"Mads, you heard the doctor. If you carry this baby to term you will not make it." Benedict narrowed his eyebrows, standing up with her.

"Might not make it. There is still a chance and as long as there is a chance, I am not going to kill this baby!" She declared, shaking her head vehemently.

"Madeleine, for your safety we must abort the baby. If you go through with this pregnancy you could die." Benedict started to raise his voice, getting frustrated with her refusal to realize this. She shook her head again, tears welling in her eyes.

"No! I do not care whether or not I make it, Benedict, I will not have an abortion!" She yelled, tears stream down her cheeks.

"I care, Madeleine! I care! I AM NOT LOSING YOU!" Benedict shouted, his heart pounding in fear. "We can always have another child but I refuse to sacrifice your life in order to do so! We must go to Wales immediately!" Tears streamed down his cheeks as he vocalized the gravity of the situation.

"NO!! I AM NOT GOING TO KILL THIS BABY!" Madeleine shouted, sobbing as she clutched her stomach. "I already killed one.." She whispered, crying so hard she thought she might throw up.

Benedict's lips parted and his face softened. His heart felt absolutely shattered at the weight of her grief. He was quick to move toward her, wrapping his arms around her.

"Oh my love, you did not kill our baby." He whispered against her hair, soothingly rocking her back and forth.

"I did. My body did." Madeleine wailed weakly, sobbing into his chest. "I-I could not keep it alive."

"That was not your fault, I promise it was not. I can not lose you Madeleine, I will not let that happen." He sighed, looking down at her. She shook her head, tears still falling freely.

"I will not abort this baby." She whispered, pulling away from him and leaving the room. Benedict sighed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He could not believe she was willing to sacrifice her life for their baby. His stomach churned as he thought of the possibility of losing the one he loved most. Tears fell down his cheeks as he shook his head, leaving the room and walking out to the garden.

He was surprised to see Eloise already sitting on the swings, a lit cigarette in her hand. She frantically waved at the smoke in attempt to hide it once she heard someone coming. He simply plopped down on the other swing and held his hand out for the cigarette. She chuckled softly and handed it to him.

"No lecture or reprimanding at all.. What's got you so down?" She quirked an eyebrow, leaning her head against the swing's ropes and watching him.

"Madeleine is pregnant." He exhaled, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "She is pregnant and the baby is going to kill her, and she wants to let it." Eloise sat up straight and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, urging him to explain.

"We did not tell anybody of the pregnancy because of what happened last time, but the doctor came by today. He told us that if Madeleine carries the baby to term, she will most likely die before she can even give birth." Eloise gasped softly at this, frowning as she listened.

"And she will not terminate the pregnancy?"

Benedict shook his head in response, flicking the ashes of the cigarette before taking another drag.

"I can not lose her, El." His voice was a broken whisper and Eloise's heart twinged in pain for her brother and her friend.

"You must convince her, Ben. She is emotional right now, I am sure. She will see things more clearly tomorrow and you can talk to her again, convince her to terminate the pregnancy. You two can always have another child." Benedict shook his head again, looking down at the ground.

"This is the second time we have tried and both have gone terribly wrong. I do not know, maybe.. Maybe this is the universe's way of telling me that I am not meant to be a father." He admitted, tears pricking at his eyes. Eloise's lips parted and she shook her head, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Benedict, I am sorry but that is complete and utter bullshit." He glanced up at her in surprise and she sighed, looking in his eyes.

"I may not remember much about Father's death, but what I do remember is you being there. Anthony was not there, Mother was not there, maybe they were physically but emotionally, they were absent. You were there. You were the one tucking us in each night, playing with us during the day, doing everything a father does. Believe me, you are meant to be a father. A wonderful one at that." She smiled warmly at him and he chuckled softly in surprise at her sudden kindness.

"If you ever tell anybody I was this kind to you, I will hurt you." She quickly added, playfully shoving his shoulder. He let out a breathy laugh as he nodded, wiping his tears.

"Thank you, El. Truly." He took another drag before standing, ruffling up her hair and walking away. She laughed softly and nodded, looking out at the yard as she swung slowly.

He looked around the house for Madeleine, finally finding her in the nursery. She held a little stuffed bear in her arms as she sat in the rocking chair, tears falling down her cheeks. Benedict sighed softly and kneeled by the chair, looking at her.

"Let's at least go to Wales to get a second opinion." He started, and she parted her lips to speak before he continued.

"We do not need to terminate the pregnancy right now, but it could not hurt to hear what this expert has to say." His voice was a soft plea and he gently wiped her tears. She sniffled and nodded, clutching the bear.

"O-Okay, we will go to Wales." She whispered, taking his hand in hers.

He gave her the smallest of smiles, squeezing her hand and kissing it. The two sat together in the nursery for god knows how long, surrounded by a future that might no longer exist.

Neither one spoke, they both simply sat, being there with another and for one another in their shared grief.

****

A/N: So, this story is soon coming to an end. I have been writing for almost eight years now and this may be one of my favorite works 🥲 I am rather sad to see it go but I just wanted to thank you all again for your support and comments! I absolutely love hearing your thoughts so please feel free to leave more!

P.S. Lover by Taylor Swift is Madeleine and Benedict's song and nobody can convince me otherwise. Specifically the version with Shawn Mendes 😉