I looked over at Fatima to see her eyebrows knitted together trying to memorize the journalism terms and meanings. She basically lived with us now and I didn't mind. I haven't moved out into a house of my own with Kwashie even though it has been three years. I sat beside my best friend and honorary sister preparing for our finals so we could get them done and then kick back for the summer. Richard's gift to us for making the graduation list was tailor made suits, I was used to that but Fatima on the other hand was extremely excited.

"This sucks." She slammed the book shut.

"We've made it so far. At least we're not Kwashie that has to spend the next two years in school because she decided to do Law." I tried to lighten the mood.

"You're right." She laughed.

"We'll do great. We already kicked ass on our article and that was worth majority of the grade." I reassured.

"Plus, if this fails for you then you can fall back on photography." I patted her leg.

"And if this fails for you?" She asked me.

"I'll just never move out of my Dad's house and maintain my AC habits with writing articles online and probably get into SEO and content creation." I flipped my natural hair that had grown passed my shoulders.

"We can always move in together, the upcoming photographer and the freelancer. Mhm, it has a nice ring to it." She held her chin.

"And Kwashie?"

"Oh, forgot about her." She rolled her eyes with a laugh.

"Damn, all that was three years ago." I pouted.

"I know, babe. Still doesn't change the fact that she did it."

"Forgive her, please? For me.." I clasped my hands.

"I already have but it doesn't stop me from hating her for hurting you."

"I love you." I got up onto my knees to get on her lap and wrapped my arms around her neck.

"I love you too." She kissed my jaw.

"Did the place call you back?"

"Uhhh yeah, they did. They want me to come in and show some of my work even though all they want is for me to snap some pictures of three models wearing their merch." She explained.

"They want to make sure they're getting the best quality, which they are." I flicked her nose.

"I can't wait for summer." She sighed.

"You have plans?" I raised my eyebrow at her. We've never spent a summer apart so far.

"Big Cee wants me to go on a trip with him." She muttered.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I screamed.

"I was still processing it, I'm right here you don't need to scream." She pushed me off of her.

"I'm glad you decided to meet him." She was Carter's sister after all, Mr Jones' seed was strong as fuck.

"Did I tell you that they are pressuring me into getting pregnant?" I fussed.

"Only for the hundredth time." She said sarcastically.

"Well, they are. I don't want to get pregnant." I pushed back my tears.

"Do they even have a reason?"

"No! That's what's bothering me the most! They don't have a legit reason why they want me to get pregnant." I frowned.

"I think maybe they just want to prove that Kwashie is a male to the public eye." She reasoned.

"She has M on her birth paper, she identifies as M and she 92.99 percentT looks like a M. What more do they want?" I groaned.

"A baby..." she chuckled.

"Ugh, I fucking hate you sometimes on Big G." I hissed my teeth and got up to walk away.

Why wasn't she sympathizing with my anti-pregnancy rally? Kwashie knew how I felt from day one and even though all I had to do was pop the sucker out and Mama E would take care of him I didn't want to do that either. I loved my body and I'm not physically nor mentally ready for a pregnancy right now. I want to enjoy my first summer out of school and I'd prolong this as long as possible.

I found myself in the living den with Richard and a walking and talking baby boy. I looked at the kid with fat jaws and an unwanted resemblance to me, he was cute that much I could agree on.

"Zidane." He called to me.

"It's ZidanIA." I corrected him.

He pouted at me and with a roll of my eyes I bent down to pick him up. I stared into his dark blue eyes that he got from Richard, he smiled wide at me and I returned the smile before firmly gripping his torso and throwing him up in the air catching him as he fell back into my arms. I spun him around holding onto his legs and shook him while his arms hung loosely below his head. His screaming and squeals of excitement filled the room as I flung him into the couch then quickly started tickling him watching the painful smile on his face as his eyes started to water and he begged me to stop.

"You're going to spoil him." Richard said.

"No, I'm going to make him rough!" I patted Zachary's knee.

Gir ran up to me and jumped into the couch beside me. Her little short legs accustomed to the distance of the couch from the floor. I scratched behind her ears as I watched Bubble Guppies on our family tv and groaned before changing the channel to SpongeBob.

"I was watching that." Zachary slapped me.

"Lil boy, I will slam dunk on yo ass so don't be slapping me." I pushed his head.

He laughed and got back up staring at me expectantly but I ignored him.

"He's just a baby." I heard Fatima join us.

"He's grown." I narrowed my eyes at the young monster beside me.

"So, have you decided what you're going to do about having a baby?" Richard asked me once he came back from the kitchen with three beers.

I sipped on my own thoughtfully staring at my baby brother, if I had a kid right now then they'd only be four years apart. Wouldn't that be weird? My child and my baby brother in the same age group? I brought the mouth of the beer bottle to his puckered and waiting lips tilting it slightly so just the right amount can get pass his little lips. He scrunched up his face as he always did and I laughed at him.

"Zim, I will The Rock you if you don't stop giving my son alcohol." Richard threatened.

"What? You don't want him to become an alcoholic like his old man and old sis?" I rubbed his tummy.

"I am not an alcoholic." Richard defended himself.

"Debatable." Fatima cleared her throat.

"You're in on this too?" Richard looked shocked.

"Acceptance is the first step to recovery, old man Macky." Fatima leaned forward to pat his shoulder.

She got up from her spot beside Richard to come beside me and Zachary. She lifted him up so that he was now sitting on her lap while she played with him and I watched. We always looked like the perfect lesbian couple when we had to babysit which was more on Fatima than me. Zachary rolled off my bed one night and busted his lip and all I could do was laugh while Fatima rushed to the rescue. In my defense, I had told him to stop.

"Stop taking over my best friend." I frowned at the kid.

Fatima was the only one that was currently 22. My birthday is next month in May and Kwashie is June. I heard the door unlock and in came Kwashie and his mother holding a square tub of my weekly ice cream delivery.

"Good afternoon everyone." Mama E greeted us.

"Where is Sophia?" She asked after we all responded with our greeting.

"Grocery shopping." Richard answered.

They got remarried last year and my maid of honor looking ass stood behind her in a soft pink suit with a baby blue bow tie. She didn't enforce the dress, she enforced her horrible choice of wedding colors though. Mama E and I complained about the colors as she stood beside me in her soft pink chiffon dress with a baby blue band around the waist. Fatima didn't have to wear a dress either as she stood beside Mama E and Sophia. The men had on baby blue suits with pink ties, we laughed at our bubblegum attires all day. Richard looked extremely handsome in his full white suit and pink tie and Sophia in her white wedding dress.

Kwashie motioned for me to follow her upstairs, once we got on the steps she took the beer bottle from me and drank it all in one go. We got to my room and I went to pack up the books from off the floor while she closed the door, my heartbeat picked up when I heard the soft click of the locks. I rested the books on the couch and looked up at Kwashie, her eyes were dark and filled with lust as she hungrily stared me down.

"You know..." she walked up to me.

"There's only one reason why you aren't carrying my child right now." She held onto my chin and lifted my face up to hers.

"Let me.." she cut me off.

"I didn't say you could speak." She whispered.

She lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around her waist with a sigh. I was still small and she still towered over me despite my prayers for height that still went unanswered but if being this small meant I got this kind of treatment then I'm okay with it because even Fatima enjoyed lifting me up. She pressed my back against the wall with our bodies molded together, chest to chest.

"What do you want?" I asked her.

"Isn't it obvious?" Her reply was sarcastic.

"Why do you want it so badly?" I sighed.

"It's almost three years, baby. I want to start a family with you. You've been avoiding moving in with me and it's starting to hurt." Her words were soft and filled with emotions, she was right though, I have been avoiding the situation.

"Can't we wait until you've finished school? I thought that was our main plan." I always had excuses.

"I won't be finishing school for now, after this I have more school before I can become a practice lawyer and then practice until I can become a lawyer." She explained for the hundredth time.

"Are you sure it isn't just the five years? I can wait..." I trailed off.

She shook her head and let me down. I slid down the wall as she turned her back and walked to my bed to sit down. I watched her intently watch me and felt self conscious, did I really have a good reason to be denying her what she wants?

"Can you please move in with me?" She more like begged. It's all she's been asking since the year started.

"I have to stay and help with Zachary." My excuse stood strong.

"He's three now and Fatima is here."

"Fatima has a life too you know, I can't just pass of my baby brother to her."

"All of a sudden you have a profound liking for the child." She argued.

"Never said I hated the kid, just don't like children overall." I folded my arms across my chest.

"Just.. just move in with me and stop all of this avoiding. I need you." She shifted on the bed.

"Do you even have a house?" I questioned.

"I've been living by myself since last year, my father thought it was time I moved out." She sighed.

Her father was a very strong man and it sounded more like a demand than a suggestion, if anything.

"Your dad put you out?" I narrowed my eyes at her.

"You make it sound like its hard to believe. He would've done it since I was 18, I would've been out there working for my own if Richard didn't manage to convince him to let me stay until after the wedding." She explained.

"Rent..." she answered my unvoiced question.

"Is it rough?" I was concerned, slightly.

"It is." She chuckled.

"Why didn't you tell me from before?"

"I didn't want you to feel sorry for me, as a "man" there are certain things required of me and fending for myself is the main one right now."

"At least he's still paying for your education."

"At least" a smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

"How are we going to afford a baby then?"

"Why are you thinking like a helpless woman? I didn't think you'd want to be a housewife." She raised her eyebrow at me.

"No!" I was disappointed in my own self for thinking like that.

"All I'm saying is that I don't have an income."

"You'll get one. I'm surprised Fatima hasn't convinced you to just get a job at the law firm since you're there with us every day." She chuckled.

I couldn't answer, I haven't worked a day in my life and Law wasn't where I wanted to be. Was I ready for the fast approaching adulthood? I knew I couldn't be a daddy's girl forever but I intended on prolonging it for as long as I could and here was Kwashie prying my comfort and privileges away from me.

"What kind of house?" I asked after awhile.

"It's an apartment, very uptown and very expensive." She laughed.

"Why'd you choose it then?"

"Me? My mother chose it and convinced my father to pay the first month's rent and deposit." She had her palm rested on her chest.

That's why she was never home when I went there and that's why she always came here to visit me. Her room was still fully in tact and I'm just realizing the emptiness of the space. Her closet door was locked so I didn't see the lack of clothing, it was my lack of observation that didn't have me questioning anything until I had this piece of information.

"Richard knows." She said.

Shit. Why does Richard always know everything? She patted her lap and I walked over to her and sat on her wrapping my legs around her waist and resting my head on her shoulder. I felt her arms lock around me holding me up and I smiled.

"I just need my wife with me, is that too much to ask?"

"It's not, babe. I'm sorry for being hardheaded." My cheek was mushed against her shoulder and I didn't bother to lift it before talking.

"You don't know how lonely and cold my nights were. The nights I didn't stay here that is." She rubbed my back.

"Yeah, you have been here a lot." I laughed.

"So you'll come?" Her voice was holding back excitement as if she knew I'd give in.

"I will. Let me talk to Fatima first." I sighed.

"I know it must be hard for you." She continued to rub my back.

"Yeah, we haven't been apart. We're like Siamese twins or conjoined twins for that matter." I was the clingy one, I was the one who didn't give Fatima any breathing space for three whole years and I think this would be good for us.

"I'm honestly tired of hearing you two sing that Siamese song." I felt her body shake from the laughter.

"We are Siamese if you please, we are Siamese if you don't please." Kwashie mocked us.

"Hey!! Don't hate." I squeezed my legs around her.

"Sometimes, I wished you were conjoined at the hips with me." She was sad and I could hear the longing in her voice.

**

It was the week after finals and Fatima and I were currently at the mall shopping. I didn't want to be here considering majority of my clothes were purchased online and delivered to my house, it was a luxury I was glad that I could afford.

"Stop whining and come along." Fatima pulled me by the arm.

"I'm too old for this." I groaned.

"I wonder what you'll be saying when you're actually too old." She didn't look back at.

"Ugh, I'm too old for this." I said in a croaky voice.

She ignored me and continued pulling me off to her shop of choice. Fatima wore a lot of black and if it wasn't black it was either gray or white. We went into a gothic looking store that had Chan Chan on the door, people still wore hip belts? As we stepped into the store she dropped my hand and disappeared between the racks of mainly black and blacker clothing. I went over to the shoes section to look at the boots they had on display, there were so many buckles and they were shiny. My eyes caught sight of a black denim jacket and I went to check it out, I liked it and they had it in my size so I took it up. I saw a black leather jacket and went over for it, it looked extremely good and so did the price. I sucked in a breath as the price tagged burned my finger tips and I hooked it back where it was before. I held onto the denim jacket and waited for Fatima at the cash register, we paid before leaving the store and headed over to the picture place that printed her photos. I've offered to buy her a printer that could do that but her words were why, when I can support a local business that does the same thing?

I sat patiently as she went through the pictures with the guy at the counter who was staring at me with lust filled eyes. I turned up my nose at him and looked down at my Birkenstocks wishing that Fatima would've taken the stupid printer that I would've used Richard's money to buy anyways.

"Is that your model?" The guy asked in a thick accent that I couldn't pinpoint.

"Uhh, yeah." Fatima didn't look up from her stock of photos.

She practiced on me a lot but I couldn't understand why he was staring at me the way he was until the color seemed to drain from Fatima's face and she slowly turned her gaze to me. I looked at her blank face then down at the picture she was holding in her hand to see my naked form pressed against the wet glass door of the shower with nipples that could clearly be seen. My breath hitched in my throat as embarrassment washed over me and I clenched my fists.

"I keep telling you dykes that you're still a woman under all that men clothing. Why would you ever dress like... that.. with a body like this?" His stomach rising and falling with each word. If we didn't leave now, I'd be catching a case.

"She never said that she wanted to be a man, you don't know anything about her so your words are based off false and inaccurate personal assumptions of masculine lesbians. I think you should watch how you speak to your customers before I have your business shut down on the terms of sexually immoral and indecent approach to customers and not to mention the underlying sexism and homophobia in your words." Fatima was stern and professional, traits she learned from working at the law firm.

"I can refuse service to you, you little..." she cut him off.

"Say it and today will be your last day of operation." Her form was rigid.

"I have freedom of speech!! I have my rights." His anger rising.

"And so do we." Her smile was malicious as she stuffed the photos back into the envelope and snatched up her film.

She turned to walk away and I heard the man calling back to her asking for his payment.

"Consider it me allowing you to continue printing photos." She had only slightly turned around to give the man a side eye.

I followed her out of the store and realized how grateful I was for her because my hotheadedness would've resorted to anger and then running to Richard so he could keep my record clean and me jail free.

"Thank you." I said after awhile.

"No, thank you. These pictures are amazing and if you don't mind I'd like to blow them up bigger and use them as wall decor." She grinned.

"Only if you get me a set too." I smirked.

We sat down at the food court and I thought it was full time I told her about my plans on moving in with Kwashie. With our food open in front of us and picking from each other's plates we got the usual stares from those who thought we were cute and the hate glares from the ones who didn't.

"Ima.." I got her attention.

Her wide honey eyes looked up from her plate as she scooped noodles in her mouth looking at me waiting for the rest of my words.

"I told Kwashie that I'd move in with her." I rushed out.

For a minute I saw something flash across her face, an emotion she didn't seem to want danced in her eyes momentarily before going back to her previous stoic expression.

"That's good, finally." Her words didn't sound as enthusiastic as she probably wanted them to.

"Yeah, right. Finally.." I acted as if I didn't notice a change.