"And that's how it's done!" Violet cries loudly, slamming her last card down onto the table in front of her, setting it down on top of all the other cards in the pile. I shake my head in defeat, watching as Violet jumps up from the ground and does a little happy dance, collecting the cash off of the center of the coffee table and begins to count the bills.

Violet just won a very heated round of Uno going down between herself, Charlie, Jay, and I. Jay looks utterly astonished that he just lost, his mouth gaping open as he stares up at Violet. Charlie smirks in a way that tells me she's not so upset about the fact that her girlfriend just beat her at a child's game. I just sit on the carpet, pursing my lips and knowing that there wasn't a chance I was going to win, anyway. Thorne and Wells have long since wandered off into the kitchen, having yet to return.

"I can't believe it," Jay mutters, studying his cards with narrowed eyes. "How did that just happen? Did I really just . . . lose?"

"Suck it!" Violet cries, dancing around him in a circle. "The cash is mine! I've finally defeated the undefeated!"

I pull myself up off of the ground, stretching my stiff joints. I'm not too surprised by the fact that I lost, because both Jay and Violet are con artists. It doesn't seem to matter what game I play with them, it's always one or the other that ends up winning. Charlie and Jay rise, too, and Charlie asks, "Who wants cake?"

"Is that even a question?" Violet screeches, flaunting into the kitchen with her money. She lets out a high-pitched scream as soon as she enters the room, startling me. I walk into the kitchen behind Violet to find Thorne and Wells sitting at the table, Charlie's cake in front of them, eating it with two forks. No wonder they never came back into the living room, I think, covering my mouth with my hand so that I don't start laughing aloud.

"You hooligans!" Violet throws her hands in the air as she stares at Thorne and Wells in horror, obviously angry about the fact that they got to the cake first. "Ever heard of sharing?"

"Grab a fork," Wells says with his mouth full, only adding to Violet's frustration.

"You could have asked me before you just started eating my cake," Charlie mumbles, rolling her eyes. The smile she's trying hard to hide tells me that she's not as upset as she is amused, which is only natural. It takes a lot to rattle Charlie, as I've come to learn.

"Not cool, guys," Jay grumbles. "Not cool." He looks nearly as miffed about Thorne and Wells eating the cake as he did about losing Uno to Violet.

"You guys are so lucky I have ice-cream." Charlie makes her way to the freezer, pulling out a container of Ben and Jerry's.

Violet immediately perks up, walking over to her girlfriend and asking, "You have ice-cream?"

I watch from a distance as Charlie starts to scoop ice-cream into a few bowls, rolling her eyes good-naturedly as Violet snatches the whole container away from her, also stealing her spoon in the process. Jay and Violet start fighting over the ice-cream container, and Charlie stands in the middle of it looking like she'd rather be anywhere else. Thorne rising from the table catches my attention, and I wait patiently as he walks over to me, a faint smile on his lips.

"Good cake?" I ask Thorne, who is now standing in front of me. He rests his green-eyed gaze on me, sliding his hands into his pockets.

"Very," he plays along, casually adding, "You should probably be jealous."

I raise an eyebrow, pretending to be hurt as I say, "I guess I can't really compete with cake . . ."

Thorne bites the corner of his lip as he grins, shaking his head. "You're funny, Sunshine."

I shrug modestly, meeting his gaze as I start to grin, too. He leans down, our lips meeting as he gives me a quick kiss that doesn't last long enough. He runs his thumb over my cheek as he pulls back, telling me, "I'll be right back. I'm gonna step outside for some air, okay?"

It's kind of a weird thing for him to say, but I don't think too much of it. "Okay," I respond, kissing his cheek. "I'll be here."

Thorne gives me a departing smile, slipping out of the kitchen within seconds. I watch him as he heads out of the front door, waving as he disappears behind it. Then I turn back to my friends, accepting the bowl of ice-cream Charlie offers me.

Wells starts to tell a story about how he landed a date with this girl in his philosophy class, and I slowly start to tune him out. It's not that I don't want to listen to him, it's just that I suddenly become distracted with the sight in front of me.

Trying not to be too obvious about it, I step a little closer to Charlie's kitchen window, studying the scene outside of the glass with observant eyes. I spot Thorne in the parking lot, but that's not what seems to have triggered my attention.

It's the person standing next to him that does. I don't recognize the guy, a dark-haired maybe twenty-something man in a navy coat. I understand that there are people in this world that Thorne knows and I don't, but I don't think this is a casual meet-up with a friend going on. I mean, if it were he would have mentioned it. Thorne wouldn't have told me he was "going outside for some air" if he were only speaking to a friend, and I guess that's how I know that something more is going on here.

The interaction happening between the two seems natural enough, and I start to wonder if maybe they just ran into each other in the parking lot. I mean, Thorne wouldn't lie to me. If he said he was going outside for some air, I should believe him.

Right?

That's when something unbelievable to my eyes happens.

I watch, feeling emotionless, as the guy in the navy coat slips a wad of cash into my boyfriend's hand. Thorne studies the wad for a moment before starting to say something I can't hear, reaching into his pocket and pulling out what looks to be a small zip-lock bag. He hands it to the guy, and then the guy looks around briefly before saying something to Thorne, walking off and pulling his hood over his head. Thorne slips the cash into the pocket of his hoodie, walking off and out of my sight.

I want to gasp, but I somehow manage to contain my shock. My eyes are as wide as saucers, however, and it doesn't matter how much I want to, I can't seem to turn away from the window. What I just saw replays in my head over and over, refusing to let me stop seeing it even when my eyes are closed.

I don't know how to feel about what I just witnessed. Numb. All I feel is numb. And blindsided. Like maybe there's this whole other side of Thorne that he's been hiding from me. I mean, he just blatantly lied to me. And then he . . . he just . . .

What hurts more than seeing someone you love doing something you know they shouldn't be doing? Realizing that you might not know the person you love as well as you thought you did.

In fact, maybe I don't know Thorne that well at all. I certainly don't know the boy I just saw through the window, doing something he knows he shouldn't be. And I don't think there's anything in this entire world that could hurt me worse than that realization seems to.

★★★

"Tell me the truth."

Thorne sets his keys down on the counter, as we've only just entered his house. I've held the words in long enough, though. I didn't say a word about what I saw him do when he returned to Charlie's apartment. I didn't mention anything about it the rest of the time we spent at her place, or on the car ride here. I think I've stayed silent long enough. As much as I don't want to hear the truth, I know that I need to.

"Tell you the truth about what?" Thorne asks the question casually enough, but I notice the way he flinches when he meets my gaze. It's like with one look into my eyes he can see what I saw him do. Like he knows what's coming next.

I'm surprised by how steady my voice is as I say the words. I'm much calmer on the outside than I am on the inside. Inside, I'm shaking and on the verge of tears, wondering if the boy I'm looking at right now is the same boy I've always seen through my eyes. That's one of the worst parts about love: it can blur your reality into seeing what you want to see. Just thinking about the fact that he might be completely different than I thought he was hurts me to no end.

"I saw you." My voice doesn't waver, my fists clenching at my sides. "In the parking lot."

That's all I have to say to make Thorne's green eyes widen, his jaw go slack. He looks stricken at the same time he looks like a deer caught in headlights. I watch him open his mouth and then close it, thinking better of what he was about to say. I watch as he runs a hand through his hair, taking a step toward me. There are only inches between us right now, but it feels like there are oceans of space between Thorne and I.

"You don't understand," Thorne says finally, though he doesn't reach for me. It's almost like he's afraid to touch me, to reach through the imaginary fire that's burning between us. Which is all the same, because his touch is the last thing I want from him in this moment. "It wasn't what it looked like."

"Then what was it?" I don't realize I'm screaming until I hear my own voice echoing through the small space around us. "Tell me, Thorne, because I'm pretty sure it was what it looked like!"

"Mia—"

"Don't Mia me!" I cry, shaking my head. I'm caught somewhere between wanting to slap him in the face and wanting to burst into tears. For the millionth time in my life, I curse emotions. Life would be so much simpler if we didn't have to feel anything at all sometimes. "You wanna know what it looked like, Thorne? It looked like a drug deal!" I hurl the words at him, wishing he could feel half the pain that I'm feeling right now. Maybe then he'd understand why I'm so angry. The thought of losing him drives me to this.

"Just let me explain," he says calmly, his right eye twitching. He's acting almost too calm, as if he's afraid of what he'll say if he allows himself to reveal any emotion whatsoever.

"I don't want to hear your explanations," I spit. "I just want you to answer this question: was it or was it not a drug deal, Thorne?"

"It wasn't a drug deal." Although he says the words in a calm, neutral tone, his right eyelid twitches again. And that's how I know that he's lying. He's lying to me about something important, and that right there is enough to make me go off.

"You're lying," I hiss, shoving his chest with all my might. He hardly stumbles, but I don't care. I want him to hurt as badly as I do in this moment. "You told me you were done with gangs!" I cry, my voice quivering. "You told me you were clean! You told me you were changing!" It doesn't seem to matter how angry I am, tears well in my eyes anyway.

"I am!" Thorne booms loudly, making me flinch. He is no longer a statue, standing there and taking my accusations. Those emotions he was holding in moment earlier finally make their appearance, and I almost wish he'd contain them again. "I am, Mia!" he repeats, rage evident in his green irises. "For you!"

"You don't get to pull that on me right now!" I stomp my foot, wagging my finger at him. "You don't get to give me that I'm becoming a better person for you shit and magically get yourself out of trouble! That's not how this is going to work!"

"Listen." Thorne steps closer to me, ignoring the flames between us. He grabs my shoulders and, even though I don't want him to touch me, I resist pulling away. He looks at me with such an intensity it makes me shiver, his eyes only on mine. "I'm not going to keep lying and say what you saw wasn't a drug deal—because it was."

"I knew it!" I cry, trying hard not to let my tears spill. I don't want to cry because I don't want him to comfort me, which will inevitably lead to me giving in to him. In this moment, I need to be strong and hold my own, as much as it hurts me.

But it's hard, because he lied to me. He promised me that he was done with his criminal past. That he was becoming a better person. That he wouldn't let the past repeat itself. And now I'm not sure what to think, because I don't know if he's relapsed or if he ever even quit his old habits. Has he been lying to me this whole time? How do I know if I can believe a word he's about to say?

"But it's not like you think it is," Thorne tells me, rushing to continue before I can start screaming at him again. "I wasn't selling for a gang or even for myself, okay? You remember Asher? Remember how I told you we run in the same circles? He's gotten himself mixed up with some things he shouldn't have, and I was trying to help him out. I agreed to cover for him while he's sorting something out right now. But I made sure he understood this was a one time thing, Sunshine. It's not gonna happen again. I swear."

I try to let his words sink in by replaying them over and over again in my mind. I tell myself that he's telling the truth. I don't know if I tell myself this because I genuinely believe him, or because I want to believe him. I'm so infatuated by him, I've started to lose sight of the difference. That's the scary thing about love—it can ruin you. It can make you think up is down and right is wrong and that the truth is only what you want it to be. I've never hated the feeling until now.

"Is that true?" I question, my voice hardly a whisper. "Are you being serious?" I'm not asking because I'm ready to stop fighting with him. I'm asking because I need to see his reaction, need to be able to tell if he's being genuine. Or if he's just going to keep feeding me more lies, thinking to himself that I won't be able to spot a difference.

"Yes, Mia." Thorne sounds desperate and he looks the part, too. Only, I'm not sure if he's desperate for me to believe him because he's telling the truth, or if he's desperate for me to fall for his lie. I've become so accustomed to him, let myself fall for him so hard, I'm blind to what may be reality. I seem to only see what I want to, and it's killing me.

"Do you swear that you're not in a gang?" I press, needing to believe him. Because I don't. I really, truly don't believe a word he's told me and I need to. I need this awful this is goodbye feeling to stop appearing every time I'm around him nowadays. I need the awful he's hiding something from you thought to get out of my head. I need the truth like one needs air. "Do you promise me that you're not going to do anything like this again? Do you swear that you're telling me the truth?"

"I swear," he tells me, squeezing my shoulders for emphasis. "I promise." His tone gives nothing away, trying to force me to believe him.

I look into his eyes, studying his face. I count to ten, feeling relief start to flow through my veins. He's telling the truth, Mia, I tell myself. You have no reason not to believe him. Why would he lie to you? Why are you being so paranoid?

"Okay," I say after a long moment of silence. "Okay. I believe you."

"You do?" he asks, sounding genuinely shocked. I'm not sure if this is a good sign, because if he were telling me the truth, why would me believing him come as such a surprise?

I study him again, nodding. "I believe you." It is hard to get the words out of my mouth. It's almost like I'm trying to talk underwater, having to use extra force just to speak. And maybe that's because I don't like lying. At least, not when it comes to him.

Thorne grins, saying, "I swear I'm being honest with you, Mia. It will never happen again." He looks so relieved, like nothing in this world matters more to him than the fact that I have chosen to fall for his words.

He's smiling. He's saying the words I want to hear him say in a perfect, steady voice. He's being exactly the kind of guy he needs to be in this moment to get his way. To someone who doesn't know him, he seems like he's one hundred percent telling the truth. He's even managed to fool me.

Until I see his right eye twitch.