about Rolf and his friends," Asa continued. "I also mean my aunt and uncle. Your friends. Your parents. Even me. Don't let anyone stop you from doing what you love."

After a quick eye-rub, I trusted myself enough to look at Asa and keep it dry.

§He was looking at me, too. His gaze was warm, kind.

"Do you... do you have some time right now?" I asked.

Asa nodded. "Yeah."

He didn't say a word as we walked up to my room and I unwrapped the box from my closet with much more trouble than I'd had packing it.

He was just there, sitting next to me and letting me set up the computer on my own, at my own pace.

Only when I clicked to open my gaming account, my private one, Asa moved. He reached for my free hand, squeezing it under the table. Just like I'd held and squeezed his hand when he talked about his past.

"It's alright," I muttered under my breath, though, I wasn't quite sure how I felt. My chest was hollow, yet my stomach fluttered.

Rather than opening any games, I first procrastinated by opening my message box. Scrolling through the list, I only expected to find ads and sale notifications. That's when I spotted a username in the list: 'Samsational00.' They'd sent me a message with the subject: 'you're not alone.'

My eyes automatically darted to Asa. He raised his shoulders.

"Your call," he said.

I took a deep breath. Curiosity won over anxiousness and I clicked. Samsational00's message was long. My heart skipped a beat when I saw how it filled up the entire screen. For a moment the thought that this could be an angry anti-gay rant flashed through my mind, but that thought quickly vanished as I read.

Hey Gabriel!

You don't know me, and I don't really know you, but I've been one of your biggest fans ever since you started streaming. I'm sorry for contacting you in your personal account, but I just had to.

I saw what happened at the Double Singularity tournament, and I just wanted to reach out to you to let you know you're not alone. I haven't ever told anyone before, but I'm gay too, and I know how hard it can be to come out, even more so when you're forced out like that.

It's a shame you deleted your professional account, since there will always be people like me, that are still your fan, and would still love to see you move past what happened and continue your awesome work. We can all have an off-day, but please don't let that get to you.

I'll be waiting to see you return, and until then, just know that I—and probably tons of others—are still your fan.

Kind regards,

Sam

Sam's message left me confused. Confused, but also very flattered.

"How did he even find me here?" I wondered out loud.

"Your real name is out there, Gabe," Asa replied. "And you put the state and town where you live in your profile. With some determination I suppose you can be found."

Since I didn't necessarily wanted to be found, I quickly adjusted my profile to no longer show my name or town, hoping Sam had kept his mouth shut.

Knowing full well it was a risk to confirm my identity on here, I sent Sam a short thank you note. One line looked pathetically short compared to the essay he'd sent me, but I didn't have more to add.

I was just thankful. In the year I'd been streaming I never expected to have a real impact on anyone. Sure, I put entertainment out there and maybe I had taught people some new tricks. But it seemed my public, involuntary coming out had also had other effects.

Not all of them negative.

"But I get your point now," I told Asa. "Okay. There are people who still like me."

"There are many," Asa confirmed. And right at that moment, Landon jumped online.

Asa's fingers curled around my hand, and he lead it up to rest on my keyboard with a gentle smile. "And since you're here anyway. Why not try one level of that new campaign mode?"

There was a shiny new button in Double Singularity for the new campaign. My eyes were drawn to it as if it was hypnotising me. I wanted to.

"Maybe just one level," I gave in.

Landon, for once, didn't make a big deal out of me coming online and joining his, Randall and Camilla's game. I suspected Asa had something to do with it.

One level turned into two levels. Two into three. And three into playing for hours with only one quick dinner break. Asa stayed by my side all the while, watching me play and occasionally stealing a kiss. Every time I asked him if he wasn't bored, he simply said no.

He didn't leave my house my mom finally came up the stairs around midnight to gently ask us to wrap things up. She'd left us alone for far longer than she usually would have on a school night.

Mom didn't seem disappointed or mad I was playing games again. And she and Dad had wanted to help me in school with Rolf, but I'd had said no.

Asa's words came to mind again. I had been saying no to people who wished me well, and listened to negativity.

Why did I do that? Why would I do that any longer?

I told Landon and the others I was going to bed. There was still light coming from the living room downstairs, indicating my parents were up.

Before descending the stairs to finally talk to them, I took a few deep breaths. Asking for help was, perhaps, even harder than giving Rolf my gaming PC.