《Satan's Vessel》1.
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With a wince, Kaitlyn shifted in her seat. They'd been driving for hours, only stopping once so the angels could buy some food for her. It was incredibly boring and yet incredibly tense.
It was hard to forget what Zeke had told her: Once you step outside, our enemies' heads will turn and the darkness will irrevocably creep towards us
Kaitlyn chewed on her lip, suddenly wishing that Jacob was close, though she didn't know how he would have fit into the pickup alongside the rest of them.
As it was, it was uncomfortable enough with the five of them. Zeke and David were big men. Sitting on either side of her, they took up most of the back seat. She envied Samuel and Catherine sitting in the front. She envied the fact that they could all see. The blindfold was starting to get a little suffocating and it was making her eyes itch. When she had agreed to wear it, she'd thought it be an easy thing to deal with, but it was really hard not knowing what was going on. It was making her more and more anxious that she couldn't see the world around her, even if that world was only the inside of a car.
'Could I have some water?' she asked.
Zeke pushed the bottle into her hands. Kaitlyn unscrewed the lid. She tried to be careful as she drank but the pickup felt every bump and dip, making her choke and spill water down her front.
She screwed the lid back on and handed the bottle back. 'Thank you.'
She rested back into her seat as she shook out her wet shirt. The seatbelt kept cutting into her throat and the cushion of the seat was so old she could feel the springs beneath, but she could deal with all that. It was the boredom that was the worst. They couldn't even have the radio on. Not after last time.
'How much longer, do you think?' she asked.
'Sorry, Kaitlyn, you know we can't tell you that,' Samuel answered.
'Right,' Kaitlyn mumbled.
They'd already been driving for so long she couldn't be sure whether it was daytime or not. She couldn't be annoyed at them. It was her own fault that she was forced into this situation. If the angels were smart, they'd throw a sack over her head and knock her out with some sedatives.
If they were smarter still, they would just kill her. She thought about the pack of razors in the back tucked away somewhere amid the rest of their supplies. It made her remember the razor in her pocket.
The thought that she'd almost revealed their location to Satan himself still made her break out into goose bumps. The shame of it sat like a ball of lead in her guts. She touched her pocket.
Tell me where you are, Kaitlyn.
Kaitlyn shifted in her seat again but this time it wasn't out of pain. She squeezed her knees together as she began to heat up. Her hands were starting to sweat. She wiped them down her pants.
'Are you all right, Kaitlyn? Did you need to stop?' It was Samuel. He must have been watching her through the rearview mirror.
'Yes. I'm all right. I'm just ... tired.'
'You can lie down,' Zeke told her. 'Here.' He undid her seatbelt with a click. Gently taking her shoulders, he eased her head down into his lap. David picked up her legs and laid them across him. Kaitlyn didn't know if it was such a good idea. It was making her palms sweat more. The two angels felt so warm, and she was much too close to Zeke ... in that way. It lit a fire inside her. Such shameful thoughts rose up in her mind that she almost sat up again. But then Zeke started brushing his fingers through her hair, gentle strokes that reminded her so much of her mother, and she started to relax.
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Her eyelids grew heavy.
On and off, she dozed. Every time sleep tried to claim her, she'd jerk awake, unwilling to dream. He was waiting for her there. She knew it. She could almost feel his eagerness.
His anticipation.
Hours passed. She would sit up. She would lie down. Samuel would stop the car so she could relieve herself and they could get her something to eat and drink, always stopping far away from anywhere there might be people, wherein she might hear something unique about her surroundings.
They were careful.
She couldn't know how long they drove for. All she knew was that they had to stop again for petrol and her lower back was aching so much her blindfold was becoming damp from her tears. Her legs were stiff.
Sometimes, she would try and draw the angels into conversation, if only to dull the pain in her back and pass the time, but they seemed to know little of the lives of humans and their interests, and so their conversations fell dead.
She should probably talk with them about this "Reckoning". She should probably learn all she could about Satan and his dark angels. But she just couldn't. Not right now. She couldn't deal with it. The very thought made her feel sick. Perhaps when she felt more safe. Perhaps when she had the ability to leave and get some privacy when the conversation got too personal.
And it was so very personal.
Crossing her legs, Kaitlyn laid her hand upon her pelvis. He wanted her womb, he wanted to impregnate her, so that he could walk the Earth in human form. Such a classic Catholic legend—come to life. What exactly did it mean, though? That he would become her son? She twisted her mouth in disgust.
The thought made her sick just as much as it made her ache in her hips. It felt like she hadn't seen him for days. She touched her lips as she recalled how he'd kissed her. It had been so soft.
When he had his human body, would he grow as a child or immediately transform into a man? Was she expected to care for him? Or would he just kill her the moment she'd given birth? The thought was like a stab in her chest. She hadn't thought about that. And it reminded her that he didn't really want her. He didn't love her. She was just a piece of meat to him. A womb with a body attached.
What were his plans?
She gasped when the truck's left side suddenly dipped dramatically, throwing her against Zeke.
Zeke gripped her arm to steady her.
'Sorry,' Samuel grunted. 'The road's not the best.'
They ran over a bump that almost sent Kaitlyn's head into the ceiling. She quickly felt around for her seatbelt but couldn't find it. Zeke helped buckle her in.
Another bump. Another lurch. This time to the right, which made her and David knock heads. Then they found a more stable surface and Kaitlyn could relax.
Soon, they stopped.
All four doors opened.
'Is this it? Are we done?' She hoped. She prayed.
'This is it,' Samuel said.
Kaitlyn unbuckled herself and slid across the seat. Two of them helped her out. Someone took her hand, grabbing onto her arm as she staggered. Her right leg was numb and her knees were so stiff that it hurt to straighten them.
It was definitely night. She could hear crickets and she felt the cold, even through her sweater. Despite the lurching road they'd driven down, it didn't feel like they were in the middle of nowhere. Not like the abandoned church they'd taken refuge in the last time. Cars roared passed. Dogs were barking. Dry grass crunched beneath their footsteps.
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'Steps ahead,' Zeke advised her, gently squeezing her arm as he helped guide her up them.
'I can't wait to get this blindfold off. Is there a working bathroom here?' Kaitlyn asked hopefully.
'Apparently, there is. Jacob struck it lucky.'
'Is he here?' She instinctively turned her head, as though she could see him through her blindfold.
'No. He had a task to attend to.'
Kaitlyn frowned. Stepping onto a timber porch, she kept walking. A door shut behind her.
'You can take your blindfold off now,' Zeke said, releasing her arm.
'Thank God.' She whipped it off.
It was dark, except for the beaming flashlight David was holding. From what she could see, it seemed like any other church, though much smaller and nowhere near as awesome as Father Alex's church. This one was much more ill-kept. She smelled old wood. Her footsteps thudded a little too loudly against the dusty timber floorboards. They liked to creak too. She remembered the steps she'd climbed. Perhaps it was a demountable?
'Can't we get some more light?' Kaitlyn asked.
'No. We might be seen. We're not supposed to be here,' Zeke said quietly.
'And we'll have to leave by Sunday when it opens for mass,' David said.
Kaitlyn heard the heavy crunch of tyres, she saw the flash of headlights, as Samuel parked the car around the back. She continued to look around. The windows were shuttered with old sashes. It was so quiet. It made Kaitlyn realise how hard it was going to be to find churches like this, both safe and isolated and relatively unused, with either a trustworthy custodian or no custodian at all. She thought of Father Alex. How were they going to find priests like him? Then she thought of Father Bartholomew, his gaunt figure, his surprised eyes, the splash of blood across her carpet.
She shivered.
The place didn't make her feel safe. All it did was emphasise the impossible situation they were in and how out of control her life was right now. It made her feel lonely.
Jacob ...
Kaitlyn turned with a start when the front door opened and both Samuel and Catherine entered, carrying her supplies. The door shut behind them.
Kaitlyn helped them spread out her blankets on the floor in front of the pews.
'You're happy to sleep out here, then?' Samuel said.
She nodded. 'I don't want to sleep alone again.' She bit her lip as she gazed down at the blankets, thinking she'd rather not sleep at all.
'Do not fear, Kaitlyn. We've made sure he can't find you.' Because we know you will betray us. His unspoken words seemed to echo around the room.
'But it doesn't change the fact that I'll have to see him again tonight.' And yet even as she said it her heart fluttered in excitement. She touched her cold hands to her face in an attempt to cool the heat in her cheeks.
Over the next hour the angels stood by the walls or sat in the pews, grim and forever alert, their eyes on the front door and the shadows. They were so cold, so quiet—not like Jacob. Kaitlyn missed him. She missed him so much. His warmth. His openness. They hardly knew each other and yet she felt such a connection. Where was he? She touched her lips, thinking of his kiss.
She couldn't go to sleep. As the angels watched, she walked, circling the hall again and again.
'You must sleep some time,' Zeke said.
'I'm not tired,' she lied as she continued to circle.
Her bare feet thudded against the floorboards. The timber creaked beneath her weight. The floor was so dusty her soles were black. The lamplight threw shadows against the walls and gleamed against the angels' bare chests and eerie eyes. Kaitlyn felt a sudden wrench in her stomach. She missed Rachel. She missed her home. She even missed her old life. Right now, the bar no longer seemed so bad. At least she could leave. At least her shift had an end. Here ...
Twenty years.
She didn't know how long she'd been walking for but it was long enough that her eyes kept slipping shut and she was struggling to keep her balance, lurching every few footsteps. No longer able to fight the inevitable, she stumbled over to her bed. It was only moments after her head hit the pillow that her eyes closed.
Kaitlyn leapt back at a sudden explosion of flames. They shot up in the sky as high as a tower. The heat was so intense that it turned her eyes hot and she was forced to shut them.
Covering her face, she staggered back. When she was safe enough way, she lowered her arm. She spun around in horror, leaping back when another explosion of flames shot into the air, this time further away. Everything was red. Everything was hot. And above, the sky was a filthy, churning grey.
Kaitlyn stumbled as the earth shuddered. She was standing at the top of an ugly lifeless hill, her bare feet sunken in what appeared to be soot and ash. There were no trees. There was no grass. There was no life at all. But why would there be in hell?
Hell. This is hell.
Grabbing at her arms, Kaitlyn witnessed it all with wide eyes. There was smoke. There was fire. Huge pinnacles of desolate black rock jabbed at the sky like hideous crooked fingers. Volcanos belched. Slimy, black rivers swirled. She whipped her head around, catching movement in the corner of her eye. She whipped it around to the other side at the sight of more movement. Black shadows, she thought, that scuttled along the ground and around mountainsides. And yet, by the time she turned to look, they were already gone.
She'd been wrong when she thought there was no life. People. She heard people screaming. It sounded like they were all around her. And yet, when she twisted around, all she saw were the flames. They wreathed the hill. They jabbed at the sky. They burned her eyes. The screaming was persistent: men and women. And maybe more—some didn't sound human.
Kaitlyn covered her ears with her hands but it did nothing. Smoke poured from a huge volcano. The earth shuddered again. Kaitlyn tried to keep her balance but fell to the ground with a cry. On her hands and knees, she stared into the flames ahead. She paused as her heart leapt in her throat. Was that something moving? Was there something in there? A body. Yes. A figure. It looked like a man—and yet not a man—scorched black by the fire. Kaitlyn blinked. He contorted and lurched and buckled in agony. In a sickening way, it almost seemed as though he was dancing.
Vomit rose in her throat. She turned her head at another scream, high and shrieking like a woman's. Somehow, it rose up above the others, as clear as a bell. Not far from the male figure, was a second figure, just as black and scorched as he was. Just as he did, she twisted and flopped about in a perverted dance.
With a trembling hand, Kaitlyn wiped the sweat from her upper lip, only to leave behind a trail of ash. Ash that could be bits of people! Kaitlyn gagged, then spat, then staggered back to her feet, wiping her hands furiously down her pants.
She was about to turn away from the figures, pretending it was all just a terrible hallucination, when a sharp flash caught her eye. It was only small and yet so impossibly bright amid the flames. It came from the woman's neck.
Kaitlyn's gut lurched. She went to grab for her own necklace, and was surprised to find that she was wearing it. It was the first time she'd worn it in any of Satan's dreams.
Kaitlyn squinted, trying to look closer, trying to perceive any other discerning features that might prove to her the truth, or lie, of what she was seeing.
'Mama?' she gasped. She turned to the man. 'Papa?'
It was pointless trying. Whoever they were, they were dead. There was nothing of them left. No hair or intact skin. Nothing that might point to the horrible possibility. Only the necklace, which continued to flash at every disgusting, contorted movement of the female figure.
Kaitlyn squeezed the golden cross so tight it cut into her hand. Closing her eyes, she screamed.
Back in the little church, Kaitlyn stared up into the darkness, panting and so hot she kicked off her blanket. As she sat up, she realised she was gripping onto her necklace just as she had in her dream. Her hand ached. Her fingers were stiff as she loosened her hold. The cross had cut deep into her palm, enough that she bled. Had she screamed in her sleep like the last time?
She blinked against the darkness, trying to see. She could discern Zeke and Samuel's dark figures in their usual places. The others were hidden behind the pews.
Clearly not—and it was a relief. The last thing she wanted was to explain herself. The very last thing she wanted was to talk about it.
Kaitlyn leaned her back against the nearest pew, her heart pounding, her mouth dry. It was just a dream. It was just a dream! And yet, she could still feel the heat of the flames against her skin. She could still smell the smoke and hear those dreadful screams.
Her parents. Could it be?
It could be anyone. Lots of people wore necklaces. And yet, she couldn't shake the possibility that it really was them. She felt it in her bones. It was too much of a coincidence. Satan was sending her a message.
Her guts twisted up. A sudden icy feeling made her break out into a cold sweat. She gritted her teeth as the tears filled her eyes.
She grabbed at her necklace again as she tried to control her breathing, as she tried to push back her grief. She tried to think back to what Jacob had told her: Your mother is safe in God's keeping. As is your grandmother. And your father. Kaitlyn tried her very best to hold onto that. The dream was likely just another one of Satan's tricks. And yet, was it not just as likely that Jacob had lied in order to be kind?
Why couldn't she just be left alone—by everyone?
Kaitlyn lay back down. Rolling over, she buried her face into her pillow.
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