《innuendo || benedict bridgerton》Chapter Nineteen
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Benedict and Madeleine sat on the edge of the bed, his arm around her shoulders as she leaned into his chest, crying softly. He felt utterly helpless, knowing that neither them nor Anthony could go against the Queen's orders.
He had a growing feeling in his gut, fear that Lord Alaister would do everything in his power to keep him from marrying the girl that he loved. It was something greater than fear, though, it was more akin to terror. He knew this was the most likely situation given how he had threatened the man that morning and given the way they had stared at each other with such fury and hatred. He knew that their downfall was more likely than not and that terrified him.
He frowned and pulled Madeleine closer to him and kissed her forehead, resting his head on hers.
He could not imagine his future without her. One year ago, if somebody had asked him about marriage, he would've dismissed them with a wave of his hand. He did not like to think about that, to think about a life of restriction in which he could no longer practice art or do the things he loved. He knew the love match his mother and father had was rare, and at the very least, he was bound to end up with somebody he could simply tolerate rather than love.
When he realized his feelings for Madeleine, however, his entire perspective changed. He could see the two of them in their own house far away from here, an art studio for him and a library for her. They would spend their days laughing and teasing each other. They would have a garden in the back where they could grow their own vegetables and they could cook the dinners themselves, her inevitably getting angry with him for messing up the recipe. They would travel the world together, seeing everything there is to see. They would have children and they would spend time playing with them and teaching them to do what they love to do and not what society tells them to do.
Benedict's heart ached for that life, for that future. He wanted nothing more than that. And now, it seemed as though it might not be possible, and that thought terrified him to his core. A single tear rolled down his cheek and he held the girl tighter, never wanting to let her out of his sight.
Madeleine sniffled softly as she felt the drop of water hit her head and she lifted her head, looking up at him. Their eyes met, both darkened with gut-wrenching sorrow. She raised her hand to his face, gently wiping his cheek with her thumb, and he leaned into her touch. Her voice was shaky when she spoke.
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"Maybe.. maybe it will all be okay, right? There is a chance that he will allow us to marry and we will live happily together. He is only a man, after all, there must be some kindness deep down in his heart, right?" Her voice was somehow hopeful and scared at the same time, and she herself did not even believe what she was saying. Still, he gave her a sad smile and nodded softly, gently brushing her hair back with his hand.
"Yes, my darling. Maybe it will be okay." He pressed his lips to her forehead and closed his eyes as he lingered there before pulling away and wiping her cheeks with gentle hands. She sighed defeatedly and stood, smoothing out her dress.
"I guess I should pack." Her voice was a dejected whisper and Benedict's heart ached as she began to walk around the room, gathering her belongings. His lips parted to speak but he closed them again, unsure of what he could even say to make this better. Unbeknownst to him, her actions mirrored his, her back to him as she took clothes out of the dresser.
Both wished desperately to remedy this, to say something, anything, to make the other feel better, and to make themselves feel better. But both were silenced by their own awareness of the direness of the situation. A knock came at the door and Benedict called out that it was open. Anthony entered and sighed softly, taking in the teary eyes and saddened faces of the two.
He hated to see them with the same scared and miserable expression. Benedict had spent his whole life trying to make everybody around him smile, and Madeleine had the kindest heart of any person he had ever met. They did not deserve this. He bit his lip and closed the door, leaning against it.
"Lord Alaister is here to bring you home." He grimaced slightly at the word 'home', all three of them knowing that the Bridgerton House was more of a home to her now than that house would ever be.
Madeleine nodded softly and turned around again to continue packing, biting her lip hard to keep more tears from falling. She heard Anthony say something lowly to Benedict that she could not make out, but she remained with her back to them, not wanting the eldest Bridgerton to see her in this vulnerable state. She heard movement as somebody left the room, closing the door behind them.
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"Madeleine, please look at me." Anthony's voice was gentle, she had not heard him speak in such a soft tone in many years. Her lip quivered as she tried to keep from crying and she slowly turned around to face him. He sat on the edge of the bed and gestured for her to sit with him, which she did.
"It is clear to me that you and Benedict are no longer mere friends, and I am sorry that this is what it has come to." He spoke softly, not taking his eyes off of her.
"I assure you that I will continue to do everything in my power to reverse what has happened. You have always been a part of our family, more so now than ever. We do not give up on family, do you understand me?" He took her hand, squeezing it lightly. She sniffled and nodded, mustering up a sad smile.
"Thank you, Anthony. That truly means a lot to me. I must be honest though, I do not know that there is anything you can do to fix this." She looked up at him, fear clear in her eyes.
"Do not worry about that, I will figure something out. We are Bridgertons after all, and Bridgertons never give up. Soon enough you will be back here and we will be planning for the wedding, all right?"
She smiled softly at this and nodded, moving to hug him. He tensed for a moment before returning the hug, running his hand up and down her back soothingly. She whispered another thank you and he smiled kindly as he stood.
"Come downstairs when you are ready." He opened the door and Benedict looked up from where he was waiting in the hall. Anthony gave his younger brother a reassuring nod before he left, and Benedict came back in. Madeleine closed her bag and he grabbed it for her, leaning in to kiss her softly. They pulled away and he rested his forehead against hers, looking in her eyes.
"It will all be okay, we are going to find a way to be together, no matter what." He whispered, his tone serious.
She smiled softly and nodded, kissing his cheek. He stroked her cheek and smiled back and they headed downstairs. Violet and Anthony were standing in the foyer with her great uncle and he looked up as they came down.
"Ah, wonderful you have decided to join us." He smiled at her but she saw right through it and did not acknowledge him. This angered Lord Alaister deeply, a woman was always supposed to show respect and submission to a man, but he did not show his annoyance. He took her bag from Benedict, not looking at the boy, and told her he would be outside before nodding at the Viscount and leaving.
Violet moved to embrace the girl, squeezing her tightly before pulling away. She smiled at her with a warm and caring smile, the kind that made Madeleine feel safe. She did not say anything and Madeleine was grateful, she did not know how many more times she could hear someone tell her it would all be all right when they did not know that it was true. She hugged Anthony and thanked him for trying to help and then moved to Benedict, sighing softly.
He reached up and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear, staring at her with love in his eyes. His mother did not know about the two of them yet but quite frankly, he could not care less. He held Madeleine's face and leaned in to kiss her. It was a soft and gentle kiss, but it was laced with desperation, neither of them knowing the next time it would happen again.
Violet's eyes widened slightly and she glanced to Anthony, who did not seem at all surprised by this. She almost chuckled to herself, she should've known.
Madeleine gave them all a small wave as she left, meeting her uncle to walk back to their house.
"Finally ready?"
She did not respond to him and instead, started walking without him toward the house. She did not understand why he had to come over to get her, as their house was a mere thirty feet away. She did not say anything about it though, insistent on not speaking to the man unless she absolutely had to.
She glanced at the Bridgerton House once more, Benedict's figure standing in the window watching her go.
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