《Better Off》6
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Two weeks later, my life has somewhat gone back to normal.
My parents still bug me about college. I make up with Saige, deciding to pretend that my outburst never happened. I move on with life the only way I know how to: by acting invisible. At this point, I've decided to just accept the fact that that's who I am. Like Saige said a few days ago, people never really change. You can't change who you are.
Right?
The only thing that hasn't gone back to normal is life with Thorne. Girls obsess over him in the halls. Boys more or less avoid him altogether, very obviously envious of all the attention he's been getting since starting back at Day View.
Something inside me has shifted. These days, I find that I don't just sit and keep to myself. I find my eyes unintentionally looking for the boy who likes to annoy me in chemistry, shifting over the seas of students until they spot him. I notice that my heart races uncontrollably when I'm around him. I feel strangely at ease in his presence.
I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't mean for my eyes to train themselves to spot him in a crowd. I definitely didn't mean for my heart to race or to feel comfortable around him. And now that it's all happening, I find myself wishing that it would stop.
In this exact moment in time, I'm sitting in the cafeteria with Emmie and Saige by my side. It's raining out, so we can't sit at our usual place in the courtyard. Emmie's telling me and Saige a story that I don't bother listening to. Because my eyes have done that thing again, where they unintentionally find Thorne—a needle in a haystack.
There he is, across the room, leaning his back against the cinder-block wall as he talks to Asher Owens, Emmie's sort-of boyfriend. He looks good today, as usual. His dark hair sticks up in odd places, as it's evident he's been running his hands through it. He wears the same black hoodie he usually wears, paired with dark jeans and matching sneakers. Black is like his signature color, or something.
When my gaze lifts from his shoes and back to his face, I'm only half surprised to find that those startlingly green eyes of his are on mine. How many times has he caught me staring at him? Too many to count, I believe. The smirk on his lips tells me that he's thinking the same thing I am, and I can feel my cheeks turning red.
He must have the same problem I do. His eyes must unintentionally find themselves staring at me, too. That's the only way to explain the fact that Thorne Baxter is the only person in the world to spot me, the invisible girl, out of a crowd.
When he winks, I'm expecting it. What I'm not expecting, however, is for him to tilt his head toward the double doors of the cafeteria and gesture for me to follow him. Even more surprising: I find that I kind of want to go.
"I'll be right back," I mumble an excuse to Saige and Emmie. "I've gotta use the bathroom." I don't wait for a response. My feet are already on the move, leading me toward the boy that—for some reason—I haven't managed to get out of my head since the first moment I laid eyes on him.
"That's about the millionth time I've caught you in the act, Sunshine." Thorne's voice startles me. I whirl on my heel to find that he's somehow managed to sneak up behind me in the hallway.
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"What act?" I cross my arms over my chest, hoping that it will lessen the sound of my heart ramming against my ribs. Is it just me, or is my heart beating abnormally loud right now?
"You don't have to play dumb." Thorne gives me an easy grin as he leans against the lockers in the hallway, his eyes roaming my body. "Your secret's safe with me."
"What secret?" I mirror his stance, holding his gaze. I'll never understand why everything, including conversation, always has to be a game with him. I'll also never understand why I kind of like it.
"I caught you staring again." I'm so lost in his eyes it barely registers in my mind when he speaks. I blink, taking in his words until I finally understand them.
"Funny." I feel my mouth curl into a smirk. "Because I caught you doing the same thing."
"Oh, no, no, no, Sunshine." Thorne shakes his head, giving me a killer grin. Do my knees go a little weak? I can't tell. "Do not play games with me here."
"I'm the one playing games?" I shake my head, crossing my arms over my chest. "You're delusional, Thorne."
"Twist it however you want, Sunshine." Thorne pushes himself off the wall with his foot, striding over to me. "But you were the one staring at me."
"Fine." He's a good three inches taller than me, so I have to look up when I talk to him. "But can you please explain, what's with all the winks?"
Thorne exhales sharply through the nose, like he's annoyed or something. "I thought we went over this before, Sunshine." Suddenly, there's this smug I-know-something-you-don't-know look plastered all over his face as he glances down at me. "Why? Does it bother you?"
It dawns on me that he's too close for comfort. It's starting to feel like I can't breathe, and I'm getting all hot and sweaty. I don't like the way he's smirking down at me, as if he knows exactly what I'm thinking.
I don't know how to answer his question, so I keep my mouth shut. Thorne leans in even closer, my heart racing at the motion. He takes a strand of my hair and twirls it around his finger, muttering, "Your hair looks good like this, Sunshine."
I don't point out that my hair looks the same as it always does, because it's naturally wavy on its own. This whole interaction is driving me crazy, and that's when it hits me. Thorne isn't just looking at me like he knows what he's doing to me; he does know what he's doing to me. He's messing with me. And I will not give him the satisfaction of knowing that it's working.
"Thanks." I pull away from him, taking my hair with me. "I guess I'll see you in fourth, then?"
Thorne raises his eyebrows, clearly not have expecting me to react the way that I am. Finally, he nods, that stupid smirk returning. "I guess you will." With that and one last wink, Thorne turns his back and saunters off, leaving me to wonder why a boy like Thorne suddenly has an interest in messing with girls like me.
★★★
"Allrightie," my mom says in a sing-song tune, crossing another item off of the long list in her hand. "We're almost done here. Just a few more things and we'll be good to go." Mom lifts her hazel eyes from her list and shoots me a wink. She knows how much I dread grocery shopping, and I know that she's teasing me. Sometimes I think she just brings me along to torture me.
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"Finally," I mutter just loud enough for my mom to hear, ready to go home. We walk down the aisle silently, Mom occasionally grabbing items off of the shelves and setting them into the cart, crossing items off the list again.
"Honey." Mom turns to me, her business face on. "Would you mind going to the frozen aisle and grabbing a bag of peas?"
"On it." I turn on my heel, making my way across the store. Reaching the frozen aisle, I stop once I find the frozen peas. Opening the glass door, a rush of cold air falls over me, making me shiver. I grab the peas and shut the glass door, turning and ramming into something hard.
"Ouch," I mumble under my breath, stumbling back as I wince. I lift a cold hand to my forehead, realizing that I must have dropped the peas at some point because they are now on the ground. When it finally dawns on me to look up and see what I ran into, I'm not surprised to meet a pair of bright green, knowing eyes. It's the smirk on the boy's face that really makes the whole thing unbearable, and I can feel myself blushing.
"You know," Thorne says smugly, bending down to retrieve my frozen peas. "You should really watch where you're going."
I'm too bewildered to speak—or grab the peas, for that matter. I cross my arms over my chest, trying to slow the rhythm of my heartbeat. "Are you stalking me?"
"What?" Thorne lets out a low chuckle, his green eyes gleaming in a way that tells me he's enjoying this too much. "Me stalking you, Sunshine? I think it's the other way around."
"You think I'm stalking you?" I can feel frustration bubbling in my veins, rising to the surface. "Every time I look up, there you are!" I hiss the words, narrowing my eyes.
"Aww," Thorne coos, smirking wider. "You look for me, Sunshine? That is so cute!"
I can feel my nails digging into my palms as I clench my fists. Is it possible to hate someone yet be attracted to them all at once? It shouldn't be, but I can't help thinking that's an accurate representation of how I feel toward Thorne. It's flustering and completely unfair.
"Stop flattering yourself, Thorne. What are you even doing here?"
"I guess I'm here for"—Thorne looks down at the the pack of peas in his hands, giving me a wicked grin—"some peas."
I roll my eyes at his horrible attempt at humor, lunging for the bag in his hands. "Funny. Now, hand me the peas, Thorne."
"Hey!" Thorne jerks away from me, a daunting gleam in his eyes. "If you want the peas back, you're going to have to ask nicely."
"I am not doing this with you right now," I mutter under my breath. My mother is in this store, somewhere. What happens if she wanders onto this aisle, wondering why I'm taking so long, and notices me talking to Thorne? She surely knows who he is—everyone around here seems to. I'd be dead within seconds.
"You want to be like that?" I turn back to the glass doors, reaching for the handle to the door that holds the peas. "I'll just grab another bag and be on my way."
Thorne swoops in quickly, stepping in front of the door and pinning himself against it. I try to yank the door open, but he's too heavy.
"Thorne!" I groan, squeezing my eyes closed, unable to believe this is really happening. "Seriously, just give me the peas. My mom is probably wondering what's taking me so long."
Instead of looking sympathetic and handing over the stupid peas, Thorne suddenly looks more interested in teasing me. His eyes light up and his grin takes over half of his annoyingly attractive face, showing off his perfect white teeth. "Oh," he says, looking around. "Mommy McHenry is here? I'd love to meet her, Sunshine."
My face flushes red. Is it hot in here, or is it just me? It has to just be me, because I'm on the frozen aisle. "You are not meeting my mother." I grit my teeth, just the thought making me woozy.
"Why?" Thorne pretends to pout, twisting the peas around in his hands. "Are you ashamed to have a friend like me, Sunshine?"
"We are not friends," I hiss, reaching for the peas again. He just lifts the bag up in the air, unfairly high considering my height.
"That's not so nice to say to the guy with your peas," Thorne taunts. Why is he like this? Why does he get off on my annoyance so much? It's frustrating to no end!
"What do you want?" I'm tired of playing games with him. I hold my ground, crossing my arms over my chest as I lift my gaze to his, waiting for him to name his price.
Thorne hesitates for a moment, pressing his lips together as his eyes roam me, from my roots to my feet and back again. I bite the insides of my cheeks, wondering what he's thinking and why I even care.
"Say please," Thorne says simply, his mouth slowly curling back into that stupid God-forsaken smirk of his. "And I'll give you the peas."
I roll my eyes, exhaling sharply. He wants me to give him my dignity in return for some stupid peas. I, Mia McHenry, am about to be forced to beg Thorne freaking Baxter for a bag of peas that my mother wants. What did I do to deserve this?
"Please," I say through gritted teeth. "May I please have the peas back?"
Thorne bites his bottom lip, looking satisfied with himself. "See?" he says smugly. "How hard was that?"
Thorne extends the bag of peas to me, smirking the entire time. Just as my fingers are curling around the cold plastic, I hear the sound of a kid squealing loudly. Before it even registers in my mind what's going on, a shopping cart is racing toward me with nobody to stop it.
The next thing I know, I'm being grabbed by Thorne and trading places with him. Suddenly, I'm the one pinned to the cold glass door, Thorne standing just inches away from me. A little kid runs by, his mother following after him.
"I am so sorry," the mother tells us on her way to the shopping cart her child just pushed into a rack of soap only a few feet away from me and Thorne. "I don't know what gets into him sometimes."
"It's all right," Thorne tells the woman politely as she scurries by, fussing at her child for what he did.
I can feel my chest rising with every breath I take, hear my heart pounding in my ears. Only, I'm not sure if I'm scared because of the fact that I almost just got hit by a shopping cart, or because of how close I am to Thorne as he presses me against the door.
"You okay?" Thorne asks me softly, easing off of me slightly. I nod, unable to manage words in this moment.
"Uh, y-yeah," I say shakily, wondering what in God's name just happened. "F-fine."
"Good." Thorne eyes me for a moment before adding, "That could have been bad."
I don't say what I'm thinking: that it's bad enough already, being pressed against Thorne, having him so close to me, looking at me with those bright green eyes that always manage to drive me wild. Or maybe that's not a bad thing at all. I can't tell, because the whole situation is confusing me.
"Um, thank you." My voice sounds smoother than I thought I'd be able to muster right now. "For, uh, you know."
Thorne steps back, allowing me personal space. His eyes gleam as he smiles. Yes, an actual smile from Thorne Baxter; not a smirk, for once. He shoves his hands in his pockets as he says, "Any time, Sunshine."
And just like that I'm missing having him so close to me. I want him to press me against the glass all over again, only under different circumstances. I want to know what it would feel like to have him give me that smile a million times; know what it'd be like to have his lips on mine. The thoughts I'm thinking are crazy, I know, but I can't stop myself from thinking them over and over, wondering why I'm still standing here.
"I should—" I stop short, forgetting what I was going to say. "I should go."
Thorne only nods, giving me that I-know-something-you-don't-know look of his that I normally can't stand. "See you around, Sunshine?" he says finally, reminding me that I'm still standing here.
"Yeah," I mutter softly, tucking my hair behind my ear. "See you around."
As I walk off, I'm surprised to find that I mean the words. That I genuinely want to see him again, unlike usual. And that's probably the scariest thing I've ever thought.
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