Richard, Kwashie and Mr Ekuban had all left for a business trip leaving us alone at home, I didn't want to stay at home by myself so I found myself standing outside Fatima's apartment door hugging my blanket around me to keep me and my bulging belly warm.

"Who is it?" She called from inside.

"Sandy Clause." I mocked the pumpkin king.

She opened the door wide enough for me to walk in and I shut the door behind me. It's been five months since the kiss and I decided to sweep it under the rug as if it had never happened.

"Did I interrupt anything?" I asked before moving too far from the door.

"No, I'm alone here." She held onto my hand and lead me to her couch.

I sat down, pulled my feet from my black crocs and dropped them into her lap wiggling my toes with a smile on my face. I heard her give a low chuckle before she started to massage my feet and I hummed in satisfaction.

"Girl, can you believe a sister is horny all the time?" I groaned.

"Pregnancy hormones." She shrugged.

"Damn this pregnancy thing." I hissed my teeth.

"What you got up in here to eat? My ass is famished and I ate before I left." I faked cry.

"That kid gonna be so fat they'll have to cut him outa you." She rolled her eyes.

"And yo daddy so fat they had to get a crane to lift his ass off the bed when he had a heart attack." I rolled my neck.

"Yo mama.. yo mama soooo ugly she cracked the camera lens when she went to take her driver's license photo."

"That's lame as fuck. Yo daddy so trifling that cops see his ass on the road and lock him up just because he looks like a thief."

"Yo mama so fat her pants size is gargantuous."

"Oooooooooooooo yo DADDDDAAAYYY soooo FAT and OLD that when God said, "let there be light" he had to ask him to move out the way." I dropped my fake mic while sticking out my tongue.

She laughed at me and moved to rubbed my tummy. I felt a kick and I slapped her hand away, my baby is always kicking the shit outa me whenever she, Richard or Kwashie is around. Fatima was just really great with kids and even an underdeveloped baby could tell that. She got some leftovers for me from her kitchen and I ate while we watched Beauty and the Beast.

She held up most of my weight while I held onto her allowing her to lead me to her bed. I was tired and my knees were weak with an aching back, she couldn't manage to lift me up because of my added pregnancy weight. I got to the bed and fell onto my back glad that I was finally comfortable, I missed sleeping on my belly. Fatima came to lie beside me allowing me to cuddle her and rest my head on her shoulder, she told me and my baby a bedtime story and soon enough I was drifting off glad that I still had her in my life.

I screamed out feeling an excruciating pain coming from my stomach. I grabbed at my lower abdomen feeling the stabbing pain and tried to stop it, tears ran down my face as I felt between my legs get wet. It's too early for the baby to come.

"Zidania!!" Fatima quickly flipped the switch on and light spilled across the room.

"Fatima..." I screamed out from the pain I was feeling.

"Fatima, my baby." I cried.

She tried to lift me up but I could only curl up from the pain. I heard Fatima gasp and wondered what could be wrong.

"Zidania, oh my god. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." She chanted.

"What's wrong?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"I have to get you to the hospital." She helped me up from my position on the bed and dragged a towel from off the chair beside her bed. I held onto my stomach with my other hand around her neck walking down the hallway and to the living room, she grabbed her keys from the glass bowl and we were on our way to the hospital after locking up and taking a century to get me into the elevator.

"You're going to be okay, everything is going to be okay." I rubbed my belly trying to soothe the pain.

Fatima nearly ran off the road when I let out an unexpected ear piercing scream, I cried grabbing her thigh and sinking my nails while I slapped the dashboard. She parked in front of the ER and went to get nurses and a wheelchair. My eyes were bloodshot and my face was stained from the tears that kept coming.

"There was blood....." I heard Fatima whisper to the nurse.

Blood? My throat was raw from the screaming and my vision blurry, I needed to know what was happening and I needed Kwashie. They got me into a bed and with all the frantic rushing to get everything set up and run checks on me I passed out when the pain got worst.

"Zidania?" I heard my name being called.

I slowly opened my eyes and adjusted them to the bright lights above me. I remembered being in the hospital but once the weight of reality hit me I started panicking hearing the heart rate monitor go wild beside me.

"Zim, calm down baby." It was Fatima.

"Ima?" I raised my hands to feel for her.

"I'm here, baby girl." She was crying.

"Why are you crying?" I asked.

"I'm going to get the doctor." She pried her hands away from me.

"Fatima!" I called her back but she didn't turn to look at me.

I started crying again when the doctor came in with Fatima behind him and a forlorn look on her face. The doctor had a clipboard in his hand checking off and scribbling with his pen.

"Mrs... Ekuban, right?" I nodded at him.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"How's my baby?" I croaked.

He sighed and dropped his gaze from me. He looked back at my face with that look, the look where he didn't want to be the one delivering the news but he had to.

"Mrs Ekuban, I'm sorry to have to deliver this news to you but you had a miscarriage."

My face dropped, my mouth hung open as tears ran down my face and created dots on the awful blue hospital gown that I was in. I stared at the white wall while the heavy silence in the room pressed against my eardrums and my heart pounded in my chest. I sucked in an enormous amount of air before letting it out with a loud holler feeling my emotions rip through me the same way the pain did. My chest ached as I sat there with my hands at my side bawling for my unborn child who was never going to see the light of day.

"Let me know when she has settled down." I heard the doctor say to Fatima before the door opened and he left.

She sat in the corner with tears of her own for awhile before getting up and coming to hug me. I didn't return the hug I just continued crying with my mouth open and a made up face. Fatima helped me to lie down as I turned my back to her and cried myself to sleep.

I heard voices around me but I kept my eyes shut to prevent the lights from worsening the headache I got from crying too much.

".... hormonal imbalances.. immune system wasn't responding well...."

"And you are sure she had a miscarriage?" More tears came as I heard Kwashie's broken voice.

"Yes. The biggest problem was a uterine abnormality. Mr Ekuban, I'm afraid that your wife will never be able to carry a child for the full term of a pregnancy and to respond to your earlier question trying again will only damage her mentally and physically." The doctor explained.

My crying started up again as I heard a sigh from the doctor and then Kwashie came to comfort me. I got up and flung myself into her arms clinging onto the only sanity I had left.

"I'm sorry, my love. I didn't mean for this to happen." She said through her tears.

"It's my fault. I'm not good enough." I cried.

"No, no. Don't say that. You are good enough, it's just that you can't manage a pregnancy. We have other alternatives that we can try." She rubbed my back trying to comfort me.

"I'm sorry I can't give you what you want." She held me tightly as my body shook from crying.

"I still have you and that's enough for me." She kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.." I chanted over and over as she rocked me side to side.

A week had passed and I was finally being discharged from the hospital. After I woke up to Kwashie speaking to the doctor I haven't uttered a word, I only cried. I stared at everyone who came to visit me until they gave up and left, Richard ended up crying after all his questions and statements went unanswered. I focused on the passing buildings on my way back home still under my quiet spell. I waited for her to open the door as I walked in and headed to the shower leaving her to carry my bag inside. I took a warm shower then got dressed and went to bed even though it was midday.

"Here, drink this." Kwashie came in stirring the contents in the mug with a spoon.

"It's lemon balm.." she answered my questioning look.

"Mama sent it for you and she said to drink it without sugar but I put two spoons of sugar in it for you." She smiled.

I returned the smile taking the mug from her, she sat at the foot of the bed with her back turned to me.

"I'm glad I could get at least a smile from you." She said.

"I thought I lost you too." Her voice cracked and I knew she was crying.

I rested the mug on the nightstand and moved over to her after getting out from under the covers. I hugged her from behind and felt her tilt her head backwards to rest on my forehead.

"We're going to get through this together." She patted my hand.

I still didn't respond. I held tightly onto her afraid that if I let go I'd lose her too and I didn't want that, I couldn't let that happen.

"Would you like for me to come lie down with you?" She asked.

I nodded on her back and she got up breaking the hold I had around her. She stripped down to her boxers and took off her binder throwing it on the chair in the corner. She blushed as she stuck her hand in her boxers to unhook the harness of her strap and pulled it off throwing it on the chair with her binder. She got in beside me and pulled me into her dragging the comforter over our shoulders.

"I love you." She kissed the back of my head.

"I love you too." I replied with a hoarse voice.

She didn't respond but I knew there was a smile dancing on her lips, I was left with my thoughts as I closed my eyes and felt the calming effects of the tea putting me to sleep.

I was on the beach walking towards a large gathering of maybe 200 persons, it looked like a wedding. I walked closer and by the time I got close enough there was a woman running towards the set up from the hotel. She was yelling something and it wasn't until she got in front of me that I heard her shout OBJECT! I stared at the fuzzy face trying to identify the person but I couldn't. I directed my gaze to the wedding canopy and saw a man with a surprised look on his face and I identified the person as Kwashie, it was our first wedding day. I looked beside Kwashie and saw myself leaning over with two persons gathered around me trying to keep me from falling.

"I OBJECT!" The person yelled again, it had to be Kacely. I remembered where I felt the pain, in my abdomen and that's why I was doubled over right now trying to prevent myself from passing out.

"She's not the one for you! I am!! We are from the same culture, we are from the same roots. She'll never understand you like I can!" Kacely screamed.

I was watching the scene play out from a third person perspective. I was watching my wedding get crashed by a crazed woman. I wasn't feeling the emotions and pain I felt on that day.

"You are a naive and impulsive girl, you are foolish and obsessive. Why would I ever leave my asantewaa for you? You will find someone who will love your ugly traits but that person isn't me. You've just ruined my wedding day and I shall never forgive you for this." Kwashie said.

Funny she should say that when she herself was enthralled enough to cheat on me with her.

"Release the hold you have on my daughter in law, you witch!!" Mama Ekuban shouted out.

My eyes widened at her words. Hold.. witch... what had Kacely done to me? I couldn't exactly remember in this dream like state.

"You'll regret not loving me." Kacely shouted out.

"You'll feel the pain I've felt," she said.

I watched as I finally fell to my knees and Kwashie rushed up to wrap her arms around me while I watched from a distance.

"You'll suffer as I have suffered." I flinched at the scream that left my lips.

"STOP IT!!" Kwashie cried out.

"You'll never find happiness.."

"Please, don't finish that sentence." Kwashie was crying now.

Mama E was chanting while holding out her hand to her with her eyes closed. She was chanting in her native tongue while dipping every now and then. The pastor that was there, Pastor Claire, was praying as well. He bowed his head and held onto the crucifix around his neck just praying. I looked at my dream self and saw that my face was contorted in pain and then I felt it, I felt a warm buzz in my abdomen.

".... where you seek it most." Kacely finished.

Once Kacely said that, the crowd turned to look at me, everyone even myself was staring back at me. Their eyes sending chills down my spine as they moved in one motion to look lower. I followed their gaze and saw that I was pregnant. Kacely was looking at me as well but her eyes were rolling to the back of her head as she chanted incoherent mutters and then the crowd started chanting the same thing.

You'll never find happiness.

You'll never find happiness.

You'll never find happiness.

The chanting stopped and Kacely, who was now standing in front of me with her hand on my stomach, said "where you seek it most."

I jumped out of my sleep, now painstakingly wide awake, sweating and panting looking around the now dark room realizing that I was alone. Tears ran down my face as I rested my palm on my now flat and empty stomach thinking about the dream. It's been so long that we had all put the impending doom of the curse on the back burner thinking that since she was no longer around I'd be fine but it was much deeper than that.

I shouted out for Kwashie hoping that she was in the apartment and in hearing range. I heard quickened footsteps pattering against the hardwood floor and then our room door flew open exposing my wife with a worried look on her face. I took up the pillow from behind me and threw it at her with a scream. I grabbed the second pillow and jumped off the bed stumbling up to her looking at her confused expression before slapping her across the face with the pillow.

"This is all your fault." I cried.

"What are you talking about?" She held up her hands to protect herself from my assault.

"It's your fault!" I said again but before I could slap her with the pillow she had de-weaponized me.

"What is it?" She sighed.

"My baby is gone because of you." I fell to my knees holding onto my flat stomach.

"What have I done, my love?" She stooped down to be at eye level with me.

"You just had to get a stalker, didn't you?" I said softly.

Her eyes grew wide with realization and shock as if she hadn't expected it to come back up. As a matter of fact, no one did. We all thought we had left it in the past.

"Zidania.." she called my name.

"Kwashie Fucking Ekuban." I cursed.

"Why couldn't you have taken care of her before she became a problem? Before she cursed me?" I pushed her and watched as she held onto the doorframe to keep herself up.

"You'll never find happiness where you seek it most." I repeated the words as if the wedding happened yesterday.

"I should have seen it coming, I should've known. How could I have been so blind when it was so goddamn obvious?" I asked.

"I was never what made you happiest and that dream mama had wasn't for me, it was for my unborn child." My lips quivered and tears welled up in my eyes as I stared at her.

"What did you expect me to do?" Kwashie was crying now.

"I expected you to take care of it like you said you would." I grabbed at my hair that was now in braids done by Sophia so that my loose hair wouldn't be a bother to me in the hospital.

"And was I supposed to take her life?" She raised her voice.

I stared into her red eyes that looked tired. She was now sitting in front of me with her elbows on her knees and her hands gripping tightly at her own hair.

"I killed Carter Jones..." my voice wasn't more than a whisper.

"What??" She looked at me.

"I killed Carter Jones for you." I repeated a little louder.

She was shocked. Her mouth hung open as she processed the words that just left my lips unsure of what to say next.

"I planned that car crash and the same person that I had help me is the SAME FUCKING PERSON THAT KACELY WENT TO AND PAID A LARGE AMOUNT OF MONEY TO HAVE ME KILLED!!" I barked out.

"I wonder what sad story she gave you as to why she couldn't pay her tuition, you fucking idiot!! You took your savings and paid for her tuition and last year you couldn't even manage to pay rent and the bills without me! Would you like to know where my money is coming from? The same guy she paid to have me killed. I HATE YOU!!" I slapped her across the cheek.

"You just had to fuck her instead of handling the situation! Instead of trying to protect me! I would've been dead if it wasn't for Mr Citronelli." I shouted out feeling my anger in my fingertips.

I got up from my knees and ran to the closet to pack clothes in my duffle bag. I pulled on my sweatpants and a dark jeans jacket over my tank top before turning around and stepping towards the door, I had planned to step over her but she was standing the next second and blocking my passage.

"Move." I said through gritted teeth.

"I will not let you leave." She said strongly.

"I'll fight you." I dropped the bag.

"The doctor said you should be resting."

"Fuck you and that fucking doctor, homes!" I pushed her.

"You are not leaving." She didn't budge.

"Fuck this!"

I drew my fist back and carried it forward to her face but instead of hitting her nose or cheek, Kwashie held onto my hand firmly without breaking the gaze she had on my face. I narrowed my eyes in anger as I tried to pull away from her but instead of letting me go, she twisted my arm and spun me around pinning it against my back.

"Calm down." She whispered.

"Fucking hell! Let me go." I groaned from the pain I was in and my struggles only made it worst.

"You are not leaving this house."

"You can't keep me here against my will." I hissed.

"I'm not. I'm your wife and I'm telling you that you can't leave this house and you are going to listen."

She released her grip on my arm and I walked over to the bed falling face first screaming into the sheets.

"Does Fatima know that you killed her sister?" She asked me.

"The only persons that know is me, Citronelli and God. Oh, and now you." I turned my head.

"I never pinned you to be such a drastic person."

"And I never pinned you to be a fucking cheater, guess we ran out of pins on those." I said sarcastically.

"Why'd you do it?"

"Isn't it fucking obvious?" I asked feeling irritated.

"No, so explain." I felt the bed dipped.

"She was the one who set up the hit and run on your life that day."

"Really?" Her voice raised a bit.