《shards - pietro maximoff》chapter twenty-five ; 'asgard' and autopilot
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"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Now?"
"No."
"... Now?"
"No!"
Dahlia groaned, resting her head on the back of her seat in the jet. "How fucking FAR is Norway?"
"Seeing as it's a whole other country, I'd say pretty far."
They had been in the sky for about five hours, and Dahlia was bored out of her wits. Bruce was studying a book in front of him, writing things down in a notepad every few minutes or so. He was fairly successful at ignoring her complaints.
Rocket, however, was not as good at that. He was becoming very annoyed with her impatience, but a part of him ached at the feeling of dealing with a kid, reminding him of Groot and everyone they stood to bring back.
Pietro normally would've been the one to deal with her antics, and calm her down for as long as need be, but he was fast asleep, his head in Dahlia's lap. It was the only thing that was keeping her from throwing herself off the plane and into the traffic below.
The jet started its descent, and Dahlia seemed to forget about the man sleeping on her lap as she started to hop up and down in her seat, anxious to see her best friend again.
"Dahls, just know, if I didn't love you and care about your well-being, I would have thrown you out the window." Pietro mumbled, rubbing his eyes as he sat up.
"Well, I guess it's lucky you love me, then!" Nothing could put a damper on her happiness, not when the prospect of seeing Thor was on the horizon.
The team had split up, going to gather the Avengers who were out of reach. Dahlia had originally wanted to go with Natasha, but upon hearing where Bruce and Rocket were headed, she immediately changed her mind.
In truth, Nat wanted to keep Dahlia as far away from where she was as possible. Clint had gone rogue, and the only trace of him wasn't pleasant. Fifteen bodies in Tokyo, all dead from arrow and knife wounds. Once his family had disappeared, he went off the grid, and Nat wasn't sure if she even wanted to find him, but she had to try.
The four Avengers climbed off the plane, getting into a Utility car that was parked in the lot below.
"Shotgun!" Pietro called, running towards it with his powers and landing himself in the front seat, propping his legs up on the dashboard.
Dahlia crossed her arms. "I wanted shotgun!"
"Uh, Dahlia?" Bruce asked.
"Yeah?"
"You've gotta drive."
She let out a whine. She hated driving anything other than her motorcycle. "Why can't someone else do it?"
Bruce shrugged. "Too big."
Rocket spoke up. "Too non-human."
She looked towards Pietro, who winked when he caught her gaze. "Too illegal, love. I only have a license in Sokovia."
"Ugh." Dahlia got in the front seat and started the car, once Rocket had gotten in the back and Bruce climbed in the trunk. "As soon as this is all over, we're getting you a license."
Pietro groaned, but didn't protest.
The car drove down the green countryside, the landscape looking untouched.
"I wonder if I could run fast enough to create a spark and set that whole field on fire," Pietro murmured as he looked out the window, causing Rocket and Dahlia to look at him with alarm. "What?"
"Wow, didn't think arson was your speed, Zippy. Respect." Rocket nodded his head in approval while Dahlia continued to look horrified.
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"Hey, there. Arson is only okay when you're getting revenge on you or your friend's cheating exes." She said, firm in her morals.
"Why does it sound like you've had experience with that?" Pietro's eyes widened.
"Just remember to never cheat on me." Dahlia smiled sweetly.
Rocket nodded his head. "Yeah, I'd listen to her, I don't think she's joking."
"Yeah, me either."
On their right, they passed a sign that read, in huge print letters:
Dahlia slowed down a bit, and they pulled into a small town on a port. As they all got out of the car, she turned to Bruce. "Are you sure we're at the right place?"
The Asgardians were living a normal life, just like normal humans.
"Not to be rude or anything, but what the hell is this?" Pietro's eyebrows creased.
"Kind of a step down from a golden palace and magic hammers and whatnot." Rocket looked just as confused as he was.
Bruce poked the two in the side with one finger. "Hey, have a little compassion, guys. First they've lost Asgard, then half the people. They're probably just happy for have a home."
He noticed a woman looking over at him and he walked over to her.
"Who is she?" Dahlia whispered.
"No idea, but she looks scary." Pietro said back in a hushed tone.
"Awesome, you mean."
Bruce smiled wide as he approached the woman.
"You shouldn't have come." She said.
"Ah, Valkyrie! Great to see you, Angry Girl." He clapped her on the back.
Valkyrie's face contorted as she noticed his appearance. "I think I liked you better either of the other ways."
Bruce didn't seem to hear her, and gestured for them to come over, which they did.
"These guys are Rocket, Dahlia, and Pietro."
She eyed Rocket with suspicion, sparing a nod to Pietro and Dahlia before turning back to the man in front of her. "He won't see you."
"That bad, huh?"
Valkyrie sighed. "We only see him once a month, when he comes for..."
Her gaze darted a pile of legs of stout and beer on the side. "Supplies."
Bruce tensed up. "It's that bad."
"Yeah."
Dahlia wanted to help, but she wasn't sure how. "Maybe he'll see me?"
Valkyrie looked over at her. "Maybe. We'll see."
She led them to a building, and the four of them walked in tentatively, not sure what to expect.
Rocket fanned his nose with his hand as the air hit their nostrils. "What the... Woo! Something died in here."
Dahlia gagged and Pietro laughed before doing the same as Rocket.
"Oh god that's disgusting."
Bruce walked through another door. "Hello? Thor?"
A voice that sounded like Dahlia's best friend's came from the next room. "Are you here about the cable?"
Thor walked into view and their jaws dropped. He was definitely... different, to put it lightly.
"The Cinemax ran out about two weeks ago, and the sports were all kind of fuzzy."
"Thor?" Bruce asked the question they were all thinking.
His face lit up in joy. "BOYS! Oh my god! It's so good to see you!" He grabbed all of them and pulled them in a hug.
Dahlia, who, while missing her best friend, was being suffocated in a horrible stench, made a remark. "Uh, hi. Someone of the female species here."
Thor noticed Rocket and released them, running towards the raccoon and ruffling the fur on his head. "Come here, you little rascal!"
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"No, I'm good. I'm good. That's not necessary." Rocket gasped for breath, wrestling his way out of the embrace.
He gestured to the living room, to two people on the couch, if you could even call them that. "Hulk, you know my friends, Miek, Korg, right?"
"Hey boys!" A pile of rocks with a face waved to them.
Dahlia sighed. "Again, someone with a female reproductive system here."
"You don't have to keep saying it, I'm fairly sure Maximoff already knows that." Rocket smirked up at them.
"You wouldn't be wrong." Pietro and Rocket fist-bumped, snickering in synchronization.
"You know... I wanna be mad, but that was so good." Dahlia shook her head with a smile.
Bruce waved to the two. "Hey guys, long time no see."
"Beer's on the bucket. Feel free to log on to the Wi-Fi. No password, obviously." The pile of rocks, Korg, said kindly.
His voice turned urgent, moving their attention to the screen in front of them, which Dahlia believed was displaying the video game, Fortnite. "Thor, he's back. The kid on the TV that called me a dickhead again."
"NoobMaster." Thor said seriously.
"Yeah, NoobMaster69 called me a dickhead."
Pietro and Dahlia tried to hold back their laughter and failed.
Thor took up the headset, a look of determination far too serious for the situation crossing his face. "Noobmaster. Hey, it's Thor again. You know, the God of Thunder? Listen, buddy. If you don't log off this game immediately, I'm gonna fly over to your house, come down to that basement you're hiding in, rip off your arms and SHOVE THEM UP YOUR BUTT! Oh, that's right, go cry to your father, you little weasel!"
"That was harsh." Bruce murmured.
"To be fair, kids who play Fortnite are brats, they probably deserve it." Pietro shrugged, not worried about the kid in the slightest.
"Thank you, Thor." Korg took back the headA and started killing several people on the screen.
He smiled triumphantly. "Let me know if he bothers you again, okay?"
"Thank you very much. I will." Korg's voice was polite, for someone who was slaughtering virtual competitors.
"So you guys want a drink? What are you drinking? We have beer, tequila, all sorts of things." Thor offered.
"Pass the tequila." Dahlia didn't hesitate, but just as Thor was about to hand it to her, Pietro grabbed it and set it down on the table.
"Yeah, we're not gonna do that. You have to drive, love."
She grumbled. "I hate driving."
Bruce's eyes softened, he was seriously worried about Thor, they all were. "Buddy, you all right?"
Thor laughed, but there was no real humor in it. "Yes, I'm fine! Why, don't I look all right?"
"You look like melted ice cream." Rocket raised his eyebrow.
Pietro laughed and badly covered it up as a cough.
"So, what's up?" Thor tried to change the subject.
"We need you help. There might be a chance we could fix everything." Bruce said carefully.
"What, like the cable?" Thor burped. "Cause that's been driving me bananas for weeks."
"Like Thanos." Pietro said.
He tensed up visibly. "Don't say that name."
Korg interjected. "Um, yeah. We don't actually say that name in here."
"Please take your hand off me," Bruce said quietly. "Now I know that... guy might scare you."
"Why would I be? Why would- Why would I be scared of that guy? I'm the one who killed that guy, remember? Anyone else here killed that guy? Nope. Didn't think so. Korg, why don't you tell everybody who chopped Thanos' big head off." Thor stumbled over his words, trying to convince himself more than anyone else.
Korg thought for a moment. "Umm... Stormbreaker?"
He continued to prod him to get the right answer. "Now, who's swinging Stormbreaker?"
Bruce held his hands up, understanding the point. "I get it, you're in a rough spot, okay? I've been there myself. You wanna know who helped me out of it?"
"I don't know. Is it... Natasha?" Thor guessed.
"It was you. You helped me." Bruce said softly.
He scoffed and gestured to the window, beer in hand. "Why don't you ask the Asgardians down there how much my help was worth. The ones that are left, anyway."
"I think we can bring them back."
Thor waved his hands in the air, trying to get him to stop talking."Stop, stop, okay? I know you think I'm down here wallowing in pity, waiting to be rescued and saved. But I'm fine, okay? We're fine, aren't we?"
Korg smiled and replied from the couch. "Nah, all good here, mate."
"So, whatever it is that you're offering, we're not into it, don't care, couldn't care less. Goodbye." He turned away from them.
Bruce looked desperate. "We need you, pal."
Rocket sighed. "There's beer on the ship."
"...What kind?"
•
"Damn, when you said we'd get time travel suits, I was thinking of something more flashy. Maybe some glitter, maybe some sparkles."
Dahlia crossed her arms and leaned up against the door frame, watching Bruce and Scott play around with the suit.
"I think it's not half bad." Rhodey shrugged.
She scoffed. "Well, that right there is why you're not in charge of those."
"Hey, hey hey! Easy!" Scott swatted Bruce's hands away from a glass vial, cradling it in his hands.
He sighed. "I'm being very careful."
"No, you're being very Hulky." Scott was starting to get defensive.
"I'm being careful."
"These are Pym Particles, alright? And ever since Hank Pym got snapped out of existence, this is it. This is what we have. We're not making any more." He snapped, his voice sharp.
Rhodey patted him on the back. "Scott, calm down."
He took in a breath. "Sorry. We've got enough for one round trip each. That's it. No do-overs. Plus two test runs."
In a flash, his helmet snapped over his face and he shrunk to his small size, before immediately returning to full size.
Scott sheepishly grinned. "One test run."
"Damn, I want something to be named after me. Pym Particles sound so good! Anelace... Acrobatics. Shit, that doesn't work, my back would break like a glow stick." Dahlia scratched her neck, trying to come up with a good name.
"If you wanted that to happen, I'd be willing to lend a hand-" Pietro opened his mouth to say more but Dahlia cut him off.
"Okay okay, we get it, you like making inappropriate jokes about me. Got it." She rolled her eyes with a smile.
Pietro grinned back. "Ah, you know me so well."
Once Scott was suited up for the test run, his nerves were beginning to get to him.
"All right. I'm not ready for this." He squirmed and hopped up and down in place, clearly not emotionally ready either.
"I'm game. I'll do it."
Clint had spoken from the back of the room. No one had heard him speak since he had arrived, and everyone was afraid to say anything to him. Dahlia was particularly worried she'd say something stupid like 'How have you been?' and he'd be forced to talk about his murder-spree.
Ten minutes later and a king was all suited up and ready to go.
"Clint, now you're gonna feel a little discombobulated from the chronoshift. Don't worry about it." Bruce was trying to be comforting, but it wasn't needed, since Clint appeared to be made of steel at the moment.
"Wai- Wait a second, let me ask you something. If we can do this, you know, go back in time, why don't we just find baby Thanos, you know, and..." Rhodey made a strangling hand gesture.
"I would like to witness that." Dahlia said.
"First of all, that's horrible." Bruce shot a look at Dahlia as he said that.
"It's Thanos!" Rhodey crossed his arms.
"And secondly, time doesn't work that way. Changing the past doesn't change the future."
Pietro's brow furrowed. "That makes absolutely no sense."
"Look, we go back, we get the stones before Thanos gets them... Thanos doesn't have the stones. Problem solved." Scott looked proud of himself, but it didn't last long,
"That's not how it works." Nebula spoke up.
"Well, that's what I heard." Clint shrugged.
Bruce looked confused. "What? By who? Who told you that?"
"Star Trek, Terminator, TimeCop, Time After Time..." Rhodey counted them on his fingers.
"Quantum leap." Scott added.
He continued on. "A Wrinkle in Time, Somewhere in Time-"
"Hot Tub Time Machine."
"Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure!" Dahlia said excitedly.
"Die Hard? No, that's not one..." Scott frowned.
Dahlia and Pietro exchanged a look before saying, in unison, "Yipee ki yay, motherfucker."
"Point is, it's a known thing." Rhodey ended their rant with a smile.
"I don't know why everyone believes that, but that isn't true. Think about it: if you travel to the past, that past becomes your future. And your former present becomes the past. Which can't now be changed by your new future..." Bruce was apparently very passionate about the topic, his voice raising in volume.
"Exactly." Nebula looked pleased, which was an emotion Dahlia and Pietro hadn't seen on her yet, which wasn't saying much, seeing as they'd known her for less than a day.
"So... Back to the Future's a bunch of bullshit?" Scott was absolutely devastated.
"That's disappointing." Pietro murmured.
"Alright, Clint. We're going in 3...2...1!"
As Bruce reached the end of the numbers, a helmet latched around his face, and he disappeared in a flash.
"5...4...3...2...1!"
He materialized on the glass floor, panting heavily and muttering to himself.
Nat kneeled next to him, trying to figure out what went wrong. "Hey. Look at me. You okay?"
Dahlia was about five seconds from jumping out the window in frustration, tired of this not working, when Clint's voice broke through.
"Yeah, it worked. It worked."
She couldn't repress the yell that left her lips. "FUCK YEAH!"
"Language!" Steve called from another room.
"Oh, sorry Cap. FRICKITY-FRACK TIC TAC APPLESNACK YEAH!"
A collective sigh went through the room.
"Maximoff. Collect your girlfriend."
"Yes, sir."
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