I haven't slept for more than two hours the most. I stayed up the whole night staring at the wedding suit hanging on the wall, I couldn't see it because it was in a black travel bag but I knew that it was there. The alcohol finally knocked me out at 6 in the morning and I was now being awaken at 8AM by Sharon and Mama Ekuban for a 4PM wedding.

"Can I please get just a little more rest?" I asked them.

"No, you know you have a full day of activities. Here, we brought you coffee." She rested the steaming cup on the bedside table and drew me up by my arm.

I groaned and sat up fussing before I took up the coffee cup and sipped the light brown liquid loving the familiar taste of hazelnut.

"What's first on the agenda?" I asked.

"You taking a shower and cleaning up." Sharon said.

I took a few more sips of the coffee while I scrolled through the messages I had with Fatima who broke her promise of not falling asleep on me. I scrolled through my twitter feed and laughed a bit before going to Instagram and liking a few pictures. I locked my phone and threw it down on the bed resting the half empty cup of coffee back on the nightstand.

I got up and walked into the bathroom seeing that this time around Mama E scattered sage and bay leaves in the shower and I could smell the strong and overpowering scent of the lemongrass essential oil. I brushed my teeth first then took up the citrus and cucumber pink Himalayan salt scrub that she left for me and stepped into the shower. I soaped up first and then scrubbed my entire body feeling the salt crystals move against my skin in a familiar way that I was used to.

I hummed a soft song in my mind while I rinsed off and got out of the shower feeling bright and alive, the effects of the liquor quickly wearing off. I wrapped up in the white fluffy robe that had my name embroidered into it, this was a gift from Sophia, a sorry I missed your first wedding and sorry I treated you like shit gift. She did get an invite and I knew she wouldn't miss it since she was trying to get on Richard and I's good side.

I had breakfast in my room alone while watching Invader Zim on my MacBook that I brought with me and felt my mood considerably lift. I didn't want to think about the wedding nor what would happen afterwards so I preoccupied my mind with everything else. We still had to get married and my worst nightmare, well one of but not the worst of the worst, had come true; I'd be marrying someone that didn't love me as I loved them. Even though I was fine with that prospect on the business level, I wasn't fine with it after falling in love with Kwashie. She should've just kept her secret and her life private and away from mine, I should've stuck with my original plan of keeping this strictly professional and uptight.

I must have dozed off because my shoulders were being shaken, forcing me awake. I groaned at the sun spilling through the light hotel curtains wishing I was home in my bed cuddled up against Fatima laughing at some old movie that she wanted to rewatch just for memory's sake.

"Where's Fatima?" I asked.

"She's with Richard." Sharon told me.

"I cancelled everything and allowed you to sleep hoping you'd wake up on your own but it's now 2:30 PM and we have to start getting ready missy." Sharon dragged me up from the bed and lead me to a makeshift vanity.

"I'm going for Lisa, go brush your teeth again." She instructed me.

I hissed my teeth and walked off to the bathroom leaning onto the counter roughly brushing my teeth and my tongue. I gagged before spitting out everything and cursing myself then washed my mouth out, I washed my face with black soap and patted it dry while walking back to sit in the chair in front of the makeshift vanity.

"Hi, Lisa." I greeted my hairstylist.

The procedures weren't necessarily the same because this time I had to wear a wig since my hair was in a tapered cut and she had to lay my edges and curl the hair beside my ears. She covered the short wig with a bald cap and then wrapped the African print head wrap just as Mama E had shown her. She got finished with my hair and then Carey strode in with her big makeup kit that held house and land.

"Glad to be at wedding attempt 2.0" Carey joked.

"Glad you could make it." I laughed.

"You look so much better than last time, right Carey?" Lisa said.

"Right. You look so much alive and I'm glad that you got a chance to try this marriage thing again. You deserve happiness." Her smile was comforting and the smile I returned was ghostly and hollow.

Carey did my makeup in neutral and earthy tones and then Sharon and Mama E came to help me get dressed. I knew that Pastor Claire didn't want anything to do with us after what happened at the last ceremony so we had to find another Pastor and this one was a woman who was very fond of Kwashie and I together.

I smoothed out my vest as I fixed my jacket on me and Sharon laced up my shoes. Mama E had left to go check on Kwashie and then drive to the greenhouse with Mr Ekuban. I looked myself over in the mirror while the new cape train was fixed on my shoulders and I didn't feel the happiness I felt the last time I was in this position. Sharon knew everything because I found myself at her diner on Thursday night in the booth I had claimed for myself in the back with a strawberry milkshake and a double patty chicken burger crying my eyes out and spitting food everywhere while trying to talk while eating.

"It'll be over before you know it" she reassured me with a soft pat on the shoulder.

I looked at my reflection once more loving the tailor made suit. The pants hugged me perfectly and my vest and suit jacket sat lovingly on my body over the white button down shirt that was buttoned up to my neck. I followed Sharon out of the hotel and pass the staring guests and hotel staff outside to the waiting limo. I got into the back with my train bundled up beside me and Sharon holding tightly onto my hand.

"Sophia is going to be there." I muttered.

"So I heard. I'm glad she's trying to make amends." She fixed my jacket.

I turned my gaze to the window and stared beyond the glass at the passing city that we'll be leaving behind after the wedding ceremony and reception. We weren't leaving the island, we were just going up to the hilly inland area to a little cottage that Kwashie chose for a whole week. Yep, a whole week with Kwashie Ekuban. Nothing felt in my favor today but I wasn't going to ask if life could get any worse because I don't think I could manage if it did.

We pulled over in front of the greenhouse and the driver got out to open the door for me. I stepped out pulling my train behind me and walked up to a waiting Richard by the door with my bouquet of Orchids and a smaller one for Sharon.

"Right on time, princess." He kissed my hand.

"Thanks dad." I blushed.

"You should wear white more often, it suits you." He complimented me.

"That's what I said." Sharon chimed in.

"If you and Mama E are here, then who is managing the catering?" I asked.

"Whitney..." she smiled.

Whitney was her head chef and the best if I do say so myself. My mouth watered at the thought of Whitney's cooking and realized that that was probably the silver lining around my dark cloud. Sharon walked ahead with her husband starting off the ceremony and Cecila walked the aisle doing her flower girl duties one year older than she was last August. The pianist played the same tune I walked down the aisle to the last time and my mouth turned sour at the beautiful song that I now despised. The guests stood as Richard and I stood at the beginning of the short makeshift aisle.

"Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave." Richard imitated Skipper and I couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corner of my lips.

I saw Richard's close associates and Uncle T with his twins and teenage daughter that had on eyeliner too thick for under her eyes. I looked at the beauty of the green foliage around us and I smiled at my expert and well suited suggestion. The extra oxygen that was being produced made me feel alive and I specifically requested this room because it was the orchid sanctuary that had a small fountain and irrigation system that mimicked a river with many legs. The running water calmed me so much that I was looking forward to the honeymoon in the hills because the owner said there was a river nearby and it could be heard from the house.

I met the bright eyes and wide smile of my newly acquired best friend and shot her a wolffish grin before I turned my head and met the wistful gaze of my soon to be spouse. Richard gave me away for the second time this year but the only difference was he shed no tears and had a venomous look that was directed towards Kwashie. I held onto her hand as she led me to stand in front of Pastor Allen-Campbell and Sharon fixed my train then took my bouquet from me. I nodded my head at Mr Devereaux and he gave me a tired look expressing how much he would appreciate if this was the last time and he wouldn't have to stand here again in another attempt at marrying me off to the African.

Kwashie held onto my hands and smiled at me. I looked her up and down admiring the dark green dress pants and blazer that was made from the African print of my cape, I can't deny that she wore suits well. I smiled back at her but I didn't meet her gaze, I stared behind her at a Purple Heart orchid trying to compare myself to it. Orchids were strong and resilient, they didn't need much water to survive and could thrive under little to no care.

"We are gathered here today..." Pastor Allen-Campbell started.

I tuned her out. I didn't need to hear all of this again, especially since the feeling of Kwashie's hand on mines was heating up my well oiled skin. The prayer started and unlike last time when we shared an intimate stare, I bowed my head with my eyes closed paying reverence and respect to the Lord. I felt her hands squeezed mine but I refused to look up at her, she needs to put some respect on the Big G's name to be honest.

"If there is anyone here today who has reasonable beliefs that these two should not be brought together in holy matrimony, please speak now or forever hold your peace." She said against my complaints.

I wanted her to skip over it because of what happened last time but my eyes drifted to meet the waiting ones of the person standing in front of me with a new found hatred and disgust, both feelings I've been repressing since this morning after my herbal shower. Everyone looked around with crossed fingers hoping the same mishap doesn't happen twice.

"Well then, let us continue." The pastor smiled at us.

"Thank you all for being here this afternoon. Kwashie Ekuban and Zidania McGlashan, today you not only marry the right person, you also commit to being the right partner, the one with whom the other can stand and face the world."

If only that was as true as she made it sound...

"Kwashie Ekuban and Zidania McGlashan, on your journey together, keep your spouse in the space of highest priority in your heart. The love that you share must be guarded and cherished forever, for it is your most valuable treasure. Always remember these words; Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

Tears brimmed my eyes as I willed them to dry not wanting to get emotional, the ungrateful woman in front of me did not deserve it. I looked away and begged the earth to open up or the minutes to run by quicker. In my haste decision making between Thursday and today I had called the pastor and told her that we decided against reading our own vows and then I passed the message to Mama E so it could be passed along to Kwashie.

"Do you Kwashie Ekuban take Zidania McGlashan to be your lawfully wedded partner, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and not so good times, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto them for as long as you both shall live?" She asked Kwashie.

"I do." Kwashie's smile was broad and inviting.

"Do you Zidania McGlashan take Kwashie Ekuban to be your lawfully wedded partner, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and not so good times, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto them for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." I didn't hesitate with my response. I had to do this, I had to do this for Richard.

I turned my head at the small amount of guests and sharply breathed in once my eyes laid on Fatima but it didn't look like it was Fatima. It looked like Carter Jones was sitting there staring back at me with that goddamn expression she had when she woke up and saw me staring at her. I quickly looked away but I couldn't resist the urge to look back and it wasn't CJ anymore but the tender smile of Fatima.

"May we now have the rings?"

My favorite cousin Dewi, left his seat and walked up to us holding a dark green cushion with gold trims and tassels. He smirked at me while he stood his ground before us holding the cushion as if his life depended on it. He was terribly upset the last time that he didn't get to do his part since he practiced it so much.

"The ring, an unbroken circle, represents unending love. As often as either of you look upon these rings, may you be reminded of this moment and the love you have promised to one another."

"Kwashie Ekuban, please place this ring on Zidania's finger and repeat after me." Kwashie took the platinum band that matched my engagement ring from the pastor.

"Zidania, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and that I'm choosing to share my life's journey with you. I give you this ring with the pledge to love you today, tomorrow, and always." Kwashie repeated the lines as she slid the ring onto my finger.

"Zidania McGlashan, please place this ring on Kwashie's finger and repeat after me."

"Kwashie, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and that I'm choosing to share my life's journey with you. I give you this ring with the pledge to love you today, tomorrow, and always." I repeated my vows as I slid the ring onto her finger concreting our decision.

"Kwashie and Zidania , I want to wish you both much love and happiness as you begin your new journey. Remember to keep lots of laughter in your life and love will never be far behind." Pastor Allen-Campbell smiled warmly at us.

"Kwashie and Zidania, before these witnesses you have pledged to be joined in marriage. You have now sealed this pledge with your wedding rings. You may now seal this ceremony with a kiss."

The part of the ceremony I was dreading the most. I was staring at Kwashie as she cleared her throat and brought me back from my thoughts of existential dread. I stepped forward as she did and leaned in to meet her halfway, I kept my eyes open afraid that she'll slip away and this moment wouldn't be real but as soon as our lips touched my eyes slid shut and my world and barriers collapsed. I felt whole, I felt those fucking fireworks I always felt and most of all I felt brand new, a feeling I was accustomed to when she touched me and then the most current mishaps flooded my mind as I pulled away from her quickly and heard the claps of the guests in the background. Her eyes were sad and I turned forcing her to turn as well so we could complete this ceremony once and for all.

I walked down the aisle hand in hand with my new spouse smiling at everyone who was happy to see that we worked out in the end and I was glad that they couldn't see pass the fake smiles and wax masks molded to fit us making us appear as a happy couple. We didn't exit the greenhouse, we took the left to the canopy where the photographer was waiting and even though we could afford a professional I decided that I wanted it to be Fatima who captured this moment for me.

"Hi, my name is Fatima and I'll be your photographer for today." She formally introduced herself.

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Fatima." I shook her hand.

"This is my spouse, Kwashie." I motioned beside me.

"Congrats on tying the knot." Fatima laughed and walked away to get her camera.

I stood with Kwashie and it was awkward so I looked up at her with a playful smile and bumped her with my shoulder.

"I see your lip healed well."

"It's the black genes," she answered.

"And Kacely?" We walked together to the area for the photos.

"Minor concussion."

"Mhm.."

Despite this all, I trusted her with my whole being and when I turned to fall back in her unsuspecting arms, she caught me. She looked surprised at first but then her features softened and a smile played at her lips as I heard the camera click. We took a few more pictures before Richard, Sophia and her newborn, Sharon and her husband and, my uncle with his flock came to join us for family pictures. Fatima put the camera on a timer before she came to pose with us and then one where she was standing with me alone. She was taller than me, as was everyone else, as I looked up at her and she looked down at me. Our eyes sparkled and I was laughing at a stupid comment she made right as the camera clicked and captured our intimate moment in a frozen state.

We finished up with the photos and made our way to the hotel for the reception. Kwashie and I still planned on doing our dance to a song she selected back then. We walked into the room of waiting guests so that we could get started. Sharon unhooked my train and the song Fall by Davido blasted through the speakers as we moved in sync and danced the routine that we practiced a million and one times until perfection. I felt at peace as I swayed with the beat of the song and danced with the woman I thought would be my home for years to come and even with the looming clouds this moment felt like forever and I didn't want it to end.

The rest of the evening was smooth, filled with laughter and just pure fun. Richard's speech was heartbreaking and sentimental, I might've shed a tear with him while the crowd sniffled and awed their agreements. Kwashie spoke her poetic words which had the crowd swooning but I saw right through her glass house facade and I didn't let it spoil my mood. We all ate and drank before more games were played and then we had to cut the cake. I stood in front of her and held onto the knife while her hand was over my own and waited on them to count down before I moved bringing the knife down slicing through the cake. We both took up forks and got pieces of the cake before intertwining our arms and feeding each other then doing the same with glasses of champagne.