FATIMA's POV.

My knees were starting to hurt from being bent for so long. This model was extremely difficult to work with and all I could think about was how easy it was to work with Zim. I narrowed my eyes at the woman that I had just set for the fifth time, in a different position than the one I had placed her in.

"Guys.. take 5." I sighed.

Tanya walked up to me and handed me a cup of coffee, she worked with this magazine company and that's how we met the first time. Honestly, I'm not feeling her much but she's a good distraction from constantly thinking about Zim. After she had moved out I would sneak into her room late at night to sleep in her bed, I had missed her so much that my tears would come without consent but I knew she didn't feel the same way about me and I knew there couldn't be an us, other than friendship, because of Kwashie.

I actually liked them together because they were both bat shit crazy and seemed to balance each other out. Zim and I wouldn't work out because I didn't have the ups and downs in me to keep her on her toes, she even seemed a bit bored when Kwashie wasn't out being mischievous; she loved being miserable and it was obvious. I laughed out and shook my head looking down into the coffee cup at the light brown liquid.

"Share the joke." Tanya said.

"It's nothing." I smiled.

"Damn.. I don't deserve to laugh too?" She joked.

"Then go find something funny to laugh about." I hissed my teeth at her.

Tanya rolled her eyes and walked away. She always thought I was too uptight but that wasn't the problem, the problem was that I didn't like her as much as she thought I did and six months was a long time to be pretending. I decided to step outside for some fresh air with my coffee in hand just holding onto it for the warmth, she always made it too sweet and I hated it. Zim knew how to make my coffee just the way I liked it and with extra love. I pulled out a cigarette and held it between my lips searching for my lighter. I cursed under my breath when I realized I left it in my jacket on the inside, I saw a dude walking by and I called out to him.

"Yo! You got a light?" The person turned around and my eyes widened when I realized that it was a female.

"Yeah..." she dug into her shoulder bag and took out a lighter walking up to me.

"Uhh thanks." I nervously chuckled.

I lit the cigarette in silence as she watched me do so, I felt extremely self conscious under her gaze and I wondered why she had to make this awkward. I handed back the lighter to her with a thankful smile.

"Kashima.." She said.

"Huh?" I lifted my nose.

"My name is Kashima but you can call me Kash." She explained.

"Hi Kash, my name is Fatima." I extended my hand for a hand shake.

"Nice to meet you, Fatima." She shook my hand with a chuckle.

"You work around here?" She asked me.

"Yeah, I'm working on a project in there." I pointed back to the building I came from.

"You're a model?" She looked at me with curious eyes.

"Uhh.. n-no.. I'm the photographer." I stuttered.

"You'd make a great model, though." Her eyes moved from my face and slowly ventured down my body with a sly smile on her face.

"We should be friends." She returned her gaze to my face.

"Why?" I was curious about this stranger.

"Our names are similar." She said.

"That's the only reason why?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Scouts honor. Us ima's have to stick together." She raised her hand with her thumb flat against her palm.

"Aiite, bet." I laughed at her.

I took out my phone and handed it to her as she did the same. I put in my number and saved the contact as FATima J. I handed her phone back and saw that her extra ass saved her contact as Kash Money 💸, I laughed as I locked the screen and saw her typing away at her screen.

"Since you decided to be boring, I fixed your contact for you and now it's Daddy Fat Fat." She said with a serious expression.

I stared at her for a moment before I burst out into a fit of laughter spit flying as I leaned forward and held onto my knees for support.

"You not serious..." I trailed off.

"I is." She gave a smug expression and turned her phone to me.

There it was, Daddy Fat Fat 📸🎯. I couldn't help the other round of laughter that left my lips, no one else other than Zim could make me laugh like this.

"You look like someone in love." She said after my laughter had died down.

"I'm not." I thought about Tanya.

"Are you in a relationship?"

"I am.."

"You're not feeling her, are you?"

"Why all these questions? And did you just assume that I'm gay?"

"I can't assume something that's basically screaming in my face." She said in a matter of fact tone.

"You ha-" I was cut off by my name being called from behind me.

"You have my number, use it sometimes." She raised her hand for a fist bump.

"Yeah.. Yeah, sure." I fist bumped her.

Those words sounded very familiar, I was almost sure someone else had said them to me a long time ago. I walked back to the building after throwing my unsmoked whole cigarette away. The model was back on the set as I pulled up a chair instead of going back into a crouch. I allowed Tanya to set her properly before I started taking the pictures, she was an amateur and I've worked with worst but I knew this was going to be a long day.

I started packing up my equipment as soon as 5 PM struck, I wasn't planning on working pass the hour since they made it clear I wouldn't be getting paid for it. I should've started packing up from 4:30 so I could've been out of here by 5 on the dot. Tanya had left with the models and the pictures that were taken to drop them off at the graphic designer, she told me that I could leave without her. I had the young intern, who worked as my assistant for the day, help me carry the equipment cases to my car. I didn't have to but overhearing a conversation he was having on the phone earlier with his mom I slipped him $200 in his hands so he could get a decent meal for his small family that consisted of him, his little sister and, his mom. His smile was grateful after I convinced him to keep it and to think of it as compensation for his work today.

I had to go home and get ready for the dinner at Richard's house, I was excited to see Zim as I always was. Zim... it was her who had said the same thing Kash said earlier but that was so long ago and yet still it had managed to feel like more than just a regular sentence because of her. I couldn't exactly tell where I fell in love with her but I knew that I was the moment I had told her a lame joke and she still laughed as if it was the funniest thing in the world. The way how her almost Chinese looking fine eyes squinted shut and she threw her head back in laughter and she slapped my knee instead of hers or the way how she would wrap her legs around me whenever she was too lazy to walk back to her room and she wanted me to carry her, she was at an advantage because she was short and slim.

I knew I loved her from the day I decided to stay by her side at the hotel instead of allowing her to go in and face Kwashie alone and when we went back to her house, she cuddled into my side crying and asking me of all persons why Kwashie didn't love her. I could've told her how much I could treat her better because she deserved better but I settled for an I don't know. It had hurt when she came back from the honeymoon and she told me that they had sex on the wedding night and I wasn't exactly sure why it had hurt that much but I now knew that it was because I thought she would see that Kwashie wasn't worth her tears and she would come running back to me but instead she found her arms instead of mines.

I connected my phone to the aux cable and hit the shuffle button. Zim loved my weird taste in music, said it was different from anyone else she's known and it gave me character; she spoke as if she had much friends before me. The song started and I smiled thinking of how different my idea of a love song is compared to hers. I let her on to my country music playlist and she loved it so I couldn't help the smile that tugged at my lips when I heard the intro to Blue Ain't Your Color by Keith Urban. I hummed the words to the song and drummed my fingers against the steering wheel.

"I'm not tryna be another just pick you up kinda guy tryna drink you up, tryna take you home but I just don't understand how another man can take your sun and turn it ice cold. Well, I've had enough to drink and it's making me think that I just might, tell you if I were a painter I wouldn't change ya, I'd just paint you bright, baby." I sung out.

"Bluuuuuuuue looks good on the sky, looks good on that neon buzzing on the wall but darling it don't match your eyes. I'm telling yoooooooooou, you don't need that guy. He's so black and white, he's stealing your thunder and baby blue ain't your color." I stopped at the stoplight waiting for the light to change while I bellowed out the notes with my eyes closed.

I drove off making the left turn to my apartment complex humming the last few words of the repeated chorus. I sung this song to Zim one night when we were just sharing new music that we found and even though I've known this song for forever, she didn't have to know that. I took her by the hand and dragged her up from the bed and placed her arms on my shoulders while I held onto her waist and attempted to slow dance.

"Call me baby. Let me light up your world." I finished the song.

I didn't want to become the friend that fell in love with their best friend and had the secret eating them alive but here I was dedicating my time and thoughts to someone I could never be with. I sighed at my own recurring stressful thoughts as I turned off the car and got out locking the doors. I waited on the elevator to take me all the way up to the top floor, if it was my choice I would've gotten one closer to the ground because of paranoia. I unlocked my apartment door and walked in to the expensively decorated space, Big Cee took care of the bills and all I did was restock the fridge.

I took a long cold shower to get rid of the thoughts I currently had. I finally got out once my fingers started to prune and wrapped up in my towel before walking into my bedroom. I went over to my dresser and tried my best to avoid looking at the picture I had framed and sat on top of it; it was the first Christmas we spent together when she got me the Polaroid camera as a gift. I've wanted to cut Kwashie out of the picture but I couldn't bring myself to do it since she added some form of depth to the scene. The picture that sat right beside it was the one I took on her wedding day and we were staring into each other's eyes with a light grin, everyone who saw the picture had a different meaning for it but I just saw it as two kindred spirits that could never be together.

I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind as I dragged myself to get dressed. We had planned to stay overnight and I wouldn't have to pack a bag since I already had clothes at the house. I got dressed in a fitted dark blue jeans with a white short sleeved button down folding the arms twice and then pushed my feet into my dark brown loafers. I loitered around my house for sometime just making sure everything was in place and all of my photos were precisely and neatly on the wall, I had drawn up the measurements myself to make sure everything fit perfectly how I wanted them. I walked down the short hallway and looked at the naked pictures I had of Zim, you wouldn't exactly know it was her because her face wasn't showing. It was just her body pressed up against the wet glass and her dark nipples were the most intimate part that you could see and they were three different photos with three different intimate poses.

I don't know what influenced us that day but she suggested it and I didn't deny it. I got out my camera as she stripped down and turned the water hot enough so that the steam could rise and she directed the shower head onto the glass so the water could be a constant feature in the shots. I enjoyed working with her, she was very comfortable with me so she wasn't camera shy and I was grateful for that. I remember feeling so horny after the little shoot that I had to retreat to my room just to buss a quick nut in the shower before I uploaded the pictures to my computer. I continued to the front door and took one last glance before enabling the security system and locking up.

I had to go pick up Tanya from her house and while I was driving I decided to call Kash. I had the phone connected to my speakers as I heard the loud ringing before she answered the call.

"Fatima, I didn't think you'd use my number." She chuckled.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know, just that what's a girl like you doing with a girl like me?"

"You did say us ima's had to stick together." I reminded her.

"We do. What are you up to?"

"I'm heading to a family dinner. You?"

"Working late."

"What kind of work do you do?"

"I'm the graphic designer for the magazine company."

"Ohhhh."

"Yeeeeees."

"I like your pictures, by the way." She complimented my work.

"Thank you, I try."

"Don't be modest. You're the best photographer I've seen this company hire." She chuckled.

"You are too kind." I laughed.

"Let's get together sometime."

"I have a girlfriend and how do you know that I'm into other studs?"

"It was obvious from how you responded to me." I could hear the smile on her lips.

"Leave your lover, leave her for me." She sung out.

"I can't just do that." I chuckled.

"Why not? You don't seem very happy and I know for a fact that I could put back the life in your eyes."

"What makes you so sure of yourself?" I raised my eyebrow.

"I do a better job of showing than telling, give me a chance Fat Fat." She pleaded.

"Is this you asking me out on a date?"

"At least you're not completely clueless."

"Hey!!"

"I'm sorry." She laughed.

"So is it a yes?" She asked me.

"Tomorrow night at 8."

"Thank you God!" She raised her voice.

"Very funny. I'll talk to you later, alright?" I parked in front of Tanya's house and honked once.

"Enjoy your dinner."

"Thank you and enjoy your late working hours."

"Don't let me fight you." I laughed at that.

We said our goodbyes and disconnected the call as Tanya pulled the door and I selected a song. She leaned over to kiss my cheek followed by a goodnight. We didn't talk over the music as I drove the long distance to Richard's place. Once I pulled up to the big iron gates, I typed in my code and the gate slowly opened. I saw headlights pull up behind me and looked in the rear view mirror to see Kwashie's Jaguar that she purchased earlier this year. The gate had fully opened and we both drove in and parked beside each other. I got out and opened my arms knowing that Zim would run and jump on me.

"Ima." She shouted as she got out of the front seat and ran towards my outstretched arms.

"Zim." I grabbed onto her small body and lifted her up as I always did and swung her.

"Hey Tanya." She greeted my girlfriend of six months.

"Wassup Zim Zim." She pulled Zim into a hug.

Kwashie dapped me up and then gave Tanya a hug before walking ahead of us and leading us inside. We sat at the table sipping wine and catching up on each other's lives, if it was one thing about this family it's that they always had some form of alcoholic beverage at any gathering small or large, formal or informal.

"My old man, you have wrinkled." Zim said to Richard.

"And you have matured." Everyone started laughing except Tanya since she didn't really understand the joke. I didn't think Zim matured, she just learned to adapt with the newfound responsibilities. I still saw the girl who loves strawberry ice cream a little bit too much and watched cartoons day in and out.

"That's not even funny, y'all stay hurting my feelings." Zim said and I watched as Kwashie kissed her jaw and she instantly smiled throwing away the frown she previously wore.

"Zidan-I-A" Zachary called from the steps.

"Can't you be normal and just say my full name instead of saying I A?" Zim said to the little boy who now sported prescription glasses. He had asked for my help in choosing one, said he didn't want to look like a nerd because the kids at school teased others who wore glasses.

"No." He walked down the remaining steps and went to hug her as she pulled him onto her lap.

"Hey K." He waved at Kwashie.

"So you don't see me? The one who actually took care of you and saved you from the likes of Zidan I A?" I acted as if I was hurt as I rested my open palm flat against my chest.

"HONEY!!" He jumped off Zim's lap and ran around the table pouncing on me.

"Hey, lil man." I laughed and hugged onto him.

"You're going to make a great godmother and Aunty." Zim said from across the table.

"You're pregnant?" Richard looked between Zim and Kwashie who had a wide grin on her face and I tried my best to not scowl or show my unhappiness at the new information.

"What did you do?" He asked Kwashie.

"I poked holes in the condom." And again, everyone laughed including Tanya this time and excluding me.

I thought about when I found out that Kwashie was actually a female and it all added up, Zim would never date a man no matter how much she tried to convince herself that sexuality was fluid and the only reason she accepted this was because Kwashie was a female. Tanya didn't know about our family secrets so jokes like that made sense.

"It's usually the other way around." Tanya laughed.

"It should be but he really, really wanted a kid." Zim said as she elbowed Kwashie.

"Awww, you guys are so cute." She looked at them with dreamy eyes and I rolled my eyes turning my attention back to Zachary.

"Carry this baby for me." Zim said. I knew she had planned on getting pregnant but that conversation was one year ago and I thought she had changed her mind since she didn't mention anything more about it to me.

"Don't tempt me, I might just do it." Tanya said and they all laughed.

Sophia came out with the food and more wine. We drank and ate until I offered to put a tired and almost passed out Zachary to bed but Zim was already holding him so we both went upstairs to tuck him in.

"So you're pregnant.." I said. It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeeeah." I watched as she tucked her little brother in.

"Didn't think you had it in you." I tried my best to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

"Well I didn't exactly had to do much other than lay down with my legs wide open for a few minutes." She joked.

"So, this is what you really want?" I asked. I needed some kind of verbal closure so that I could move on from this unrequited love.

"Yeah.." She trailed off.

"Then I'm happy for you." I subconsciously pulled her into a hug missing how she felt in my arms.