The world around Ari seemed muted as he walked through the encampment. There was no color either. Everything was drowned in a sea of grays and whites with some black blended into the mix. Sanclii passed before him, all blurry faces with mouths moving, but Ari did not hear them. Well, rather, he did not want to hear them. There was growing disgust and resentment festering deep inside himself. He hated the feeling. The Khaeo once meant something as a home for him and now morbid thoughts of how many of them within a small amount of time could he kill.

As it rained, Ari kept his head lowered and continued on toward the temple. He hated how his clothes would stick to his skin and his hair would sop onto his neck. It felt to him like small bugs tracing down his skin. The hair on his neck made his skin itch. Although he had all those reasons for disliking the rain, Ari knew it was not the true reason why he hated it.

Sanclii were looming around the decrepit temple that had fallen into ruin since long ago. He had not been here since he was a boy, but he still remembered each engraving on the sides. The words of the gods, Nolan would say to him. He said the gods had spoken to him on the day Nolan had found him. That they said, he was to be brought up and raised by him. Ari threw away a smile threatening to appear on his face. It was mocking one; a saddened one.

Ari looked at the moss growing in between the cracks, crevices, and all along of what remained of the building, taking him away from those senseless memories. There were char and soot burned onto its walls. It did not take much to know it had seen war in its prime. He walked inside and noticed how bits of light made it through the stained glass, showing him the colors of a sunset. It had been his most favorite parts of the temples. Statues with missing limbs and faces, even heads was littered around the ground. Ari walked deeper inside and went down the steps into the altar room. It was where Nolan would be waiting, he was sure of it.

Instead of light from the outside, there were many candles lit among the large, empty room save for one person. As Ari walked closer to the man on his knees, Ari came to realize it was Einar. His head rose and gave Ari a small smile through glassy eyes. Had he been crying? Ari did not take him a devoted believer in the faith.

"Are you here for prayer or repentance?"

"I do not believe in such gods," Ari stated matter-of-factly, "because they are not my gods. They are yours."

Ari could not withhold the bitterness from his tongue even if it was for someone who was undeserving of it. Not all of them were bad, he would say to himself, but he could hardly come to accept that, these days.

"So it is for repentance?" Einar laughed and brought Ari down on his knees along with him.

Einar handed Ari a small blade near the foot of the god, Oliya, but Ari threw it onto the ground.

"A blood penance is needed, Ari."

Einar grabbed his left hand and sliced through the flesh of it which made Ari balled it into a fist. He let the blood drip into a golden chalice laid to each side of the altar. By the sound of his blood dripping into the cup, it was nearly full.

Ari snatched his hand back from Einar and kept it near his stomach.

"Is this not a priest's role?" Ari said.

"Priest Reynold is nowhere to be found, so we go through the rituals ourselves until another priest can make it here."

No matter how Ari looked at him, there was something sad about him that he had not noticed before. Had he lost something so precious? Ari knew he was not a new recruit. Usually, they had lost their families due to some acts of war or tyranny of a king. He wore the same expression as them. The hurt of it must not have left him yet.

Einar wiped at his eyes before he pushed back the brown strands of his hair from out of his face.

"Love is what is keeping you here, is it not?" Ari closed his eyes. "Love is also what should make you leave."

"What?"

"You are afraid of the world, and I understand why. It can be an unkind, cruel place. With Freir, you have that comfort and familiarity around you. You have his warmth and his love."

"They will kill him if I leave."

Einar looked at him with tired brown eyes and nodded.

"Do you truly believe that or would you like to believe that?"

Ari swallowed.

"Stop using Freir as a crutch to tether yourself here."

"I do want to leave," Ari barked.

"You want to leave, but you are afraid to. Is that not right? And who can say they would not be afraid of uncertainty?"

"... What must I do then?"

"Stop loving him and then you can leave."

Ari's eyes widened.

"Do not choose him over what may be something life-changing for you."

"He would do it for me. He has done it for me. Time and time again--" Ari's eyes blurred. "--He has loved and cared for me much more than himself."

Einar smiled and took a large hand through his hair.

"That is what a father is supposed to do. To sacrifice for their own, but he wants you to be happy. Find a life outside of this one."

"I do not want to be away from him."

"And so the truth comes out... "

"He had tried so hard to keep you close and near to him. If he were to have it, he would want you to stay. And for the longest time, that was what he had been doing. He had come to realize, he had been wrong in that."

"You had spoken with him?"

Einar nodded.

"There comes a time when every father and mother must let go, and the time has come."

Ari looked at his bleeding hand.

"Will I ever be able to see him again?"

"If the gods will have it."

Einar rose and started up the stairs, leaving Ari there by himself.

Ari's heart was pounding through his chest at the thought of going to places untouched by war or demons. He mind filled with excitement at the very thought, but, at the same time, he was wary and cautious. When and if he left, he thought to go neither with Auovin or the Khaeo. Somewhere in between them, he would find what it was he was looking for. Any answers given to him by either of them was bound to biased and he could not find the truth through them.

It was not long before, Ari heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He did not have to look up to know it was Nolan. Unlike demons, Ari could not tell by smell. Humans had none that he knew of. They just smelled like another part of nature, it seemed. As Nolan came closer, Ari scooted over so they would not be touching.

"Ari."

"Father Nolan," Ari replied curtly, ridding the air of familiarity. Nolan meant nothing to him from that moment onward. He thought to use him and it took all of his will not to grab the dagger laying on the ground and stab him through the throat. It was easy enough with Priest Reynold. Ari could hardly think it would be any harder with him.

"Be like this. Be this way, Ari. I do not care. Whether you believe me or not, I am doing this for you." Nolan sat down by him and looked him in the eyes. "The world is a cruel place and the demon world is hardly any kinder."

"What is it that you need me for? Why had you raised me, if you did not even grow to love me?"

Nolan frowned.

"It is not as if I had not loved you. I could not be blinded by love was all. You are a demon, after all, and, in the beginning, I had orders... "

"What do you need me for?" Ari asked again, ignoring what he had said. Nolan had hurt his heart to the point of disrepair.

"That is not for you to know."

Ari scoffed and then nodded, resolute in his decision to leave than ever before.

"Stay and maybe, with time, I will tell you all it is you would like to know."

"How is Freir?"

"He is well."

Ari tried to rise, but Nolan pulled him back down.

"I know you will never forgive me for this... I cursed the day you would find out, but, Ari, I have always cared for you even at the arm distance I put you at."

"I do not believe you. If you cared, you would not have lied. You would not have been so cruel as to use Freir against me. You would not have taken advantage of all the trust and loyalty I had in you." Ari calmed himself before more words could spill from his lips.

Ari needed to be repentant. He needed to lower himself, more for show than anything else and he needed to show Nolan that he cared more about his freedom than Freir as Einar had instructed. It was the only way he could ensure both Freir's life and his freedom. The cost would be steep and detrimental, but it was a price he was willing to pay. Freir would, somehow, find it in his heart to forgive him.

"But I... understand... You had your reasons."

Nolan looked at him with wide eyes.

"I may be in charge of this section, but I am not the one who holds all the power in this organization. Ari, there is much you do not know. That I wish for you not to ever know. But it is a little too late for such wishful thoughts, is it not?" Nolan laughed. It was gruff and raw, but it was one Ari was very familiar with. It sent an ache through his heart that he could not quite explain why.

Ari rose and, this time, Nolan did not bother to stop him. He walked up the stairs and out of the ruined temple completely. Sanclii were still loitering around, all of them giving him looks before speaking in hushed voices. Ari ignored them all and continued passed them. In due time, he would leave. It did not matter where. All that mattered to him was that he was leaving.

However, like the time before, Ari wanted to see Freir. Nolan would not let him see him. Ari was sure of it. It was better this way. He had to distance himself as far away from Freir as possible. They could both live that way. Ari kept telling himself this, hoping to make what he had to do less of a burden weighing in on his conscious but it was eating away at him.

Rain wet his hair again causing his hair and clothes to become drenched in minutes. He could hardly see in front him with his bangs covering his eyes. As soon as he moved them away, Leif stood in front of him with an arm on his hips. Ari thought to say something but decided against it. He did not care to speak to people his age. It never ended well.

"Is it true?" Leif said to Ari.

Ari turned his head in his direction and looked at him with an apathetic expression lingering on his face.

"Is it true what you are? A demon?"

"So what if it is?"

"Then is it true about what they say of their sense of smell and their bite?"

Ari's brows furrowed. He did not know much about himself, but he knew even less about his own kind. It was something that had been bugging him for a while now. He could not answer Leif's question even if he wanted to.

"If they taste your blood once, they will know where to find you. If they bite you, they will... turn you."

"Demons are born, not created as you know this. Many of... us... do not like human blood anyway. If you bit me, do you think it would turn me human?"

Leif's face flushed.

"Do not condescend me—"

"It is a stupid fear to have," Ari said, cutting him off. "It is I who should fear you and your kind, is that not right?" Ari stared at him waiting for his answer but one never came. "I came to realize recently... there is monsters and evil everywhere in this world, but here, in this place, you are the truer ones."

"Are you saying the Khaeo is evil and unjust? Without us, there would be no protection from the demons. The kingdoms do not care since they are well away from the borders. We are the only ones set between them!"

Ari walked away, paying him no mind. Who was right and who was wrong? The price for that knowledge was something he was willing to pay no matter what it was.

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