I sit by the porch, my arms wrapped around my knees. It's closing in on Winter and really, I feel my heart getting colder each day. The streets are quiet, only hearing the rustling of leaves and the wind breezes through it. Alexander will finally return home tomorrow morning, and I was nervous.

It all begins tomorrow, a renewal of our friendship. I remembered the first I screamed at him when I bumped into him. All he did was cast me a mischievious smile, and I knew that very instant he had my heart in his own special way.

" honey, it's nearly 10 p.m...and you're sitting out here on your own. What's on your mind?" Mom sat herself down beside me, talking my freezing hand in her warm one. Alexander would have done the same.

I glanced over at her, a small smile on my lips.

" Alexander never deserved this mom..." A tear rolled down my cheek.

She wipes away my tear with the back of her hand, carassing my cheek.

" No one ever deserves suffering but it makes you a stronger person, Gabriel..." she pauses, " you really love him, don't you?" Mom bends low to meet my eyes.

I slowly lift my eyes, there was no point denying the attraction I have with Alexander. I wanted to embrace it.

" I do, mom. This goddamn boy, he makes me lay in bed at night, look at the ceiling and think if this is possible. Whenever I see him, I'll just stop dead in my tracks and be like 'woah holy hell', because I don't think any other person can look that good. I love the way he gets excited about things and how his voice lowers when he has no clue what he is talking about. Its absolutely adorable. I know we all have different meanings for perfect but if someone would ask me, I wpuld just say his name. I want it. I want it all. I want the pointless fights, late night texts, holding his hand and just be by his side. I want the sarcasam, the long talks where we just spill our feelings about how much we want to change the world. I want to look at him as I melt inside, I want to fall asleep and wake up in his arms every morning because he makes me feel safe. I want to hear him laugh uncontrollably, where he throws his head back and close his eyes. So yes mom....I really love him, more than you can imagine..."

I covered my eyes with the palm of my hand, mom was already at the brink of tears.

" Gabriel, look at me," she lifts my chin upwards so that my eyes are on her. I couldn't comprehend why she was crying.

" You make me so proud, I finally accomplished my job as your mother. I knew from the very start that you were going to be successful, I always worried about one thing...but now I don't have to worry about that because you just proved to me that you can love someone more than yourself...and that is the most beautiful thing in the world for a mother." She embraces me in a bone crashing hug, letting me sob against her shoulder.

I missed this, just my mother and I.

With my eyes close, my fingers gripping her sweater, I knew I had to and will pull through this.

For Alexander.

If I really loved Alexander, I would wait each day, each minute, each breath to make him feel my love again.

I'll do it, for Alexander...

▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪

I couldn't wipe that smile off my face -- what could be better than having my baby girl in my arms, finally heading back to Blake's place.

But there was something missing, I felt in my my heart, my mind, like as though someone hacked a piece of my memory out of my mind.

Apparently I was in accident which explains the bruises on my body but trust me when I say this, I can't remember a thing from that day. I wasn't bothered by it either, as long as I'm breathing and walking now --- I think I'm fine.

Blake parked his car by the garage, and we headed into the house while joking about the old days.

" Aunty Harris!" I gave Blake's mum a warm hug, along with his dad. They were like the mom and dad I use to have. Then came along Kai, walking down the stairs with his hands in his pockets. As usual, he's wearing shades in the house.

" Alexander!" He hollars.

Then...came a familiar yet unknown face. There was something about those eyes, those lagoon coloured eyes that kept appearing in my mind even when I was in coma.

I remebered seeing him at the hospital, looking extremely broken. I wanted to help him, hug him, just bring a smile to his lips for some weird reason. Maybe it was the medicine that made me feel off.

" Who's that?" I whispered over to Blake who lets out a nervous laugh upon hearing me.

Before Blake could reply me, that mysterious brunette boy who was rather good looking, reached out his hand.

" Hey Alexander, I'm Gabriel. I'm Blake's younger brother...I took care of Angie while you were in the hospital."

So that's his name, Gabriel Harris. It has a nice ring to it. And that smile, was...breathtaking.

The handshake was friendly, nothing more. Still, there was something --- once his hand touched mine, something flashed across my mind. An image of me holding a smiliar hand close to my heart.

I immediately pulled away, sloghtly overwhelmed. Thankfully it went unnoticed, well...for everyone except Gabriel.

" Thank you so much Gabriel, it really means alot to me." I tried to keep it short.

Gabriel nodded with a smile, disappearing into the kitchen, didn't he feel that spark? Was I just dreaming?

Looking down at Angie, she was frowning in confusion.

" Daddy, don't you know Gabriel? We went to the carnival together --- you, Gabriel and I."

Now it was my turn to frown, something isn't right...

And I was going to find out.